A Splendid Little Fanfic

by Turdy1

Fancy boats n' such

Chapter 10: I’ll come up with a Title later…
John looked up at the unicorn that pinned him down, who had begun to giggle.
"Sir! Stand back citizen!" Commanded Peashooter. John raised a hand.
"At ease." The human turned to the pony, "Could I please stand up?" The pony jumped off him.
"I'm sorry!" she hopped to the side, allowing the human to sit up, "It's just that, I always thought humans existed and now," She began to giggle again, "I was right! I was totally right! Everyone said I was nuts, but LOOK NOW! AHAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed, rising on to her hind legs. John raised an eye brow and nervously looked around, thankful only a few ponies were looking at them.
"Uh, hey Lyra, do you mind getting of-" And then he caught himself as the unicorn's eyes widened. Oh Shit.
"Oh. My. Gosh. You know my name!? A human knows my name!" Shit "Wait, how do you know it?" Shit! It was hard to tell if she was getting suspicious or just more excited, so John decided to bank on the latter.
"Well, umm, if you could get off of me, I'd be happy to explain. Peashooter?" "Yes, sir?" "You may return to Canterlot, let Michael know I've found someone who can help start the air force. I would give you money for a train ticket, but you know I'm broke." The guard let out a sigh
"With all due respect sir, I'm never getting on another fucking train in my life!" He regained his composure, "Since I am a Pegasus, I will fly back, and I will inform Michael." He turned and flew away, leaving john and Lyra alone. After some debate, John decided to try and reveal My Little Pony to her.
"Now, I guess you're wondering how I know your name?" She nodded her head enthusiastically. "Well, it's a really long story. It all started about fifteen years before I was born..." This is going to be a long story. Thought Lyra as the two headed towards the Carousel Boutique.
(Back at Canterlot)
Blackburn was drinking his home-brew tequila and humming happily as Buckshot Smiles finished his story.
"Well, after I got shot in the ass with the blunderbuss thanks to that asshole royal guard, the buckshot left scars there, and I used them as a cutie mark so the dicks back at school would shut up. My dad, you know, Clean Smiles, the dentist, then stopped calling me Buck, and then called me Buckshot Smiles. Then, a few months later I ran away and was convicted for selling arms in Stalliongrad. I was then arrested at the age of 17, and escaped by making an explosion with laughing gas and a piece of flint. The rest is all history…" Blackburn nodded in satisfaction.
"A self-made ma-pony, I mean. That's real good; you'll make a great second in command here. I mean, it’s been…what, a day? We have blueprints on the army, and I got some more ideas. Like, I ordered all the best surgeons and doctors out here to see me, and I got our miners getting Palladium—"
Just then a Pegasus flew into the balcony. Blackburn recognized him as Peashooter, the pony who was helping out John. The guard approached Michael.
"Sir, John would like to inform you that he is working on producing aircraft for an air force. Additionally, he also is making progress in rebuilding the Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.”
Blackburn nodded. "That's pretty good. I mean, I am working on mass producing firearms and advanced technology, like M-60s, M-48A2 tanks, and F-4E phantoms, but I’m sure he's doing fine.” He turned away for a moment, “Want a beer before you go?” raising a bottle.
The guard respectfully declined Michael’s offer and quickly departed for Ponyville.
(At Peashooter’s destination)
John and Lyra had steadily made their way to the Carousel Boutique. The entire time, John tried to explain the idea of being in a TV show to someone that had never even heard of TV. Admittedly, that part was easy. “…So, any questions?” The unicorn paused.
“So, I’m just a minor character? Like, I’m not even important?” John sighed. “Technically, you’re right. The creators of the show never had anything special planned for you.” The mare looked at the ground, a sad expression on her face.
“But,” he continued, “You’re still important. The fandom loves you. They’ve created most of your persona. But since your personality was created by a multitude of people independently, you have so much more freedom than the main characters.” Lyra raised her head, “Huh?”
“Well, like I said, there’s canon and fanon. Things that are canon, like your name including Heartstrings, that’s official. As for fanon, there’s two different categories. You’re interest in humans is something that everyone has agreed upon and is constant. Then there’s your relationship with Bon Bon.” “Huh?” “Well remember how I mentioned the high female-to-male character ratio affected pairing?”
“Oh,” she nodded, ”Oh!” she then blushed, realizing just what he was going at. “Yeah, well it tends to vary widely from story to story. Sometimes, you two are just friends, othe-“ Lyra cut him off with a wave of her hoof. “I- I get it.” “Anyway, I need to see Rarity now. Just wait out here a bit.” As he entered, a little bell rang.
“Coming!” Came a refined voice from the back. In moments, a unicorn with a coat as white as driven snow emerged from a door. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where every…thing…is…” Rarity’s voice trailed off as she noticed her customer’s appearance. “Oh…you must be one the humans Twilight told me about.”
“That’s me” “Oh, well I would assume you are here for clothes?” Yes…” he wasn’t expecting her to be this…nervous? Reserved? Timid? What was the right word? As she began to take his measurements, john got to figuring out what was wrong.
“Something wrong?” He asked. She paused. “It’s nothing. Oh, hold up your forelegs” “Does it have to do with me being a human? And they’re arms” he asked, a small smile on his face.
“Well, yes.” “Huh?” his smile disappeared. “The way Twilight described humans, with their militaries and such, they didn’t sound too…cultured.” “Cultured?” “You know, refined, classy? You can lower your…arms.” As she continued her measurements, John began to think.
Hmm…What do humans have that’s classy, refined…there’s got to be- and then it hit him, like a ship hitting an iceberg. “The Olympic class!” he said out loud. “I beg your pardon?” “The Olympic-class ocean liners. They were built about eighty years before I was born, but from the pictures I’ve seen there was nothing classier on the sea.” He now had Rarity’s attention. “What do you mean?” She asked.
“They were the largest and greatest ships in the world at the time and had all the fixings to prove it. Two grand sweeping staircases, restaurants, a swimming pool, luxurious first class accommodations, a gymnasium, a veranda with palm trees, trust me, they were practically floating hotels.” Now smiling, the unicorn spoke “They actually sound rather nice. What happened to them?”
“Well, there were three. The one everyone remembers is the Titanic, the second ship. During its maiden voyage, it struck an iceberg and sank, with only seven hundred of twenty-two hundred passengers and crew surviving.” “Oh my…” “Yeah, there were all sorts of regulations made after that. Then, there was the Britannic, the third one built. Since it was finished in the middle of the war, it was employed as a transport for troops, then later used as a hospital ship. It was sunk by a mine and sank with thirty lives lost. The last one was the Olympic. It had a long and prosperous service but was ultimately cut up for scrap.” Now finished demonstrating why he was going to get a degree in history, he looked directly at her, “Any questions?”
“Yes,” she said, raising a clipboard, “What kind of clothes do you need exactly?”
“Well, I guess the stuff I’m wearing right now, some T-shirts, some jeans, maybe cargo shorts, I love pockets, socks, underwear, and maybe a leather jacket.” “I assume you mean faux-leather, right” John shrugged.
“Sure let’s go with that. Oh! And now that I’m in charge of the country, I’m going to need a special outfit. Something formal, regal, even. Something red with gold trim. And It needs to have a kepi.” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “A kepi?”
“Yep, it’s a kind of hat. It’s round with a flat top and brim on the front.” Here, I’ll sketch one.” He used here clipboard to draw the hat. He gave it back to her.
“Mmm hmm, I don’t usually make hats, but I’ll see what I can do.” She said, “Your clothes should be ready in a few days.”
“Alright, thank you. I need to go now, a bit busy right now, but I’ll pay you later.” And with that, he left. Outside, he found Peashooter waiting for him.
“The hell? Weren't you supposed to be in Canterlot?”
Peashooter sighed. He was starting to hate this job.

It's true, I am going to get a degree in history. Might work at a museum one day...
Now, i can be childish and eccentric at times, but I can calm down and help when someone's views on their universe comes crashing down on them.
I promise, things will pick up eventually. And to those that disliked this story, please tell me how to improve it. I know it's not the best.