Lacy, a human from Earth wakes up in Equestria. Luckily ponies are welcoming and helpful and tries their best to get him home but that takes time. Worse thing is that he's not completely himself. And the difference in culture can also cause problems.
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Applejack has really got to get over him lying to his mom. Considering she wasn't always honest applejack a almost got her brother hurt physically because of her lies which is a lot worse than lying in order to choose your destiny. You don't see her family holding Grudges over her mistakes.
1. If you use Google drive, it backs it up before deleting any of it. Even when you close tabs.
2. Great chapter; keep it up!!!
3. Pineapples.
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1. Yeah, I could and probably should use something that constantly saves my work.
2. Thanks!!!
3. Umm... I’ve got nothing.
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XD
As a bit of criticism, I've gotta say that you used commas WAY too much in this. Like using them every 4 or 5 words makes it feel like my brain is stuttering. Many of the commas used in this are wholly unnecessary and a simple space would suffice with it. For an example,
This was simply difficult to read with all the breaks so close to one another The reader instinctually hitches, making the whole paragraph feel stuttery. So as an example of a, in my view, better way to write it,
It feels to me like it's much easier to read, and flows much more smoothly from one part to the next. Just one of many examples in this and something to keep in mind.
Aside from that, really enjoying the story so far, though I really hope AJ gets that metal pole out of her plot sometime soon.......
So she wasn't being completely honest to her friend. She wants to do the promise without really doing it. Even then she failed since by revealing this to the one she's supposed to start over with how could lacy have pleasant memories from her? No matter how you slice it she lied to Twilight and completely shattered any attempt at achieving the promise, until she is actually being genuine about it. Never thought I could be more annoyed with Applejack here. I can only hope when she sees the error the her ways she has to pay hard to make up for them.
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Commas... my worst enemy! Its usage is one of the things I don’t understand in English grammar, though I’m pretty sure it’s not that complex or hard to understand. I use Grammarly, which often shows me if a comma is unnecessary (yes, I put even more into the text...) but it’s probably not enough.
Thanks for pointing this out, it really helps me to improve myself. And I’m also glad that you enjoy my story. I hope I can keep it up.
Oh, Twilight. This was not the right way to solve this issue. AJ should never have agreed to this, and she shouldn’t have said anything about it either. It’s going to get worse.
Bravo on the reveal, author!! Definitely had me wondering.