My only problem is I'm not sure which your going for, and I'm not sure you do either. Like the idea, but I can't help but wonder if this is really, Anthro, and not just Humanized. Cause when I see details like, "skin and feet", instead of "fur, scales, and clawed feet or hooves", Humanized is the impression I get.
Sorry. I'm a visual reader, and that's what I'm seeing. I'm not going to down vote. It's just something that is turning me off. In a sexual and non-sexual way!
A more fun version?
No offense to the first one.
It was good!
Writers sometimes feel as though they missed a mark with a project so they try making a new version.
I want to read this, but I remember the last time you try to make a story with Spike and Celestia.... I'll keep my distance from this one.
A few. errors I found in the first chapter.
he counts deny the majesty of the view Celestia possessed.
he could not deny
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"You just need to be your charming yourself.”
be your charming self."
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“So...” He cleared his throat to break the always silence."
break the silence. or break the awkward silence.
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surly you’ve told me about them before
surely you’ve told me about them before
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Second chapter.
My only problem is I'm not sure which your going for, and I'm not sure you do either. Like the idea, but I can't help but wonder if this is really, Anthro, and not just Humanized. Cause when I see details like, "skin and feet", instead of "fur, scales, and clawed feet or hooves", Humanized is the impression I get.
Sorry. I'm a visual reader, and that's what I'm seeing. I'm not going to down vote. It's just something that is turning me off. In a sexual and non-sexual way!
It begins.