I don´t have read it yet, but i am happy that you add more, the story had interessted me really much, but i only not read it because i don´t knew if there would come more of it. So thank you i will read it today i think.
Only to be sure, the sex part is not overused is it? I have to say i don´t have something against it, it is just that i don´t like storys where they turned out to be sexaddict´s. I just want to say there should be a limit, like at least only one time sex each chapter and maybe only every second chapter. I like some cute part like cuddling to in the storys. I don´t want to say to much yet, it is just that i waste half of a week with a long story which turned out bad because mostly of Rainbow Dash which asked the hero every minute even the time Sombra attacked if they could have sex. I hope you understand what i mean, i ust want to be sure it is not overused.
Oh why! I saw this was updated, got so excited, only to see so many grammatical errors. You had a lot of sentences that should have been combined in some way, shape or form, but for whatever reason you didn't. Example:
The bottom half of the dress resembled the top, silver fading to blue from top to bottom. With what looks like a large diamond at the front of the dress, almost as if it were holding it together.
Should be more like The bottom half of the dress resembled the top, silver fading to blue from top to bottom with what looks like a large diamond at the front of the dress, almost as if it were holding it together.
4778979 actual gratified readers would like to remind you that all instances of arson have been removed and fixed, please start leaving comments that state your opinion in a helpful way...have a nice day
I don´t have read it yet, but i am happy that you add more, the story had interessted me really much, but i only not read it because i don´t knew if there would come more of it. So thank you i will read it today i think.
Only to be sure, the sex part is not overused is it? I have to say i don´t have something against it, it is just that i don´t like storys where they turned out to be sexaddict´s. I just want to say there should be a limit, like at least only one time sex each chapter and maybe only every second chapter. I like some cute part like cuddling to in the storys. I don´t want to say to much yet, it is just that i waste half of a week with a long story which turned out bad because mostly of Rainbow Dash which asked the hero every minute even the time Sombra attacked if they could have sex. I hope you understand what i mean, i ust want to be sure it is not overused.
Oh why! I saw this was updated, got so excited, only to see so many grammatical errors. You had a lot of sentences that should have been combined in some way, shape or form, but for whatever reason you didn't. Example:
The bottom half of the dress resembled the top, silver fading to blue from top to bottom. With what looks like a large diamond at the front of the dress, almost as if it were holding it together.
Should be more like
The bottom half of the dress resembled the top, silver fading to blue from top to bottom with what looks like a large diamond at the front of the dress, almost as if it were holding it together.
I like it. *Cough cough* Hidden Zac Brown Lyrics. *Cough cough*
"keeps"
"to"
Plot Twist:
The foal will look a lot like the rude waiter.
4758985 There isn't a large amount of clop, no.
4759723 I'll try and get those found and fixed before I leave for work, thanks for pointing those out, I though I got most of them.
4759967 Probably shouldn't have had him playing while I was writing eh? It looked like it worked great so I left it xD
4760205 I will get those fixed post haste. Thanks for the other errors you pointed out as well.
Decent read.
4778979 actual gratified readers would like to remind you that all instances of arson have been removed and fixed, please start leaving comments that state your opinion in a helpful way...have a nice day
If that was me I would have put that asshole in the hospital