Welp that was hot, well done

awesome! only gripe, is when the characters spoke in the midst of those large sentences. maybe split when the characters spoke like this and when "They talk like this."

10504619
Good point, I’ll consider that in my next!

Incredibly good.

This was a epic wild and fun beginning I can't wait to see where this goes and I hope he makes a herd of his own and dome friends.

Needs a squeal

make a story from this

Hehe, cute!

Not bad. Not bad at all!
Good job!

Why does this read like it's written by an alien

10692740
Maybe it's intentional? Oh and I have a vibe that author might be ESL, a little familiar pattern

Good job!

I decided to read this story before the sequel. I know this story is over six months old but I noticed two typos. Wanted to let you know.

I found my hoof, covered in mud in front of me, but it was pequilare, my hoof, and for that matter...

Unless I am missunderstanding the sentence, it should be 'peculiar'. Peculiar meaning strange, odd or unusual.

My eyes lost focus one again...

Should be 'once'.

It was okay. You might want to consider using different nouns, adjectives, and adverbs for the act of copulation and the appropriate tissues and organs involved. For example, a teat is the nipple on an animal, the udder is the swollen mammary.

e animal bolt off past my tree with a poll like object

Should be pole

10935567
Fixed

Good story, well done! Though it is in desperate need of an editor.

"my hoof, covered in mud in front of me, but it was pequilare" Did you mean peculiar? Good story either way ✌

Черт это самое крутая история!😊

😁

Pretty good, the paragraphs are horrible though

I am thankful that this weird, scary and gentle creature is the only one to see me at this moment, because I’m not sure if I would have a place in Ponyville if anypony heard or saw what I was doing.

Trust me, they would’ve gotten a taste

It was around this time where the logic that once helped to guide my decisions, returned and made me consider if what I was planning to do would even be possible.

Logic came a little too late

My eyes that were closed in thought of what I was about to do, snapped open, a fearless, determined glint in them. No, I will not consider backing down now, I have done too much to back down, and who would I really be if I were to give up before making this incredible breakthrough ? In my declaration, my wings flared out and my chest puffed in determination, I was ready to take on the danger that lay deep within the Everfree.

Instantly hooked with that intro! Really interesting premise

Ok, I know it wakes up early and makes its rounds setting traps and collecting. Once the sun is high enough up, boom, free real estate baby.

“Or maybe I could live among them and leave behind the struggle to survive each day.” I smiled. That was a nice thought.

This was honestly such a great story! 10/10

Really liked how it read as a report of sorts