After a little agonising and several drafts, Zap Apple dutifully sent his letter to Leaftail. Upon receiving a rather terse reply, he was in the Hayseed Diner at the appointed time. He waited impatiently, his hooves tapping a brisk rhythm against the table. It had been impossible to tell from that brief missive what sort of reception he would be met with. Just a simple “I’ll see you there” gave him nothing to work with.
But when she walked in, her brown tail swishing alluringly from side to side as she came, he couldn’t help but hope a little. Leaftail was a pony as laid back as himself. They both loved adventure, they both wanted to explore the world they lived in, and neither of them were in a rush. And last night had been wonderful, whatever Princess Celestia’s opinion might be. Surely things couldn’t go too wrong.
He wasn’t sure he could take another “You’re not right for me.” Dust Devil’s words still wounded him.
But Leaftail kept her gaze firmly on the table, and waited until the waiter arrived to take their orders before she spoke at all. “I’ll have a jasmine chai latte, please.”
When she still didn’t say anything to begin the conversation Celestia had demanded that they have, Zap Apple’s hopes began to wilt.
Doing his best to swallow his nerves, he reached across the table for her hoof. “It’s good to see you again.”
Her cloven hoof lay in his like a dead thing, and she said nothing.
Feeling bitterly disappointed at something he couldn’t quite quantify, Zap Apple released his grip. “It seems like we…messed up.”
Leaftail didn’t meet his eyes. “Yeah.”
Zap Apple tried for a little humour. “Auntie Tia come down on you like a ton of bricks too?”
The corners of Leaftail’s mouth lifted slightly. “Yeah.”
Zap Apple worked his jaw. Princesses, it hadn’t been this awkward last night, had it? Why wouldn’t she look him in the face?
“So — ah — are you interested in — maybe meeting up again? Going on another date?” He had thought he really liked her. Now he was beginning to doubt it. It certainly didn’t seem like she liked him all that much anymore. “I mean — Auntie Tia said I should clear up any misunderstandings, make it clear where we both stand—”
Leaftail finally looked up, her eyes a flash of amber. “She said the same to me.”
Zap Apple struggled to read the meaning in her expression. “A-and?”
Leaftail hooded her eyes again. Zap Apple wanted to scream. Why wouldn’t she talk to him?
“Leaftail?” he tried again, reaching across the tabletop once more.
She snatched her hoof away, and Zaps flushed crimson. The rejection stung.
“And I think Auntie Tia’s right,” she said finally. “I think we did make a mistake, and I don’t think it’s a good start to a process that might end in…” she paused, but there was no tiptoeing around the word, “Might end in marriage.”
Zap Apple looked at his hooves. Scuffed the carpet beneath the table. Leaftail had seemed so perfect for him, so similar to his own personality. He had liked Leaftail the most out of anypony he’d met with, aside from Dust Devil. She…this was worth one more try. “I think…I think that we could start it however we liked. Couldn’t we?”
Leaftail shook her head, the movement short and abrupt. “I’m sorry, Zap Apple. I’m sure you’re the right mate for somepony — but not for me. I just don’t want to take this any further.”
Zap Apple felt the air leave his body. He felt as though he’d been kicked in the stomach. He searched for words, but found he had none. She hadn’t even told him why. She had looked at him, assessed him as coldly as a pony buying bread at the market, and found him wanting. He had been tossed back onto the stall without even a word of explanation.
Seeing his expression closing up like a turtle receding into its shell, Leaftail tossed him one more scrap of information.
“I’m pulling out of the whole thing.”
Looking up again, Zap Apple blinked. “I — what?”
She shrugged. “I’m done. Nothing my Grandpop wants is worth this kind of pressure. It might work for some ponies — my friend Lustre Dawn is obsessed with the pony Celestia gave her — but I just can’t take having a literal princess of Equestria barge into my private caving tour groups demanding to know why I did or didn’t bang a certain pony.”
“I’m sorry,” Zap Apple whispered. “I didn’t know she’d done that.”
A grim smile flashed across Leaftail’s muzzle. “Yeah, well. Never mind the impact that’s gonna have on my business — it’s just not worth it any more. No offence, Zap Apple, I had fun on our date — sorta — but you’re just not worth this sort of hassle. Nopony is.”
The thudding of his heart faltered and stuttered, and Zap Apple’s ribs felt like a cage around his lungs.
Suddenly all he wanted was to get out of that oppressive little room. Away from the mare who had trampled all over the fragile little white flag that he had tried to offer.
He jumped to his hooves and started for the door. Leaftail made a little noise of surprise, but he didn’t look back. There were too many tears prickling in his eyes for that. “Don’t worry. I won’t bother you again.”
He let the door slam behind him and leaned against it for a moment, breathing hard. He was back to square one. No, worse that square one. Before he’d embarked on this horrendous journey, he’d had a reasonable life. He’d gone every week to Appleoosa, done his job, found pleasure in the thrill of his work and the fleeting companionship of his squadmates, and then come home every weekend to bask in the soothing embrace of his family. He had thought he was happy.
But the brief flashes of companionship that had been shown to him had made him realise an awful, sinking truth. Zap Apple was lonely — deeply, secretly, heartrendingly lonely.
And now another chance at happiness had been snatched away. He’d have to go back to his mothers, face their disappointment, their concern, and worst of all, their compassion. And then he would have to go back to Auntie Tia, cap in hoof, and ask her to begin the whole nightmare process all over again.
Zap Apple doesn't deserve this. Thanks a lot, Celestia.
This is getting ridiculous.
man FUCK Celestia
you're really working hard to make me hate my favorite pony, you know that?
Zap should really follow Leaftail's example and get out of there. This clearly isn't working for him.
Alright, now its been made crystal clear just how absolutely ridiculous Celestia is being. Now the question is how everypony handles it.
Celestia's screwups runs deep.
She didnt just mess up their relationships. She messed up their mental states and desires for relationships.
Zap was happy when he was single but when he found a partner happy to move at the same pace as him she barged in a ruined it instilling a sense of loneliness in him.
And Leaftail doesnt want to continue looking because of the stress and the effect its having on her and potentially her business.
Damn, Celestia really messed up here. I hope someone talks some sense into her. Maybe let Cozy have a go at it. I suppose Cheese and Celestia are the only ones that seem happy in the cover art...
I think this screwup gives Celestia a place to go, she can improve as a character, we don't particularly like her now but later we can see her grow
Oh my God, Leaftail... and Celestia, you got them to meet, now STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT and let things go where they may! Good God... poor Zap Apple.
Zap Apple: Celestia, you have ruined my life. You helped me meet a nice gal, but because of your pressure about marriage, she never wants to see me again. Moms, I am sorry, but I am done with this whole arranged marriage NONSENSE. Celestia, don't bother ever sending me another letter, as they will just go into the fire. And if I ever see you in Appleloosa, I will send you away by twister. Actually, why wait. *blasts into the sky and starts circling around faster and faster*
AJ: Dash, stop him!
RD: No.
AJ: What?
RD: Celestia can do it herself, if she really wants to. I actually think Zap is right. This whole pushing him into a relationship just for marriage is dumb. We knew each other for years. We should let him find his own love in his own time. Celestia, I give you 10 more seconds before a twister pulls you up into the sky.
I feel so sorry for poor zap apple! It's not going well for him. I hope he finds someone to be with.
I think Celestia's intentions are good, I think she's genuinely trying. Her delivery was not good.
10518746
This. Zap needs to ignore his Mom's and Celestia in this matter. Heartbreak isn't worth it if that is all you are gonna get from the misgivings of others.
So because going at it too fast has a higher chance of failure, Celestia forcefully pushes them apart herself. Brilliant move.
But Celestia isn't the only one at fault here. Dash' need to stroke her massive ego by showing of with her son started this mess after all.
10518652 This sounds like a job for Cadance!
I think Celestia needs to learn a certain lesson herself. I know that trial and error is helpful in this sort of business, but she seems to be aiming for absolute perfection when matching ponies together. At the slightest hiccup on the literal first date she deems them incompatible and completely ignores the possibility of herself being wrong. I hope she ends up learning it since it seems to me like she's been running her business like this since it started. An overall weak performance that I'm surprised lasted this long.
Wait, did they actually bang? I'm confused, I thought they only kissed but Leaftail did get accused with that very word and didn't set it right either.
She seemed like she realized she made a mistake with Zap, so I'm surprised she went and repeated the same mistake right after. And in such an utterly disrespectful, humiliating manner. Don't harass people at their jobs, Tia. I hate to sling the word 'karen' about, but this is exactly the kind of behavior it was adopted to describe.