A Splendid Little Fanfic

by Turdy1

Bring it Around Town

Chapter 4: Bring it Around Town

"NO NO NO! I want to take the train!" John whined. They received a response saying the princesses would send a chariot to bring them to Canterlot. Unfortunately, John was a railfan at heart. He already demonstrated "Attention Deficit Rainfan Disorder" when he stopped near the tracks in the town for several minutes waiting for a train.

"I don't think you have a choice, buddy." Michael replied. John dropped his head in defeat.

Twilight turned to the pair and said, "Well, it may be a while before the chariot gets here, so you could probably look around town. Anyplace you boys want to see

John rubbed his stomach. "I'm going to hit the local eatery. Because I'm hungry, as usual." Twilight looked at him as he went to the door and said "Shouldn't someone go with you? I mean, you just got-" The human raised his hand. "Trust me. If I can navigate New York City on my own, then this town will be a piece of cake." And with that he left.

Then it was Michael's turn to speak. "If you don't mind, could you fill me in on what's been happening lately? Also, do you have any books on cooking meat?" Twilight, with a mix of horror and astonishment said "you eat MEAT?"

He chuckled and said "Lots of times! I need my protein, and I grow tired of beans. And if ANYONE mentions soy, I will eviscerate them." Fluttershy shuddered at the word eviscerate. It didn't sound good. Against her better judgment she asked "What's eviscerate mean?"

He paused for a moment and said "To remove ones bowels in a quick, surgical motion."

The pegasus shuddered. "How-how can you say such a thing? Are you crazy?" The Pegasus raised her voice, a sign that there would be a blue moon that night. He gave her a look and asked "Did I offend?" she shook her head and said "You're excessively violent! Why are you like that!" Whether or not he was aware of it, Michael was on the verge of being "Stared".

The human chuckled. "Where I come from, I always wanted to be a doctor, but being in a lab wasn't my bag of cats. I wanted to be a combat medic!"

Twilight knew what doctors had to see; what would be so bad about combat? Either way, she wanted to change the subject. "Now, you were asking about things around here? Well, Rainbow Dash has been taking care of the weather, my friend Pinkie Pie has been baking—"

He interrupted and said "No…I mean how is Equestria's relations with other nations of this world? Who do you share it with?" The unicorn levitated a book over to him and said "Listen, just relax! You're in a new world, explore it!"

As he walked outside the library, he muttered "I think she told me to go fuck myself". He looked down at what she had handed him. It was a blank journal with a quill and some ink. He presumed she wanted him to write down what he saw, or thought. He slid the items into his belt's many storage compartments he had attached as he headed down the street.

Ponies of all sizes and colors parted ways for him as he headed down the street. He could sense the fear they had of him. Frankly, he couldn't blame them, they were tiny ponies, and he was a rather large human, something they most likely had never seen before. He heard a voice from behind him ask "Where're you going to now, Black?"

He leaned his head back and saw Rainbow Dash. "How long you been there?" he asked. She flew in front of him and said "about since you got outside the library. Why did Twilight give you a blank book?"

He shrugged and said "I guess she wants me to say what I need to about this place. Well, since you're here, can I ask you a few things?" she nodded and said "Sure… just nothing weird or fake like what you first told me."

He rolled his eyes began, "What's it like to fly, and how do you do it right?" the Pegasus smiled and began boasting "Well, first you gotta be AWESOME like me…"

(Elsewhere, in a completely different part of Ponyville…)

John was walking along one of the railroad track's rails, humming "What's This?" from the Nightmare Before Christmas. He was fairly certain Sugarcube Corner was this way. He looked around, noticing many ponies terrified, scared, or just plain weirded-out by him. As he continued to balance on the steel rail, he realized Sugarcube Corner was not right along the tracks, but in fact down a side street. Jumping off the tracks, he continued humming until he was in front of the Carousel Boutique.

"Hmm…" He looked at his feet. As usual, he was wearing a pair of beat-up slippers. The lack of paved roads was nothing new for the footwear, but he had picked today of all days to not wear socks. Maybe later he'd ask her if she could make some new slippers. And some hats.

He resumed his humming as he approached Sugarcube Corner. Pausing, he came up with a brilliant idea. If Pinkie was half the pony John thought she was, she would catch on in an instant. He thrust open the door to the shop, singing a line from the song he was humming:

"The smell of cakes and pies are absolutely everywheeere!" Sure enough, the pink party pony poked her head out of literally nowhere to continue the number:

"The sights! The sounds!

They're everywhere and all

Around!" From there, John continued singing, steadily taking his performance to the center of the room:

"I've never felt so good

Before!

This empty place inside of me is filling up,

I simply cannot get enough

Oh I want it! Oh I want it!

Oh I want it for my own!

I've got to know, I've got to know,

What is this place that I have found?

What. Is. THIS?" At that moment, Pinkie slammed something in his face. Looking up, he found it was a sign reading…

"Ponyville? Hmm…" Pinkie broke out laughing. "I love that movie! It's why I love Nightmare Night so much! Wait, you're a human! There's never been a human in Ponyville before! Are there anymore of you? Have you seen our show? Oh, you brought a laptop! We could should Princess Luna that movie! I think she'd like it, what do you think?"

John let his brain digest what she said. He noticed ponies staring at the two. This was typical for Pinkie, but the presence of a human didn't make sense.

"Don't worry everyone, just calm down," he urged, "Just eat your food, get your vitamins A's and B's and C's." He then turned to the hyperactive pink pony, "Well, I love the Nightmare Before Christmas too, uh, There is another human here, we've both seen your show, And I think she would love Tim Burton." His stomach growled, "Oh, and could I get something to eat?"

"Sure!" She bounced over to the counter while the human walked to it, "What would you like?" He looked at the vast array of pastries.

"Uh, choices," He said, quoting a victim of Team Roomba. He settled on a slice of chocolate cake with white frosting and a strawberry on top.

(One piece of cake later…)

"…And that's how I got my cutie mark!" John had asked Pinkie Just how the events that created Hearth's Warming Eve fit in with Celestia and Luna's reign. While her explanation was extremely long, it did make sense. At that moment Spike entered the shop.

"John, the chariot's here. Oh, hey Pinkie." He said. John turned back to the pony

"Say, could you hold onto my laptop? I don't usually have the battery in it, so maybe you could figure out a way for it to work." If anypony could get a piece of human technology to work, it would be the pony with no regard for the fourth wall.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" John gave Pinkie his laptop and followed Spike out the door. "So, you wouldn't happen to know where Michael is, would you?" The human looked at the dragon. "He left? Huh, I have no idea where he is." He stopped. "Why don't you go look for him, I can find my way back to the library."

"Are you sure?" Spike questioned. "Absolutely!" And with that, the human headed back to the railroad tracks.

Well, that's one down, one more to go! Thought Spike as he began to search the town for the other human.

Attention Deficit Rainfan Disorder is real. It's usually characterized by slowing down at railroad crossings and losing all focus once an object involved in railroading becomes visible. And New York City is a bit tricky, but once you have the basics figured out (and begin to think like you live there) it gets easy.

And I hope this gets good enough to warrant an audio version. I would love to voice act for myself and sing. And this won't be the last time I use my lovely singing voice. Heck, I even reprise my role a Jack Skellington.

And in all honesty, i'm not 100% sure of what Michael was doing, but don't let him know I said that.

Comments

[ozpakko]

I love this.
Have a mustache

[Turdy1]

1198225
Thanks!