The Zebra Empire once stood at the pinnacle of the world, but a Vengeful Sun burned the once great empire to the ground and all of it's allies. For several thousand years, the remnants of this tragedy crawled their way back.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It looks like Zakia has the situation in Ponyville under control, however there is still princess Twilight who can be a tough opponent. He better put her, Pinkie Pie and Rarity under his control.
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Maybe... maybe not. Who knows. ;3
Breeding time! Will the foals be fully zebras or zonies?
I felt it was a bit short, and I wanted to see Zakia fucking herself mercilessly at 3, but even so, this chapter was good.
(SATE, SATE ,SATEEEEEEE)
Okay, okay, it's a miracle I'm back to comment on this story.
I'm sorry if I haven't done it before, BUT I'm already here so let's start with the Review.
These last chapters we had some Femboys and some girls who were quite greedy and hungry for very appetizing male liquids. XD.
But, it is true that I am feeling that the story does not advance much. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex and above all because as I said before, you have a peculiarity of making sex not feel repetitive, but.
Sex aside, I feel like the plot doesn't go far enough to get us closer to Celestia or even that theme that Zakai wants so much to accomplish.
Maybe I'm picky, but these chapters (Very good by the way) lack a bit of the main theme of the story. If you allow me to say it, with all due respect I tell you this.
I would like to see you focus a little more on the process of the story, since we have already been in poniville for several chapters and when you mentioned Celestia talking to that hooded being. I had a strong hype. And then with the other chapters he left.
Don't get me wrong bro, I want to continue seeing sex, and I look forward to seeing Zakai fucking Celestia with both of her cocks in the near future. But I also see that you try to lay foundations in poniville, that is, the strategy of our good protagonist and I respect that a lot.
I just want to see a preview, since as I said, it was also what hooked me the most in the story.
That being said bro, I really hope you don't get mad or take it the wrong way. I only give you my humble opinion, and if you want to send me to hell, I'll gladly go XD.
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~The story has a very slow burn to start with as it was intended. Most conquest stories go right into take over and winning. Kwa isn't doing this. They have to approach things subtly, so theirs a lot of ground work that was already done before Zakia's arrival but it was limited due to the dangers of becoming something that Celestia might notice. When the ball gets rolling, we'll see a lot more world building and chapters with an even amount of smut and plot to some chapters being pure world building and no smut. So the slow burn is done with intent and the smut scenes being so heavy in just about everything does have a reason for it and something that will be a point of contention within the story. To avoid going into spoilers, just keep in mind. "Character growth isn't fast and needs to be nurtured and sometimes you gotta fall to see the first sprout of change."
~The smut is also heavily self indulgent, so their will be a lot of chapters still that are more smut than plot but that will even out as more of the world is established.
~Also since the rewrite a lot of things have gotten added both smut and world building wise, so the story has a bit of bloat in areas.
~As I said before, when you last posted. Water under the bridge, we talked and as long as things remain civil and objective. Your feedback will be welcomed. So do not worry. Your feedback and concerns about the story progression is founded. But don't worry, have faith in me and Holocron to get it done right.
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This is not so much a spoiler, so I'm okay with answer this. Yes to both. The how, when or why I wont say though.