Auntie Tia's Matchmaking Service

by Shaslan

Chapter 11

Zap Apple spent a few bitter days mulling over his most recent letter from Princess Celestia, which gently informed him that Dust Devil didn’t feel confident enough in his intentions to meet with him again.

Getting through the seemingly endless workdays was tough; he didn’t fly as strongly as he usually did, and his team noticed. They gave him a little stick about having to pick up his slack, but they didn’t ride him too hard, and they certainly didn’t offer any comfort. It wasn’t until he went home at the weekend that he could break down and tell his mothers what had happened.

Applejack’s first instinct was to hug and soothe her poor boy, which Zap Apple tearfully accepted. But Rainbow Dash’s reaction was less comforting; she leapt to her hooves and swore she would kick Dust Devil off the Wonderbolts once and for all.

“I don’t give a buck how strong a flier she is,” she raged. “Nopony treats my kid like this!”

“Sit down, Sugarcube,” Applejack said, over the top of Zap Apple’s head. “Stormin’ in blazin’ mad ain’t gonna help poor Zaps none, is it?”

“No,” Zaps added mournfully. “It’ll just humiliate me even more — and prove her right that I’m immature and have to rely on my parents to come get me out of trouble.”

Rainbow Dash deflated, her wings wilting down from their upright position. “Oh. I guess you’re right.”

“But there is another option, Shug,” Applejack said softly.

Zap Apple perked up and pricked his ears. “What?”

“Have ya considered thinkin’ about whether ya might be open to what she wants?” Applejack said carefully.

Zap Apple flicked his ears. “What do you mean, Mum?”

“Ah mean — why not give some serious thought as to whether you’d be open to marriage and foals in the next couple a’ years?”

Zap Apple sighed. He knew that was the future his mum wanted for him. But he had no idea whether that was the future he wanted for himself. He tried to imagine what he would be like as a father, what his and Dust Devil’s foals might look like, and he drew a total blank. He’d barely ever been in a serious relationship before. How could he predict what his marriage would be like?

A knock at the door interrupted them, and Rainbow darted to answer it. It was Big Mac, their post in his mouth. “Thanks, Mac,” Rainbow said distractedly, taking them from him. “See you at dinner, yeah? We’re kinda in the middle of something here.”

“Ayup,” agreed Big Mac in his usual laconic fashion, and turned to plod away, the same stolid pace he always went at.

Zap Apple watched Rainbow Dash shuffle idly through the mail, and then freeze as she reached one of the letters. “Hey,” she said suddenly, her tone becoming more urgent. “It’s another one from Princess Celestia.”

Zap Apple jumped up at once from where he had been lying in Applejack’s comforting embrace, a detritus of tissues and handkerchiefs falling away from him as he went. He sprang towards the letter, gliding up and over the kitchen table, and snatched the envelope in his mouth.

“D’ya think Dust Devil has changed her mind?” Applejack asked eagerly.

“Pfft, she wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit her on the ass,” Rainbow snorted.

Zap Apple tore the letter open with his teeth, and pulled it out eagerly. To his surprise, a new photo fell out. A beige-coated kirin with a seaweed-coloured mane smiled up at him. Her teeth were very sharp. Frowning, he scooped the photo up and set it on the table. Could Princess Celestia be sending him another match already?

He unfolded the letter and scanned it quickly.

Dear Zap Apple,
After some serious thought on your needs following your date with Dust Devil, I have decided that Leaftail might be a suitable match for you. Leaftail is very new to this process as well, and like you, isn’t quite sure what she wants to get out of it. Like yourself, Leaftail is a very adventurous young kirin. She is an outdoor adventure guide; she leads groups of ponies on rock climbing trips, as well as caving and spelunking. In the process of getting to know her, I went on one of her spelunking expeditions myself. It was a real challenge, I can tell you! If you are keen to meet her, I will ask her if you can join her on a private adventure. I will await your reply by return of post.
Kind regards,
Your Auntie Tia
(Princess Celestia, Ruler of the Day…oh, you know the rest by now).

As he read, both of his parents came to flank him, reading carefully over his shoulder. Applejack scooped up the detailed profile, her eyes scanning carefully scanning each line.

“She looks nice,” Rainbow said from Zap Apple’s left.

“Ah don’t know,” Applejack frowned. “Poor ol’ Zaps is still all torn up about Dust Devil. An’ a kirin is a very…different culture to ours.”

Zap Apple bridled at that. “Oh, come off it, Mum. We already talked about this. You can’t assume anything about ponies based on their species.”

Applejack’s frown deepened. “Ah ain’t assuming nothing, you dumb colt. You’re forgetting it was me who made contact with the kirin. An’ Autumn Blaze is still one of my best friends.”

“Then why—?”

“‘Cause I’ve seen the things that can happen when they get mad and the nirik come out,” Applejack snapped. “An’ I don’t know that a mellow, anxious little kid like you can handle that kinda heat.”

Zap Apple frowned and folded his hooves. “Well, I can’t just moon around after Dust Devil forever.” Even as he said it, the words hardened his resolve. He wouldn’t sit around waiting for her to change her mind. They had been on one date. She wasn’t his soulmate or anything like that. There were plenty of other seaponies in the sea. “Yeah, I think I will go meet her. Leaftail. She sounds sort of cool.” At least from what Princess Celestia said, she wouldn’t be expecting marriage or foals anytime soon.

“Ah still don’t think—”

“Oh, come on, you old gloomygrumps,” Rainbow said affectionately. “I think it’s great that Zaps wants to get back out there. We need to support him.”

Applejack muttered mutinously for a moment more, but then subsided. Zap Apple gave them both a grateful hug, and then took flight once more to head up to his room and pen his reply to the Princess.

Comments

[NovemberDragon]

Nice chapter!

[RegMoDII]

Fuck you, Rainbow Dash. Shame.