• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen 34 minutes ago

Holocron


Gaze within the Holocron and see what stories it has to tell.

Comments ( 62 )

Is this, like, the third time this story has been written?

10751013
Revisions can do that, but yes it is. This is the final version and I don't plan on rewriting it again. :twilightsmile:

10751013
This is the first rewrite/remake

10751019

Then the typo in that summary is here to stay?

Within only a few days, Celestia had brought ruin to the once proud empire. Destroying it and removing it from history till the once great history of Zebra-pya and its long standing history was forgotten by all expect a few.

Should be "... all except a few.", got the "c" and the "p" all twisted around.

10751055
Thanks, some always slip through the cracks. :rainbowlaugh:

What happened to the last one?

10751107
Due to reasons, I decided the story needed to be improved upon. But rather than un-publish and re-publish chapters, it was easier to do it like this. Start off fresh as it were.

Yes! I remember reading a couple chapters of the old version of this story before it was deleted! I'm so glad it's back!

10751019
Can't wait to read this but I am a little bit sad but you never know I could love this even more

I was looking for this story, I even tried looking for it in fimtech, I thought I was lost forever, this is good news.

What is this, Fall of Equestria only with zebras?

10753031
Kinda yes, Kinda no. I dont really follow FoE to much. So I can't properly answer this compared to someone who knows FoE better.

FoE from my understanding is just insta fall from grace into domination. Kwa Rushwa is having more build up, while Zebra's are the main force shown. They have other allies that will appear over time.

10753031
Kinda, but not as physically damaging. Unlike Fall of Equestria, there will be no dismembering, cutting off horns, or anything of that nature.

I really like this story but really hope that author gonna change spme things. Like I hope to see that Zakia gonna impregnate and make his harem with all mane 6 and princess, Because in previous version he use different pony in another ways. So its seems better if he corrupt and make his broodmares with mane 6 and princesses

The only reason I can be disappointed is that the original was left at a cliffhanger and I now have to wait even longer. Unless this a 100% complete rewrite.

With that said, I hope you show how Sweetie and Scoots become corrupted this time instead of introducing them into the story after the fact.

10753706
Yeah I can understand that disappointment and its totally within reason. Me and Holocron both are sure that this version of Kwa with all the additional work thats been done will improve on not only the story but Zakia's character growth as a whole.

10753895
I'm ultimately glad this is happening. I usually attributed it to the long periods between updates, but while each individual chapter was strong I also felt a lack of cohesion when it came to the overarching narrative.

10754768
Yeah that's one of the things me and Holorcron worked on for this remake of the story.

Nice. Quick question, will we be seeing any willing pony collaborators in this version of the story. I'm pretty sure there are some who are disatisfied with Celestia's rule or sleazy enough to sell out there own country to save their own skin. I'd reward the former and punish the latter.

10762419
Sorry, but I cannot tell as of yet.

Love that this story is back. Already it feels a little more polished and focused than the last iteration.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the previous edition, but this version feels like there are more set goals in mind.

Noticed in the notes that you're hoping for a more regular schedule, how often do you think you'll be releasing new chapters?

Guys please somebody have previous variant of Kwa Rushwa story please? I suddendly overwrite old one with new one so can someone share it with me very beg you

10798570
You'll see as the chapters are released.

My personal hope is, less of a focus on the cuckolding aspect of Zebradom. However! That is NOT to say I fault anyone for liking that, kinks are kinks, you do you! My personal preferences are only that, personal preference! :twilightsmile:

10804657
Both me and Holocron talked about that before and while it will be very common for both personal enjoyment and for the sake of moving plot along. Its gonna be far from the only thing done or tactic used, more so with the lead Zakia. Who was very linear before in his character for the most part and we'll see his own tactics grow as he does.

I do hope you'll enjoy the future chapters that are put out.

10796844
Don't worry we have a great deal in the pipe line, so you'll see A LOT more.

10797847
I am sorry but that is not possible at this point and time, sorry to disappoint.

10807901
I have another question related to the same topic. Zebradom tends to be about cuckolding rather relentlessly... but what about cuckqueaning? If you go by Derpibooru examples, that's about hundreds versus maybe a dozen, tops. Which makes no sense. Especially since I've often seen fans of Zebradom taking great offence at being compared to Fall of Equestria despite the content being, quite often, identical.

10809266
Not really as much, you'll see why come future chapters. I won't go into details as it would spoil future chapters but when read it you'll understand why.

10809273
I'm well and truly curious to see the reasoning why. Moreso if it turns out to have logic behind it instead of being just about authorial preferences, like it tends to be in other settings.

10809299
That was a personal hurdle of mine, Kwa was simply a commission originally but as time went on that changed and both me and Holocron became extremely invested in it. A great many times smut was done for the sake of doing it. That has changed a great deal as the story has a great deal of smut still but a lot of things are done within reason or logic. Not just simply "because it can" and thats actually proven to be a bit of a task for me personally as I just flat out love smut stories and its easy to let things get outta hand when you're so involved in it. Too much of a good thing.

I hope you can enjoy the story like many others have and will, If you have any further questions I or Holocron can try and answer but we will be avoiding spoilers.

Comment posted by BBY deleted May 16th

fuck you horny brain I'm not reading this

10796844
Man did I came hard to this 🤤🤤🤤

I love that Fluttershy is acting like some Insatiable Succubus. All those years of Suppressing her instincts must have Consumed her soul. Brillant.

Am i the only one that liked the previous version more?

Nice to see us getting down to the good stuff, and on what looks to be a VERY regular schedule! I could get used to an update on the 2nd of every month.

I have to say though, considering this is meant to be a more polished and refined version of a previously uploaded story, I'm a bit disappointed that certain bits of grammar and sentence structure haven't been corrected. I didn't notice much of anything in the first two chapters, but the third chapter has some pretty clunky text in places. Might want to have one or two people proof read before uploading next time?

Other than that, super pleased to see this story chugging along. Can't wait for us to visit the Apple family and Rarity, my favourite segments from the previous version.

10846776
Yeah some things still slipped through the cracks. Do you mind sending me a PM with what you noticed. Cause it can still be tweaked without re-uploading the chapter.

Thanks again for the solid comment and feedback

10847059
Sure!

I'll get on it over the next couple of days.

10848428
Thank you very much, It's greatly appreciated. If you see any in the future, you're welcome to do the same by sending them to either me or Holocron.

Zakia should run away from Fluttershy, not even him can handle her. Can't wait for more.

Rainbow Dash won't be easy to break. I loved the moment between Zakia and Zecora.

Hey Holocron on question, I can see that you upload a chapter every month, but how many chapters have you prepared? Keep it up, this is a nice story!

10885819
I cannot give a detailed answer. But I can say that at this point in time, there is no risk of the story being left in creative limbo as it was before. I appreciate the patronage from you and the many other readers. :twilightsmile:

Hm. So Zakia is effectively faster than Rainbow Dash. I guess I should expect Zebra Superiority in a story about Zebradom, though I'm a little disappointed at how quickly that fight was over. Even FoE gave its victims more of a fighting chance.

10885922
Overall speed no he's not, flying and fighting on her feet are two different things. She can fly fast, but that doesn't mean she can run as fast. Different set of muscles, doesn't mean she's slow either. Just can't make her run speed and flight speed comparable. Cause her flight is so fast, she causes a sonic boom. Cause that's 750mph type of fast. Not to mention the distance she's flying, while admittedly left vague.

So yes, She is much much faster than Zakia. But when it comes down to skill in combat and durability, Zakia has her beat. Siri agent as a general whole have some form of combat training, more so those that are actively in the field. Zakia more so in many areas is trained in combat because its expected of him and his position among the Siri. Rainbow Dash while she is fast, she is not trained in any form of combat or at the same level as someone who has the training to kill someone.

That on top of the fact she was easily goaded because of her hot headed and ego-drive nature. She was also emotionally compromised cause of her friend being involved and what she believed was going on. She was easy to throw off and caused her to be fairly quick for a take down. Cause while she is fast like I've agreed with, that doesn't mean she is strong. Cause by that logic, you could say Applejack could run as fast as Rainbow Dash because she's strong so that must mean she's fast right?

If it was someone like Applejack or Big Mac, then they'd likely have an advantage over him in strength because of what they do day to day.

I hope this explains a bit and helps you understand the why and how Rainbow Dash was taken out as she was. It wasn't done willy nilly, it was done with a reason.

Thanks again for the comment. :D

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