Auntie Tia's Matchmaking Service

by Shaslan

Chapter 4

Celestia stared out the window, watching the fields and forests of her beloved kingdom race past. Canterlot was just a speck perched on the dwindling mountains behind her, and the rolling green landscape was slowly flattening into agricultural countryside. The land was rich and fertile, the fields heavy with crops ripe for the harvest, and Celestia’s heart sang to see her little ponies flourishing.

She glanced back to the interior of the carriage. Usually Celestia’s weekly journey to the Castle of the Two Sisters was one she preferred to fly solo. The opportunity to soar alone and unguarded was still a novel experience for her, after so many centuries of being surrounded by guards or pulled in chariots. She looked forward to those moments of solitude in the sky. But this week she was not going directly to her Everfree residence. She had a stop to make first, and the chance to catch the train and mingle with new ponies had caught her fancy.

She looked across at the mare sitting opposite her, who was currently attempting to create a convincing impersonation of a pony calmly reading their newspaper, whilst staring avidly at Celestia’s every movement. Indeed, Celestia’s vast mane took up most of the seat next to the mare, and every time its undulations threatened her newspaper, it was drawn respectfully, even reverently, backwards, that its ink might not sully the luminescent curls.

Celestia caught the little mare’s eye and rewarded her with a warm smile. The pony gave a small “Eep!” and vanished completely behind the newspaper, her whole face flaming crimson.

Celestia chuckled to herself and looked once more out of the window. The Everfree Forest was visible now, a dark line on the horizon promising another weekend of peaceful isolation with Luna. And before it were the brightly thatched rooves of the little town that had so shaped the life of Celestia’s most treasured student.

Ponyville.

The cosy little profile of the town was dominated now by the School of Friendship, the mountain behind it, and the Castle of Friendship, but its quintessential charm remained. Celestia remembered with pleasure the many Summer Sun Celebrations she had passed here with Twilight and her friends. The next one was only a few months away. Although she was no longer the pony that would raise the sun, she never missed the Celebration and the first sunrise of the year. She loved to feel the familiar kiss of warmth on her fur that her old friend always brought her.

Disembarking the train with some little difficulty — train doors were simply not constructed for ponies of her stature — she proceeded slowly down Ponyville’s main street. New shops had sprung up since she had first begun to regularly visit the town, but the ones she remembered the best still remained. Rarity’s original Carousel Boutique, the Cakes’ bakery, now accompanied by Pinkie Pie’s Party Emporium and Cheese Sandwich’s Silly Supply Store.

Ponies stopped to stare, as they always did. Many of the older ponies stooped to bow as she passed, and Celestia smiled and dipped her head slightly in recognition of their salute. She had discovered long ago it was better to gently correct ponies on her new status once she had gotten to know them a little more. They had the best of intentions, and she had no wish to offend them. But she had no time educate them today; she had an appointment to keep.

She left Ponyville behind her and made her way up the dirt track that led towards one of the places Twilight had surely visited the most when she lived here; Sweet Apple Acres.

The old red barn still stood, its paint fresh and bright as ever. Celestia smiled to herself, remembering the letter she had received from Twilight about the barn’s construction. Ponyville was a place heavy with memories.

“Princess Celestia!” A deep voice called out, and heavy hoof-falls sounded to Celestia’s left.

With a flick of her head and a little conscious magical effort, she was able to change the direction her mane was flowing in, in order to better see the approaching stranger.

The earth pony stallion approaching her was huge, his head almost up to Celestia’s withers. His size and orange mane meant he could only be one member of the Apple family.

“Apple Tart,” Celestia responded with warmth. “How pleasant to meet you at last.”

The stallion doffed the brown stetson he wore and lowered his head respectfully. “An’ mighty pleased to meet you too, Ma’am. We’ve been expectin’ you all mornin’.”

Celestia’s ears tilted forward in mild concern. “I hope that I’m not late?”

Apple Tart shook his head emphatically. “Oh, no, Ma’am, Princess. We were all just plum excited to meet ya.” He shifted his hind hooves a little uncertainly and replaced his hat on his head, suddenly looking much younger. “Ain’t no small thing to have royalty comin’ to the farm, even with Princess Twilight Sparkle poppin’ in an’ out all the time.” He perked up again. “Can Ah walk ya over to the house to meet everypony?”

Celestia nodded. “That would be wonderful. Though I think I am already acquainted with most of the family, younger members excluded. But I am very much looking forward to getting to know all of you a little more. How are your parents? Has Big Mac’s leg recovered? I heard that it was quite a nasty break.”

Apple Tart brightened at the subject of his father. “Oh, Pa’s as tough as an old goat. Ain’t nothing that could keep him down. Even when he was in that wheelchair he was always out in the orchard, tellin’ me what trees to tend to next. And Ma’s doin’ great too. Her apple pies are sellin’ — well, like apple pies! Every year we have to increase production more an’ more.” He beamed as he said it, and Celestia smiled. It was clear that devotion to the family farm still ran strong in the Apple bloodline.

“And your little sister?” She combed through her memory for the name. “Pippin, if I remember correctly?”

Apple Tart confirmed it with another nod, clearly pleased that she knew his family so well. “Ayup, that’s right. Pippin’s at Manehattan University now, studyin’ agritech. She’s a credit to all of us. Comes back with all these crazy ideas, but Ah tell you what — some of ‘em really do work. Her ideas for irrigatin’ the mango grove worked wonders for our yield.”

They approached the front of the big house now, and Celestia could see several figures seated on the various rocking chairs and porch swings. All were dressed in their sunday best, clearly in anticipation of her arrival.

“Princess Celestia!” Sugar Belle cried, smiling widely as she got to her hooves. She leant over to the hunched figure in the wheelchair next to her. “Granny! Granny! Look who’s here!”

“Eh? Whassat?” The little green figure beside her muttered, through a muzzle as wrinkled and wizened as a walnut shell.

“It’s Princess Celestia!” Sugar Belle repeated.

Celestia gave them both her hoof in greeting, and while Sugar Belle smiled back and shook it, Granny Smith merely blinked at her uncertainly. Celestia’s face softened as she looked at the little old lady, and she lit her horn very briefly. A simple spell of clarity and healing would give the elderly pony a few days of feeling more like her old self.

Celestia turned now to the other ponies gathered on the porch. Big Mac, his mane streaked with grey now but his huge muscles still equal to those of his son, shook her hoof firmly but stayed characteristically silent. Apple Bloom and her partners — Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were their names, Celestia thought, and she was fairly certain she remembered them featuring in some of Twilight’s letters — also greeted her.

Last to come forward was Apple Tart’s wife, Orange Peel, her belly big with the next member of the Apple clan. She pressed Celestia’s extended hoof between both of her own and smiled gratefully up at her. Celestia offered her congratulations, and reflected privately that it was lovely to see one of her matches turn out so well. Apple Tart and Orange Peel’s marriage had been a very successful one; two agricultural families, two eldest siblings focused on creating a family of their own. Their union had obviously— her lips quirked slightly at her own pun — borne fruit.

“Thank you all for being here to meet with me,” she said, as graciously as she could, knowing that today was important to all of them. “But the parents have requested that I meet with them first, privately. I’ll come back and join you all later — for tea, perhaps? In the meantime, could you point me in the direction of the cottage?”

Apple Tart affirmed that he could, and chivalrously offered to escort her there. He led Celestia down a small, winding grass path that cut through several orchards towards the outskirts of the farm. There, in a peaceful grove of apple trees, was a pretty little cottage, carved of the same distinctive red wood as the main Apple house. Apple Tart took his leave, and Celestia crossed the decorative row of stones at the garden’s edge alone.

She raised a tentative hoof and knocked twice on the little red door. She stepped back so that she was a respectful distance from the doorway, and eyed it dubiously. It was much too small for her to get through without a great deal of undignified wriggling, and that would not be a good first impression to make on her new client. No, they had better meet outside.

There was a clattering noise from within the cottage, a muffled exclamation, and then the door flew open with a bang. Celestia knew even before the pony emerged exactly which member of the family it would be.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” she said.

“Celestia!” Rainbow smiled broadly. “Great to see you! Come on in!” She beckoned enthusiastically, but her smile waned as she took in Celestia’s height. “Right. I always forget that bit. I’ll get some chairs out here. Hang on!”

Rainbow was just turning to fly back inside when Applejack appeared behind her wife, resettling her hat in a disgruntled way. “Landsakes, Rainbow Dash,” she grumbled. “The amount of times Ah have to tell ya it ain’t a race to the door.”

Rainbow snickered and stuck her tongue out, softening the foalish gesture with an affectionate touch on the shoulder. “Then why do you always try to beat me?”

Applejack snorted and pushed the hoof away, but she was smiling as she did so. “‘Cause somepony has to at least try, or you’d die of boredom.”

Rainbow Dash gasped. “Are you saying you only compete out of pity? Applejack!”

Celestia laughed along with their banter, and Rainbow darted away to fetch some stout oaken chairs, sturdy enough to bear even an alicorn’s weight. “Tried and tested!” she boasted. “Twilight’s been over plenty of times and sat on these exact chairs. And we’ve never had a breakage!”

“And where is Zap Apple?” Celestia asked, delicately seating herself on the small chair.

Applejack winced. “He’s…uh, in his room. He has some…doubts about this whole thing. Ain’t sure he wants to go along with it.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “I think we all have some doubts, AJ. Zaps is still young. He doesn’t need to get married.”

“We were younger than him when we got married,” Applejack returned. “By the time we were his age we were already mothers to a four-year-old.”

“But we wanted to be married,” Rainbow objected again.

Applejack silenced her wife with a hoof on her wing. “Sugarcube, Ah know you have your doubts, an’ Zaps does too, but this is important to Granny. She ain’t got much longer left in this world, an’ she wants to see her great-grandkids well an’ settled afore she goes. An’ marriage was the makin’ of me. And you. Motherhood too. Ah ain’t never seen you show care to anythin’ like you did when you were pregnant with Zaps.”

“And you want the same thing for Zap Apple?” Celestia guessed, cutting in to their discussion.

“Yeah,” Applejack answered. “Zaps is very like Rainbow was when she was young — all focused on his career. Ah jus’ want him to know family is important too. See him puttin’ down roots. Kids are real important to the Apple family. An’ Ah might like a grandfoal before I’m too old to do anythin’ with ‘em.”

“And how do you feel, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow sighed. “To be honest with you, I see more of AJ in Zaps than myself. He’s stubborn, just like his Mum is. I think he’ll come around to the idea of marriage and foals in his own time, when he finds somepony he likes.”

“Ah think the same!” Applejack interjected. “Ah just want Celestia to…give him a little nudge. Help him find somepony he likes, same as she did for Apple Tart.”

Rainbow sniggered again. “Aw, come off it, AJ. I know the real reason is that you’re just jealous that Big Mac’ll be a grandparent before you are.”

Applejack flushed. “That is — that is so rude, Rainbow!”

Rainbow Dash slung a hoof around her mate’s shoulders. “But you didn’t say it wasn’t true.”

Celestia smiled. The two of them had a unique dynamic, one that she enjoyed as much now as she had when they had come to her all those years ago for her advice prior to their wedding. Their love was palpable, even then, in the way they had looked at each other. Though their faces had aged and begun to wrinkle, their love was still the same, shining out of each of their eyes like little suns. If their son was anything like either of his mothers, she was sure he would be a wonderful young stallion.

“I wonder if you would fetch Zap Apple to meet with me? Nothing more than that.” she asked. “I have come all the way out here just to have a chat with him — and it’s difficult to do that while he’s in his room.”

Rainbow assented, and rather than going into the house, flew directly up to one of the first floor windows. She hammered on it with a hoof. “Zaps! Come on! The Princess is here.”

After a few more knocks the window begrudgingly scraped open. “Geez, Mum,” a voice said in a tone of complaint, “Do we really want to do this? You know that I’m not cool with it.”

Rainbow Dash’s wingbeats slowed a fraction and her ears tilted back in concern. “I know, kiddo. But your Mum really wants you to meet with the Princess. Give it a shot, huh? For her.”

A sigh, and then another pony was climbing out the window. His coat was a pale creamy yellow, and his mane was striped with red, orange and yellow, much like Rainbow Dash’s own. He spread his wings and flapped down after his mother, coming to land neatly on the fourth chair.

Celestia studied his face for a moment. His cheeks were speckled with the same freckles as his Apple kin, and his eyes were the same deep pink as Rainbow Dash’s. His muzzle showed a little of the broadness of Big Mac’s, but overall his build was trim and lean, a classic pegasus shape. His cutie mark — Celestia subtly leaned her head to one side to get a better look at it — was a whirlwind or tornado of some kind, in the same red-toned palette as his mane.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Zap Apple,” she began, and he nodded shortly.

“Your parents feel that they would like you to start thinking seriously about your future,” Celestia said carefully, trying to strike the right note. “Nopony wants to make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but I would like to help you to meet a few different ponies. The rest is completely up to you.”

Another nod from Zap Apple. His fuchsia eyes were hooded, resting sullenly on the ground.

“Ah would like Zaps to meet somepony who can steady him,” Applejack put in, when the silence began to stretch. “He leads a high-flyin’ lifestyle — always flittin’ from here to Appleoosa, wild parties every weekend, more mares and stallions in an’ out of his life than Ah can count.”

Rainbow Dash sighed again. “AJ, hon, he travels just as much as we did when we were working with Twilight and the map. And he works in Appleoosa. Would you rather he didn’t come home as much?”

Celestia got the strong impression that this was not the first time this discussion had taken place. Applejack was about to retort, when Celestia raised a gentle hoof.

“What is your job, Zap Apple?” she asked, hoping to draw him out with a simpler question.

He looked up at her, one flash of pink, and then down again, those heavy orange eyebrows pulling low. “Tornado creation.” His voice had the same country twang as Applejack’s, though to a slightly lesser degree.

Celestia had hoped for a more rounded answer, but squared her shoulders. She would work with what she was given. “And are you enjoying your work? Is your career progressing well?”

Zap Apple shrugged, and it was Rainbow Dash who answered. “Zaps is just the best in the biz. He’s nearly as strong a flier as I am. Coulda joined the Wonderbolts, if he’d wanted.” She beamed as she spoke, though the look she shot her son at the end of her final sentence made Celestia think that Rainbow Dash had very much wanted her son to follow her into a show-flying career.

“Or been a dang successful farm pony,” Applejack added. “He’s darn near as strong as an earth pony.”

Celestia nodded, beginning to get a sense of the family dynamics. Two very strong-willed and forceful parents, both subconsciously trying to push Zap Apple in two different directions. Perhaps it was no surprise he wasn’t saying much.

“But you chose tornado creation instead?” she prompted, looking directly at Zap Apple again.

He shrugged his wings. “Yeah.”

“What makes you enjoy it?” This was like getting blood from a stone.

He looked up again, a spark of something brightening his expression for a moment. “Its brilliant, being up there, riding the wind, making it stronger.” Then he seemed to catch himself and shook his heavy forelock over his eyes once more.

Celestia flared her own wings slightly in response. Yes, she knew the thrill of flight. In her younger days, she had loved to ride the monstrous storms that covered the mountains to the east, letting the lighting strike her and quicken her heartbeat, screaming her challenge back at the thunder’s roar.

“Would you say flying is perhaps one of your main interests?” she asked, levitating her trusty quill and notepad out from one of her saddlebags.

“Boy, is it!” Rainbow Dash cut in. “When he was a colt we’d race every morning — I always let him win, obviously, but then when he was older, he started being able to almost beat me for real!”

Celestia waited for Zap Apple’s own answer, but he only shrugged. “I guess.”

Celestia repressed a sigh of frustration. Perhaps the colt wasn’t being deliberately uncooperative. Possibly he was just naturally reticent; it wouldn’t be surprising, given the dominant personalities of his parents. Of course, she would be able to take this no further if Zap Apple himself was not interested in engaging. But for now, she might as well plumb Rainbow Dash and Applejack for what they wanted, and speak to Zap Apple in private later.

“So tell me,” she said, tapping the tips of her forehooves gently together, “what sort of partner you think would suit Zap Apple best?”

Applejack was immediately ready with an answer. “Ah think Zaps needs somepony to steady him. Somepony quiet, home-focused, with strong roots.” She shot an apologetic glance at Rainbow Dash. “An earth pony, if possible. An’ from a farmin’ family, if we can get it.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Pegasi aren’t all ‘flighty’, AJ.”

Applejack raised her hooves. “Ah know! But our marriage did wonders for both of us, didn’it? You sped me up, an’ Ah slowed ya down.”

Rainbow smiled a small smile. “Yeah, its pretty great. I’ll give you that much.”

“It sounds like you have in mind somepony with a similar background to Orange Peel, perhaps?” Celestia suggested.

Applejack nodded. “Sure. Big Mac an’ Sugar Belle are over the moon about how well she’s fitted into the family these past few years. An’ now we’ve our next lil’ Apple on the way.”

“And what do you think Zap Apple needs, Rainbow Dash?” Celestia turned now to the blue-coated mare.

Rainbow fiddled with the rolled up sleeve of her flight jacket as she considered the question. “Well, I think AJ’s right — somepony steady could help Zaps get steadier himself. I’m not so sure it needs to be an earth pony or a farm pony. I just want them to have interests in common with Zaps.”

Celestia noted these down and asked a few more questions. Both parents were continuously quick to answer, but Zap Apple himself stayed resolutely silent.

Eventually, Celestia suggested that she speak to Zap Apple alone. Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged apprehensive glances, but both got to their hooves and went into the cottage. Celestia tried to ignore the twitches of the curtain covering the kitchen window, and the glimpses of pink and green eyes staring furtively from behind it.

“Tell me, Zap Apple,” she tried again. “What do you want from a potential mate? What would you like to share with them?”

Zap Apple held up a hoof to stop her. “Listen, Princess, let’s cut to the chase.”

Celestia blinked in surprise, but let him continue.

“My Mum and Great-Granny have forced my hoof,” he said, his tone one of displeasure. “They’ve made it clear that they want me to get married sooner rather than later. Just like golden-hoofed Apple Tart, who can do no wrong.” The resentment in his voice was strong.

“You don’t want to follow the same path as your cousin?” Celestia prompted.

“No!” Zap Apple spread his wings to emphasise the word. “He’s a goody four-shoes who never puts a hoof wrong, and the whole family is obsessed with him.” He pitched his voice higher, and put on a stronger country accent. “Oh, why cain’t ya be more like ya cousin, Zaps? We jus’ want ya to be happy!” He snorted. “As if being like Apple Tart would make me happy. He’s never going to leave Sweet Apple Acres.”

“But you want to leave?”

Zap Apple stared at her. “I already did! I work in Appleoosa, and I live there. I know my mums probably gave you the opposite impression, but I’m a fully grown stallion with a life of my own. I might like to party a bit, sure, but just because the Elements of Loyalty and Honesty would never do that, it doesn’t mean it’s a sin!”

Celestia nodded, her expression sympathetic. “It must have been hard to grow up, with two Bearers for mothers. That’s a lot of pressure for a colt.”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Zap Apple breathed out hard through his nostrils and ran a hoof through his untidy mop of hair. “I love being in Appleoosa. No one cares who my parents are — the other Apples there keep out of my way, and I keep out of theirs. I have my own friends, my own life.”

“Tell me about your friends.” Celestia seized on that detail. A pony’s friends could tell you a great deal about the pony themselves.

Zap Apple fidgeted in his chair. “I don’t know — I have a big friendship circle. I see a lot of different ponies.”

Celestia’s ears tilted forwards. “You don’t have many close friends, then?”

Zap Apple’s eyes narrowed. “I have plenty, thanks for asking, Princess. More close friends than I can count on my hooves.”

“Would you care to…tell me any of their names?” Celestia didn’t want to push too hard and alienate him, but she did need answers if she was going to help Zap Apple find a partner.

Zap Apple coloured. “I— I see a lot of different ponies,” he stuttered. “My friends from outside of work, my team-mates on the tornado squad: Butterball, Skylight, Swooping Song.”

“Team-mates, but not friends?” Celestia probed, trying hard to keep her voice soft and understanding.

“I don’t like to mix work and play.” Zap Apple looked away.

Celestia sat back, digesting the information. So that was the way things were for Zap Apple. A clear desire to excel, a strong streak of independence, but a fear of being lesser than his wildly successful parents. A certain air of loneliness, tempered by a reluctance to get close to other ponies. She resisted the urge to rub her hooves together. She did so love a challenge.

“I think you know that your parents only want the best for you, Zap Apple,” she said kindly.

Zap Apple gave a short jerk of his head. Barely enough to be called a nod.

“Would you be willing to humour them and meet with a couple of the ponies I suggest?”

He shrugged again. “Don’t think I have much choice.”

“But you do,” Celestia leaned forward, her tone earnest. “In this more than anything else, the choice can only be yours. Your parents can make suggestions and I can introduce you to ponies, but only you can decide. You can decide who you want to spend time with. Who you might want to build something of your own with.”

Her words were chosen carefully, and she watched Zap Apple’s expression as they sunk in. His mind worked, and then he looked up once more, meeting her gaze and holding it for the first time.

“Alright. We’ll give it a shot. But I’m making no promises that I’m going to marry anypony.”

Author's Note:

As a little bonus, here's some art of Zaps that I did -

Comments

[Immortalmagi]

I really like the art of Zap Apple! It's fun to see a child of AppleDash, who clearly takes after both of them,

[Boltstrike58]

Oh hey, Granny Smith isn't actually dead.

[skylightvector]

Zap Apple, that's new. You really molded him well, I'd say this is the best AppleDash kid I've seen so far. He's so well-balanced, he could pass as canon.

[NovemberDragon]

So nice chapter! Granny Smith is alive - its great! And Zap Apple - amazing child of a wonderful couple!

[SugarHoneyIceTea123]

So, I’m a little confused here. Zap seems to be a biological son of both Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Which is not a problem, this is a fantasy world of magic after all. I can certainly suspend my disbelief for a magical lesbian spawn.

My question is, if two mares can have a biological child in this world.... Why did Starlight and Trixie need Sunburst as a donor?

[Shaslan]

10528723
Ah, hang in there - that'll be explained in a later RD chapter

[RegMoDII]

10528723
I just chalked it up to him being sired by Big Mac

[nautica]

10528798 wait why can't i see the art you made anymore?

[Shaslan]

11793392
Huh, not sure why the link was broken, but I've fixed it now! Thanks for notifying me