Auntie Tia's Matchmaking Service

by Shaslan

Chapter 27

Carefully positioning the basket and smoothing one last near-invisible wrinkle from the chequered rug, Zap Apple took a deep breath and surveyed his handiwork.

The picnic blanket was positioned on a low swell of ground, just high enough to provide a view of the orchards below. A pair of golden delicious apple trees spread their shady branches overhead. The grass was long and luscious — almost as soft as his mattress back home — and when he was a teen he had passed long hours out here daydreaming. It was one of his favourite spots on the whole farm.

It was also one of the most beautiful, when conditions were right. He glanced up at the sky, which was as clear and crystalline as his mother had promised. The apple fritters waited in the picnic basket, safely ensconced in a crockpot to keep them warm. Applejack had pronounced them a triumph, and had handed him another pot of apple cobbler for dessert. With them sat a couple of mangos just for variation’s sake. Two bottles of last year’s cider rounded out the meal.

All that was missing now was the date’s final ingredient: Dust Devil herself. The mare in question did not strike Zap Apple as the type to be late. Underneath that outer layer of jocularity, she was a little too serious for that sort of thing.

But to be fair to her, she had never been to Sweet Apple Acres before, and the sea of green treetops could be a little hard to navigate from the air if you weren’t used to it.

Still, that didn’t stop him from anxiously scanning the sky for the umpteenth time.

He began to fidget nervously, rolling and unrolling one corner of the rug beneath his hoof. She wouldn’t just…not show up, would she? No. That would be even less like her — what little he knew of her — than being late. She had answered his letter. She had said she would meet him here. What had been her exact words?

“I wasn’t sure at first, but after thinking about it, that does seem like a good idea. We definitely had a spark that I haven’t felt with anyone else, and Auntie Tia thinks we should explore it.”

It rankled a little, that even after he had left Auntie Tia’s services, she still had a hoof in the pie of his love life. He sighed. Just because he had decided more efforts at matchmaking were not for him, that didn’t mean Dust Devil had to make the same decision. It was her prerogative.

Maybe, a little voice whispered, maybe if all goes well today, we can convince her that she doesn’t need to meet any more potential matches either.

Raising his eyes to the heavens once more, Zap Apple performed another cursory scan. Then his breath hitched, and he half-rose to his feet. At last, his patience was rewarded with the sight of a hazy white blob in the distance.

The blob winged its way toward him at considerable speed, and soon resolved itself into the gold-and-cream form of Dust Devil. As Zap Apple watched her streak across the skies of the farm he loved, his throat tightened. It was strange, to have her here at his home.

She sped closer, those wide wings pumping hard, and Zap Apple suddenly realised that she might not have seen him. Hastily, he jumped aloft, and shot up to greet her. The orange blur of his passage was enough to catch her eye, and she skidded to a halt, backwinging hard.

“Hey!” he called breathlessly, and immediately kicked himself internally for such a lame greeting. After all the suave lines he had practised last night, too.

But Dust Devil didn’t seem to notice. She smiled at him, and his heart constricted a little. “Hey, Zap Apple. Good to see you again.”

Relief washed over him at her words. The enthusiasm in her letter had been genuine, then. He had feared that it might all be some machination of Celestia’s. “Y-yeah,” he stuttered. “It really is.”

There was a moment’s silence, and then Zap Apple realised that he should be guiding the conversation. “I’m really — I’m really glad you came,” he went on quickly. “I wanted to see you again, after…last time.”

Dust Devil’s mouth quirked. “Me too.”

At least it was clear that she wasn’t going to launch into another deadly serious discussion about life goals this time. They could just…relax. Get to know one another.

Well, Zap Apple chided himself, She only really raised that stuff right at the end last time. She was totally chill for most of it.

Aloud, he said, “I’ve — uh — made us a picnic. I know it’s a little early for lunch, still, but I thought it might be nice to just…hang out. Talk a bit, you know?”

Still hovering in place, Dust Devil smiled a little wider. “Yeah, I think that sounds pretty cool.”

“And I’ve got more planned for after lunch, if you want to,” added Zaps. “We’ve got a pretty great swimming hole over by the river. And there’s some great flying over the Everfree — the winds there are insane.”

“Sounds great,” Dust Devil answered. “But lunch seems like a good place to start.”

Zap Apple led her down to his hillock, and watched as she settled herself on the rug beside him. She offered him a slightly nervous smile, and he realised he had been staring. Quickly, he gulped and looked away. He reached for the picnic basket.

“So—” they both began at the same moment, and hastily stopped. Dust Devil giggled softly, and Zap Apple flushed.

This wasn’t going the way he had imagined. Suddenly, all he wanted was to skip the awkwardness, to just get it out of the way. He wanted their easy companionship again, the banter, the competition.

“I’m really glad to see you again,” he said, a little urgently. “I really am. I just — let’s just relax together, shall we?”

Looking a little surprised, Dust Devil nodded. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

Zap Apple nodded too, a little slower, and eased himself down until he was lying with his legs folded under him. “This was my favourite spot when I was a kid,” he said softly.

Beside him, Dust Devil lowered herself onto her belly. “Oh yeah?”

“I used to come up here and dream of the new variety of apple I’d breed once I got my cutie mark,” Zap Apple said. “I was going to call it the Healthy Zappetite.”

A snort of laughter from beside him, and the tension was finally broken. “Really?”

He shot her a wry grin. “Really. I was going to be the best apple breeder Equestria had ever seen…at the same time as being a Wonderbolt, somehow.”

“And look at you now,” Dust Devil said, and Zap Apple looked sharply at her, but her expression was only one of gentle mockery.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “I eventually figured out that I hated grafting rootstock together. Manual labour…well, I can do it, but it’s not my favourite thing. And all that cross-pollinating the trees with a paintbrush.” He shuddered. “Way too finicky.”

“And the Wonderbolt dream?”

He shrugged, smiling a little wider. “Similar story. I realised being an elite athlete takes a heck of a lot of work. Training every day, workouts, the lot. My mum might make it look easy, but there’s an awful lot of secret work in there that she doesn’t really let on to ponies.”

“So you gave up on both options and went the tornado route?”

“Yep.” He shrugged. “It was a bit of an accident, really. I was just messing around at junior ‘Bolts camp one summer, and then boom — there it was. Tornado cutie mark. I was good at it, as it turned out.” He turned back to her. “How about you?” He gestured to the golden-yellow arc on her flank. “How’d you get yours?”

“A bit like you, but a few differences. When I was a kid we were always touring with the Washouts, so I started training pretty young. I went to training camp every year too — a few years ahead of your time, I guess. Before I even got my cutie mark I was leading the Junior ‘Bolts.” She shrugged her big soft wings. “Pretty standard story after that — we were doing a show at the end of summer. You probably did it too, the usual end of camp show. I went into a big loop, and then before I knew it,” despite her casual tone, her voice took on a tinge of pride, “I had my first contrail blazing out behind me. Got my cutie mark right then and there.”

“Wow,” Zaps breathed, and meant it. “What a great time to get it, too. Must have been awesome.”

“It was.” Dust Devil’s eyes misted up a little as she gazed past him and into her memories. Then she blinked and turned back to him. “My mum wasn’t best pleased though.”

“Why not?” Zap Apple couldn’t imagine it. Rainbow Dash would have been thrilled if he had gotten his cutie mark during a Wonderbolts show. Especially if it was obviously a flying mark, and not one in weather creation.

Dust Devil shrugged, lowering her eyes a little. “She has quite the history with the ‘Bolts. I’m sure your parents will have covered it with you.”

“Right, right, of course.” Internally, Zap Apple was kicking himself again. He’d put his big hoof right in it. The whole point of this date was to talk about them, not the weird family feud. Trying to change the mood, he hopped to his feet and headed over to the picnic basket. “Hey — so I don’t know if these’ll be quite your thing, but I did a little baking before you got here.”

She perked up at once. “Ooh. I wondered what it was that smelled so good. What’d you make?”

He couldn’t help it — his chest puffed out a little in pride. He was a good cook; everypony had always told him so. “My specialty. Fresh apple fritters, from apples we grew right here on the farm.” He lifted out the crockpot and laid it carefully in between them. “I’m reliably assured by a variety of different sources that these are delicious.”

Eyes half-shut, Dust Devil breathed in the aroma. “Mmm, they certainly smell it. Let’s eat.”

Grinning with anticipation, Zap Apple took the lid in his jaws and offered her the first one. He scooped out his own and held it in his hooves, waiting to watch her take her first bite. Dust Devil sank her teeth into the cider-rich batter and the soft cooked apple beneath, and Zap Apple was gratified to see her eyes half-close in bliss.

“Oh, princesses, this tastes amazing.”

“I told you it would.” It was a struggle not to sound smug. He bit into his own and let the familiar flavours dance across his tongue.

For a few minutes, they didn’t speak much. After they had each eaten seven of the weighty fritters, the crockpot stood empty. Dust Devil ran a hoof around the inside to catch any last crumbs, and then they both leant back with satisfied sighs.

“You’re a pony of hidden depths, Zap Apple,” Dust Devil said lightly, glancing across at him. “You’re a brilliant flier, you can make tornadoes like nopony I’ve ever seen, and you can bake? Is there anything you can’t do?”

Zap Apple blushed again, brighter than before. That was not a question he was used to hearing. “Ah, no, I’m nothing special.”

Leaning back onto her elbows and shutting her eyes slightly, Dust Devil waved a hoof at him. “Don’t do yourself down, Zap Apple. You’re a talented pony. I mean it.”

An irrepressible smile spread across Zaps’ face. “I— thank you. I think you’re pretty cool as well, Dust Devil.” He glanced over at the picnic basket. “You want a mango?”

She grinned. “Sure.”

He hoofed her one, and she caught it effortlessly. Taking a huge bite out of it, juices running down her chin, she smirked up at him. Zap Apple couldn’t help but smile back. She was so at ease, so confident.

Wiping her chin with one hoof, Dust Devil heaved herself back into a sitting position. “So. Back to your cutie mark. Tell me about your job — what function do the tornadoes serve? I’m not sure I get why any region would need great big twisters rampaging all over the place.”

“They’re necessary for the ecosystem out there,” Zap Apple said immediately; he was more than used to giving this explanation. Non-Appleoosan ponies were often confused by why is particular brand of weather management was needed. “Tornadoes and high winds spread the tumbleweed and the seeds from all the other plants around, they set off certain behaviours and breeding seasons in the animals and plants, and they help moisture to travel too. Wild tornadoes have always happened spontaneously in the desert, and it was only actually about twenty years ago that the local weather team set up the tornado squad to do it in a controlled way.”

“Huh,” Dust Devil remarked, leaning back on her haunches and taking another bite of her mango. “That’s actually a really interesting line of work. I would never have thought tornadoes were so important.”

Zap Apple nodded eagerly. “Yeah, it’s a great job. Aside from being really, really cool,” he flashed her a smile that he hoped was charming, “You can really tell that we make a difference in ponies’ lives. No more random destruction or risk; now we can warn ponies exactly when and where tornadoes will happen, and they can prepare for it.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I’d never even considered that aspect of it.”

The sound of a twig snapping and a hurried “Shhhhh!” made both their heads snap around, and Zap Apple’s easy confidence evaporated as he saw both his mothers frozen mid-step, the offending twig crushed beneath Applejack’s hoof.

Zap Apple surged to his hooves, his wings spread to put some sort of a barrier — any sort — between his parents and his date. This could not be happening. Not when everything had been going so well. “Mum! What are you doing here?”

“Heh, heh.” Rainbow offered them a weak smile. “Hey there, kids. Fancy running into you here.”

Wincing, Applejack put a hoof on Rainbow’s foreleg. “Sorry, Zaps. Your momma and I were just headin’…headin’ over to see Big Mac. See how Orange Peel’s comin’ along.”

Eyes narrowed, Zap Apple furiously jerked his head to indicate that they should get lost. “The farmhouse is that way, Mum.”

Applejack wilted. “We were goin’…by a bit of a roundabout route.”

“We just wanted to see if you kids needed anything,” Rainbow added brightly.

A hoof pressed to his face, Zap Apple furiously gestured them away. “Go on, guys, get going, then.”

“So you don’t need anything?”

He groaned, and behind him, Dust Devil laughed. “No, Mum! Get out of here!”

His parents vanished back into the trees from whence they came, Applejack forcibly hauling Rainbow along behind her.

“Ah told ya it was a bad idea to go see them!"

“Aw, quit it, AJ! You wanted to see what all the fuss was about just as much as I did!”

His hoof pressing harder into his face than ever at their still clearly audible voices, Zap Apple considered spontaneous combustion. While fatal, it would provide at least a way out of this hellish situation.

“Hey,” Dust Devil said from behind him.

“I’m sorry,” he said from behind his hooves. “That was dreadful. I have no idea why they did that.”

“No, come on,” she laughed. “It was fine! They seem really…cool.”

He shook his head and got to his hooves. “I think its clear that this spot is now compromised. Let’s move on, shall we?”

She took the hoof he offered to help her up and fell into step beside him. “Alright, then. What’s phase two of the Zap Apple date extraordinaire?”

“The river,” he smiled down at her. He could still get this back on track. “The swimming hole, remember?”

After a glance up at the sky, she nodded. “Sure. It’s nice and sunny, so we can dry our feathers afterward.” She paused, and then nudged him gently with the elbow of one wing. “I gotta say, Zap Apple, you shouldn’t worry about what happened. Your parents seem like really nice ponies.”

Zap Apple coloured slightly. “Oh, really? I’m glad you think so. I did not expect them to come out and do that, I promise.”

They reached the winding track that led towards the river, and Dust Devil asked a couple of questions about the different varieties of apples that they were passing. Zaps was happy to oblige, and launched into a description of the difference between jazz and gala apples, attempting to make it as funny as he could.

It was working, and Dust Devil was falling about laughing when the two figures strolling down the track up ahead caught Zap Apple’s eye. For one hideous moment he feared that it was his mothers come back to haunt him again, but the two shapes resolved themselves into different familiar forms. A big purple stallion and a smaller tangerine-coloured mare, her belly big with foal. Apple Tart was pulling a cart laden with apples, and Orange Peel was walking carefully along beside him, her stomach looking like an even heavier load than the one her husband pulled.

“Tartie, Orange Peel, hey,” Zap Apple greeted them both. Though Dust Devil slowed her pace as though she would have liked to greet them, he signalled furiously over her head at Apple Tart, who nodded and plodded onwards.

“Heyo, Zaps,” was all he said, and Orange Peel waved a hoof. Then they were gone, mercifully. Zap Apple breathed a sigh of relief. He’d had about all the family introductions he could handle.

He turned back to Dust Devil, who shot him a questioning glance. “Your brother?”

“Nah,” he shook his head. “My cousin. But he’s as good as a brother. Him, my cousin Pippin and me all grew up together.”

“And is Pippin about today too?” A small smirk played around the corners of Dust Devil’s mouth, and she made a show of peering behind a couple of the trees they passed. “Seems like there’s an Apple behind every bush round these parts.”

Zap Apple laughed. “Heh — no, she’s at university. She won’t be home now until Hearth’s Warming, at the end of term.”

“What’s she studying?” Dust Devil’s ability to feign polite interest in other ponies’ obscure family members was either incredibly well simulated, or it was genuine.

“Horticulture. Apples mainly, I think.” He chuckled. “We’re a bit of a predictable clan, I’m afraid.”

Dust Devil shrugged her soft plumage. “Actually, I’m finding you all to be…a real surprise. This isn’t at all what I expected from your family. Not to mention the family of Professor Dash. Who’d have thought she was a farmer in her spare time?”

Zaps bridled a little at the mention of his mother, and Dust Devil must have sensed it, because she quickly laid a wing against his side. “Not that your mum is relevant, I mean. I want to leave our parents and their history out of this just as much as you do.”

The touch of those whisper-soft feathers sent tingles down Zap Apple’s spine and was enough to drive all coherent thought from his head for a moment. “Oh, I — uh,” he stuttered, and Dust Devil giggled and withdrew her wing, and he could think again. “I mean—” He coughed, and tried to deepen his voice a little, “—Yeah, good plan.”

She giggled again, and it was an incongruously girlish sound to hear coming from a mare as intimidating as she sometimes seemed. But it was a lovely noise, like birdsong, and Zap Apple wanted to hear it again. He scrambled for something funny, and then landed instead on something Applejack had suggested that he tell Dust Devil.

“Uhm — Orange Peel, she — Apple Tart’s wife, I mean — she’s pregnant.”

That got another laugh out of her. “I noticed. I think I would have struggled not to notice.”

He snickered with her, and suddenly he knew that he could be honest with her. That she wouldn’t judge him. “Horseapples, I’m — I’m hopeless at this. Dates. Conversation.” He cleared his throat. “I’m really looking forward to being an uncle. I can’t wait to see what my little niece or nephew looks like.” He ducked his head again and came to a halt. “I know your big thing is that you want foals soon, Dust Devil, and I — I’m still figuring all that out. But Tartie’s kid is gonna be here in a couple of months, and I can tell you that I’m stoked to meet my nibling, and maybe…maybe then I’ll be able to give you a firm answer.”

Dust Devil’s steps slowed and halted too, but Zap Apple kept his gaze on his own pale orange hooves.

“Hey,” she said softly. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty damn good at dates. And conversation.” She blew air out through her nose, and reached out a wing to touch his face. “And I appreciate your honesty. All in all…I do really like you, Zap Apple. I asked if you were open to what I want, and you’ve said you are. I think I can probably hold off a few months while you figure it out.”

Hope sprang anew in Zap Apple’s breast, and he looked up at last into her amber eyes. “You mean it?”

Dust Devil’s expression was calm, her eyes big and soft as she looked at him. “I…yeah. Maybe I…maybe I have been jumping into this tail-first. I mean, after I have the foal I gotta raise the thing. And I need to take my time and find the right pony to do that with.”

Zap Apple chuckled, and he leaned into her caress. “And don’t forget what comes after that.”

Her eyes tightened for a moment before she relaxed again. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…foals leave home,” Zaps said, a laugh in his voice. “You need to find somepony bearable enough to hang out with at the old ponies’ home after your kid’s grown up and gone off to be in the Wonderbolts.”

Dust Devil giggled again, and the sound sent thrills through Zap Apple like tiny, delicious knives. “Yeah, you’re right.” She brightened. “Okay, Zap Apple. You win. You got me. We’ll take it slow, for a while. See how we go. I want to get this right.”

Zap Apple reached up a hoof to touch the pinion that still lay against his face, and Dust Devil’s eyes were like liquid honey looking up at him, her scent of pine and speed and cloud vapour washing over him — until his grip on her tightened and he yanked her towards him. Her full length pressed against him, and for a heartbeat he could feel every sinew of her muscular frame. She gasped and he grinned down at her shocked expression. “But we don’t want to take things too slow, do we?”

She took a moment to recover, but then she lidded her eyes and shot him a flirtatious glance. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” and Zap Apple’s grin widened as he suddenly released her and leapt upwards into the air, “We are on our way to the swimming hole, and it seems to me like the last one there will bear the label of ‘slowest flier’ for all eternity.”

Dust Devil gasped in outrage and unfurled her own glorious wingspan. In a single snap of her pennons she was airborne and beside him, hovering with perfect precision. “Oh, Zap Apple, you have no idea who you just challenged. It’s on.”

She slammed her wings downwards again and was gone, tearing away from him in a howl of wind not unlike her namesake. Zap Apple grinned at her swiftly retreating golden contrail, and hastened after her. The race was afoot, and if he was going to lose, he was going to make damn sure he didn’t go down without a fight.

Comments

[Immortalmagi]

That was a really nice date for these two. It sounds like they're going to be dating for the next couple of months then - and then probably more.

Really nice to see them been together

[katarjin]

Well this is a nice way to get ready for bed, seems to be looking up for Zap...hope it works out, they seem good together so far.

[NovemberDragon]

Wonderful chapter!