Chapter 3: Intel Gathering
Twilight and the others froze. The scream sounded definitively male, and came from upstairs.
“I say, somepony is in quite the tizzy. I don’t even understand that last word they used.”
Rarity came around the side of the house to meet up with the others. They all stared inside the house in nervousness. Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought.
“I think I’ve heard that word before. Wait, that’s it! I read a word that sounds like that in the Canterlot archives! The book was called ‘Ancient And Forgotten Languages’. Apparently a long time ago, there was more than one language if you could believe it! While interesting, it seems incredibly inefficient to have more than one spoken language, everycreature would get confused!”
Applejack coughed. “Sugarcube, ah know this is interestin to ya an all, but could ya get to tha point?”
“Hehe, sorry. Anyway, I read that back around the time Celestia and Luna took power, there were words in the Equestrian language that were considered foul. The princesses decided that ponies didn’t need such language, and weeded it out of society over the centuries. How the pony living here would know about such a word is quite baffling! Maybe they’re a historian?”
Pinkie Pie bounced around Twilight excitedly. “Well there’s only one way to find out! We have a stakeout!”
Rainbow blinked. “You mean we spy on him? Doesn’t that seem like an invasion of privacy?”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Darling, we’ve already been snooping around his house, that isn’t much different.
Fluttershy raised a hoof. “I’m, girls? Why don’t we just… talk to him?”
“Fluttershy darling, did you hear that scream. Clearly they are in distress. Take it from me, you can’t have a calm conversation with somepony who is in such a state. I say we observe him until we at least know what to think of him.
“Oh, oh, I can figure out everything he likes for his welcome party!”
“Well, I guess I am a little curious about everything in his house. It couldn’t hurt to do a little intel gathering. Alright girls! I have the perfect spell for something like this!”
“Ooh! Is it an invisibility spell?”
“No, those are incredibly complex. It’s a spell that will let us hear through walls. That way we’ll be able to hear what’s going on without going inside!”
Applejack snorted. “Now that’s definitely invadin his privacy. All o this just seems a might dishonest ta me.”
“Come on Applejack, the princess asked us to investigate, and this is investigating!”
“Sigh, ah know, I jus don’t like this. Ah’ll help out, but I’m tellin him what we did as soon as we meet em.”
“Thanks Applejack. I know this must be hard for you given your honest nature. Now stand back girls, I’m going to cast the spell.”
Twilight’s horn glowed, and suddenly the six mares could hear muffled talk coming from above them.
“He must still be upstairs! Rainbow, go listen in in what he’s saying and report back when he comes down.”
Rainbow Dash gave a salute and flew up. “Alright, the rest of us can stay here until she gets back, and then we’ll continue to observe him and what he does until we have an opportunity to introduce ourselves.”
The mares engaged in quiet small talk while they waited for their rainbow maned friend. Around ten minutes later, Rainbow came back, looking more than a little out of it.
“Uh, girls, I think that this pony is a lot more than he seems.”
“What d’ya mean Dash? What’d ya hear?”
Well for one, he was having trouble walking when I got back up to spy on him. He was also complaining about being too small for everything. He even had to pull his huge chair over just to open the door because the knob was so high!”
Twilight gave Rainbow a weird look. “Okay, that is strange, but we already knew that most of the stuff in the house was too big for anypony. The walking problem could have just been because his legs fell asleep.”
“Let me finish! Then he said he needed to ‘get a better look at himself’ and went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Here’s the real shocker, he was surprised to see that he had a horn! He didn’t even know that he was a unicorn! Not to mention he didn’t know what a cutie mark is either. He called his a ‘Tattoo’, whatever that is.”
Twilight blinked. “Okay, you’re right, that is really weird. But we can’t jump to conclusions!”
“There’s one more thing too. He was wearing glasses that didn’t fit him really well. Did Fluttershy tell you about the pictures of the strange creatures we saw upstairs?”
Her friends shook their heads. “Well one of them was wearing a pair of glasses that look EXACTLY like the ones the pony was wearing.”
Twilight started to look a little nervous. “Okay… that’s very strong evidence, but I’m going to need confirmation to believe it.”
“Well I think he’s heading downstairs now, so let’s go catch up.”
The group of mares hurried around to the front of the house in time to catch the mysterious unicorn(?) going down the stairs.
“I think I’ll just watch some TV to take my mind off of how I’ve somehow been turned into a tiny green unicorn.” A pause. “God, that sounds even more ridiculous out loud.”
Twilight frowned. “Okay, I can officially say this pony is either not supposed to be a pony or is simply insane and an amnesiac. Surprisingly, the former seems more likely somehow.”
The unicorn went up to the strange black rectangle and pressed a button on it. The rectangle glowed and showed a picture on it.
Twilight gasped. “A miniature cinema? But where’s the projector?”
The unicorn picked up a black stick with buttons on it and spoke into it. The screen changed and a video started up.
“Voice recognition? That must be a super advanced magical device!”
Rarity gave the screen an odd look. “Perhaps it’s not even magic.”
Twilight gave her friend a look. “But look at it! It has to be magic! How could anything except magic do that?”
“All I’m saying is that this pony and his house have proved to be quite odd and unusual already. Who’s to say that his devices run on something besides magic?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “That’s absurd. No known force besides magic can do everything we’ve seen here.”
The group fell back into silence. The unicorn didn’t appear to do much for a while. They watched the screen in silence. It appeared to be a video of two males playing a video game and ranting about a restaurant named ‘Wendy’s’. After about an hour, the unicorn got up. After they left the room, the small thin device they had taken out of their pocket lit up and started to emit an alarm of sorts. The unicorn ran back and fumbled with it a moment before putting up to his head.
“Hello Mom?”
Pinkie Pie giggled “hahah! That’s silly, why would he call that little box Mom?”
Twilight listened with rapt attention. Even with the spell, she couldn’t hear what the device was saying.
The unicorn was silent for a moment before he widened his eyes. “What do you mean ‘the house is gone’?!”
The unicorn fumbled around on three legs, trying to keep the device near their head while walking towards the window. They jumped up onto a chair and looked out a window. Twilight and her friends made sure to duck below his view before he saw them.
“…uh, mom, what would you think if I told you that when I look out the window I see a bunch of buildings that look like they came from the dark ages?” A pause. “Yeah, that sounds about right, so then I’d assume you also wouldn’t believe me if I said that I’ve been turned into a tiny green unicorn?” Another pause. “Yeah, sorry, wrong time for a joke. I mean sure you can call the cops, but I don’t know how you’re going to explain this to them. Houses don’t just disappear like this. …yes I swear on my life I’m still in the house, and no, I don’t know where I am. …okay, I’ll take a picture and send it. Alright, bye, don’t panic, we’ll figure this out.”
The unicorn put the phone down. “Well fuck, I’m sure as hell not in Kansas anymore. Then again, I could be. Never been there after all.”
The unicorn fumbled with the lock on the window and opened it up. He poked his head out and looked around. “Why does everything look so… cartoony? I’m just noticing this now actually. Everything’s so much less detailed.”
And then he looked down to see six multicolored ponies staring up at him nervously. The purple one raised a shaky hoof. “Uhh, hi?”
The unicorn blinked, and promptly slammed the window shut.
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Keep up the good work
... ,
... , Ok.
Ok, I have to hand it to you. This is the most grounded and realistic response to a HIE arrival I've read in a very, very, long time. Authors often go the ridiculous rout of panic, and violence, and running into walls, and there is the required 15 chapters where the character cries and whines about missing their mommy, like a shut in with incest issues.
This is really well done. Its funny and realistic, and dam close to what real people would do in this instance.
Keep up the great work
The Monk
"Mavis, for crimes against royalty, I hereby sentence you to the sushi bar!" the judge said, as chains wrapped around her, and dragged her away." -darkmage1997
10920335
Magic lol
10920656
Thanks for the kind words! A little look into our former human’s current mental state. He woke up, found himself turned into a fictional being, and had a minor freak out. Once he calmed down and determined that this was reality, he promptly threw logic out the window and has since just become annoyed at all the new shit being thrown at him. Plus, like it’s been stated, he’s the adaptable type.
Very good chapter! I find it very funny that the mane six throw away the concept of privacy and spy on the poor guy for God knows how long.
Hope the next chapter's soon! Good work!
Finally, common sense rears its head for these ponies
Oh, yeah. This is getting good.
10920553
Oh, I wasn't joking. mine just had more firearms
I'm looking forward to Twilight's reaction/outburst when she learns about "technology" and where he comes from magic doesn't exist. LOL
10920759
Oh I didn’t think you were joking, it just caught me heavily off guard.
10920656
pft. Who said he won't panic next chapter?
0- infinity on the funny meter in 0.0000000001
This is by far the most realistic take on a HiE fic I've seen in a long time. Keep up the good work!
10921753
Also, my theory for now is that Equestria is Earth thousands, if not millions, of years into the future, after humanity went extinct. Considering what Twilight said about multiple and foul languages.
10921754
Telling you right now that’s not the case. Galen is still able to contact his mother, who by that logic would be long dead. Not only that but it’s also been stated that Equestria looks a lot more like a cartoon than Earth. It’s more of a trans-universal thing.
10920784
Something something quote advanced enough technology indistinguishable from magic something something.
Stalking fail 101.
Pfffff
Just curious, why do you use 'they' for 'he'? There haven't been any hints at gender ambiguity.