Pinkie Pie ends up on Earth as a human. With seemingly no way back home, she must adapt to life in this strange new world.
Heather Young is a 17-year-old young woman living in America and wants nothing more to be alone and not bothered by people. She has shunned the concept of friendship after nasty previous experiences. However, her dad has not given up on her.
One day, a pink hair stranger appeared outside in Heather's yard. Heather investigates and finds out this stranger calls herself Pinkie Pie. The stories she tells sounds almost entirely made up. How will Heather deal with this woman who claims to be a magical talking pony from a faraway magical land? How will Pinkie fit into a world unlike the very friendly Equestria?
Heather was in bliss playing online races in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. She was in first and seemingly no spiny shells in sight to ruin her day. “Yeah, check me out! 200cc and I didn’t even fall off course once!” She said to herself. All was going well, till Luna started barking. This much barking was beyond her normal amount. “Shut up Luna, I’m in the middle of an online race, can’t this wait?” The barking didn’t stop, “I wish dad was home to take care of this. You know what? Fine. But this better be pretty darn important! I was winning for once and I’m going to lose this race so badly.”
Heather followed Luna outside in the snow and saw a young woman faced down in the ground. What really caught Heather’s attention was how the young woman had pink hair. “Oh great, some other girl who thinks dying their hair makes them oh so interesting. What happened here anyway? Is she okay? You can stop barking now Luna, I get the message.” Heather walked over to poke the body with a stick and the young woman suddenly jumped up, really catching Heather by surprise. When the young woman spotted Heather, she screamed loudly, leading to Heather covering her ears. “Quiet down will ya?! I don’t want the whole neighborhood to hear.” The mysterious woman took several quick glances around, a few toward Heather, Luna, and many toward herself.
“This is so wild!” The stranger exclaimed, “This isn’t Ponyville or from the looks of it, Equestria. I look so different! Oh... right, humans, Twilight mentioned them. But, this doesn’t look like anywhere near Canterlot High.”
“What?” Was all Heather could let loose.
“I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?”
“Err... Heather Young. Wait, Pinkie? Sounds like an Internet or nickname. What’s your actual name?”
“Pinkamena Diane Pie, but ponies feel uneasy about that name.”
“You know what? Fine, just stick with Pinkie. I’ll take your nickname over something that sounds almost just as fake, but even I get a bad vibe from Pinkamena. It’s like the name some crazy evil person would have. Anyway, what are you even doing here anyway?”
“It’s a long story. It started when...”
“Actually, just come in the house with me, it’s cold out here.” Pinkie and Luna followed Heather inside. Pinkie bounced on all fours. What? She really thinks she’s a horse? But even horses don’t bounce like this. What is wrong with this girl? Also, bringing a stranger into the house? Dad will be so mad. Clearly something is screwy about this girl. Heather thought. They sit down in the living room.
“So, I was helping Twilight with an experiment in her castle. She was working on a teleporter to help creatures get across Equestria far quicker than any other transportation like trains could. The trials involving objects went fine, so she wanted to test out a pony. I volunteered. The goofy machine had a lot of spinning bits and funny noises. I sneezed and I think that threw off the results. And now I’m here.” Heather did a double take.
“You expect me to believe any of that?! Come on, what’s the real reason you’re here? Did you partied too hard?”
“I love parties! If there’s a party happening in Ponyville, I probably planned or made it myself. I’m a party planning professional pink pony.”
“If you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly a pony. Wow, I wish I could have some of what you’re having if it makes you this happy.”
“Why such frowns? I turn frowns into slimes. Smile smile smile!”
“On second thought, maybe not. Are you seriously breaking into song? Please no. Welcome to Earth. We’re in the United States of America, New York state. The city of Niagara Falls and today is February 22nd, 2022.
“You look pretty fine now, so I’m sure you can find your way home from here before dad gets back home and wonder why I brought a stranger into the house.”
“But my home is way off in Ponyville. Do you have any teleporters or spells that could take me back?”
“Spells?!”
“You know, magic.” Heather started laughing, barely able to contain herself. “I like to make ponies laugh, but I didn’t intend it this time.”
“So, you’re from a land called Equestria with ponies and magic and probably sun shines and rainbows. I gotta hand it to you, you sure know how to make up crazy stories. Look, I had to lose my Mario Kart online races because you somehow shown up in my yard and Luna wouldn’t stop barking. The whole walking on fours thing and even your dyed hair kinda helped sell what you were saying. Oh, wait, I think I know what it is. You’re homeless, ain’t you? Well, this isn’t a shelter. I don’t know how it is that homeless people get by, but, this isn’t my problem. Whatever is going on up there in your head, I don’t want to deal with it.” Pinkie’s eyes started to tear up.
“It’s clear you need help, but I can’t give it to you.” With a matter of seconds, Pinkie’s hair deflated, she became pretty grayscale looking, and she was on the verge of crying. “Whoa, how did you do that with your hair? It was like a balloon going off, including the sounds. And somehow you’re way less colorful. That... doesn’t really make sense.”
“I’m sorry to have bothered you, I’ll be going, you’ll never see me again.” Upon witnessing this, Luna started to bark angerly at Heather.
“Wait!” Heather called out to Pinkie, “You have to understand, the stuff you talked about, this doesn’t happen around here. There’s no such thing as magic. There’s people claiming there is, but they never have solid proof. There’s stage magicians, but they use numerous tricks and illusions to make it look like something is happening that really isn’t. Now that doesn’t mean I suddenly believe everything you told me, but, the fact you did something seemingly impossible, or just really good at faking it, might mean there is some truth to your claims. But, even if this is all true, we don’t have quite anything here that could teleport you back home. I’m sorry I snapped at you, okay? This just all happened so fast. You popped outside the yard seemingly out of nowhere. The name and dyed hair come off like someone trying too hard to be an anime character. I don’t handle people well, okay?” Suddenly, Pinkie’s hair returned to normal, along with her colors. She then put Heather into a big hug.
“Thanks for giving me a chance!”
“Umm... could you not choke me? Personal space please lady!”
“Okey dokey lokey.” Pinkie backed off the hug. “Your dog is named Luna? That’s neat, we have Princess Luna back home.”
“Princesses? I shouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, dad brought this dog to try to get me to warm up to something if not people. Let me tell you, it isn’t working. I haven’t held or even petted this dog once since dad got her a few months ago. She’s a Miniature Pinscher breed.” Pinkie holds out her arms and Luna jumps onto them.
“You should pet her Heather,” Pinkie suggested.
“No thanks, that’s going to take like, a lot of work on my part.”
“And what better time to start than now?”
“You know what? Fine, you probably won’t let this go until I rub the dumb mutt.” Heather does rub the top of Luna’s head. “There, I did it.”
“Didn’t that feel good?”
“No, not really. Just forced. I’m not exactly looking to make friends.”
“Ahh... why not?”
“Because they hurt me. I thought friendship was wonderful, but then, I was betrayed by those who I thought were my friends. I went through days of crying and being an emotional mess, in the middle of school no less. I don’t want to risk that again.”
“You sure there’s no making up? You have me and all the new friends we can make.”
“Really? But I barely know you and if you really are a pony from a magical land, we probably don’t have much in common at all. I also don’t think I can go back to those people and just talk it out and everything will be fine. The fact I still see them in school is enough to make me super nervous and sweaty.”
“That’s where we start. We don’t have to be very alike to be friends. Why, my bestest friends back home are quite so different from each other, especially Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle is probably the smartest pony in all of Equestria. When we first met, she didn’t even believe in friendship. Then a bunch of stuff happened and she’s the Princess of Friendship. She even opened a school to teach friendship.”
“A school to teaching friendship? Good luck finding around here. That’s great, but that’s not Earth. I bet ponies in Equestria all get along super easily and stuff.”
“Not as easily as you might think. We have many conflicts and lessons to learn about each other. And there are some really mean ponies and creatures who we couldn’t reform through friendship.”
“I can picture it now. This being a cartoon filled with moral and friendship lessons. Although if it gone on for multiple seasons, I bet some of you would have to forget what you learned in order to make certain episodes work. Wait... no. I’m curious, how many girls are there compared to boys in Equestria?”
“Quite a lot more. Me and my other five besties are all mares. The ruling ponies like Princess Celestia are all female. I have three sisters but no brothers. Even a lot of background ponies are mares compared to stallions. Although outside of ponies, the other creatures are more likely to be male.”
“So, in order words, a largely female driven society. Which would mean such a cartoon would likely be marketed toward girls, with a lot of pink and pretty dresses. No way that could ever catch on, especially with guys. And if it did, they would have to be secretive about it.”
“You’ll be surprised.”
“What?”
“We’re not as girly as you might think. There’s Rainbow Dash, the coolest, most athletic pony out there.”
“So, a tomboy?”
“She’s not a boy named Tom.”
“I mean a girl with largely boyish traits.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s her. But even Rainbow will wear dresses occasionally.”
“Lemme guess, she’s into girls?”
“Well... her and Applejack may have a thing going on.”
“And this Applejack, also a tomboy? Jack is very much a guy’s name. Oh, that reminds me, we have Apple Jacks Cereal.”
“They made a whole cereal for her?”
“Not quite, no. They’re apple flavored cereal, but, it has nothing to do with the pony. Who are your other besties?”
“There’s Fluttershy...”
“Wow, that name is so on the nose, she’s shy isn’t she?”
“Yup, although she has been coming out of her shell a lot more. She’s really great with animals, which is normally an Earth Pony trait although she’s a pegasus pony.”
“If there’s ponies with wings, then does that mean there are also unicorns?”
“Yup. Rarity is one and so is Twilight, well, used to be one before she became an alicorn.”
“A what?”
“A pony with both wings and a horn.”
“That sounds OP, I mean, if they were like classes in a game, seems like they would have the traits of all the pony species, almost as if they’re a straight up better species.”
“That doesn’t make the rest of us inferior to them, they’re... different.”
“Still sounds like a straight up upgrade. Actually, how many of them are there?”
“Princesses? Well then, females really get a good deal. And I’m guessing Flurry Heart is female as well? Wait, are there any princes?”
“Yeah, but they’re all unicorns.”
“Sounds totally fair. If there’s unicorns, pegasi, and alicorns, then there’s ponies who don’t have wings or a horn?”
“We call them earth ponies, like Applejack and I.”
“If you can’t fly or use magic, then what can you do? Earth ponies sound like they get a raw deal.”
“We’re the strongest ponies and we tend to the earth better than any other ponies. We’re needed to keep up farms and everypony fed. My family works on a rock farm.”
“A rock farm? What?!”
“We even have meals like rock soup.”
“Do I even... never mind.”
“Don’t knock it till you try it.”
“No thanks. I’m guessing you don’t eat meat? Surely don’t have to try that to know you won’t like it. Actually, since you’re a human now, maybe you would.”
“Eating animals? No way, I can’t do it!”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Well, I guess that makes you a vegetarian. Please no superiority complex about how you’re better than us meat eaters. Equestria surely has carnivores and omnivores.”
“Yup, and we even taken more steps to make sure other creatures can live just fine in Ponyville especially since the friendship school is located there.”
“Anyway, you mentioned earlier that Rarity and Rainbow Dash are quite different from each other and that Rarity is a unicorn. What’s she like?”
“She’s a high class fashion pony. If a pony in Ponyville is wearing something, there’s a good chance she made it.”
“Ponies, clothes. I really don’t know either way if you ponies wear clothes as much as humans or hardly any. On that note, I’m glad you shown up in clothes or this whole situation could have been way more awkward with me trying to use my clothes to fit you.”
“Nope, most of the time we don’t wear anything at all, except for special moments.”
“Right, a pony that makes clothes for a mostly naked society. I can see it now. Everything Wrong with Equestria in Many Minutes by Heather Young! I would then add sins for everything I thought was odd in Equestria.”
Heather heard the front door opened. “Heather, I’m home!” Her dad said.
“Pinkie, hide!” Heather commanded.
“Pinkie, who?” Heather’s dad asked. He came into the living room quickly. “Heather, who is this? Did you make a friend at school? I thought the day would never come. Wait, she looks older than you, what’s going on?”
Heather took a moment to figure out how to explain the situation, “Well, you see, I found, I mean Luna found her out in the yard earlier, seemingly passed out in the snow...” Pinkie then took over with fast words.
“Hi Mr. Young, I’m Pinkie Pie, the most fun loving, party planning pony, well, now human, you’ll ever meet! I’m from Ponyville in Equestria, but it looks like that isn’t around here, in fact, I’m not even in the same world anymore. So before I ended up here, I decided to help one of my besties, Twilight Sparkle, with a teleportation machine. I sneezed at the last possible moment before the machine worked and I teleported all the way here, completely off course from Canterlot.” The father looked dumbfounded for a few seconds, realizing Pinkie didn’t pause for a breath.
“Don’t you need to catch a breath? Mr. Young sounds so formal, just call me Logan. I must say, you have quite a wild story. Quite frankly, it sounds nearly impossible as well.”
“Dad! While she hasn’t proven these claims to be true, she’s certainly not a normal human being. Why, when she was crying when I treated her as crazy, her hair deflated like a balloon, became straight, and her skin and hair lost some of its color. Then I apologized and they reverted. Maybe she’s a good illusionist. Funny. I mentioned earlier we don’t have magic like Equestria does, but people pretending to do magic on Earth.”
“Heather, I need some along time with Pinkie.”
“Alright, fine.” Heather replied.
“Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie then followed Logan upstairs, while still bouncing on all fours. Heather thought about that for a few seconds before going back to her Switch. Oh yeah, I left this on the whole time. Well, it’s going to be hard to just get back to this without thinking about Pinkie. How can she be a pony, but somehow turned into a human upon coming to Earth? How is this even possible? At least with dad, I’m hopefully not alone with this madness and that makes this whole thing somewhat more creditable.
Upstairs, Pinkie and Logan set on his bed. “Normally I would be quite upset about Heather just letting anyone in, but you don’t seem intent on causing harm. My daughter is very much a shut in these days. Mostly spends her time in front of her computer and Switch. She refuses to even entertain the idea of meeting new people, yet alone making friends. She’s really depressed, and I don’t know what to do. I tried to get her to meet more people, but she pushes them away. I even got her a dog, Luna, but I mostly end up taking care of the dog myself and she seems really annoyed by Luna being here. Maybe you’re meant to be here, although coming out of what sounds like a little girl’s cartoon is quite out there, but there’s many mysteries and things we can’t explain on Earth and beyond.
“I think you might be able to help break Heather out of her shell. She thinks being a loner for the rest of her life is best for her and that people can’t be anything but annoyances, but I know that isn’t true. If I could afford it, she would be in therapy.”
“Sounds like a friendship problem Mr. Young, I mean, Logan. Consider me on it! If dragons, of all creatures, can get along with ponies, I’m sure humans can’t be that bad. I can whip up a party and I’m sure Heather will love it!”
“It’s been close to a year since Heather last had a party. She flat out didn’t want to attend any family parties and didn’t even want her own birthday party last year.”
“I can have a party up and running easily! I just need Sugarcube Corner... wait, that’s not here. I can probably get a party going with what you have here.”
“Ever since she had a breakup with two childhood friends, I hardly seen her happy. I fear this is going to really cause problems going forward in her life. But I refuse to give up on her. She’s doing great with her grades, but she’s starting to have more conflicts with students. At this rate, I might have to pull her out of school entirely so she can get homeschooled and later on, her GED.
“You know what? I really shouldn’t trouble you so much with my own family drama. I haven’t even really considered that you probably don’t even want to be here, especially if you got teleported away from your friends and family back home.”
“Knowing my friends, nearly all of Ponyville and beyond back home, I’m sure they’ll find me.”
“We don’t have magic or technology like teleporting anywhere on Earth. As for when that technology becomes possible, I’ll give it some decades. Also, I’m not exactly running a shelter service here. Ah yes, if you’re going to stay here for any length of time, well, you’re going to need a job. You’re an adult, right?” Pinkie nodded. “It’ll also pay your dues for being here because I can’t just magically get extra money to house a third person living here, even as much as I think you’ll be a positive influence in our lives.
“And another thing. You can’t go bouncing around on all fours like this. Humans don’t move like that. We walk on our two legs. Hair dying, especially for women, seems to be a popular trend these days, so your hair looking like that shouldn’t draw much attention.”
“Don’t worry Logan, I’m on the case! Heather will be smiling and praising friendships sooner than you think! Twilight, when she first came to Ponyville, was like ‘no Pinkie, friendships are dumb and lame’ and later that night after we dealt with Nightmare Moon, she opened up to friendship. Then we had a bunch of friendship lessons, saved Equestria at least a dozen times, and now she runs her own friendship school as the Princess of Friendship.”
“Good thing I’m used to fast talking people to keep up. I suppose the universe is big enough that something would have come visit us by now and what you call magic is another form of science that us humans don’t understand. It’s dinner time soon. So, what do you eat, hay and grass?”
“I get the idea. Wait, rocks? Never mind. Look, I’ll get some fast food soon. I’ll buy you a vegan salad. I don’t know if despite your new body, you’ll want to eat meat.”
“Salad sounds fine, but later on, I’ll make all kinds of treats!”
“We don’t have much in the way of stuff to make that, but, a shopping trip will take care of that. Oh, right. You’ll need some kind of ID to apply for jobs. This is awkward. We can’t very well say you came from a fantasy land and transformed from a magical talking pony into a human. People will think I gone mad.
“I was going to prepare a TV dinner, but since I already mentioned what I’m doing, I’m going to get ready to go soon. I want you to come with me so I can help you get a bit of a layout of the city. Do you have cars back in Equestria? How would a pony even drive one without hands?”
“We have carts pulled by ponies, but you only really see that in Manehattan. Trains used to be pulled by ponies. They must have been so strong, like multiple Big Macs put together. But now all the trains run on engines. We also have carts that can drive with some goofy engineering. I even saw an Applewood Derby where foals would team up with an adult to build a cart. What happened was...”
“So, I guess you won’t be unfamiliar with cars. Sorry, you could probably go on for days about all the things you’ve seen and done in Equestria. Let’s just get ready to go. I’m already thinking about all the busy work. There’s a guest room, but no bed, so you’ll have to sleep on the couch. There’s two bathrooms so that should be fine. As for clothes, I hope you brought some because otherwise, there’s shopping to be done. And I’m guessing you didn’t bring any American dollars with you. You’re almost the same size as my daughter, but I rather not you two share clothes, I doubt she would want too anyway.”
“Sounds like you need a checklist. Twilight is super at those. She makes checklists for her checklists for her checklists.”
“Geez, talk about being crazy prepared. Anyway, head back downstairs to Heather. I’m switching out of this construction uniform.” Pinkie bounced on all fours downstairs. Heather noticed Pinkie come in.
“Ugh, I hope dad teaches you how to walk. How do you even have the energy to bounce like that? Lemme guess, infinite stamina cheat?”
“Lots of sugar, sweets, and laugher.”
“Laugher? How does that even... I’ll be asking questions all day at this rate. Lemme guess, my dad put you up to teaching me the ‘virtues’ of friendship. Like I said, been there, done that, no.”
“But you probably never had a friend like me!”
“No I haven’t, but that’s not a good selling point.”
“I won’t treat you like how you’ve been treated before.”
“You know what? Fine, I’ll entertain this idea, but when I get tired of this, I’m back to being a loner. Totally random, but if there were like a worldwide pandemic and we had to keep away from each other, I would be so ready. My time to shine would come! I would... just keep staying away from people. Hopefully such a thing would mean no having to go to school either. I’m not saying this because I want people to get hurt or anything, but because... actually, I really don’t know. But surely that can’t happen in our lifetime, right? How crazy would that be? Oh yeah, I’m talking to a pony turned human. I’m not bringing you up at school and if I do, it won’t be anything about Equestria.”
“You’re giving friendship a chance and that’s what counts. I once helped a donkey named Cranky get back together with his special friend, now wife. He was so annoyed with me before hoof, but in the end, it all worked out.”
“I really hope you don’t plan on nagging me till that somehow makes me friends with you.”
“I wouldn’t possibly do that to you silly Billy.”
“You already are. I still don’t know what to make of this whole situation. This is the kind of thing that just simply really doesn’t happen on Earth. We can explain nearly everything with science and if we don’t know, we try to find out, or just claim it’s beyond our understanding.” At that moment, Logan came downstairs, dressed in more casual clothes, which included a sweeter and coat for the temperature outside.
“Heather, I’m going out to get some something for dinner.”
“Yes! No lame TV dinner today!”
“And Pinkie is coming with me so I can show her what’s on the route. You know what? Let’s try practice walking Pinkie. First, stand on your two legs.” Pinkie managed to do so just fine.
“I have stood up at times, I’m not completely new to this.”
“Now, put one leg front... wait, clearly you know how to walk on four legs, I don’t have to explain this to you like you’re five. Use your arms to balance out if you have trouble walking.” Pinkie walked and had a few moments she nearly fell over, spinning and flailing her arms around in place.
“Hey, careful! Don’t hit the TV!” Heather said. A few minutes later, Pinkie finally walked normally.
“That’s great!” Logan praised. “I have a spare coat for you, it’ll be oversized since it was meant for me, but it’s cold out there and I doubt you have any warmer clothes. It’s time for us to go. See you later Heather.”
“Sure thing, later dad, later Pinkie.” Pinkie ended up bouncing her way out of the room. Heather took a glance at this, but didn’t say anything more.
“Finally, some peace, just me and you Luna. Why should I warm up to you anyway? It’s not like you even understand what I’m saying beyond your name, right? But at least I’m not talking to myself, so I can act like speaking to you is me talking to someone that’s a good listener. And yet, I can’t bring myself to be as annoyed with you as usual. Does Pinkie had some kind of positivity aura that’s rubbing off of me? I would say that sounds stupid, but, look at what we’re dealing with. If her pony friends accidentally teleported her here, maybe they can somehow reverse it and bring her back home. But then that would mean I could also visit this Equestria.
“If Pinkie became a human upon coming here, surely I’ll become a pony upon entering Equestria. What type of pony would I be? An alicorn would be pretty sweet, but, like no way that’s happening, I guess I’m not important enough or whatever. Earth pony sounds the most boring by far, I don’t want to farm. The strength might be nice, but that’s hardly going to help me play video games. Do they even have those in Equestria?
“Pegasus might be pretty cool, flying and all, but I’m scared of heights. And surely flight must come with a bunch of problems like crashing. Crash, Rainbow Crash, wow, that sounds funny. Wait, that would be something bullies would call Rainbow Dash. I doubt I’m so creative that no one over in Equestria came up with Rainbow Crash. I just hope pegasus ponies are really durable. Maybe it’ll be like a cartoon where things that should be lethal like bombs are just a minor inconvenience at worst. I should ask Pinkie.
“Unicorn ponies would probably be my pick. Magic is where its at. People can be strong, people can farm, and people can even fly with technology. But magic? No human can do that. But then how hard would unicorn magic be? Would it be something that really hurts to use like a Green Lantern ring? Maybe it’ll take an insane amount of willpower that I know I don’t have. Wizards are so cool in games and anime. I could be like that anime girl, what’s her name, Megumin? Boom, explode magic! And that’s all I know about that. Maybe Equestria is too peaceful for need of such spells anyway.
“But I’m getting ahead of myself. I doubt I would ever see this Equestria anyway. What if Pinkie is a government project... yeah, I’m not entertaining that. I don’t want to become a conspiracy theorist, no thank you Luna. But this does take the cake for strangest thing to happen in my life.
“I wonder if Pinkie could come to school. Maybe she’s older and thus, has no need for school. Maybe the education system works differently in Equestria? Perhaps they learn practical life skills, not dumb stuff like what happened halfway across the world thousands of years ago or biology formulas. But among the three main species of ponies, surely, they couldn’t go to all the same classes or even same schools. You couldn’t teach an earth pony to fly. We’re not split up like that as humans.
“Are you even listening Luna? Oh of course, in your own little doggy way. Anyway, my throat is starting to get sore.”
Meanwhile, Logan was driving Pinkie to get fast food. They were in his red truck. “I spy something red,” Pinkie said.
“What is it, a stop light?”
“Nope, stop sign.”
“I lost again. I want to focus more on explaining what’s around, while of course, paying attention to the road. So, to our right, is where you go clothes shopping. We’ll probably have to come here later. You know what? I’ll bring Heather along, she can probably help you with that. Get some bonding moments in.”
“No problem, the Element of Laugher is on the case!” Pinkie saluted.
“Okay Private Pinkie Pie.”
Later back home, Heather, Logan, and Pinkie set down at the kitchen table to eat. Pinkie grabbed her bowl of salad and held it up to let it slide down into her mouth, ignoring the silverware entirely. The Youngs jaws dropped. “How did you do that? Humans can’t do that.” Heather stated.
“We have table manners, involving using a spoon, fork, and knife.” Logan added.
“Oh... so that’s what they were for. My way is way faster.”
“This is going to be a long day.” Heather complained.
“I need to get Pinkie Pie some clothes, so you’re coming with.” Logan ordered Heather.
“Ugh, fine, I’ll just bring my Switch on the way. I’m glad you got the OLED model.”
“I’ll help pay for Pinkie’s clothes, but then I want to help her get a job very soon so she can start earning to make up for the extra spending we’ll have to be doing.” The Youngs ate their dinner while Pinkie played with Luna. The dog could not keep up with Pinkie well, especially when Pinkie bounced around, although on two legs this time.
After dinner, the three got ready to leave. “I really don’t like clothes shopping Pinkie, so let’s make this quick.” Heather bagged.
“Well... it might take me awhile to see all the fashions. And then finding the correct size and making sure the price is right.” Pinkie said with a huge grin.
“Right, you naked most of the time ponies wouldn’t know about this subject well aside from Rarity, I guess. And my day just drags on. I’ll help you try to make this quick.” Heather said annoyed, barely even able to focus on her Switch with Pinkie along for the ride.
Heather set in the front seat of the truck while her father drove her and Pinkie to a clothing store. “I don’t care about I Spy Pinkie! I’m trying to enjoy time on my Switch here!” Heather said, annoyed.
“Ahh... but, you’ll never guess what green object I spotted.”
“Grass.”
“Wow, right again, you’re so good at this game.”
“I know, too good to be playing still.”
“Maybe I just need to pick something really hard!”
“No, I’m done playing. Come on, we’re nearly there anyway, just have some patience.”
“But I have a really good one this time!”
“What is it?”
“I spy something white.”
“Clouds?”
“You’re too good at this!” Thankfully for Heather, they arrived at the store before Pinkie could say anything else.
“Alright ladies, I’ll let you two have some alone time so Heather can help Pinkie pick out some clothes. When you’re ready, gimme a call.” Logan explained.
“You got it sir, crystal clear!” Pinkie replied.
“Also, Pinkie,” Heather started, “We’re in public now. How you act is going to reflect on us. So please, no silly stuff or I’ll probably be embarrassed to be seen with you.”
“It can’t be that bad, right? Ponies don’t mind my actions.”
“This isn’t Ponyville with ponies. Human begins are probably not as opened to that kind of stuff, I’m sure not.” Once inside, Logan left to go shopping at a nearby store. Heather pulled out a shopping cart. Pinkie saw it.
“Ohh! That looks like fun!” She separated Heather from the cart and then rode it. “Wheee!”
“Pinkie, no! Only children do that, although you seem to be a child at heart despite being older than me.” Heather face palmed. As if this day couldn’t be any longer already. She thought. Pinkie was getting attention and she seemed to be loving it. Can I go into the mountains away from society forever? “You done yet Pinkie? We’re supposed to be picking out some clothes for you.”
“I don’t know why you’re so grumpy about this, this is fun!”
“But... you know what? Never mind. Just follow me over here so we can get you stuff to wear.” Pinkie settled down enough to stop riding the cart while Heather took control of it again. Over in the women’s clothes, Pinkie put in the cart, numerous skirts, shorts, and t-shirts, all brightly colored. “Pinkie! It’s the middle of winter! These are spring and summer clothes, you’ll get cold outside.”
“But these look so great!”
“You realize us humans don’t have fur, right? I’m trying to stop you from picking out something you’re then going to complain is impractical once the temperature really goes down. We have somewhat over a month before spring is here. Hopefully you’ll be home by then, but in the event you’re still stuck here, then we can pick out these clothes.
“So, let’s get some practical clothes. Sweaters, full length pants, that kind of thing.” A few minutes later, the ladies picked out some clothes.
“Ohh, I really like this sweater!” Pinkie held out. It contained a picture of Unikitty.
“Of course. You know, you two would probably get along very well.”
“Can I meet her?”
‘No, she’s a fictional character.”
“Ahh...”
“Surely you have those back home.”
“Well, many of them turned out real like Daring Do.”
“Unikitty is from the Lego Movie. Lego is a really popular toy line in which you have building blocks to create all sorts of things. I don’t care for them so much, I rather build stuff in video games.
“Alright, looks like there’s enough clothes to try on. We need to make sure they fit you, of course.” Pinkie began to lift her shirt up before Heather stopped her. “Wait, no! We don’t do that here!”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re humans. You may be used to bouncing naked around Equestria, but us humans really don’t like seeing exposed skin except in certain places. Look, it’s complex, okay? Just make sure you’re always wearing clothes out in public. There is a changing room nearby you can use to change clothes in private. No one will make a fuss and we can be on our way.”
“Okey dokey lokey!” Heather pulled out her cellphone while waiting. Although by the time she got it out of her pocket, Pinkie was already out of the door in a sweater and pants she picked out. “How’s this?”
“How did you change clothes so fast?”
“Talent.”
“Okay then. Well, at least that means we can be done here that much quicker. So, the clothes do fit. Let’s make sure the others do.” A few minutes later of Pinkie trying out the clothes she picked out, Heather directed Pinkie to the pajamas section. “Us humans have multiple clothes for different reasons. We have pajamas meant to be wore at night. I don’t know why we do it. Cultural thing, I guess. But remember, it’s still winter, so pick something to mostly cover you and keep you warm.”
Among the selection of pajamas, Pinkie picked out onesies that featured licensed character designs. “I would say onesies are normally for kids, but, you’re you and these are big enough to fit you. Okay, back to the dressing room.” As before, Pinkie was very quick in changing her outfits for Heather to see. “Alright, we’re almost done here. We need to get you undergarments like socks and... let’s just get this over with, please, I’m embarrassed enough as it is already.”
The last remaining shopping only lasted another few minutes. The ladies went to check out and Heather used the money that her dad loaned her for Pinkie’s shopping. “I’m going to give dad a call.”
“LOGAN!” Pinkie shouted out loud. This drew the attention of everyone nearby, causing Heather to look really embarrassed and annoyed. Nearly everyone nearby looked at Pinkie.
“We don’t use our outdoor voices inside.” Heather told Pinkie, “Hey, err... guys, nothing to see here, let’s just move it along. She’s... from out of town, different mannerisms.”
“But you needed to call dad, right?”
“Yeah, but not like that.” Heather pulled out her cellphone. “I use this to call him.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a cellphone. Right, you probably don’t have something like this back home do you?”
“Nopes.”
“Come to think of it, what is your level of technology? Medieval? Oh yeah, you might not have a frame of reference for that. Tell me, what is your law enforcement like?”
“We have Royal Guards.”
“And what are they armed with?”
“Spears and metal armor.”
“So, I guess it is Medieval level then, although you mentioned trains that are not pony pulled earlier. What else do you have for technology?”
“Dams, hazmat suits, arcade machines, chainsaws, x-rays, helicopters, bass cannons, and telescopes, just to name a few.“
“Okay. So, TVs or computers?”
“Nay.”
“And yet arcade machines. Wow, sounds like the technology in Equestria is just all over the place compared to Earth. No clear human era to fit it into. Anyway, phones are used to call people form long distances. You don’t have to be in the same room as them. You dial them up on a phone and you can talk to them from even halfway across the world.”
“Oh, that sounds so cool! So, you don’t have to shout really loud to hear each other?”
“Nope. Anyway, I’m about to call my dad and let him know to come pick us up.” Heather managed to do that simply enough. Then the ladies headed to the store entrance and met Logan there. They all got in the truck and Logan began driving back.
“So, how was the shopping experience Heather?”
“Annoying. Pinkie rode on the cart, tried to change clothes in the middle of the store, and shouted your name out trying to call you.”
“Give it some time, she really needs to adjust to human society.”
“I’m not sure if I have the patience for that.”
“You’ll like me, yes you will!” Pinkie stated.
“Just shoot me!”
“Why? That would really hurt.”
“A figure of speech. I’m annoyed. Oh look, it’s too dark to play I Spy. I’m just going to pass the time playing on my Switch, okay?”
“Oh, that thing that makes noises and has moving pictures?”
“Well, if you have arcade machines back home, then you’re probably not completely unfamiliar with this.”
“But none that are portable.”
“It’s a video game system from Nintendo. They made several in the past, but this is their latest one. It’s unique in that you can not only play it like a handheld out on the road, but also hook it up to a TV to play like a console game.”
“I’m not sure what all that means, but that sure sounds fancy.”
“It really is. I guess I would have to show you some games on it sometime.”
“Yay!”
“But I just want some peace on the way home. Talk to dad if you must.” Pinkie seemed distracted by the lights around the city during the drive back, being mostly quiet during the ride. Once back home, Logan turned toward the ladies.
“I’ll get the guest room ready for Pinkie to sleep in. Heather, after you’re done showering, help Pinkie get ready for the night.”
“Alright dad. Well, come on Pinkie, let’s get this over with. I have school tomorrow since tonight is just Tuesday. I assume you have some kind of education system like us humans do in which pony children go to school for much of their childhood.”
“Yeah. In Ponyville, there’s the elementary school that the foals go to. I only ever saw a single classroom with a single teacher, Miss Cheerilee.”
“That sounds even more like a cartoon thing. Okay, I’m going into the bathroom. Please try not to touch anything you don’t understand.”
“Sure thing Heather!”
After Heather was out of the shower and into her pajamas, she found Pinkie waiting. “Please tell me you know how to use a bath or shower? I don’t know how much you ponies lived like humans back in Equestria.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t want to be Stinkie Pie.”
“Thank goodness for small stuff. Do all your clothes changing in the bathroom. Bring a towel in too.” After barely blinking, Heather saw Pinkie rush into the bathroom. The shower started to run and Pinkie was singing. How can I possibly live with this girl? Although she’s supposedly an adult, does she even live on her own in Equestria? I’ll ask her. In fact, I have a bunch of questions. Why couldn’t this all be a very lucid dream? Is she singing about friendship in there? Is it too late to get mom to let me move in with her?
Minutes later, Pinkie was out of the bathroom. “Hi Heather, what do you have for nighttime snacks?”
“Chips, ice cream, cookies, and some other stuff. Do tell me you can eat that stuff.”
“Of course, that’s most of my diet.”
“The human body needs actual food to survive. Maybe your pony body can survive just on junk food. But since this is just snack time, it’s fine. But I really don’t want to have to act as a caretaker, okay? Let’s pick something out from the kitchen.” Heather decided to get crackers with a big marshmallow in the middle. Pinkie reached into the cookie jar and ate a few within a couple of seconds. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to your rapid eating speed. I think it’s pretty clear that even if the stuff about Equestria was made up, you’re no normal human. There’s some time left before my bedtime, let’s go to my TV.”
“Before you know it, you’ll warm up to me, and Luna, and other people. I can’t bear to see you miserable.”
“I don’t need saviors in my life. Anyway, let’s watch TV.” Pinkie’s jaw dropped when she saw the TV. She even tried reaching inside. “They’re not literally in the box, just like the arcade machines you have back home. There’s a whole bunch we can watch on there. Sitcoms, sports, news, politics, please have no interest in that, cartoons, movies, and a lot more. We don’t have time for a full movie, I have about half an hour before bed.
“I have so many questions I want to ask you, but I’m a bit tired to really process those. Although I’ll be surprised if you can sit in one place long enough.”
“Humans can sit in front of a screen for a long time?”
“Yeah. In fact, there’s plenty of people who can basically sit in front of a screen all day long, like being on the computer.”
“That’s impressive. But I have too much energy to stay in one place for too long.”
“Of course. Here’s a rare sight, the original Teen Titans cartoon. I don’t have too much more to say, so just watch.” A few minutes into the cartoon, Pinkie really noticed one of the main characters’ voices.
“That Raven sounds really similar to Twilight.”
“Really?”
“But Twilight sounds more upbeat, but I could totally imagine Twilight sounding like her.”
“I guess there’s only so many voices out there, even among magical talking animals. Looking up this show’s voice actors, Raven is voiced by Tara Strong. She voiced a lot of characters. Your other friends probably sound like Earth celebrities, but I don’t think we can tell who till you hear them. In fact, I bet if your other five best friends were voiced for a cartoon based on their lives, there might be a voice actress or two who voices two of the main characters.”
“I could easily pull off a Fluttershy impression.” Pinkie’s hair suddenly shaped into Fluttershy’s mane. “Hi, I’m Fluttershy and I’m the Element of Kindness.” Pinkie said in a more upbeat Fluttershy voice. Then her hair bounced back to its normal shape.
“Okay...”
“And I think Rainbow Dash and Applejack could totally sound close to each other if they tried too.”
“What about Twilight and Rarity?”
“Nah, they sound different enough that both would have trouble sounding like the other without a magical voice change.”
“Come to think of it, I guess this doesn’t really prove much at all aside from your vocal cords being like humans. There’s probably a celebrity I sound very close to as well, but that doesn’t mean I’m a cartoon character.
“Anyway, look at the time. I’m about to get some shut eye. Dad will get you into your guest room bed. Goodnight Pinkie.”
“Goodnight Heather, sweet dreams full of pudding and cupcakes!”
Pinkie cartwheeled out of the room. Logan directed Pinkie to her bed in the guest room and minutes later, Pinkie fell asleep. Heather was taking awhile to sleep and meanwhile, she heard Pinkie snoring. How could anyone befriend such an annoying pony, I mean person, I mean... someone? As much as I don’t like school, at least it’ll be an escape from her. No one will know about her there and I have no reason to bring it up. If her story about a teleporter going haywire is true, then surely those at her home are working on getting her back? Hurry up, I already have a big enough annoyance in my life with Luna. At least the dog is completely believable unlike how my life is suddenly becoming a fantasy. But Pinkie has been really nice to me.
Heather arrived at school. She swore Pinkie was in the corner of her eyes. No matter which way she looked, Pinkie was seemingly always watching. The bell then rung for first period classes. For math, Pinkie was there as the teacher. “Good morning class. Today we’re going to learn the most fun math ever!”
“Excuse me Ms. Pie,” Heather asked, “But where’s the usual teacher?”
“Oh, he called in sick today. Let’s teach fun!” In what seemed like a blur, math class was over. Heather went over to her English class. Once again Pinkie was the sub teacher.
“How did you... what? You were at math, but now here?” Heather questioned.
“I’m watching you, forever.” Much of what Pinkie said was the word fun. As the day progressed, suddenly every student was Pinkie, only saying “fun”. Heather tried to run out of the school, but a Pinkie would block her way each time. “Fun is infinite!” One of them said, with a rather disturbing face that Heather looked away from.
Logan woke Heather up. Due to how quiet it was, Pinkie likely was still sleeping. “Dad? This whole thing has been really confusing and frustrating. Pinkie’s like a cartoon character put into real life. She’s clearly not running on the same standards as us, or most other people for that matter.”
“Yeah, something is really odd about this whole situation. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. I know you’re about hard science and evidence, which is fine. I don’t know what to call it. I don’t want to quite say miracle.”
“Does this mean real wizards are going to start popping up soon? Pinkie must clearly have powers, even if just being really fast at certain tasks. Also, I had a nightmare with her popping up in school and even having a bunch of clones that could only say fun. Freaky. I hope nothing like this actually happens, but considering what’s on the table now, I don’t know what to expect next.”
“It’s going to be an adjustment period for her. She might not be as wild and hyper once she gets used to life on Earth.”
“I’m hoping her friends can teleport her back home before hand and things return to normal. Although now that I mention that Pinkie has been an interesting variable in my life. Not quite one I’m the happiest about, but it has gotten me curious of what seemingly impossible things can happen next.”
“Get ready for school. I’ll help Pinkie get used to being around here. And do try to stay the whole school day instead of me having to pick you up earlier because of a student conflict. I’m going to have my hands full enough with Pinkie Pie.”
“No promises. Of course, I won’t mention Pinkie at school and if I do, it won’t be any of the unusual aspects about her, least I plant yet another target on my back. The students already think I’m out of touch with reality enough.” Heather’s moaning routine went just about her usual. Pinkie was still asleep by the time Heather got on the school bus.
Logan thought about letting Pinkie sleep in, but he had a schedule to maintain, and he had no idea how long she would sleep. He knocked on the guest room door a few times. “Wake up Pinkie.” Seconds later, the guest room door opened.
“Pretty Private Pinkie Pie reporting for duty!” Pinkie said.
“Okay Pinkie. Err... I’ve got a couple of hours before work,” Logan said, “I can cook toast for breakfast. Will that be fine?”
“Positivity.”
“What kind of work did you do back in Equestria? We may be able to find something similar.”
“I work at Sugercube Corner with the Cakes. We make all kinds of sweets.”
“So, a bakery. At least it isn’t some kind of job we simply don’t have on Earth like working magic. I do know a bakery in town ran by an old couple. I rarely go there. I’m not much of a sweets person and neither is Heather. But clearly you are. They’re not hiring, but they may make an exception for you.”
“What’s your job?”
“I do construction work. I love seeing projects come to life. Sure, it takes a long time, but that makes the pay off so worth it. I used to build so many models with LEGO when I was a kid in my spare time. However, this isn’t the safely job. I had a couple of coworkers over the years they got injured, but they recovered not too long after. It’s probably not too different then what you have back home.”
“True!”
“Maybe our societies are not all that different, despite a clear difference in species and certain modern stuff that we have that you don’t. I’m going to toast the toast. Meanwhile, you should change into your day clothes, in private. I have a spare toothbrush you can use.” Pinkie nodded rapidly, at an inhuman speed. “Right...”
By the time the toast was ready, Pinkie rushed into the kitchen to eat them in seemingly a matter of seconds. The glass of orange juice barely lasted a second. “Well then, I’m still getting used to this. Anyway, let’s drive on over to the bakery while I still have time before work.”
They got into the truck and Logan driven enroute. “So, something everyone has in society is an ID. Given the circumstances of you being here, we can’t quite get you an ID the usual way, but I know a guy that knows someone who can. I’ll let them handle that.”
Several minutes later, they arrived at the bakery. “Here’s Sweets 2 Go. They’re closed at this time, but I know they’re still in the building. I’ll ring them up.” Minutes later, Logan and Pinkie entered after the door was opened. “Hello Mary and Anna, this is Pinkie Pie, she’s... from out of town.” Pinkie waved at the elder women.
“Hello! Hmm... smells good in here!”
“Is this what the youth does these days, dye their hair?” Mary asked.
“Don’t be so negative Mary. If it makes her happy, it makes her happy.” Anna replied.
“Anyway, business hasn’t been all that great lately.” Mary continued. “We simply can’t keep up anymore, our bodies are not what they used to be.”
“Mary may be too proud to admit it, but we need help.
“We can storm through this trouble together.”
“You can’t deny what is happening. Pinkie looks beyond excited to help us out.”
“Of course, the youth love our sweets, but they just don’t understand the process of making them. What about you Pinkie?”
“I do!” Pinkie insisted, “The Cakes at Sugarcube Corner can back me up as much.”
“Sugarcube what?” Mary asked.
“Like I said, out of town,” Logan added.
“Right...” Mary said.
“I say we give Pinkie Pie a chance,” Anna said, “She’s literally jumping at the chance.”
“Well, passion doesn’t equal skill,” Mary reminded, “But, okay. Pinkie, there’s still some time before we open. We have simple recipes. Help make those and I may consider you a job.”
“Hip hip hooray!” Pinkie said, “I’m right on it.”
“Anyway, I should get going,” Logan noted, “I’ll come back to pick her up later after I’m on break.” As Logan drove off, Pinkie headed to the backroom.
“This already feels like a touch of home,” Pinkie said. “Although I’ll have to get used to not having a party planning basement.”
“Party planning? You do those too?” Anna asked.
“Oh yeah. I’m practically throwing multiple parties per day.”
“How do you even do that?” Mary asked.
“I’m good.”
“But, the amount of energy, supplies, preparation, that all seems a bit much.”
“Not for me, the best party runner in all of Equestria!”
“Equest... what?”
“Where I came from.”
“Never heard of it. Anyway, here’s your task, get to baking.”
“Right away!” Some time later, the old couple saw the amount of cupcakes Pinkie had baked.
“That’s... wonderful!” Was all Anna could get out.
“How did you do this?” Mary asked, “Are the youth really just that fast these days. You practically got them ready in almost after the time it takes to bake them in the oven.”
“It’s a living.” Pinkie replied.
“Good, can you do a lot more of that?” Anna asked.
“Sure thing!”
Later the day after Heather arrived home, followed by her dad and Pinkie, the pony turned human started cartwheeling around and spreading confetti around. “I got the job I got the job!” Pinkie shouted.
“That’s wonderful!” Heather said, “Which means more spending money!”
“A lot that will go to costs of living,” Logan reminded.
“Right... but maybe we can get some extra stuff every now and then.”
“We need to get Pinkie transportation. She could do something like a Taxi, but, we’ll have to teach her how to use one. Or maybe she can ride that old bicycle that you hardly ride anymore.”
“The bakery is several minutes away by driving. It would take... actually, this is Pinkie we’re talking about, so she might be able to ride really fast or something.”
“That is true. Anyway, I’m going to settle in for now. We need to go grocery shopping in the next few days. I’ll also figure out how to handle dinner for three.” As Logan went upstairs to his room, Heather beckoned Pinkie to come upstairs as well. Once in Heather’s room, she grabbed a piece of drawing paper.
“Pinkie, are you able to draw up what you and your best friends look like in Equestria?”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy!”
“I don’t really have much to draw with. I have some old crayons lying around.” Pinkie used the tip of her hair to grip a crayon. “How are you doing that?”
“Really flexible hair, duh.”
“I don’t think I’m going to get used to your... Pinkie behavior.”
“I haven’t adjusted to fingers yet.”
“Right, you did have hooves your whole life.” A few minutes later, Pinkie had cruelly drawn pictures of what her best friends and herself looked like as ponies, including their names below. “So, ponies just come in any color? And why do all of them have tattoos on their butts?”
“Those are cutie marks on their flanks.”
“Cutie marks? What? Some sort of fashion statement?”
“They’re magical marks that tells what a pony is good at in life.”
“Most of them come in three pictures, except for Twilight and Rainbow. Is this a destiny thing? Are they basically forced to do whatever their cutie mark says? Sounds like quite a damper on free will.”
“It’s not a hard focus on what a pony can do or be. You could probably never guess I’m a baker from my balloons cutie mark.”
“I can only imagine the drama that cutie marks can cause. We have no such things like that on Earth. Rather or not destiny is real depends on who you ask. Science can’t confirm or deny it. But if you ask me, it’s not real. I couldn’t tell you what our meeting is other than a freaky accident as opposite to something planned by the universe. You probably could have just as easily ended up anywhere on Earth. At least it was somewhere safe.”
“You know what I haven’t done since getting here that’s really long overdue?”
“Being less annoying?”
“Parties! I’m going to need to plan multiple parties, like my welcome to Earth party, getting a job party, making new friends party, and I’m a human party, just to name a few.”
“Err...” it took several seconds for Heather to resume. “Sounds like you throw a party for just about anything. Can I not be a part of these? I rather play video games and eat ice cream.”
“I’m hosting most of the parties here. Where would you go silly?”
“Outside in the cold so I may ponder what I’ve done in life to deserve this. And then ponder why I’m suddenly being way less skeptical. Oh wait, I do know why. You.”
“Operation Make Heather Young Happy continues here, hold Luna!” Pinkie forced Heather into holding Luna, of which Heather didn’t recall seeing Luna in her room prior to this interaction. “She’s happy! Don’t you feel good when she’s feeling good?”
“She’s a dog, they’re so easy to make happy.”
“And that’s more than not having her happy, isn’t it?”
“I still hardly care about her. I never wanted a dog. I never even wanted a social life. Last time I tried that, I got burnt, hard. I don’t have friends, not anymore. You think you know people and then, you realize you don’t. They hurt you, betray you, and act like there was never anything between them and you. I’m not sure about how this stuff happens in Equestria, but among us humans on Earth, friendships and relationships are very condition. Of course, everyone has their limits in patience.” Tears started to run down Heather’s face.
“I was friends with two kids since 2nd grade, Trevor and Britney. We found common ground rather quickly in stuff we liked to do like playing outside. We hardly had any problems beyond the usual childish stuff like having trouble sharing and such, but as we grew older, that stuff phased out. We weren’t always in the same class or even the same school, but we were able to easily meet each other outside of school on an almost bi-weekly basis.
“Back then, Trevor was the only one among us to have a PlayStation 3, a video game console. While he wasn’t exactly wealthy, he for sure had more money than Britney and me. We really bonded over video games. However, as we reached our teen years, arguments started to become more common. I swear those two agreed on almost everything, but I felt myself drifting further apart. Interests change, it’s fine, but what isn’t fine is how they started to treat me. They acted like I was defective and broken. You see, I have numerous social troubles, but I don’t know how to fix them. Believe me, I tried, but it’s still hardly working. I noticed those two would spend less and less time with me over the years. It’s like I was becoming unwanted. Or maybe they found new friends to replace me.
“It really came to a head last December. They said I had too many issues and didn’t want to be my friend anymore.” The tears started to cover Heather’s face. “I don’t know what it was. Maybe a love thing? But I never noticed them having feelings for each other. Maybe they thought their new group of friends was all they needed and had no use for someone with social troubles like me. It’s not my fault people are so insufferable. I’m just doing my part to making a living. Wow, I’m telling all of this to someone out of fantasy. And that isn’t the only time I had a falling out with people, but it was by far the worst. I don’t know how to change. In fact, part of me wonders why I should change. I don’t need these people in my life, but, then who do I have? I hardly even have anyone I can talk to you about, especially anyone that would believe even a small amount of stuff I’ve witnessed from you.
“Please Pinkie, I cannot deal with this now. What if I upset you and you decide to not be my friend anymore? You may be so zany, but I bet even you have your limits. I’m not you, okay? I don’t have a personality that can net me friends with all kinds of people. I don’t know how you do it, but I don’t think you can help me.” Heather stopped saying anything for several seconds, before Pinkie put her into a big hug, while Heather still held onto Luna.
“What happened doesn’t have to define the rest of your life. I’m going to help you get along with people again, that’s a Pinkie Promise! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She followed up with a series of strange gestures while letting go of Heather for a moment before hugging her again.
“Okay... I think at this point, my answer to your behaviors is just you’re Pinkie. I would go on about personal space about now, but this feels nice. And your breath smells sweet, for lack of a better word. I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. I really did enjoy having friends and that’s probably what made the lost hurt even more.”
“It’s going to be all right. I considered you my friend around when we met.”
“Well, that was easy.”
“There’s got to be a lot good about Earth and humans. I could learn from you and your father.”
“You’ll learn a lot more from him. He’s nearly fifty, about triple my age.”
“Sure, but I’ll learn about the young experience from you and others.”
“Fair. Look, I’ll try to be less moody, especially with you. But that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly like everything you do like snoring and sudden invasions of personal space. By the way you can let go now.” Pinkie did just that. “I bet you have a ton to talk about with all you probably did back home.”
“Yup yup!”
“Okay. Dad will probably have dinner ready soon. Here’s to a bright rest of the day, and beyond.”
Logan had cooked homemade cheese pizza for dinner. “Don’t get used to this you two,” Logan informed, “If Pinkie is going to be here for a while, we’re going to have more normal sized dinners, even if that means extra TV dinners. And we really need an answer if Pinkie can or wants to consume any meat or fish, or just stick with meals not including those.” Pinkie froze for several seconds. “We could try something small, like a chicken nugget, for this Friday. No pressure if that’s not your thing, but regardless of if you eat it or not, the animal is already gone and not eating the meat isn’t bringing them back.”
After dinner, Heather brought Pinkie into her room. “Alright Pinkie, I’m hoping you won’t, but if you’re going to be here for any real length of time, we need to get you familiarized with life around here.”
“What about all the sweets and fun past times you have?”
“Getting to that.” Heather pulled out her purple cell phone. “This is a cell phone. Most people have one. Just like with your identity cards, you don’t leave the house without it.”
“Like my party cannon?”
“Err... yeah, sure. What does that even do?”
“Shoots confetti. I have it with me.” She went outside of Heather’s room and then returned with her party cannon.
“How did you even... you know what? I’m becoming a broken record.”
“You’re a record? You don’t look broken to me.”
“Figure of speech, meaning repeating myself a lot.” Pinkie then fired the party cannon, spreading confetti all around. “Pinkie! You’re making a mess out of my room! Clean this up!”
“Give it some time, it’ll disappear. You know how much cleaning trouble it saves me because of that?”
“You, with limits? Anyway, cell phones are for way more than just making phone calls. Naturally, I don’t use it for phone calls, well, except to talk to dad. There’s a camera and even video recorder built in and they’re high quality. Professional photographers will still use a dedicated camera, but this works well for most of us. You can even surf the web using this, but we’ll get into that much later, there’s quite a lot to explain about that.”
“You can surf webs?”
“Another figure of speech. You can basically look up all kinds of information on the Internet, the super information highway, and no, it isn’t an actual highway.”
“Sounds fancy enough to be magic.”
“That’s often-what people think when you present them technology they don’t understand. Part of me makes me wonder what you call magic in Equestria is really just a form of science and you guys are way higher tech than us Earthlings.”
“It’s magic alright. Twilight is one of the smartest ponies in all of Equestria and she knows a lot of science.”
“So, there is a difference between the two. It’s been so hard taking all of this in and I haven’t even been to this Equestria. I mentioned before that Earth lacks real magic, although it does have unexplained mysteries and science is far from having all the answers. Now I don’t entirely know what to think after you arrived here.”
“Fun, parties, cupcakes, friends.”
“Fantasy is supposed to be make believe, made up, and you have really shaken things up. To get back on track, we also have computers. Mine is over here.” Heather pointed to her desktop computer that had a tower with glowing lights on the inside.
“Is that a smaller TV?” Pinkie asked about the screen on the desk.
“That’s the monitor, so technically, yes. You can hook up the TV display to the computer. Anyway, computers have all kinds of things you can do on them. Our world is heavily operated by them. There’s apps, or programs, that can do things like word processing, drawing, playing and creating music, and plenty more. It’s something you’re likely to find many people have. Although if not a desktop, what we call this type of computer, then there’s laptops. They’re pretty much smaller computers that you can easily carry around with you and often go on your lap or a table you find. I hardly go out of the house enough aside from school and shopping to bother with having my own laptop.
“See this? It’s a keyboard. I don’t think you ponies could ever operate something like this” The keyboard lighted up several colors over time.
“So colorful!”
“Yeah, fancy gaming keyboards these days like to do that. Most keyboards don’t look like this. Also, this isn’t a super high-end top of the line PC, personal computer, that some people own. We live paycheck by paycheck. I can see why you wouldn’t have something like this back home. There’s no way hooves could manage to use a keyboard, unless it was like really, really big and that could get highly impractical. While we’re on the subject of computers, this over here is a mouse.”
“That doesn’t look like a mouse.”
“It’s just what they call these devices. You move the mouse cursor on the screen to interact with all these different things within the computer. I’ll go into more details later, it really is a lot to take in for someone who hasn’t really witnessed one before.
“Come to think of it, I haven’t really talked to someone nearly this much before since my ex-friends.”
“Progress!” Pinkie fired the party cannon again.
“That kind of noise is going to spook the neighbors! They might think we’re firing something dangerous or that we’re under attack. Maybe in Equestria you don’t have stuff that would signal danger like this, but here, we do.”
“Oh, that’s easy. I can modify it to sound less loud when firing.”
“I would prefer you not fire it at all, but you gotta Pinkie, I guess. My throat is starting to get sore from all this talking, so I’m drinking a bottle of water. I suppose you can use this chance to talk more about your world. So, you and your five best friends are supposed to be really special?” Heather briefly left her room to get that bottle of water and returned.
“We’re the Elements of Harmony holders. Applejack is honesty, Rarity is generosity, Fluttershy is kindness, Rainbow Dash is loyalty, I’m laugher, and Twilight is magic.”
“I can get most of those, but really, laugher? Of course, you would be the one to have such an element. Magic also sounds so different from the rest, but I suppose that means Twilight is extra special, like main character special if she were a fictional character. Between being an alicorn, building a friendship school, and whatever else you haven’t told me yet, Twilight sure seems to get a lot done. Would be nice if destiny chosen me to be awesome, but that’s not a really proven thing on Earth. I’m the main character of my own life, so there’s that.”
Pinkie explained the time that she and her friends took on Nightmare Moon and reverted her back to Princess Luna. “So, she spent a thousand years on the moon? No food, no water, no heat, no entertainment, completely alone, and whatever else? That sounds absolutely horrifying. That’s about ten human lifespans. Well, she’s clearly immortal, I guess that’s an alicorn trait. Geez, your world has dark elements I wouldn’t have expected.”
“Best not to think about how I would have turned out up there.”
“Indeed, and that’s considering if you were also immortal. I think that’s enough tales for today. Oh yeah, I should show you the basement.” Heather shown Pinkie to the basement. “Down here, there’s a gym room. Dad got tired of traveling to the somewhat faraway gym, plus the fees of gym membership. So, he made his own down here. He has been trying to get me to work out lately. I guess since you ponies act largely like humans, you probably already know what this stuff is? Well, how would dumbbells even work? Putting them in your mouth?”
“With our hooves, of course.”
“But how would you get any grip? Or are the dumbbells shaped oddly, like a glove, for hooves to lift them?”
“The same as yours.”
“But hooves couldn’t possibly...”
“Sticky hooves.”
“That would explain a lot and sound less like a handicap to not having fingers. It’s getting harder for me to be surprised anymore just how different you ponies are compared to Earth ponies, I mean, ponies on Earth. Anyway, I should show you how one of these machines work. Here’s the bench press. You’ll want to have a spotter before using this, basically to make sure the person using this won’t get hurt. That spotter will be you. Now pay attention.” Heather set down and got into position to lift the weights. She had it set to forty pounds. She struggled to lift a few times before stopping. “Okay... I’m not exactly in shape, but, you get what I mean, right? Good, now let’s switch positions.” As Heather got up to let Pinkie take her place, she swore Pinkie performed a movement so fast, she couldn’t determine what happened. Once Pinkie got in position, she managed to lift all the weights rather easily. “Pinkie! Did you really just set this to three hundred pounds? That’s really dangerous! How are you even doing this so easily?”
“Earth pony strength. If you think I’m strong, you should see Applejack. But even she’s not as strong as her brother, Big Mac, who can pull entire houses and is one of the strongest ponies in all of Equestria.”
“Wow, I guess this isn’t a totally Pinkie answer of just roll with it. At least the males get something if none have been alicorns. It does seem like all your powers and abilities transferred into your human form. I didn’t expect you to be so strong form the looks of it. From the pictures you drew, you all have the same body shape, although Twilight looked slightly bigger.”
“Big Mac is as his name implies, really big, duh.”
“Would muscles even show up on a pony? Seems like I can’t tell how strong a pony is by looking at them. It’s not like with humans where you can tell someone is jacked.”
“There’s Bulk Biceps.”
“Must be quite the strong Earth pony in that case.”
“He’s actually a pegasus with tiny wings and yes, he can fly, with a lot of effort.”
“Well then, I guess your world is full of surprises. On that note, how do the wings lift ponies? Wouldn’t they be too small to do so?”
“Pegasus magic. They can walk on clouds as well. Unicorns can cast a cloud walking spell, but I only seen Twilight and Starlight Glimmer do that.”
“Hard for me to not think unicorns might be overall more powerful than earth ponies and pegasi. There I go again. I would be the biggest critic of your society ever if I ended up there, like if we switched places.” After Pinkie put the weights down, she ran upstairs at a speed that Heather thought was instant. Right, don’t question her. She’s clearly not limited by the same laws of physics that us mere humans are. Heather thought. She went upstairs to discover balloons, sweets, and other things that was the unmistakable sight of a party. Logan and Luna were wearing party hats. Heather’s jaw dropped, although not nearly as much as Pinkie could do even in her human form. “You set up a party?!”
“You do remember who I am don’t you?”
“Err... yeah, I just didn’t think it would be so quick. I don’t know if I should be pleased or upset.”
“I suggest pleased, it’s the way better choice.”
“I haven’t had a party since early last year. Who else is coming?”
“Just you, me, Logan, and Luna.”
“Good, because the last thing I want is a party with a bunch of strangers or people I don’t like anymore. I don’t like surprises.”
“I was told to start small, so I plan on throwing even bigger parties later on.”
“I know you said you had other parties planned, but can we just keep this on the down low?”
“You know what’s better than a party of four? A party of five. And even better than that? A party of six.”
“Anyway, no time like the present like this party going on right now. I rather not do something like dancing, that’ll be embarrassing. Considering the silly things you do already, I’m sure your dancing will be no exception.” And right on cue, Pinkie managed to spin on her head like a top. “Just about what I expected.” Once Pinkie got up, she grabbed Heather’s hands. “Pinkie!”
“Just follow me lead, you won’t make a fool of yourself because I won’t judge you.”
“But dad is right here. Not like you’re giving me much of a choice, are you? Figures.” Heather tried to mimic Pinkie’s movements, which mainly involved her hopping on one leg off the ground. Logan was smiling but didn’t say anything.
After another few minutes of dancing, Heather smiled, but then quickly tried to hide it. “I know what I saw Heather,” Pinkie admired, “That smile doesn’t lie.”
“I was err... oh fine, I’m not totally against this now.”
“Heather Young moving on up in the world!” After the dancing stopped, Heather set down to eat cookies and cream topping cupcakes.
“How did you know these are my favorite?”
“I simply asked your dad.”
“Right, no weird spying thing or whatever. I sometimes overlook the mundane things you do because I expect something unexpected.” Heather finished her cupcakes. “These are the best cupcakes I ever had! I mean, I admit, I didn’t have that many, but this is top tier!”
“I’m something of a professional baker and party planner.”
“I believe it. Sweets 2 Go is going to bloom with you helping them, especially with your beyond human abilities. Probably not like Ponyville where you compete on a more even playing field. Oh right, Elements of Harmony, saviors of Equestria a dozen times over. And you have me, unremarkable Heather.”
“You’re not unremarkable Heather, you’re special!”
“And so is everyone else. It’s just the thing they tell people to try to cheer them up.”
“Don’t be so down on yourself Heather. You have positive traits; we just need to bring them out. You made more progress today than yesterday. I should throw you a progress party.”
“Err... can we please not have that right away? Most humans don’t have the amount of energy you do. You might be getting me to be happier, but there’s still the issue of other people to deal with, especially a school.”
“I should show up there to handle them, Pinkie style.”
“They’re not going to believe you’re a pony turned human from Equestria, however far that is. Sure too far even for our best telescopes to see.”
“That’s okay, they don’t have to. Just like I don’t need the cutie map to give me a friendship problem to know there’s friendship problems to help you with.”
“I’m wishing more I could visit Equestria. Aside from that whole eternal night thing that Nightmare Moon tried and whatever else other villains probably attempted. At least you and your friends seem to always come through before things get bad for long. Anyway, I’m getting tired.”
“Your smile is great! You should smile more often.”
“Good luck with that. Bring up other people and I might as well wear a frowning mask. That is still next level stuff, compared to how easy it is to please you. Anyway, I’m showering and going to bed.”
The next day on Thursday the 24th, once everyone arrived back home, Logan made an announcement. “Heather and Pinkie, I’m going out of town for the next few days,” Logan began, “I would have gotten one of my brothers to keep track of you Heather, but I feel Pinkie has earned my trust enough.”
“Wait, what?! In just two days?” Heather protested.
“A family emergency came up. You’re nearly eighteen Heather and you have Pinkie here, so you should be fine.”
“But you’re leaving me with her!”
“Yeah, your first real friend in a very long time.”
“We got this sir!” Pinkie confirmed. “I babysat twins before and let me tell you, they were a hoof full and a half.”
“I’m seventeen,” Heather reminded, rolling her eyes.
“She’s in good hooves, I mean hands, with me.”
“Okay, I’m getting prepared, and I’ll be heading out soon. Heather, here’s some extra money for things, like eating out. Holler if you need anymore, within reason.”
“Yes dad, it’ll be fine. I’ll probably be home most of the time and still hardly talk to anyone in school.”
“Just stay out of trouble, okay?” Logan headed upstairs.
“Heather! We’re going to have so much fun, just us two! I mean, not discounting your dad, I would have thrown parties like I did last night if he was around too. But it’s just us girls bonding time together!”
“And that’s the part I rather not deal with. Oh, snap! Luna is going to need taking care of. I never fed her before. Dad always handled that.”
“I won’t let her stave. I’m sure it’s easy to feed a puppy like her.”
“Did you have any experience with pets before?”
“Gummy, a small toothless alligator.”
“That’s not anywhere close to a dog.” Shortly after, Logan came back downstairs.
“I suspect Pinkie might know how to do this already, but I’ll show you both anyway. I’m mainly doing this for Heather. I’m going to go over how to take care of Luna, like how to feed her and tend to her needs while I’m gone. Who knows, this could be a real bonding moment.”
“Not this again.”
“Is this how you want to live the rest of your life, miserable? This is a social world, and some bad experiences need not define who you are.”
“That’s easy to say when you haven’t had friends that betrayed you after close to a decade of friendship.”
“Did you forget what happened with mom? Life happens. Think of how many people who would want to be your friend if you would just put forth an effort. But that also comes with being a lot more positive as a person. This attitude is going to repel people away.”
“Good.”
“I can’t in good faith let my daughter go through her entire life like this. You’re not going to be living with me forever. Mom probably isn’t going to take care of you. I won’t try to get you to sign up for social media accounts, but I also can’t stand to see you like this, stuck in a rut.”
“You’re saying all of this in front of Pinkie.”
“I know, it just happened, okay? Anyway, let’s get to the directions.” After about twenty minutes of showing the two ladies the steps for properly taking care of Luna, Logan headed back upstairs.
“You know what Pinkie?” Heather asked, “There is something we can do to spend time together.”
“Going out on the town? Bowling with your cousins? I know! Throwing parties out on the town while bowling with cousins!”
“No, no, no! Although, actually, I’m really curious to see what really weird way you would go bowling, maybe later. How did you bowl with hooves? Sticky hooves... right, anyway. For now, I got something far better, video games! Remembered when I briefly mentioned the Switch to you a couple of days ago? Well, I think it’s high time I show you how to play. It’s only the greatest form of entertainment ever. You may have magic and stuff in Equestria, but do you have video games, aside from those simple arcade machines?”
“Video games can be more fun than friends, or parties, or parties with friends?”
“For me, absolutely. Now then, let’s deep dive into Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. It’s a racing game and spin off in the super popular Mario franchise. It’s the second highest grossing game franchise ever. Anyway, follow me.” Once in Heather’s room, she shown Pinkie the docked Switch, the game disk, and Switch Pro Controller. “So, to interact with games, you need a controller. Now this isn’t the standard Switch controller, those are Joy-Cons, but we’ll get into those another time. For now, this is what you’ll be using.”
“Oohhh, that’s a lot of buttons.”
“Well, I mean yeah, at first, but it’s not so bad. You have A, B, X, and Y as face buttons, four shoulder buttons, a D-Pad, plus and minus buttons that tend to be for menu stuff, two special functions like the home button, and these two sticks for finer control that can also be pressed down as buttons.” Heather looked to Pinkie to notice her eyes spinning.
“Thankfully you won’t need all these buttons for the game.” She put the disk into the proper slot on the Switch and the game booted up moments later. From the main menu, Heather selected Single Player, Grand Prix mode, and 50cc engine speed. “So, this is the engine class, which affects speed. This is the slowest speed and thus the easiest because it’s harder to fall off course since you have more reaction time, and the AI seems easier. Okay, see all these characters? Yeah, it’s a lot, but who does it look like you want to play as?”
“I like that girl with squad hair with a lot of eye shadow on the bottom left.”
“I thought you would have gone with Peach or Wendy. That’s Inkling Girl. She, along with Inkling Boy, are crossover characters from Splatoon. Said crossovers also including Animal Crossing characters and a version of Link from The Legend of Zelda franchise. Am I losing you again?” She hands Pinkie the controller. “Anyway, once you pick Inkling Girl and her colors, you’ll then have vehicle options. The category can be karts, bikes, or ATVs. The next two options are wheels and a glider. There are stat differences, but just pick whatever you like for now. Use the D-Pad and press A to make your choices.” Once Pinkie did so, the cup selection came up. “Go with the first one, Mushroom Cup.”
Some seconds later, the first race loaded up and did a fly over of Mario Kart Stadium. “Oh wow, I almost forgot to explain the race controls. Hold A to accelerate. You should never let go during a race.” The countdown began and Pinkie’s kart was shaking. When the race started proper, she ended up spinning out. “Oh, whoops. You shouldn’t hold the button during that time unless you can time it right, but that’s my fault. If you hold it around two seconds, you’ll get the starting boost. No matter, you can catch up.” Heather saw that Pinkie was looking at the controller to know where to hold A. “You’ll get used to the controller layout. You really don’t want to look at the controller since you’re not looking at the screen and that can lead to all kinds of mistakes. Okay, you’re picking up speed. Ah, can you hit the pause button? I mean, the plus button.” Pinkie did that. “Okay, turn Smart Steering on. It’ll be a big help for you as you get used to the controls and not needing to look at them anymore. Although this track is fairly simple, it’ll help you not fall off of later tracks.
“Try to touch those item boxes, you’ll get something from them. Then you press either of the left shoulder buttons to use it.” Pinkie managed to pick up a spiny shell. “That’s the infamous blue shell. It’ll fly ahead of the track and hit whoever is in first place.”
“It just hits who’s in first place?”
“And anyone else around. I find it one of the most annoying items in the whole franchise. There’s some small mercy if you can get a Super Horn to get rid of it, but only if you manage to hold onto it considering other items can get rid of it. It’s basically punishing someone for daring to be in the lead. Although it does lead to very tense moments when someone in second place uses it in a one-on-one race.”
Throughout the race, Pinkie managed to finish in third. “Yes!” Heather cheered. “Finally, something you’re not super amazing at! I mean... congrats on getting third place your very first time playing a video game.”
“This is fun!” Pinkie shouted, “I don’t know how we would play these with hooves back home, but I’m such some super brainy pony like Twilight could figure it out.”
“I told you video games are the greatest form of entertainment ever made.” During the next track, Water Park, Pinkie entered an underwater segment.
“Am I going to drown? That wouldn’t be any fun.”
“Not in Mario games. They can breathe underwater forever. No, real humans can’t do that. It’s rather confusing in the Mario games. In the 2D games Mario can breathe underwater, but not in 3D ones unless they’re a spinoff title like this one. Also, the Inklings would not be able to go underwater in their own games, but then they would have been unplayable on some tracks if they kept that trait in this game.”
A bit after Pinkie finished the cup in third place, Logan knocked on the door. “Okay, I’m ready to leave. It looks like Pinkie is having fun playing that. See Heather? You can do this. Pinkie, make sure Heather gets to bed on time, at ten thirty. I know she’ll try to sneak in playing all night without me being home to watch her.”
“Ah man,” Heather complained.
“Take care now.” A few minutes after Logan left, Heather went downstairs. “He didn’t even cook us dinner before leaving. Ah well, guess we’re on our own.”
“We could have a dinner party! Cupcakes, cakes, pies, sweet rolls...”
“I mean actual food.”
“Ahh.”
“I’ll just order a pizza to our home. It’ll take some time. It’s not like a cartoon where it’ll arrive before you even finish your order. Meanwhile I’ll just watch you play more Mario Kart before the pizza gets here.”
Heather managed to keep Pinkie and herself entertained for the rest of the night with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Pinkie ended up making a party out of the gaming session, which mostly involved sweets, balloons, and a lot of confetti. Heather seemed less annoyed by this. “I should introduce you to other games soon like Kirby Star Allies. We have two controllers thanks to the Joycons that come with the console so we can play Mario Kart together.”
Tomorrow, after Pinkie and Heather got home, with Heather being first, she decided to show Pinkie something on her computer. “There’s some really cool stuff I want to show you. The Internet has such great things and awful things, but let’s just focus on the great things. There’s this video sharing site named YouTube where you can find absolutely loads of videos. For now, I want to direct you to something known as a speedrun. Basically, someone tries to beat the game as fast as possible. Here’s one of Super Mario 64.” Pinkie became fixated on the monitor.
“It looks so blocky.”
“Yeah, it’s a game twenty-six years old. The first generation of 3D gaming had really blocky graphics as they couldn’t put many details into the games at all without the old consoles being unable to handle them.” As the speedrun progressed, showing off extremely skilled platforming gameplay, there came the part in which Mario jumped through a floor to reach a door faster. “Here’s my favorite tactic in the speedrun.” Mario ran up the stairs a bit, turned around, and then jumped backwards into the steps several times till he went fast enough to bypass the door. “And then there’s the even better part of it.” Mario left the clock room to enter a room with a long stairway. “Now normally, you can’t go up these stairs without at least seventy stars, but watch as he goes so fast that he bypasses the part that’s supposed to send you back downstairs.” Mario performed that and ended up in the hole at top of the stairs. “That is a BLJ, or backwards long jump. Probably one of the most noteworthy tricks in all of speedrunning. In a nutshell, Mario has no speed limit when going backwards. Therefore, he can go fast enough to break the game’s physics.”
“Physics are a mere suggestion to me.” Pinkie noted as she briefly walked up the wall and onto the ceiling before dropping back down onto her feet.
“That shouldn’t surprise me. Imagine if you could move like Mario does. Maybe you don’t have to imagine. I figured you might like this because you seem to be the sort who would get a real kick out of this. Not that I mean that in a bad way, clearly other people like this and none of us could perform this in real life.”
“That looks like so much fun!” Pinkie suddenly switched to a mock demeanor. “Are you challenging me?”
“Less of a challenge and more of a curiosity. I could show you other speedruns, like for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, in which players do something called a wrong warp to teleport to the end game from the start. Well, that might not be as impressive looking to you since it’s just a warp as opposite to something crazy right on screen.”
Later that night, as Heather was trying to sleep, she heard noises from outside. It sounded like the door was being hit repeatedly. “Pinkie, wake up! Someone is trying to break into the house!”
The next morning in Equestria after Pinkie’s disappearance, Twilight was still reading books. Her half-opened eyes were bloodshot and her mane was sticking out in several places.
“Twilight?” Starlight Glimmer asked with great concern. “Did you sleep at all?” Twilight faced Starlight, with a very forced smile.
“This is all my fault. I have to find Pinkie! Who knows where she can be.”
“Nopony blames you Twilight. It wasn’t your fault she sneezed at the last second.”
“I built this machine. It was supposed to be stable! And now who knows where in Equestria, or beyond, Pinkie is. I sure hope she’s okay and she didn’t end up in some place awful or where a pony can’t survive.”
“Deep breaths Twilight, remember what Cadance taught you.” Twilight performed deep and fast breaths into a paper bag. “Relax, get some sleep. You can’t find Pinkie if you can barely stand.”
“Alright... okay, I’m... fine.” Twilight could barely walk, resulting in Starlight using her magic to levitate Twilight all the way into bed. Starlight then gathered Spike in the castle and ordered him to round up Twilight’s friends. He flew around and a few minutes later, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy arrived in the map room.
“I placed missing Pinkie flyers all around Equestria like Twilight asked,” Rainbow affirmed.
“I do hope Pinkie is okay,” Fluttershy pled.
“We all do darling.” Rarity assured.
“Pinkie is tougher than we sometimes give her credit for, “Applejack expressed. “Why I bet she’s laughin’ danger in the face.”
“She usually has us, but not this time,” Fluttershy reminded.
“Pinkie’s probably already throwing parties wherever she is,” Rainbow said with a brash smile.
“After Twilight gets her sleep and settled, let’s go talk to her.” Fluttershy suggested.
“We done what we could for now,” Applejack mourned, “We still have our jobs and teachin’ to get back to.”
Later that day, Twilight woke up, had afternoon breakfast, and went into her library. She asked Spike to get her friends over. Meanwhile, Twilight searched books on teleportation magic, hoping to find out anything new she might have missed before. Starlight Glimmer entered the room.
“I’m glad you’re well rested Twilight,” she said, “Is there any other way I can help find Pinkie?”
“Go meet with Sunburst. I know he’s already helping, but you two together will probably be better than you both looking without the other. If I can’t find anything here, I’ll check the forbidden wing in Canterlot castle.”
Ten minutes later, Twilight’s friends and Spike returned. Spike suddenly burped out a letter.
“Twilight, it’s from Cadance.” Twilight quickly grabbed the letter in her magic and read it.
“This is bad! They found Pinkie nowhere in or around the Crystal Empire.”
“Or good, because it narrows down how many places are left to search.”
“Good point Spike, but what if we don’t find her in Equestria? And it’ll be all my fault. I had one job, one job!”
“You’re Twilighting again.”
“Right. I still can hardly believe that became a verb. Maybe Pinkie didn’t appear in a place populated by ponies. I can only hope Dragon Lord Ember and others have more luck than we are.”
“We got this Twilight.” Rainbow said, “We saved Equestria dozens of times. Even Starlight Glimmer and the star students at your friendship school helped saved Equestria. When have we ever came up to a problem we can’t solve?”
“But what if a world ending villain threat shows up during this time?” Twilight asked, “Oh no! I just announced to every creature that Pinkie is missing. Any villain can take advantage of that and doom Equestria! I’ve made a big mistake! I wasn’t thinking that at the time!”
“Twilight, it’s okay,” Rarity put a hoof on Twilight’s back. “The other princesses can help if something like that happens again without all of the Elements together.”
“I hope you’re right Rarity,” Twilight pled, “I’m sorry I keep panicking, but this isn’t some friendship problem to solve. I finally learned to become calm in such situations, till this happened. The Cakes will have to run their store without Pinkie’s help. She runs so many parties that Ponyville will decline without them.”
“Deep breaths sugarcube, deep breaths,” Applejack empathized.
“This is hardly like anything I had to solve before.” Twilight blew into a paper bag. “Calming down, calming down. Okay, let’s make another plan. So, we know that Pinkie’s not in the Crystal Empire. The other kingdoms have reported nothing yet. If we can’t find her around here anywhere, than we may have to look to the stars.”
“Do you know how many stars are in the sky?” Rainbow questioned.
“Enough that trial and error of visiting each star would far surpass how long Luna was banished to the moon.”
“I do hope the dear is back in our lives while we’re still young,” Rarity wept.
“Of course. I’ll need to check my teleportation machine again.”
“I have an idea,” Fluttershy suggested. “No pony knows Pinkie better than her closest sister, right?”
“Except maybe her parents,” Applejack supposed, “You think she might know something we don’t?”
“She may understand how Pinkie sneezes. It’s... something to go on.”
“I’ll go get her,” Rainbow was already flying out.
“Actually, allow me,” Twilight stepped in. She teleported away and a few seconds later, teleported back in with Maud Pie. Maud was dizzied. “Sorry about that, I forgot that happens to ponies not used to sudden and unexpected teleportation.” Maud barely heard what Twilight said in her dizzy state, but Maud came to her senses a few seconds later.
“I can confirm Pinkie is alive,” Maud said very sure of herself.
“Really? That’s great!” Twilight praised with a clap.
“We have a psychic link through our senses.”
“The scientist in me wants to know more, but now’s not the time.” Twilight brought Maud to the teleportation machine. “Through a combination of magic and science, this machine is supposed to teleport creatures and objects to coordinates entered into this machine. I didn’t realize it was so fragile but leave it to Pinkie to surprise us. I know this has nothing to do with rocks, but I’m hoping your connection with Pinkie can help.”
“When exactly did she sneeze?”
“One point eighteen seconds before the teleportation happened.”
“And where was she supposed to teleport to?”
“Canterlot castle courtyard.” Twilight then explained the exact direction and distance.
“I can tell you the force of Pinkie normally sneezing.”
“I’m glad you know so much about this, you’ve been a great help! I’ll get Starlight and Sunburst over to help adjust the machine to take this information into consideration. I would ask Star Swirl, but he’s probably working on his own method and this technology would take a while longer to explain to him.” A few seconds later, Twilight spoke up again. “One more thing. We’ll try to set up a portal that allows going to and form. We can try to teleport you close to where Pinkie is, but it’ll take awhile longer to get a two-way portal up. And to say nothing of what could possibly come back through if the portal is left opened for long.”
“I’ll do what’s necessary to get Pinkie back.”
“Of course. It’s going to be awhile to adjust this machine, so I can send you back home now.”
“I’ll pack supplies and bring Boulder along.” Twilight’s horn started to glow. “I rather walk.” Once Maud started walking out, Twilight teleported all the way to Canterlot to round up Starlight and Sunburst, then teleported back to the machine.
“You’re one of the only ponies I know who are smart enough to understand me explaining this machine and how to make very precise adjustments. The other princesses are likely too busy right now.”
The three spent hours preparing the teleportation machine to teleport close to where Pinkie Pie might be. They only stopped once for dinner cooked by Spike. Otherwise, the three ponies came up with theories and other ideas of how the machine malfunctioned.
Later still, Spike entered the room. “Twilight! I got a really important letter.”
“What does it say?”
“It’s from Coco Pommel. She said she found Pinkie Pie in Manehattan.” Twilight had the biggest sign of relief. She wiped her forehead.
“That’s great! Come on, we need to go find Coco and then find Pinkie Pie!” She used her magic to put Spike on her back. She teleported away before either Starlight or Sunburst could say anything.
Pinkie Pie bounced into action as the front door was forced opened by the burglar’s crowbar. Luna started barking, of which the burglar took notice. “Shut up, I’m trying to get in and out. I don’t want to have to hurt anyone.” The burglar complained. Luna bit the burglar’s left angle, getting somewhat of a grip given her small size. He tried shaking her off. Pinkie arrived in the kitchen.
“Hello stranger, what are you doing here this time of night, without an invite?”
“I invited myself! Now get outta the way or else,” he held up his crowbar, “Smack!”
“That’s not very nice mister. Are you here to take what isn’t yours?”
“Just get out of my way before the police get here!” From seeming out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie threw a pie into the burglar’s masked face. She then brought in her party cannon and fired confetti, followed by puddling that caused the burglar to get stuck in place.
“What a shame, we could have been friends, if you wasn’t trying to hurt us.”
“What kind of crazy girl are you?!”
“I’m Pinkie Pie from Equestria.”
“Why did I even bothered asking?”
“Maybe you can make better life choices after your punishment mister.” Police sirens were heard in the distance.
“Let me out!”
“Maybe if you tried eating your way out.”
“I can’t! Man, I thought this would be easy when I saw no truck outside.”
“Lucky you, I’m in a very good mood. You don’t want to see my bad side.”
“Man, whatever! I can’t believe this, I ain’t telling a soul about this!”
“I could throw you a welcome to prison party, but I don’t think they’re taking visitors.” A police officer finally arrived. She took one look at the pudding surrounding the burglar.
“Lemme take care of that.” Pinkie managed to eat all the pudding in a matter of five seconds. Heather was watching from just out of sight around a corner.
“Please officer, take me away! Get me way from this crazy girl!” The burglar pled.
A few minutes later, Heather hugged Pinkie. “Thank you so much! I called 911 as soon as I heard the breaking in, but the cops wouldn’t have gotten here in time to stop the robbery if not for you. I was so scared!”
“What are friends for? I won’t let any masked meanie faces get in-between my friends and me. I would have known even if you didn’t yell. Pinkie Sense.”
“What? Like a Spider Sense?”
“If you mean detecting stuff without my five senses, yes.”
“Ain’t you just full of surprises. I’m going back to sleep. We should go out on the town tomorrow. It’ll be Saturday, the last day before dad gets back home. I have at least a couple of places in mind.”
“Awesome, I can hardly wait, but I will by time traveling one second at a time into the future.”
Heather woke up later than usual, at ten in the morning. As she went to prepare one of the packed breakfasts, she noticed Pinkie watching cartoons on TV. Pinkie hardly sit still. “After I eat and switch out of these pajamas, I’m calling a taxi to pick us up. I know that’s how you’ve been getting around lately. No idea when dad will let me try for my driver’s license.”
“You need a license to get around faster?”
“Well, cars can be complex and quite dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s not like riding a bicycle where you don’t need a license. You know, I bet if you drove, it would be really silly and dangerous.”
“I’m about the laughs, not risking lives.”
“Maybe you won’t be here long enough for that to matter.” Pinkie walked and fed Luna while Heather set at her computer. Some minutes later after Pinkie got back, the taxi arrived. Once the ladies were in, Heather named where she wanted to go.
“I spy something pink.” Pinkie stated.
“I rather not play again, but fine. It’s your hair.”
“I have yet to get you to guess wrong.”
“If you must talk, which it seems like you do, how about more of your adventures back home?”
“There’s the time Fluttershy faced down a dragon.” Pinkie explained the event in details, at least what she was there to witness and what others said about it afterward.
“The shyest and possibly biggest doormat among you six did that?! I guess I should give Fluttershy more credit.”
“Fluttershy is much more arrestive after a lot of friendship lessons.”
“I hope my own growth as a person doesn’t take that long. You know? You’re the only person I consider my friend, at least nowadays. And I know I’m saying that to someone straight out of what sounds like a cartoon.”
“And soon, you’ll make another friend and another one!” The taxi arrived at the destination. The taxi driver either didn’t paid attention to the talk or ignored it. “Ohhh a bowling alley!”
“No, I didn’t bring any cousins along. Just us two on a girls day out! Besides, I need to delay the process before you surpass me in Mario Kart. I’m super curious as to how you go bowling.”
“I’m so excited!” She grabs Heather’s left hand and runs.
“Hey, slow down, I can barely keep up even with holding your hand. Although once we stop, I rather you let go. I don’t want people thinking we’re a couple.”
“Is it because we’re both girls?”
“These days, I doubt anyone here would care. But it’s more so I don’t want the attention or people to wrongly assume we’re something that we’re not. Anyway, before we go bowling, we need to get specialized shoes for the bowling floor.” Once the two got into bowling shoes, Heather set up a game session for them. “Alright, let me give you a taste of how normal people bowl before you do your Pinkie stuff.” Heather rolled the ball slowly down the lane and hit nine pins. “Oh, but of course. Nine pin queen here. I swear one pin just refuses to fall down to deny me a strike.”
Heather rolled again and this time the ball went into the gutter. “Shoot! I so had that!” Once Pinkie’s turn arrived, she rolled the ball and it went into the gutter. “Maybe I have a chance of winning this,” Heather hoped. The ball then suddenly bounced out of the gutter to strike down eight pins, causing a split between the last two. “Me and my big month. I suspect you’ll get the split, I’m curious to see how.” Pinkie rolled again and this time, the ball bounced off one pin to roll into the other. “If this were a competition, I don’t know if your unusual abilities would count as cheating or not.”
“I’m not a cheater, I’m just good.”
“At least you don’t need a good gaming chair for that. It’s my turn again.” Pinkie’s bowling had all kinds of things happening, like a ball changing speed mid roll, swirling around, and bouncing up and down. This started to gain the attention of other people.
“Oh no, not this much attention!” Heather worried, “I suppose I should have seen this coming. Hopefully they’ll focus on you and not noticed me. At this rate I might just drop myself out so I’m not taking attention away from you. It’s not like I’m doing anything noteworthy with my rolling unlike you.”
“Don’t be shy, maybe you’ll meet someone who’ll want to be your friend.”
“No thanks. Besides, many of the people here are adults and we’re like in very different leagues in terms of interests and hobbies. Not quite enough to form a friendship.”
“You’ll be surprised. I shall turn this into a party!” Pinkie somehow pulled her party cannon out from behind a table. “But how did you even bring that in... right, don’t question your Pinkieness.” With one shot from the party cannon, banners were set up for the party. Another shot set up cupcakes across the tables.
“The bowling party is underway. Let’s have fun everyone!” Pinkie announced. Heather was glad to go mostly unnoticed during the party while Pinkie took up most of the attention. When asked where she was from, she answered Equestria, although no one else seemed to believe that.
“Pinkie, let’s get out of here. I think that’s enough time here.” Pinkie followed up with a frown. “I know another place we can go. The taxi shall be on its way.”
Half an hour later, the two arrived at an arcade. “This place is awesome! They have video games, but unlike the ones back home, they have specialized machines for each one with controls custom suited for the games. I want to show you one game in particular.” Heather pointed to an arcade machine with a dance pad. “This is Dance Dance Revolution. A song plays and arrows will slide on screen. When the arrows are close enough, you press the correct direction on the dance pod. I’m awful at it, but you’ll probably do well.”
“Sounds fun, let’s go!” Heather put coins into the machine and watched as Pinkie got on the pad, then selected the highest difficulty. “Pinkie, you haven’t played before!” As the notes appeared onscreen, Pinkie performed some very fast leg work to hit every note without missing a single one. The number of notes on screen got progressively higher as Pinkie shown no signs of slowing down. Although Heather expected this, her jaw still dropped at seeing this being a reality. Like with her bowling, Pinkie’s dancing drew a crowd. Although this time, Heather wasn’t so clearly with Pinkie the same way like at the bowling alley.
“Who is this chick?!”
“This pink girl has got the groove!”
“I wish I could play like that!”
“I’m recording this and putting it on YouTube.”
“She must be the life at parties.” Were just some of the comments Heather overheard. Oh no, Pinkie is probably going to get popular. This is going to make it so much harder for me to stay out of the spotlight. Heather feared. A stranger asked Pinkie who she was.
“I’m Pinkie Pie, professional party planning person.” Once Pinkie was done dancing, she ended up spinning over to Heather. The crowd were all focused on Pinkie. “Sometimes it’s like I never left home or became a human.”
“Let’s not stay here much longer. If you become famous, people will keep coming.”
“The more the merrier for bigger, funnier parties!”
“And a nightmare for me. I know I came out with you on the town to see how you would be, but I should have known you would probably become the talk of the town in short time. It could take a bit before the taxi gets here. I want to go someplace fancier than fast food to eat. You can probably order a salad.”
Among the crowd was a young woman, who appeared to be around Heather’s age, spotting long blonde hair. “Oh, hey Pinkie, friend of yours? If she’s with you, she probably has something special about her going on.”
“She’s my first human friend. She handles crowds better than Fluttershy when I first met her, but Heather is making new friends.”
“Pinkie!” Heather yelled.
“It’s cool,” the blonde woman said, “I’m Gracie Miller. There’s not much to do around here other than, yet again, look at the namesake falls of this city. I wished my parents us to New York City or somewhere less dull than here.”
“Err... hi. I’m Heather Young. Pinkie is... not from around here. Oh good, Pinkie’s crowd is shrinking.”
“You have quite an interesting friend. She must really put a lot of effort into her hair.”
“You could say that. Look, I’m not really good at small talk. I tend to find it pointless.”
“That’s okay.”
“Hey Heather,” Pinkie started, “She’s talking to you, why not become friends?”
“It’s not that simple Pinkie. We hardly know each other.”
“Then let’s fix that right now.”
“See what I have to deal with Gracie? I’m just an introvert and Pinkie is probably the biggest extravert that I know of. Other then me braving going outside today, I would rather stay home and play video games. Much easier that way then dealing with the trouble of people.”
“You poor thing.”
“I don’t need pity.”
“I didn’t mean it. Are you by any chance autistic? I’ve been done with high school for a year now. Most of the people you meet there won’t matter once you’re out.”
“I dunno, maybe I am autistic. I’m glad past school, most people I know there won’t be in my life anymore. If I can never see my ex-friends there again, I’ll be happier.”
“You said you played video games, which ones?”
“Games on my Switch. I don’t have a gaming PC so I can’t really do much with games on a normal people computer.”
“I do a lot of PC gaming, but I’m sure I can handle playing on the Switch as well.”
“Sounds like my taxi is here Gracie.”
“Leaving already? You want my number?”
“Fine. I hope you’re not using me just to get to know the suddenly popular Pinkie more.”
“Been there, done that.” Heather and Gracie gave each other’s phone numbers before Pinkie rushed Heather into the taxi.
“It looks like you already made a new friend that isn’t me.” Pinkie praised.
“Can I say I’m friends with her if I only learned a little bit about her?”
“Of course. I made friends who I knew even less.”
“Right... you’re you.” They arrived at the restaurant. Upon entering, they were seated and given a menu. “Okay, so I know this might be really hard for you, but we have to wait for our food. It could take upwards of half an hour or more depending on what we order.”
“That’s fine, I got you to talk to.”
“But I rather... okay, fine. I suppose I could learn more about the stuff you did back home.”
“I actually want to know more about you Heather. You’re my best Earth friend so far!”
“I don’t think I’m exactly a very in-depth person.”
“What would you like to do when you grow up?”
“I haven’t put much thought into it. I figure I’ll just hang out with dad till he forcefully kicks me out. I don’t see myself working. You know how many jobs require talking to people a lot? Those are just a big no for me. And don’t tell me I just need to like people more. You’re very much an exception, but most humans are not you. Well, more like none in terms of what you can do, but I mean like personality wise. And even those ones don’t have unlimited energy.”
“Back home, there’s three fillies named the Cutie Mark Crusaders who are great at helping ponies find their special talents.”
“Fillies, as in little girls?” Pinkie nodded, “I’m not well versed on my horse terminology. Anyway, it’s not like I’m going to get a cutie mark that tells me what to do. I haven’t thought much beyond just getting this final year of school over with. Near the end of June, this will all be over for me. I have no ideas for what to major in college, if I even go at all.”
“Have you considered a special somebody? Ohhh! Is there a boy you want to go out with?”
“Nope.”
“Ohhh, ohhh! A special girl! Boy or girl, it’s perfectly okay with me.” Heather blushed.
“No, not a girl either. You know what? I’m not entirely sure. At least if I got with a girl, I don’t have to worry about children. Wait, no! She might want to adopt. Better yet, I get with no one at all, then I don’t have to carry that weight with me.” The waitress came over to handle the orders. Heather ordered chicken tenders and fries, with a soda, while Pinkie ordered a salad with a cup of water.
“Where’s your mother?”
“That’s a bit of a long story. Her and dad broke up years ago. Neither of them will directly tell me, but I think she left because of me. She couldn’t deal with the stress of raising me and I guess dad wasn’t enough for her to stay. Come to think of it, that’s another betrayal in my life. I know I can’t be the worst person ever for so many people to be repealed by me. And I suppose it’s only a matter of time before dad completely loses his patience with me. Once I turn eighteen in late April, he can kick me out of the house and there’s nothing I can do about it. I would get child support payment for another three years, but then I’m completely on my own after that.”
“Don’t be so negative Heather. Things can and will get better because I’m here!”
“Who knows for how long. Look, you got your life back home to get to. I’m sure Twilight or whoever is using magic to bring you back. You know, I don’t really have much of a life here. What if I were to come back to Equestria with you?”
“You have dad, Luna, and Gracie.”
“Of whom I barely know.”
“For now.”
“Equestria sounds really great form what you told me. Some days ago, I would have believed none of it. And I know it’s a huge leap of faith to believe something like that is really out there, even with the clearly impossible things you’ve been capable of doing. Makes me wonder if any of your other friends came over, if they could fly or cast spells.”
“I’ll ask Twilight if she can set up a portal between our worlds. Then we can always meet each other again.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. There are bad people, way worse than that burglar who tried to break in my home last night. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to tell you humans are awful and the worst species ever, but I’m glad you’re ignorant to human history. Hmm... actually, maybe ponies from Equestria could make humans kinder. It’s a long shot.”
The ladies got their food. Pinkie finished her food in several seconds while Heather took close to twenty minutes to finish her meal. “I can barely focus on talking and eating at the same time. Not my fault you treat food like something to speedrun through. Anyway, our next stop is home. Dad should hopefully be back home tomorrow.”
Upon arriving home, Heather noticed Luna fed herself extra dog food. “Luna, how? Hey, I’m talking to you!” Luna turned to smile at Heather and then raised a paw to wave at her. “You never done that before, what gives?” Luna raised a paw to her head. “What?”
Twilight, Spike, and Coco found Pinkie Pie inside a store. Twilight ran in to hug her. “Oh my gosh Pinkie, I’m so glad to see you. Although my calculations put you at appearing much, much further outside of Equestria. But I’m glad my math is wrong because I’m seeing you again.”
“Why would you be worried about me not being in Equestria?” Pinkie looked genuinely confused.
“Because you sneezed the last second before my teleportation machine did its magic and we couldn’t find you for almost a couple of days.”
“Ah... right.”
“So many creatures were looking for you and I didn’t even sleep the day you went missing.”
“When did you get wings? They’re very cool!”
“What? I’ve been an alicorn for a long time.”
“Really? Awesome!”
“Did the teleportation affect your memory? It shouldn’t have, unless somehow the teleportation was incomplete, and your full memories didn’t teleport with you. Although that hardly makes sense.”
“Silly Twilight, always the scientist in you trying to figure things out.”
“I’m ready to teleport us back home.”
“I see Spike has wings too. They grow up so fast.”
“And with good timing too,” Spike smirked.
“Actually, change of plans,” Twilight announced, “Does any of the following ring a bell? Nightmare Moon? Changelings? King Sombra? Lord Tirek? Starlight Glimmer? School of Friendship?”
“Beyond King Sombra, nothing else rings a bell.”
“That might put your last memories at... hmm... Pinkie?”
“Yes Twilight?”
“I’ll be right back, I’ll bring Maud Pie.” Within the course of twenty seconds, Twilight teleported away and teleported back with Maud Pie. “I’m so sorry for teleporting you again Maud, but this is important.”
“Why hello Maud!” Pinkie hugged Maud.
“You’re not Pinkie.” Maud flatly said.
“Ahhh... how could you say that? We’re sisters!”
“You do not have the psychic link that I share with my sister.”
“Come on Maud, that silly thing? I’m right here! All Pinkie! Same pink, same eyes, same cutie mark, same Pinkie”
“What?!” Twilight snapped, “You’re a Changeling!”
“Actually Twilight,” Spike offered, “You remember the mirror pool copies of Pinkie? She might be one.”
“I thought we got rid of all of them. I don’t have a spell to detect shapeshifting, so she very well could be a Changeling, but they’re reformed by now. Although that doesn’t rule out any unreformed Changelings like Queen Chrysalis. Why live out as Pinkie? I could bring another Changeling here to check.” A couple of minutes later, Twilight reappeared with Ocellus.
“She’s not a Changeling,” she confirmed.
“Thank you for your help.” Twilight teleported Ocellus back. “And thank you for your help, Maud. I can teleport you back home.”
“I’ll take the train.”
“Pinkie!”
“Yes Twilight? I’m just about as much Pinkie as you need.”
“No, you’re not.”
“What if you don’t find the real Pinkie? I can be your new Pinkie. Who would even notice?”
“Everypony once word gets out.”
“Let’s let secrets be secrets. Fun, parties, fun, cupcakes, fun, fun!”
“Are you breaking down?”
“Fun is fun, fun times, fun, fun, fun!” At that point, Twilight screamed and shot Pinkie with a spell, making her disappear.
“What did you do Twilight?!” Coco asked, her front hooves to her face.
“I just sent her back to the mirror pool.” Twilight let out another scream afterward.
“Relax Twilight,” Spike conformed, “At least we ruled out any more fake Pinkies.”
“I think I’m good now. Back to doing things the hard way to bring back our actual Pinkie. I’m so glad being an alicorn means I’m not already tired out from all this long-distance teleporting.”
“I’m so sorry Twilight, I thought it was really her,” Coco apologized.
“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known.” Twilight replied.
“This isn’t normal Pinkie,” Heather explained, “Animals don’t just suddenly get smarter like this. And you seem so sure that this is what happened. How? Is it something you did?”
“Well, when I came here, some Equestrian magic might have leaked through. Twilight said it happened to her counterpart’s dog in the Canterlot High world. He suddenly became capable of talking.”
“Oh, wow. If Luna is smart enough to take care of herself now, that’s one less problem for me. This is amazing! Although if she starts talking, that’s going to be so weird. I just hope there are no nasty side effects. I might be able to tolerance her a lot more now. I just can’t deal with dog things like licking, their smell, loud barking, and the messes they like to make. But... if I was at ground zero when you teleported in, does that mean something is going to change about me too?”
“Probably.”
“I’ll be on the lookout for any unusual changes I may go through. And I doubt becoming more friendly with you was part of it. These better be cool changes like being able to cast magic.”
“Let’s not rule out negative side effects like growing a third hand. Actually, that’s even more hands to work with.”
“Here’s hoping not, or something even worse like turning my hands into hooves. I don’t think even sticky hooves will allow me to play video games without a specialized controller and I doubt someone is going to make a controller that only one person can use.”
“Or you could turn into a demon, but you should be fine. Let’s stay positive.”
“Well, I for one would welcome a magical solution to my problems. Luna becoming a smart doggo has already been an improvement. This better not be one of those things that comes with a downside to, quote on quote, balance out the benefit. But your world seems to be built on positivity so hopefully not. Anyway, I’m going to shower and spend some time online.”
Later that night, Heather discovered videos online of what happened earlier in the day. “Pinkie, you gotta see this! They’re just calling you pink hair girl and these videos already have tens of thousands of views. Probably will hit a million by tomorrow.”
“Does that mean I’m popular?”
“Yup. Well, the bowling video is about seventy precent upvotes because many are claiming your bowling moves are fake and part of some shared hoax. But the DDR video is much more positively received since you haven’t done anything impossible in that. This means now people who see you in public might know you as the pink hair girl from the videos. Although you probably wouldn’t mind the fame.”
“I’ll likely love it!”
“We’ll see. Anyway, I’m turning in for the night, dad should be back close to afternoon tomorrow.”
Half an hour before afternoon Sunday morning on the 27th of February, Logan arrived home. “What a time off from work. I’m eager to get back, which I thought I would never say about work. You look like you’re in a good mood Heather. I take it things gone well?”
“Well, you see...” Pinkie then cut off Heather.
“It was awesome! Heather made a new friend and a burglar tried to break into the house and...” Pinkie explained the events that happened while Logan was away from home.
“I’m so thankful I’m used to fast talking,” Logan remarked, “I should have known a lot would happen with you being involved Pinkie. I can hardly believe Luna took care of herself since last night. No telling what this leaked Equestria magic could do to my daughter. Anyway, I’m going to relax for a while since I just got home. I’ll get us a pizza later.”
Back in Heather’s room, her and Pinkie were not quite playing video games or using the computer yet. “Hey Pinkie, do you have a boyfriend or ever fell in love?”
“Nope, not yet.”
“What about your friends?”
“They mostly don’t talk about that. Rarity did try to woe Prince Blueblood, but he turned out to be a big meanie face. Fluttershy would probably never make the first move despite how much more assertive she is now. Applejack is married to her job.”
“I don’t think I know what romantic love is or why I’m even asking now. Well, I think it’s because you’re the first friend I made in a long time, hence, me wanting to explore topics I otherwise wouldn’t have. But then you’re also one of the only people I talk to aside from dad and a few people at school. It’s been lonely for me, but I’m also so afraid of putting myself out there, least I get hurt yet again.” Pinkie put Heather into a very tight hug. “Air please.” Pinkie relaxed her grip.
“I’ll say it plenty of times, but I’m all in on helping my friends be happy and I’ll do it the only way I know how, the Pinkie way!” The party cannon fired at that point, seemingly on its own.
“Thanks, I mean that. You could have dismissed me as just another depressed girl who only spreads negativity wherever she goes.”
“I’ve seen passion in you, like when you play video games.”
“I wish I could apply that to other areas of my life. I feel like I’m going to be living with dad into my twenties.”
“Out of my closest friends, Applejack lives with her older brother and grandma. I live with the Cakes and nopony judges us for not living independent. Although I don’t think Applejack is ever moving out of the farm. My sisters live back on the rock farm with our parents also living there.”
“Oh right, you’re the outliner in your family, the only one who doesn’t have a rock color scheme, based on how you described the rest of your family. I don’t think I’m an outliner in my own family. Well, I’m one who doesn’t interact with them much at all to the point I’ll have trouble remembering their names if I’ve met them again. From what you mentioned of your best friends, earth ponies have the biggest families, followed by unicorns with in-between numbers, and pegasi by far the the lowest. In fact, it sounds like only Rainbow Dash has no siblings at all. And from what I heard of Fluttershy’s brother, no way I ever want to turn out like he has.”
“I could throw all kinds of parties for you meeting new people and making new friends. They may even guide you to knowing what you’re meant to do in life.”
“They don’t all need to be big special events, especially just meeting people. If I were to pick a lover, they would have to meet certain standards. This is the one area I get to be super picky in who I want in my life, although I don’t know if such people exist. Of course, the person must respect me. They must be willing to put up with my flaws. They must be loyal and not backstab me, figurative, when the going gets tough. If I’m being completely honest, they should also be hot. I know that’s pity, but I’m allowed to be! Furthermore, I want to be able to play video games with them, so a gamer love interest for sure.”
“Your special someone is out there.”
“Although I doubt in this dump of a city. There’s like seven billion people in the world. Maybe among them is a perfect match for me, but I don’t have that kind of power to just find this person wherever they may be so I’ll either settle with who I can find in person or online. Doesn’t help how fake people are online.
“You know, I bet magic changes romance in a lot of ways. There’s probably spells to brainwash people into loving you, of which I wouldn’t use, of course. I can only imagine what chaos such a spell would cause.”
“There’s the Want It, Need It spell Twilight knows. One time, she made Ponyville fight over a doll.”
“Now that’s creepy. It’s good that Twilight isn’t evil, considering she seems to be one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. Anyway, I want to learn from you, so I may be prepared to move ahead in my life before you go back home. And when I say learn from you, I don’t mean become like you. I can’t be you because I’m not you.”
“I can teach you so much about fun and friendships.”
“I’ll be opened to at least some of it. I’m just simply not going to be as bubbly and upbeat as you, not even the most positive people can.”
“Have you tried playing music?”
“Yeah, I’m terrible at it. I guess that’s yet another thing you’re good at. You have all these skills and talents while I have... I dunno. Although I guess it’s just as well that cartoon characters, especially Disney princesses, can all break into song. But then it sounds like over in your human world, there’s a seven-girl band that are also all talented at performing. You’re all special, with Twilight being extra special. Despite being the main character of my own life, my autobiography would be so boring.”
“Cheer up silly billy! While I’m here, I won’t let you have a bad day. That’s a Pinkie Promise!”
“Thank you. But it’s not even just that.”
“And I will help you find your special talents.”
“You’re too good for me. I almost don’t deserve it. Seriously, you could have ended up with billions of other people. People more remarkable, more interesting, and with more actual problems to solve. I really couldn’t tell you this is fate thing, as not everything that randomly happens in life must be the will of something greater. So far, the only thing I do better than you is play video games, but you’re already such a quick learner.”
“Let’s turn the negatives into positives. You don’t have to be the best at something or famous to be worthwhile. I thought I would be miserable on the rock farm for my whole life until Rainbow’s Sonic Rainboom changed everything. My cutie mark appeared, my mane became what it is today, and I knew I had to share joy and laugher across Equestria.”
“It must be great to have butt tattoos to make you special. You say cutie marks are not everything, but then you mentioned how you and your best friends, barring Twilight, got your cutie marks switched once and it affected your talents. Then another time, you got equality cutie marks and couldn’t do anything special. Furthermore, the royal sisters once got their cutie marks switched and that changed their powers.
“It’s not so clear cut and dry for us humans. Our world is so much different from yours largely because our society doesn’t operate on magic as there is none.”
“That means you really get to make your own destiny without a cutie mark to set you on a path. That’s so exciting!”
“I suppose the closest thing is having birth marks, but they don’t appear by magic or decide your fate.”
“Let’s try more things. We’re bound to find something you enjoy doing and can profit from.”
“I could become a YouTuber, but that exposes me to the Internet. No thanks. I don’t like to brute force or use a lot of trial and error to find out my special talents. The Cutie Mark Crusaders might have done that, but I rather not. And then it turned out they didn’t need to do all that stuff anyway for their cutie marks. Gaming might be my favorite hobby, but I’m still not super great at them, nor do I know how to make them. I took one look at coding and I just noped completely out of that.”
“Can you draw?”
“Technically yes, but not anything that isn’t really simple. When you call someone by a job title, you expect some degree of mastery. Just because I can poorly draw doesn’t mean I’m going to call myself an artist or people would expect a lot better than I can do.”
“You’re hitting adulthood in April. You might be a late bloomer in talent and that’s okay.”
“I don’t know how dad would feel about that if it means I’m stuck with him for that much longer.”
“Name some positives about yourself.”
“Okay, so, I’m quite outspoken, although I guess that can also get me in trouble.”
“Positives!”
“I’m outspoken and strong in my viewpoints. I will not simply follow what everyone else is doing simply because its popular. I get really good grades in school. The work isn’t that hard. I almost applied for honors, just so I could have more of a challenge, but I don’t want to spend any longer than necessary in school. Although the world is slowly catching up in how to use modern tech like smartphones, I’m ahead of the curve already. I can type around seventy words a minute with little errors. You’re my friend. I’m young and therefore have most of my life still ahead of me.”
“See? You’re doing great Heather!” Pinkie gave her a hug, lifting her off the ground.
“This is nice, but can you let me down now?” Pinkie did so.
“Like how there’s Assertive Fluttershy, we can get Positive Heather.”
“I’m getting pumped! Positivity, let’s do this! I’m worthy! I have a good future ahead, even if I don’t know what that will look like.”
“Don’t forget about your new human friend, Gracie.”
“But I hardly know...”
“No buts. I mean, aside from the one we all have, but no other buts!”
“I will get to know her. I can even show off smart Luna.”
“That’s the spirit! Tomorrow, go into the school like it’s the happiest place you ever been in. You may not have friends there yet, but back home, you’re loved.”
“I can do this! Let’s go!”
The next morning, Heather was getting ready for school. Having looked through the kitchen window, she noticed a set of stairs outside. “Pinkie, how did those stairs get there?”
“I built them myself.”
“With what?”
“Happy thoughts, but mostly wood.”
“And where did said wood come from?”
“In here,” Pinkie pointed to her hair.
“Oh, of course. I bet things larger than your hair fits in there.”
“Of course.”
“What do you even need a staircase for anyway? To get to the roof? But then what would you do up there?”
“Watch.” Heather went outside. She saw Pinkie face the stairs backwards, then she jumped back into them rapidly, till she reached the top and took off in a blur toward a particular direction. Heather stood there for several seconds, watching what just happened.
Did she just perform backwards long jumps in real life? I did sorta expected this after I shown her about it, but I’m still surprised she did it for real. Heather thought.
Barely into afternoon that same day, Logan got a call from Heather. “I can’t do this anymore dad, I don’t want to come back. Pick me up, I’m done with school.”
At school, Heather walked out of the classroom and went to the library. She grabbed a book to give herself something else to focus on before her dad arrived. What is this book even about? No matter, I just want to focus on something else, anything else. Dad is going to be so mad with that call I made.
“Excuse me miss?” A masculine voice asked. Heather looked up. “Are you okay? Your face is almost full of tears. I’m Hanzal, a new exchange student. Can I help?”
“H-H-Heather Young. Just leave me be.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to be left alone, okay?”
“But if you don’t try to...” Hanzal tried to reach out to Heather. Not to touch her, but to show concern.
“Go!” Heather yelled. Hanzal walked away and went back to his own business. Heather briefly looked around, realizing she just yelled in a library, but no one said anything. Sometime later, Logan arrived to pick Heather up. They got in his truck and he started to drive.
“I’m getting wore out Heather!” Logan gave a serious look to her. “I’m this close to just not coming to pick you up anymore.”
“I-I-I can’t take it anymore! I’m beyond tired of school! It’s like all the students are out to get me. I even made a horse neigh sound! T-T-That was so embarrassing! I’m for sure going to be the laughingstock among the student body now.” Heather’s tears came out stronger.
“Didn’t you talk to a teacher about this?”
“I tried, but they hardly do a-a-anything. Plus, the students then call me a snitch and go after me that much harder.”
“You’re going to let a few bullies ruin your future?”
“I don’t need this school!”
“Excuse me?!” Logan raised his voice, “Do you want to become a high school dropout? You know how limited your job options are without a high school diploma? Don’t expect me to pick up the slack from you not working.”
“I don’t need that stupid thing! A GED will work fine.” At this point, Logan pulled the truck over to the side.
“Heather Anna Young! So, help me if you don’t plan on trying to help yourself in life. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. No one is going to pick you up if you fall down, especially once you’re twenty-one, no one owes you anything. No more child support and you’ll be fully treated like an adult.
“What happened to all the positivity you had about going into school today?”
“It didn’t work!” She stressed, “Pinkie doesn’t understand what humans are like. She thinks life is balloons, confetti, and cupcakes. I’m so stupid! I can’t just completely undo my negativity in a day. I really tried being positive and look where it got me. I hate school and I refuse to go back even if you take away everything I have!” Tears nearly covered Heather’s face. “I don’t work well with people, at least not with high school students, okay? No amount of trying to force my square into a circle is going to change that.”
“I need to get you some therapy.” Logan started driving again and then spoke in a calmer voice. “I can’t keep picking you up like this as it cuts into my own work time and income. Take the rest of the week off. We are going to figure something out.”
“How about homeschooling? I’m eighteen in about a couple of months anyway, then I can prepare to take the GED. I heard it’s hard, but haven’t you seen my grades in school? Higher than what most of these terrible students will ever amount to.”
“Even if you ace the GED, it won’t prepare you for working with co-workers or costumers.”
“Neither has school. I don’t want to ever go back!” Heather’s tears started flowing again, “It’s like anytime I try to make things better, they just get worse. Please dad, don’t make me go back there! I can’t handle it without having a mental meltdown. I’m bagging you, please!” Heather was much more noticeably crying at this point.
“Relax, I’m sure Pinkie can cheer you up once we get home. We’re going to figure this out.” Neither of them said anything for the rest of the ride home. Once home, Heather went into her room, still teary eyed. Luna followed her inside and jumped into Heather’s lap. Heather slowly petted Luna with her left hand. She then called Gracie.
“Oh no, you’re crying,” Gracie spoke in a soothing voice like comforting a young child, “What happened Heather?”
“School happened. I hate it and I don’t want to go back!”
“That’s terrible!”
“What, me avoiding school? That’s great!”
“I meant what happened at school.”
“I sounded like a horse at one point. I don’t think the students are ever going to let that down.”
“That’s odd, how could that have happened?” Gracie sounded really curious.
“Okay, so, Pinkie said that a bit of Equestrian magic leaked into our world when she arrived here. Look, I know it all sounds impossible and I thought so too at first. Yet, Pinkie’s abilities are clearly beyond that of any human I know. And then Luna is suddenly a much smarter dog outta nowhere. I think something is happening to me.”
“Does that mean you’re going to turn into a horse?”
“Gosh, I hope not,” Heather said in an almost laughing manner, “Unless I become an unicorn. Although Equestria has ponies instead of horses, so maybe the magic will turn me into a pony. Or maybe a horse still, given the difference between humans and anything over there. It’s so confusing, but I swear I’m going to be more like a horse than even how Pinkie behaves.”
“Do you want me to come over?”
“You’ll do that? Yes, that’ll be great!” Heather sounded hopeful for the first time in hours. “It’ll be some hours before Pinkie is off work.”
“She works?”
“Yeah, at the sweets shop close to my home.”
“Hang in there Heather, I just hate to hear you crying like this.”
Meanwhile over at Sweets 2 Go, the lunch break started. “My wife might not show it much, but we’re beyond thankful for your help Pinkie,” Anna said, “Our profits have skyrocketed and we’re not quite in danger of having to close down anymore.”
“You’re very welcome. We should throw a party today. There’s more than enough sweets ready to handle one.” Pinkie had the biggest grin Anna saw in her long life.
“You’re such a blessing in our life. It’s like you were meant here for us. But then, you also help run a bakery back home. So, you will have to go when the time comes. I can only hope we’ll keep the business going once your home.”
“I might be able to work out something. But even if a two-way portal opens between Earth and Equestria, I can’t help run Sugarcube Corner, be a professor at the friendship school, and work here. Not unless I cloned myself again with the mirror pool, but that led to so many problems I’m surprised I didn’t sing some song about ‘will the real pink pie please stand up’.”
“For the time being, we’ll enjoy your company.” Anna went to the backroom where Mary was.
“This is a big problem. Once Pinkie leaves, our business is as good as done,” Mary worried, barely looking at her wife.
“What makes you say that?”
“People are starting to get used to our much higher level of quality and quantity. Pinkie is almost becoming the face of our business. Once she’s moved on, we’re back to what us couple of old women can keep up with. And people won’t be happy with things going back to how they were. The only reason we can even keep up with the suddenly spike in demand is because Pinkie is almost a one girl crew at this point.” There was some pause before Anna replied as she figured out what to say.
“Well, I guess it is hard to deny Pinkie is quickly becoming the star of our own franchise. But that doesn’t mean we’re forgotten about. We still built this up to where it has gotten. We had this building built. We started this business. You set up the website. I helped with word of mouth. It was our recipes and baking that has lasted us decades. We’ll call Pinkie a temporary employee, like how fast-food joints have limited time specials. I know it’s not quite as comparable, but we’re going to prepare people for things returning to normal once Pinkie goes back home. And who knows, we might even get some other people who’ll want to work for us. None will likely ever be Pinkie levels of productivity, but it will be enough that we’re not going to hit rock bottom.”
“I do hope you’re right Anna,” Mary smiled, “You haven’t changed much since I married you back in 2015, although you changed a lot since we first became a couple in 1993. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve grown to become thankful for Pinkie since she arrived last week, but I just don’t want us to suddenly play second fiddle in our own business.”
“That won’t happen, I promise. We still got some lunch break time left, let’s relax and just focus on the positives.” Anna hugged her wife.
“Thank you for always being there to lift me out of the many holes I fall in. Without you, I would have really been negative for most of my adult life.”
After lunch break, Pinkie finished setting up party decorations in the shop, mainly banners and balloons. For costumers, something became quite clear.
“Is that the pink hair girl from the bowling and DDR videos?”
“So, she’s Pinkie Pie!”
“Oh my gosh! I need to take a selfie with her!”
“You’ve seen it here first, a rising star!”
“Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie!”
Once Pinkie arrived back to Logan’s house, she noticed Heather being very upset. “Ah, what’s wrong Heather?”
“Everything,” Heather said without looking at Pinkie, “No, not everything, but, the most important stuff is wrong. I had dad pick me up from school yet again and I don’t want to go back.”
“Why not? What about your education to become a smarty pants girl?”
“I’ll only have about three months left of school anyway. Not too much more I can learn unless they save some really important stuff for last. I learned so much more online anyway. For tests at school, I just memorize the facts long enough to ace the tests and then forget about what I learned shortly after. But my issue isn’t so much with the education system as it is with the students.
“People came after me again today. At one point, I even made a horse noise and that embarrassed me in front of everyone nearby. Am I changing too, just like Luna? You lived as a pony your whole life and yet I’m starting to act more like a horse than you.”
“Is this a bully problem?” Pinkie questioned, her face reading her being upset. “Because I won’t let anyone do this to my friends.”
“Somewhat.”
“I’ll handle it. You never should have to cry, except tears of joy.” Pinkie explained as Luna barked happy sounds afterward.
“Thank you so much. I sometimes feel like you’re a guardian angel.”
“I think Rarity and Fluttershy are better at that, but don’t let it be said that Pinkie doesn’t stick by her friends.” Heather finally looked up to Pinkie.
“I called Gracie and she came by earlier to help cheer me up. I think we’re really starting to bond. She was really fond of smart Luna. We talked a lot about gaming and some of our personal issues.”
“Despite a few party poopers, you’re making people progress. It’s not all doom and gloom.” Pinkie gave a thumbs up, the first time Heather saw Pinkie do that.
“I wish. I just really don’t want to go back to that school. I swear I’m not just giving up on my future. I can get home schooling. I can get my GED. I have options, darn it!”
“You proven to be a clever girl, I know you’ll figure out a working plan.”
“Thanks Pinkie! But for now, I’m taking the rest of the week off.”
“I’ll go to the school to talk to some people.”
“Well, they’ve likely home by now. Among the people who came after me, my two ex-friends were included.” Heather explained more details including where they lived.
Half an hour later, Pinkie arrived outside of Trevor’s house. She knocked on the door instead of using the doorbell. Several seconds later, Trevor arrived at the door. “Use the doorbell... you’re Pinkie! What are you doing here?”
“I’m here on a friendship problem.”
“What?” Trevor shrugged his arms.
“Heather Young, remember her? Hmm?”
“I can hardly believe she’s friends with you, but I guess you’ll befriend anyone.”
“Why did you unfriend her?” Pinkie carried with her a deep stare, likely into Trevor’s very soul. He could barely look at her afterward.
“What, is that a crime or something? She became more annoying over time, being so self-absorbed with herself. She clearly has issues and I’m out of patience to deal with them. You better not try to force me to befriend her again.”
“I won’t, but she’s upset with you and I want to help her.” Pinkie pointed at Trevor.
“Is it any wonder why I want nothing to do with her anymore?”
“Have you told her why you were mad at her?”
“More like disappointed, but, for the most part, no. I mean, it should have been obvious. Clearly she needs help and I’m not her therapist.”
“That’s mean!” Trevor took a couple of steps back while Pinkie took a couple forward.
“Yeah, so? Cutting her out was a peace of mind.”
“But friendship always finds a way!”
“I don’t care, not with her. Just you wait, she’ll bring you down with her negativity.”
“What about today? What did you do?”
“She made horse noises. What is she on? Someone must tell her the truth, she’s crazy.”
“No, she is not!” Pinkie raised her voice, “She’s going through a rough time, like anyone would upon losing their friends and not being told why.”
“Are you done yet? You don’t seem all stable up there either.”
“You’re calling me crazy?!” Pinkie got right up in Trevor’s face, who then looked very worried. “I might see things differently than most, but that’s what makes me Pinkie and I wouldn’t trade it for anything except my friends. Wait, would I? If you can’t get along with Heather, don’t bother her.”
“Fine, whatever, just back off.” Pinkie did so. “I doubt she’s coming back to school anyway after that outburst earlier today.” Suddenly, Pinkie jumped on the ground three times, each time getting higher till she reached the roof. Then she jumped backwards up the limited slope space till she took off at a high speed. Trevor looked up to see what happened and did a double take.
Meanwhile, Pinkie arrived at Britney’s house. Recalling what Trevor said, Pinkie figured the button near the door was a doorbell. She hit it a few times. Seconds later, a woman opened the door. “Excuse me, who are you?” Pinkie waved.
“I’m Pinkie Pie and I’m looking for Britney.”
“A visitor? I don’t think she knows someone like you, but you seem friendly enough. Don’t make me regret this.” She then faced into the house. “Britney! Someone named Pinkie Pie wants to see you.”
“Wait... that’s... fine, bring her in.” Britney’s mother escorted Pinkie into Britney’s bedroom.
“You’re from the viral videos! Why would you want to see me?” Britney looked shocked.
“You’re one of Heather Young’s ex-friends. You hurt her!”
“Hey, don’t be dropping that on me!” Britney became mad. “I bet she told you how we’re totally awful people and you believe every word of it.”
“I’ve seen the Negative Nancy side of Heather, I don’t think she’s perfect, but she deserves love and respect like anyone else.”
“You don’t get it. She’s the kind who doesn’t even try to help herself. She had plenty of chances and we just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Plenty of chances, huh? Did you tell her?” Pinkie gave a very serious look to Britney.
“For her own sake, usually not. We tried to bring up the smallest things and she would freak out, so we just started to drift away. I tried to be supportive, I really did.”
“What about today? She said a reason she left school today is because of you.”
“We didn’t make her leave. She came in acting like she was all positive, ready to be a well-functioning person again. But she’s not ready and that so-called positivity wave was so fake. Trevor suggested I just cut our losses with her. I hope you can put up with her because we sure can’t.”
“I will!” Pinkie declared, holding a hand to her chest. “I won’t abandon Heather in her time of need. It’s hard to teach her friendship lessons when she’s been burnt so badly by those who she considered her friends before. I want her to be happy and yet, she’s the most upset I’ve ever seen her. She’s skipping school because of mean reactions like yours!” Pinkie looked mad at Britney.
“Never thought I would get preached to by a pink hair girl. You know what? I’ll do my best not to even interact with her anymore, so you don’t make anymore unexpected visits. The school year ends soon anyway. We never have to see each other again.”
“Fine.” Pinkie backed away, “But if you or Trevor make her upset again, I’ll know.”
“What, how?”
“I’ll know!”
“That didn’t answer the question. Creepy.”
“Be good now, b-bye!” Pinkie then cartwheeled out of the house, wall jumped between Britney’s and another house, and backwards long jumped away.
Pinkie arrived to see Heather looking somewhat better. For the moment, she was not actively crying anymore. “It’s okay Heather. I think those two will leave you alone for now.”
“I’m... really impressed you did all of this for me. I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to be the big Positive Heather moving forward. I’m not going to give up.”
“That’s the spirit! It takes more than one pep talk or friendship lesson to overcome great struggles. It took Fluttershy so long before she became a lot more opened to things like Nightmare Night and not fearing everything including her own shadow. I’m with you all the way. Let’s get you some yummy food and play video games together!”
Later that night when everyone was sleeping, Pinkie’s hair started to twitch a lot. This was enough to wake her up. One word came to mind. “Maud!”
She awoken to feelings of being wet. Her eyes adjusted to make her situation quite clear. She was on her way toward a waterfall. With great effort, she swam over to dry land, having narrowly escaped going down the falls. Having more time to adjust to her surroundings, it was nighttime, and this was not anywhere she’s been before. She at first, got into a crawling position. However, it didn’t quite feel right and then she tried standing on two legs. Although she would need to balance herself as she adjusted to this, her new body felt like it was meant to stand on two legs instead of four limbs.
She moved closer to a light source that came from streetlamps. Her outfit had not been much different than what she had before departing, a simple turtleneck pale blue dress that reached close to her knees. Although what she didn’t bring with her were the black boots that were now on her feet. She checked her pouch to confirm her belongings were still with her. She walked in non-random direction with purpose, picking up pace as she adjusted to walking on two legs.
Along the way, she walked onto the street and moments later, a pair of near blinding lights almost crashed into her. What looked to be some sort of cart stopped, while a woman inside stepped out. “What is your problem lady?! I almost ran you over. Don’t you know not to walk on the streets like that?!”
“No.”
“What? Are you drunk? Did you hit your head? Have you lived under a rock your entire life?”
“I took the quickest way across to where I need to be.”
“Pay attention next time! Last thing I need is even more trouble by accidently running someone over.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You even sound so monotone. Whatever, just stay out of the way.” The angry woman got back in her cart and drove off. The stranger continued her pace to her destination, picking up speed over time, from walking, running, and even full on sprinting. She kept this pace up, even cutting through alleyways to get to where she needed to be quicker. However, when she slowed down, she encountered a hooded man in one of the alleyways.
“Hey sweet cheeks, where you in a hurry to?” He asked in a threatening tone of voice.
“My sister.”
“Slow down, let’s get to know each other a bit.” He held his arms out.
“No, I must be going.”
“Why leaving so soon?” He pointed to her pouch, “What’s in that pouch of yours? I bet money.”
“A rock.”
“Really? Maybe that’s what you’re calling a diamond. You don’t look to be dressed rich, but all the better to hide wealth.”
“I’m only going to say this once. Get out of my way.”
“Or else what? You look barely a hundred pounds. I wanna see what you have on you.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
“Me either. Hand your valuables over, now!” Without any change in her expressions, she punched the thief in his chest, causing him to fly back several feet and land on his back, yelling profanities in the process.
“You’ll live, I held back,” she said before resuming her journey. Soon she was full on moving at a pace no normal human could match, arriving at where she wanted to be with no more stops along the way.
Before Maud arrived at the door, Pinkie rushed outside and put her into a big hug. “Oh my gosh Maud! I’ve missed you so much! And I’m sure Equestria misses me too!” Maud smiled.
“It’s okay Pinkie, I will always find you no matter where you go.”
“So much has happened here. I befriended this girl named Heather Young...” Pinkie explained the events that happened between her arrival and now.
“Impressive,” Maud commented, “Twilight is working to get us back home.”
“I’m going to miss the Earthlings I’ve gotten to know, but so many ponies miss me back home. Everyone here I know was expecting this day to come. Humans are fascinating.”
“Boulder is the tracker. I have no intentions of ever losing him. Twilight knows our exact location because of him.”
“Here’s to hoping nothing silly happens where Boulder gets lost and we end up on some crazy adventure to get him back or Twilight sends the portal to the wrong location and some unexpected strangers enter Equestria and then we have to teach them about friendship and...” Maud her held hand up to Pinkie.
“Shh... it’s okay. We’re both in one piece and we’re one step closer to getting you home.”
“You’re right. The Youngs and their dog are asleep. Let’s get in the guest room all quiet like. Shh...” Pinkie escorted Maud inside. “We’ll make do with the sleeping arrangements in the guest room.”
The next morning, after Heather woke up and entered her bathroom, she saw herself in the mirror and panicked. “My hair! I’m supposed to have red hair, but now, it’s blue and green! How?! More of that Equestrian magic I suppose.” She looked closer at her long hair, with the left side now being blue and the right side having turned green. “Thanks, I hate it. Now I’m going to give the wrong impressions to people that I meet. At least I’m not going out in the public like this, or I would need a really big wig to cover this. Am I going to turn into a pony at this rate? I better not have my hands turn into hooves!” She said while holding her hands up and moving her fingers. “I’m way too used to these. They enable such a wide range of interactions that I doubt even sticky hooves could manage. Can’t I get some actual useful changes other than stuff to embarrass me?”
Heather went downstairs to meet dad, who was already preparing his breakfast. “Heather?!” her father noticed, “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you suddenly didn’t decide to dye your hair? First Pinkie, then smart Luna, you neighing like a horse outta nowhere, and now this.”
“What a crazy week this has been,” Heather grumbled, “I’m glad no one else is seeing this. People would really get the wrong impressions of me at school. As if I needed anymore targets on my back.”
“Not that you seem keen on going anyway. I can alert the teachers ahead of time when you go back next week.”
“And what are you going to tell them? That magic from a land full of magical talking ponies turned my hair these colors?”
“Of course not Heather, and you’ll do to be a bit nicer to me,” Logan gave a firm look to his daughter. “I’ll figure out something, just like how I had a friend of a friend help with Pinkie’s ID card. Look, as long as you can function as before, things should be alright.”
“I really hope so dad. Sorry, this whole thing is frustrating. Even if Pinkie hasn’t entered our lives, my school situation is still pretty much the same. Actually, now that she talked to my ex-friends, maybe things will go better back there, but I still really don’t want to go back. It’s not just them, it’s the students in general I have a very bad rep with.”
“I still don’t like the idea of you running away from your problems.”
“I’m not running away!” Heather shouted, then covered her mouth as if to take it back. “I mean... anytime I try confronting them, it just gets worse.” Logan still looked angry at Heather.
“This isn’t going to be a vacation for you where you play video games all day while home. You’re going to be productive. I’ll have tasks for you and I expect them to be done by the time I get back home. Today you get a freebie, but the next three days, I’ll have chores for you. Come, sit.” Heather did so and Logan took a deep breath.
“It’s becoming clearer to me that you’re not going to be ready to move out sometime after your next birthday. In fact, you might not be ready even by your twenty first birthday. It seems school isn’t going to teach you the social skills and workflow necessary to make it out there. And if I throw you out when you’re adult, you’ll have nowhere to go but to drift back to me.”
Suddenly, the Youngs noticed Pinkie Pie and another woman with her. “Whoa! Who are you?!” Heather asked.
“Hi. I’m Maud Pie.” She then pulled Boulder out of his rock pouch. “And this is my pet rock, Boulder. Say hi.” Both the Youngs did a double take.
“I’m Logan Young and this is my daughter, Heather Young,” He then took on a more serious look, “I was able to house Pinkie in the guest room, but it’s starting to get really crowded in here. I don’t think I can handle a third visitor. You and Pinkie will have to make do with the space in the guest room. And there’s only so much I can do with food. Although thankfully, Pinkie is starting to make enough of an income that I can afford more TV dinners and fast food.”
“I understand sir,” Maud answered.
“Unless you go with Pinkie to her new job, you’re probably going to be here with my daughter for some time.” Logan heavily sighed. “Looks like we’ll need to shop for clothes as well. I suppose I should look for a job for you. What are you interested in?”
“Rocks.”
“Hmm... let’s see. I think you could get a job as a geologist or miner. Are we expecting any more visitors?”
“Just Princess Twilight Sparkle when she sets up a portal back.”
“Any idea on when?”
“Nope.”
“I see. I need to be out of here and at work real soon. Heather, be kind to our new visitor.” And with that, Logan headed out. Pinkie waved at him goodbye and she turned back to the others.
“Maud, I’m about to head out to work myself. I’ll even bring you a cupcake back.” Pinkie did her now usual series of backwards long jumps from the outside staircase she built and ended up at work in record time. Heather could still hardly believe her eyes.
“Maud, you’re used to this, right?”
“Yes.”
“Must be nice to have siblings. I’m an only child. And it’s probably nice to have both parents who care, not just one. I bet that’s something else that goes better in Equestria, happy marriages that last. Anyway, since it’s just us two for a while, I guess we should get to know each other.” She pointed to herself. “I’m Heather Young. Wait, dad already told you. Anyway, what are your interests?”
“Rocks.”
“Err... I like video games. And umm... well, I guess Equestria sounds pretty interesting. Anyway, when did you get here?”
“Last night.”
“So, when we were sleeping? Okay, so, let’s try to find some common ground, or at least something I would care more about than rocks. Sorry, just not my thing. Do you have a boyfriend, or err... girlfriend?”
“Boyfriend.”
“What’s he like.”
“Just the most perfect pony ever.” Maud then explained Mudbriar in details, probably one of the few times Heather would probably see Maud smiling.
“That’s great. And Pinkie couldn’t stand him at first? I wonder how dad will feel if I ever gotten a boyfriend or girlfriend. I mean, granted, the odds of that are extremely low,” Heather frowned, “With how insanely difficult it is for me to form any good relationships with people. I really only started making friends again when Pinkie shown up like a week ago. You must be so lucky to have her as a sister, because I’ll probably never meet another person, or pony for that matter, who’s as upbeat and full of energy as her. I really can see her befriending everyone that isn’t a total jerk.”
“To a fault. But that’s what she has her friends and sisterly love for.”
Over at Sweets 2 Go briefly after school hours, Hanzal entered the shop and Pinkie was there serving. She gave the biggest grin upon seeing another possible costumer. “Hello! Welcome to Sweets 2 Go, where your sweet tooth will experience wonders never tasted before. What would you like sir? If it’s tasty sweets, it’s probably sold here.” Hanzal thought about it for a bit.
“I’m here for a layer chocolate and strawberry cake.”
“Coming right up!” Pinkie moved at an inhuman speed to get the cake to him. “You look a bit down, something up?”
“Yesterday I met this girl at high school named Heather Young. She seemed really upset and would hardly talk to me.” Suddenly, a lightbulb literally very briefly appeared above Pinkie’s head. Hanzal wasn’t sure if he really saw that or not.
“I’ve been living in the same house as her.” Hanzal smiled.
“That’s great! I think she can use all the support she can get, based on how I’ve seen her act.”
“I’m almost off work. I can have you stop by. She’s in a better mood already. Let’s get your cake paid for first.” While they took care of the payment, Pinkie was absolutely gushing. “Heather can make even more friends! Soon she’ll have more friends than she can count in the single digits.”
Earlier in the day, long before Pinkie was to return from work, Heather listened to Maud a lot. “I didn’t know rocks could be that interesting,” Heather commented. Her and Maud were sitting on Heather’s bed.
“Yeah. Most ponies don’t see the value in rocks like I do. The only rocks they like are gems.”
“I dare say it sounds like a special interest. In fact, you ponies seem to have those a lot more than humans do. But I’m still hardly interested in rocks myself even after those amazing facts you listed. But then there’s a few things I’m really into.”
“It’s fine.”
“I’m still not used to making small talk with people.” Heather barely made eye contact with Maud. “I mostly find small talk pointless and something I rather not engage in. But these past several days have really changed everything. Even when Pinkie arrived, I didn’t think I would be casual talking to one of her sisters. Another thing is that I’m the one doing the majority of the talking here. If I talk with Pinkie, she has far more to say than I do.” Heather pointed to her Switch and TV. “So, here’s what I’m most interested in, video games. I know Pinkie got into it when I introduced her to this, but I don’t know if you will as well. I’ll turn the TV on.” Heather did so and Maud had the same visible expression that she almost always does. “I can’t tell if you’re interested or not.”
“You sure Earth has no magic? Because it looks like magic with these moving images.”
“No magic, it’s all technology. I couldn’t tell you in details how this works. It seems electricity is a really special element that somehow makes all of this stuff possible. I could just look it up online if I really cared to, although that doesn’t mean I would understand it. School sure didn’t go into many details with this. In fact, school after the first few grades seems to mostly teach specialized knowledge that most people really don’t need to know. But it’s not like many will take me seriously since I’m still a teenager.” Heather signed, “But once that magical eighteen years of living happens, suddenly everything changes.
“Anyway, I’m rambling on a lot. I’m not used to having someone just listen to me rant and rave about things. I want to introduce you to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. Right off the bat, there isn’t any characters that heavily relates to rocks, but there are dozens of playable characters. So...”
Heather explained the same things that she explained to Pinkie a while ago about the game. Hours passed as both played the game while Maud, who picked Yoshi, very quickly picked up on how to play the game. “Whoa, how did you beat me?” Heather asked.
“I learned,” Maud replied.
“Can’t say I know where that comes from, but you already improved at much quicker rate than Pinkie did. And it didn’t even involve any blue shells. Anyway, I just remembered. So, my hair is supposed to be red, not this weird blue and green that it currently is. These are not natural hair colors for humans to have. For hair, we basically have different shades of warm colors and black. White is for when you get old. If you learned about humans from anime, you’ll think that any hair color is normal for humans.
“Pinkie says Equestrian magic leaked in when she teleported. I’m affected because I was near her when she teleported in.” Heather then frowned. “I hope I don’t turn into a pony. I won’t have fingers for a bunch of stuff or the diet to eat meat and fish. Human tools are designed with fingers in mind. Considering this has been my entire life up to this point, a suddenly change like this would be quite unwelcomed. How would this even work anyway? I get whatever pony powers and then have to deal with being the only magical pony on Earth? Any chances of a normal life go completely out of the window after that. I feel I would have to hide here to avoid the public at that point.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Maud added, “The hair color may be the extent of your changes. And if this does happen, we’ll deal with it, just like anything else. You have me, Pinkie, your father, and your other friends.”
“Thanks Maud. Anyway, dad isn’t home yet. I’ll call him just to make sure things are going okay.” A few seconds later, Heather did so. “Hello? What’s up dad? You okay?”
“I’m fine Heather. I just need to take care of some extra business for the Pies before I get home.”
“Ah, good. I got a bit worried there.”
“Please Heather, I’m not letting something bad happen to me, because you need me.”
When Logan returned home later than usual, he had something for Maud. “This is your ID card and a smartphone. You’ll want to always hold onto both, not literally, but like in your pockets. I figured I would get a phone case with rocks as the graphic design. In fact, it looks like a stone with a screen on it.” He handed out both to her.
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Maud dully replied.
“I also finally have a smartphone for Pinkie. I’ll give it to her when she’s back and then I’ll explain how they work to both of you at once. Meanwhile, let’s get you a mining job. Actually, before we do so, you never been in an automobile, have you? I know Pinkie mentioned carts, but they’re probably not like the cars we have. Depending how you got here, you probably seen these moving metal boxes on wheels already.”
“I have, one almost ran into me.” Logan looked concern after Maud revealed that.
“Wow, I sure hope that didn’t scare you too much. You’ll very quickly adjust to staying on the sidewalks and only crossing the street when you must. On that note, I’m not sure if you or Pinkie will be here long enough for me to get you two hooked up with a driver’s license. That’s a process that involves several driving tests, including parallel parking, that thankfully you’ll almost never have to do.
“And it’s not just the license, but also having something to drive. I can’t easily get you two used cars to drive. So, like with Pinkie, you’ll probably need to use the Taxi to get around the city. Then again, Pinkie, according to Heather, seems to be using speedrun tactics to get around the city these days. I’m not sure how much that’ll apply to you, but I’m guessing you can’t quickly backwards long jump across the city.”
“I can run fast for a while.”
“Must be that earth pony stamina that carried over to your human body. I can only wonder what would happen if a pegasus or unicorn arrived here if they would have wings or a horn or be able to fly or use magic without either. Anyway, we’re leaving soon for the mining site. Get ready.”
Fifteen minutes later, Logan got in his truck with Maud. “Make sure to put the seatbelt on, it’s the law and supposed to help protect you in case of a crash.” Moments later, Logan started to drive. “You’ve been on a train before, right? So, I guess this isn’t completely new for you.”
“Yes, this is somewhat familiar.”
“Here’s what you might not know. We have plenty of signs and traffic lights to direct how we drive.” Logan would go onto explain in many details about driving before they arrived at the mining site. Once there, Logan and Maud met with the mine foreman. “You’re going to really like her,” Logan bragged. The foreman did a double take.
“Seriously? She looks like she’ll have trouble operating the tools for long. Don’t waste my time.”
“I’m not, trust me.” Logan replied with confidence.
“Fine, I’ll give her a chance, but I highly doubt that she’ll be up to the standards of the other miners. I’m not lowering the standards to be inclusive to everyone who wants in. The standards exist for reasons, often important safely reasons.”
“I can handle them,” Maud said.
“Okay. See that rock over there? Grab a pickaxe and break it. Sure, we have drills, but I want to know if your physical strength is there, which I highly doubt just from looking at you if I’m being perfectly honest.” Maud went over to the rock without picking up a pickaxe and used her hands to drill through the rock in a matter of seconds. The foreman’s jaw dropped and so did Logan’s, as he did not witnessed Maud doing this before despite somewhat expecting this.
“Taken care of,” Maud said with a slight smirk. Several seconds passed before the foreman replied.
“H-h-how?! That’s... I barely have words. I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, but I had no way of knowing till now. I need you! My mining operation will skyrocket in production. I don’t know where she came from, but you sure know how to pick them Logan. Let’s just get some paperwork done and other legal junk. You sure you’re not a superhero or the world’s strongest human? What a day, I sure won’t forget this one.”
After Logan got home, he called Heather to his room. “As I said before, this week off school isn’t just going to be a vacation. Now is the time for me to go over the chores and other responsibilities I’ll be expecting out of you. We’ll start with laundry. You’ll be responsible for taking care of your own clothes for now on. I will show you how after dinner.”
“Dad, I did an online test, I’m autistic.” There was a delay before Logan replied.
“No, that is not how this works! You’re not self-diagnosing yourself, okay? There are so many problems with that. I don’t want you getting into the mindset that you’re a helpless victim who can’t improve her situation. An online test is not a replacement for a doctor.”
“But I fit the syndromes to a tee.”
“As I said, I’m not treating online tests as the end all, be all of who you are, and neither should you. I don’t want you falling into the trap of deciding you can’t overcome your struggles because of a disability or disorder. I’ll attempt to get you a visit to a doctor who would be able to know for sure sometime this week.” Logan sighed.
“I want to prepare you for social situations like the ones at school without having a meltdown anytime something goes wrong. Yet something like this will be a long-term goal and certainly not as fast as I want it to be, with you being able to handle whatever comes your way next week at school.
“Which brings me to one more thing. I want you to focus on positive relationships with the people you do have in your life like Pinkie, Maud, Gracie, and whoever else attempts to be friendly to you. This should be a huge help in breaking your funk with wanting to distance yourself from most social situations. I’m not expecting you to become friends with anyone like Pinkie seems to do. But I do want you to value the friends you’ve made. I know you don’t want a repeat of what happened with Trevor and Britney and neither do I. But I trust that at the very least, the Pie sisters won’t be like that to you. It’s too early to say for sure with Gracie.
“But that’s how life is. You think you know someone for years, even a couple of decades, and suddenly they’re a much worse version of themselves. I don’t have a functional crystal ball to say for sure that this will happen. It’s just a harsh reality of life. Although I suspect you won’t develop relationships that close for me to worry about that.”
“What do you mean? Like I won’t fall in love?”
“Perhaps. I won’t say it’s impossible, but I haven’t gotten any vibes with you falling in love with someone and wanting to marry them. At the very least I don’t think it’s going to happen for your remaining time in high school. Being perfectly honest, I’m glad, not because I don’t want to see you happy, but because you won’t have the many problems and stress that comes with relationships like this. You not caring about prom was a relief for me.” Logan set up from his bed. “Anyway, that’s enough out of me for now. Dinner time soon.”
Later that night, Heather got a phone call. Who would call at this hour? She thought. Annoyed, she picked up the phone. What number is this? Better not be a telemarketer.
“Hello?” Asked an older woman’s voice.
“Mom?!”
“Hi Heather. I think it’s time you know what’s really going on.”
“What do you mean? Why did you leave me and dad?!”
