• Published 18th Aug 2020
  • 1,478 Views, 92 Comments

Books, Bats, and Bad Mojo - Yuri Petrovitch



Desmond's luck has run out, but will he find it in a dusty old bookstore? And why does everyone who works there seem really into horse puns?

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Books, Brawn, and Booms

Cool winds and rain laden clouds brought in straight from Cloudsdale signaled the beginning of the several months long rainy season in Vanhoover. From now until mid Spring the city would become a bit more damp and chilly, which wasn't great flying weather but perfect for staying inside with a good book weather.

Melody didn't mind being cooped up during this season, being inside just reminded her of home back in Hallow Shades... If her home was covered in a gigantic landslide of books.

Gah, why did I have to go and say to Desmond that we've 'cleaned up' the store?! The mare grabbed another bundle of books in her hooves that needed sorting, each flap of her leathery wings created eddies of dust like miniature dust devils. Stupid liar... Now he's gonna be mad that you didn't tell the truth when he comes by. The thought of the odd yet admittedly cute red headed unicorn visiting spurred Melody to increase her pace.

Glancing over the still unsorted mounds to go dropped the mare's spirits further, Oh Luna! I'll never get this done in time...

A gentle rapping at the store's glass door caused the bat pony's ears to immediately swivel to it, turning the rest of her head to the entrance Melody saw only a stack of dusty books blocking her view. Anxiously the mare dropped off her bundle and flew through the hard cover maze, desperately wishing it was only the wind, there shouldn't be any customers after the incident made Biblious put out a 'closed for renovation' sign.

Feeling her blood grow increasingly colder as she rounded the last obstacle Melody saw a pony was indeed standing out front, though the raincoat covering them up disguised who they were at a glance.

Taking a moment to compose herself Melody stopped just short of the door, It's okay, you've got this, just tell them that the store is closed and send them on their way... Easy as moth pie... Just don't let your anxiety freeze up or scare them off. Easy...

The pony on the other side of the door was about to rap the glass with her hoof once more when the door suddenly shot open. From inside the gloomy storefront two bright yellow slit eyes shone like torches as they began to reflect the light from the street lamps. Caught off guard by the sudden appearance and the predator like eyes the pony shrieked as their back legs gave out. "SWEET CELESTIA!"

The Thestral covered her sensitive ears and dropped to the ground as her head kept ringing from the sonic attack.

With both ponies unable to move, either due to their legs loosing all their strength or their hearing being scrambled they at last had a good chance to see who the other actually was.

"Melody?" the pink mare asked, pulling the hood down from her locks of magenta hair.

"...N-urse T-tulip?" Melody asked back in recognition of the sister of her new pen pal Jubilee.

Since the first time she had visited the hospital the calmer of the two sisters had kept in touch with writing letters back and forth; turns out Blooming Jubilee was quite the avid gardener, in the letters they both shared tips and progress they each made with their respective flower beds. Though, the act of writing out each conversation helped Melody greatly in getting past her communication disorder they never really connected personally or met outside the hospital. So to see the Earth pony sister of the two at the bookstore was a bit of a surprise.

Tulip recovered fairly fast, standing back up on her hooves and shaking the rainwater off her coat, much like a giant yellow rubber puppy. "Jeeze! You scared the life outta me! Suddenly popping out of the dark like that! And why don't you have any lights on?"

The still reeling from seeing an unexpected acquaintance and the shock from a mere moment ago the other mare chose to default to her normal response to too many things happening at once: retreat.

A powerful flap of her wings gave Melody enough lift to bring her about a few feet in the air. With a further aerial flip of her body turned the bat around to face the opposite direction, she was about to zip off into the safety of the book store before something abruptly halted her momentum. Turning her head around Melody saw that Tulip had jumped up and had bitten into a mouthful of midnight blue tail.

"eeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Melody's frightened shriek made the pink hair clip flatten her ears in discomfort, but otherwise she kept her grip on the hair.

"Iou rgn't grrttnn uaai hkaat eeelii!" You aren't getting away that easily!

It wasn't much of a contest, as even though Melody's wingspan would normally mean she could have carried a pony of similar weight with ease... Except she hadn't been keeping to her normal training regime and quickly became exhausted from the effort of holding a full pony aloft. It also hurt her tail tremendously to be pulled down so hard.

Halting her flapping wings the bat pony landed back on the ground at the entrance once more. "A-all right! All right! Just let go already!"

Spitting out the hairs still left in her mouth Tulip gave a glance, "You know Ms. Bluebell, for somepony that seems to scare others a lot you seem to be the most 'flighty' mare I know!"

Rubbing her tail Melody glared tearfully back at the aggressive Earth Pony, "T-that hurt..."

Looking at how the all played out Tulip wasn't sure she had handled that correctly, normally she was used to other ponies going along with her phyical nature, that or they got what was coming to them. But Melody wasn't like those colts, she was obviously a much more delicate case. "Alright, that was uncalled for and I'm sorry I hurt you... Just didn't want you flying away when I desperately need to get some answers about one of my patients..."

At that the tuffs on the bat pony's ears flicked back up. There was only one patient that she could have been referring to that both of them were involved with.

"O-oh... Well, in that case I'll accept your apology, but on the condition you promise not to bite my tail again."

Tulip gave a quick nod and placed a hoof on her chest, "I swear it!"

Over the next few moments both mares awkwardly re-introduced themselves, with Melody offered the nurse to come inside but one look at the state of the floor blocked by tomes and soft covers made her counter with a proposal to head across the street to the local food joint.

"O-oh I-I couldn't!" Melody stammered, "I-I've got work to do!"

Tulip quirked an eyebrow up, "You really think a few minutes away to take a break is going to matter to that mess? Besides, it'll be my treat for what happened earlier."

Melody didn't have a solid argument against that train of logic, so she sheepishly grinned and told the mare she would be right back after informing her boss she'd be out for a few minutes.

Not too long after both were sitting down at a dinner table at Big Bill's Queso, a Marexico themed joint staffed mainly by... Rather muscled Minotours.

Melody wasn't too good around crowds to begin with, but the sight of the towering bipedal Minotours didn't help her anxiety, she felt too helpless and fragile next to anything twice her height.

Tulip on the other hoof was enjoying herself a little too much as she eyed up a passing dark brown furred Mino, grinning like a schoolfilly as she observed all the toned muscles to her heart's content.

A black and white spotted Minitour came up to their table with a pen and paper in hand, giving a winning smile of perfectly white teeth, "Hola and welcome to the BBQ! What can I get you lovely SeƱorias?"

"WOOF! I-I m-mean, we'd like some water for now! Thanks! We'll order some muscle-! I MEAN our meals in a bit!" Tulip's fur coat glowed a brighter shade of red after she caught herself.

The Minitour raised his eyebrows somewhat but kept his professional act up. "Oooh kay... Just let me know when you'd like to order."

As the sligtly disturbed bull left the table Tulip face hooved herself. Hard. "...Celestia damn it..."

Melody for her part was just staring in abject shock at the brazen sexual harassment. If her jaw was any lower it would have hit the table.

The nurse noticed her companion's silence and took stock of her reaction. "...I'm sorry, I've just been a bit stressed lately. Unfortunately I haven't had any chances to unwind in... Ages now."

"Oh. OH!" Melody's fur coloured and she had to fight the wing reflexes as she could imagine how Tulip usually 'destressed'. "Umm, not my place to judge really... But as long as they're consenting I guess..."

Tulip stared for a moment at the quietly fidgeting Thestral before bursting out laughing, "My oh my! Aren't you just precious!" Leaning over the counter to rest her head in her hooves Tulip gave a sultry wink, "Whatever you were thinking Mel is a league away from how I actually unwind. Who knew a book worm would have such an imagination?"

"H-hey! I-I'm not the mare that's ogling her w-waiter!"

Leaning back the pink mare shrugged in indifference, "'Not my place to judge?' Well, I'll let you know I'm in it purely for the muscles, nothing more."

It was Melody's turn to be shocked once again, "What? B-but you said-"

"-And I was joshing with you!" the smugly grinning nurse interrupted, "I'm actually into sports and training muscles for athletes, my dream is to become an Equestria Games certified orthopedic specialist one day. I just have a big passion for well trained muscles."

"Oh!" the Thestral's eyes went wide with realization, then made a wince at how she'd over reacted. "Sorry."

"...Looking at all the hunks along the way doesn't hurt the eyes either," Tulip admitted with a wicked grin. Melody gave her an earful after that.

Soon enough another waiter passed by and before they knew it two plates loaded with cheesy goodness brought out piping hot. Tulip dug into her cactus flower quesadilla with gusto while Melody nibbled on her plate of nachos with mango salsa.

It wasn't until Tulip finished her margarita did she decide to start asking some of the real questions she had for the timid bat pony. Sure, her sister Blooming had gone through the official hospital procedure and filled out the forms as best she could, but the real answers might come out after a few mango daiquiris were offered to butter her target up... And by the amount of empty glasses that were pilling up it was about time to strike!

"So Melody, what do you think about Desmond?"


Several blocks away and in a hospital room eating his platter of hospital gruel a certain unicorn stallion could have sworn he hear a high pitched screech. Reaching up with a cream coloured hoof he tried to dig at his new ears on his head. "Huh, am I getting tinnitus?"


"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!" Tulip shoved a hoof into the source of the sonic assault, halting the screech but not the ringing she still felt in her ears. Looking over the face she currently had her foreleg planted in Tulip observed the wide eyes with golden irises like pinpricks, the massive blush radiating heat like a furnace, and the taut leather bat wings on either side of the pony... All because she asked about what she thought of that weirdo... No, that couldn't be...

"Oh. My. Faust." Tulip's mouth twisted into a shit eating grin, "You like D-" Turns out putting your hoof inside a bat's mouth was a bad idea, as two fangs bit down on the pink limb. The glare Melody shot at Tulip was unfocused and not at all threatening, but the message was conveyed well enough. "Alright, alright! I'll step off that, but for now we gotta scram! I think you broke every champagne glass from here to Baltimare!"

The other patrons and staff in Big Bill's were still clinging to their ear drums in pain and picking up the shards of glass all across the floor. Luckily enough no pony or mino were in any state to stop the pair of mares as Tulip slapped down a bag of bits and practically dragged a drunk bat out the front.

Author's Note:

Boom baby! Another chapter down! Only a few more before we get out of that dang hospital and get some dang answers! Like, how's Discord involved? Did that mob guy find a clue? Was there really a second shooter at the grassy knoll? Can adults see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?!?

Find out in the next chapter of Bat Ball Z!