A Hogwarts Overtale

by Tums Festival

The Alchemist's Lair

“Alright, game time,” Sunset said, confidently pounding a fist into her palm. “You’re up, Frisk. What can you see?”

Frisk concentrated, her eyes growing a slightly eerie, yet warm red. She glanced around the dungeon hall for a second, before shaking her head, her eyes returning to normal. "Sorry, not SOUL in sight. Save for ours, of course."

Sunset brought a hand to her chin. "So either she hasn't gotten here yet…"

"Or she found a way in already," Luna continued.

"Whelp, that was fun," Flowey said. "Can we go now?"

"You didn't have to come, you know," Sunset pointed out, before turning back to the shimmering barrier. "Hm. What kind of spell is this, anyway? It kind of reminds me of a barrier spell back home, but I can't be sure."

"What would happen if we tried to walk through it?" Frisk asked.

"Why don't you try it and find out?" Flowey cackled. "Just don't take me with you."

"If it is a barrier spell, it just wouldn't let us through," Sunset explained. "It would be like trying to walk through a solid wall. However, there are spells that look similar that can have… nastier effects. I'm starting to wish I had learned more about spell identification. That way we could--

She paused, raising her eyebrows as a crumpled piece of paper flew through it, coming from the direction of Luna. As it hit the floor on the other side, Sunset noted it didn’t seem damaged at all. A small ripple effect on the shield was the only evidence any interaction took place at all.

"Well, that works," Sunset shrugged.

"That's why I wanted a stick," Luna said happily.

“So what?” Flowey said, now a bit curious himself. “Is it just supposed to be an over the top ‘no trespass’ sign? Pffft, leave it to the Federation to be all flash, no substance--”

Just then, they heard the echo of voices from further beyond the barrier. Then came the thud of heavy boots coming their way.

"Uh oh," Sunset gulped.

"Huh, guess they’re not as terrible after all," Flowey laughed, before giving Luna a taunting look. "Nice job, Loony. Maybe try sharing with the group the next time you want to do something dumb?"

"Seems reasonable," was her only reply, and in the same dreamy tone she usually used.

Flowey gazed at her quizzically. “What, no attempt at a comeback? No retort?”

“Why would I?” Luna questioned.

“Hmmm,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “You’re growing oddly resistant to my taunts. Or at least pretending to be.” His eyes narrowed further, to the point where they almost resembled Frisk’s. “This annoys me.”

"Uh, maybe save the banter for another time?" Sunset said, signalling the group duck into a nearby, unused classroom. “We need to hide!”

Everyone eagerly complied. Everyone except...

"Luna, what are you doing?!" Frisk called from within the classroom, the door still creaked open slightly.

"Stay there," she said, smiling slightly. "I have an idea."

Flowey face-ferned. "I'd say she's lost it, but that ship sailed a long time ago."

Sunset was about to call for her herself, and possibly physically drag her into the empty classroom, when she was forced to halt at the sound of echoing voices closing in. She barely had time to close the door before they were close enough to really understand.

"... Probably just another rodent," a woman said. "I swear, that alarm spell's as sensitive as my stomach is to human cheese. Second time it's activated in five minutes."

"I hear ya',” a second, a man said. “I don't get why they don't just send some more guards. Only need one more and we could cover the entry points. Wouldn't need this magic crap."

"I don’t know about that. No need to make others suffer. We're MACO for The Light's sake! We should be out on the frontier or fighting demons, not sitting at home guarding some science project."

"Heh, just don't tell the CO that. Her girlfriend is neck deep in this Synrium…"

They suddenly halted, and despite Sunset having closed the classroom door, she knew why.

"Hello, there!" she heard Luna say in a friendly tone.

"Uh, hi," the male MACO guard said. At this distance, Sunset could hear a slight bit of a flange to his voice. Whoever the guard was didn’t seem to be of species she knew of. "What are you doing here, kid? You weren’t messing around with the barrier, were you?"

“Huh? No,” Luna said innocently.

“Eh, she doesn’t look like the type, Tarquin,” the other said. “At least not the type to do it purposefully. If it was an accident, just say it so, young one. You won’t get in trouble.”

“I promise you, I didn’t touch it,” Luna said. “Though I do recall hearing a group of students near here a second ago.”

“Other students, huh?” Tarquin asked in a suspicious tone. “Were they those… Slythereens or whatever they’re called?”

“I’m not sure, though I did hear them giggling about something.”

“Hah, figures,” Tarquin said. “Maybe it hasn’t been critters after all, Sylvanas.”

“Wouldn’t doubt it,” Sylvanas said. “Their common room is nearby, too. Leave it to a group with their reputation to live in a dungeon. I said it during the briefing: that group still has an aura of darkness about it. After what their elders did, I’m surprised the entire house hasn’t been disbanded.”

“Fancy way of saying ‘they’re trouble’, but I hear ya’,” Tarquin replied. “Honestly? You up for a little preventative guarding?”

“Which means?”

“We go and bust them.”

Sylvanas laughed. “By that you mean we take our frustrations of our current posting out on a group of foolish children?”

“Yep.”

Slyvanus chuckled. “As the humans say, ‘I’m game’.”

“Nice,” Tarquin chuckled. “Have any idea where they went, kid?”

“That way would be the most likely,” Luna said.

Sunset could just imagine Luna innocently pointing them in a particular direction, and she couldn’t help but smile. She would be surprised that a somewhat shy, lovable oddball like Luna would have it in her to pull this sort of trick, but then again, she wasn’t exactly someone you could judge on a glance.

“Thanks,” Tarquin said. “Come on, Sylvanas. Let’s go head them off. The CO won’t mind. She kind of likes people taking the initiative.”

“Very well,” she said. “I’ve been wanting to study more of this castle, anyway. Arthurian-age architecture was quite advanced for its time. Relative to the rest of the Terran Continent, at least...”

Their voices quickly trailed off, which was good, because Sunset and Frisk could barely contain their laughter. Peaking out the classroom door, they beamed at Luna, who gave them her usual whimsical smile.

“Wow, Luna, that was super brave of you!” Frisk said, walking up to her with the rest of the group.

“I’ll say!” Sunset laughed. “How did you know they’d buy your story?”

“I didn’t,” Luna said plainly.

“So you just got super lucky, then,” Flowey smirked.

“Somewhat,” Luna shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ugh,” Flowey groaned. “I think I get it now: you’re just too weird to screw with, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” Luna said flatly.

Flowey shot her a glare that could kill. Though like his taunts, it simply bounced off of her. This only seemed to make him angrier.

“Wow, Luna,” Frisk giggled. “I’ve never seen anyone get him in this kind of… tizzy.”

“Tizzy?!” Flowey said, his glare turning positively murderous. “That’s it! What comes above giga? Tera? Yeah, that’s it. Congratulations, I now teraloathe you both!”

“As much as I like seeing him annoyed,” Sunset said. “We should hurry up. We might not get another chance.”

“Whoops, right, sorry,” Frisk said guiltily.

“It’s okay,” Sunset said, before turning to Luna. “But yeah, the barrier’s pretty much harmless, right?”

"The guards walked right through it," Luna said. "From what they say, it isn’t anything more than a detection spell.”

“Probably linked to some object near their post.” Sunset nodded. "A bell would work. Makes sense, too: why would the Federation use really dangerous spells when there's kids running around?"

"Maybe they’re not as noble as you think," Flowey reminded her.

Sunset rolled her eyes, before taking a deep breath and walking right through the red barrier. Other than a slight tingly feeling, as if she were around a strong electromagnetic field, it didn't bother her in the slightest.

"Oh yeah," Sunset said, grinning at Flowey. "Totally feeling the evil here."

“Besides, it’s Missy we're worried about, not the Federation," Frisk sighed. "Come on, Flowey, now you're just trying to get under our skin."

“I didn’t choose the troll life,” he shrugged. “The troll life chose me, remember?”

“I don’t understand,” Luna said quietly. “What would a troll be in this context?”

“Someone who tries to make people angry,” Frisk explained. “It’s an Underground thing.”

“That’s right, and don’t you dare try to appropriate it,” Flowey chided.

“Quiet, everyone,” Sunset said, leading the group forward beyond the forcefield.

As it turned out, the area the Federation had sealed off was larger than expected. It was made up of numerous tunnels and corridors. Sunset estimated they must have equalled at least a couple thousand meters altogether.

Not that this was a totally bad thing. It gave them plenty of room to maneuver around anything that even remotely sounded like a guard. However, it also made finding Hermione, if she was even still there, difficult.

“Starting to think this was a complete waste of time,” Sunset grumbled. “As you humans say, we may have ‘jumped the gun’.”

“That is a Colonial Union saying, thank you very much,” Luna pointed out. “Lyonesse doesn’t have that sort of obsession with firearms. No offense, Frisk.”

“I’m actually originally from the NCR,” Frisk shrugged. “They broke off from the Colonial Union after the war. I’m a bear girl, not an eagle gal.”

“Also, she’s never shot a gun in her life,” Flowey cackled.

Before Sunset was able to indulge in her curiosity about the distant Terran nation, her elven ears perked up.

“Hey, your ears did a thing,” Frisk said. “Can you hear something?”

“Voices…” she said. “No bootsteps, though. I don’t think it’s anyone looking for us.”

“Did I ever mention I’d love to have a pair of those?” Luna said, gazing at her ears.

Sunset merely blinked.

“Should we check them out?” Frisk asked. “The voices. Maybe they’re who Hermione’s trying to spy on.”

“I don’t see why not,” Sunset said. “As long as we’re extra careful and extra quiet. Follow me - this way.”

She led the group to the right, down another long corridor adjacent to the last. Unfortunately, as they were half-way down, the voices faded.

“Damn, lost them,” Sunset grumbled. “I could have sworn I heard them coming from down this way, too.”

“Hm, at least we know where we are, though,,” Luna said ponderously, gazing at one door in particular. “This looks familiar.” Then, in a tone Sunset couldn’t entirely describe, she continued with: “Oh, yes, I remember. This used to be Professor Snape’s office.”

“Professor Snape?” Sunset asked. “I’ve heard the name before. But who--”

“The previous headmaster,” Luna explained. “Also the former Potion Master for the longest time.”

“Wait, I thought Dumbledore was the last headmaster?” Frisk asked.

“The last one officially recognized by everyone,” Luna said. “Unfortunately, many haven’t accepted Professor Snape’s true nature as of yet.”

“And what was his true nature?” Sunset asked.

Luna cocked her head in a peculiar way, then simply said: “Odd.”

Sunset raised her eyebrows. She had no intention of saying it out loud, but she couldn’t help but think: ‘If Luna thinks someone was odd, that means something.’

Before she could say more, her ears perked once again. This time, the voices were much closer, and she could hear them clearly. In fact, she was almost certain they were coming from behind Professor Snape’s door.

“... I-I need to stress that i-it simply may not have absorbed enough of the energies it needs as of yet,” a nervous sounding, female voice said.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Frisk’s own widen. Before Sunset could ask about it, another voice chimed in, most definitely Missy’s.

“No, that’s not it,” she sighed. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up, dearie, but the fact of the matter is, he simply doesn’t want to talk to me. There was a ring, but alas, no answer, and he’s always near the phone.”

“Then let me try again,” another female voice, this time gruff, said. “At least it’d make me feel a little useful down here.”

She looked over to Frisk again. It looked like she was literally bouncing in delight at this point. Did she know who those new voices belonged to?

“While your proficiency in SOUL magic is almost certainly greater than my own,” Missy began. “Remember what I said, sergeant?”

“Yeah, that you really have to want to try to contact someone for the Synrium Orb to work,” the ‘sergeant’ said. “I’ll just need to want harder.”

“Though I like your enthusiasm, I don’t believe tricking the orb is possible,” Missy said. “It has to be a genuine, honest want. And while I don’t doubt that you wish to fulfill this task, you simply don’t have the… personal investment that I do. Not to worry, however. Nothing good in life comes easy, you know. We’ll have to figure something else out.”

There was a pause, followed by words horrifying in their implication, but spoken completely nonchalantly: “Wouldn’t you say, Ms. Granger?”

There was an audible gasp, followed by the door swinging open. Nobody even had a moment to react before - “OOF!” - an invisible force ran right into Sunset, knocking her to the ground. By the time she realized it was likely an invisible Hermione, she was no longer so invisible. It turned out that she was indeed wearing the cloak, or at least was before it was pulled off her by an amused looking Missy, now standing above the two.

After that, another figure came running out of the room: a blue, fish-like humanoid with an eyepatch. She had a peculiar, military-like uniform on, with a word clearly printed across the front of it: ‘MACO’. Cowering behind her was another figure: a yellow, bespeckled humanoid lizard of some sort. She wore a lab coat with the words ‘FMRA’ on it.

While the blue humanoid was initially angry-looking, her eye quickly turned to a mix of shock and confusion.

Apparently, this was the same thing the rest of the group, minus Missy, was feeling. So much so it took nearly a lifetime before anyone spoke.

“S-Sunset?” Hermione gasped.

“Hermione!” Sunset cried.

“Frisk?” the blue fish said.

“F-Flowey?!” the lizard gulped.

“Undyne! Alphys!” Frisk cheered.

“Luna,” Luna said, glancing about and smiling whimsically.

“God damnit,” Flowey grumbled, looking at the lizard and fish lady. “If it isn’t Fish Face and Turbonerd. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.”

Before they could respond, Missy chimed in, now with a look of infinite curiosity on her. “This is indeed unexpected… though not unwelcome.”

Sunset’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “You mean… you’re not angry?”

Her smile widened. “Should I be?”

“Well, I, uh…”

She let out a bemused giggle. “I’ve never been one for being too presumptuous. Why don’t we chat a little?”

She narrowed her eyes with a smirk.

“Then I’ll decide if I should be angry.”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Luna has found every troll's Achilles heel: indifference. When the entire goal is to prompt a reaction, the only winning move is not to play.

“Hey, your ears did a thing,” Frisk said. “Can you hear something?”

Sunset, what do your elf ears hear?

“Luna,” Luna said, glancing about and smiling whimsically.

Spongebob.
Donkey!
Rocky!
(I knew he was in with a bad crowd.)

In any case, I do not see this ending well in the short term. We'll see just how bad it gets.

[Crystonian]

“I’m actually originally from the NCR,” Frisk shrugged. “They broke off from the Colonial Union after the war.”

New California Republic?

[Fetch]

The guards are named Tarquin and Sylvanus?

As if Missy Who wasn't a big enough tip-off as to 'these are the baddies'?

[Comickook]

Good news? The gang FOUND Hermione. The BAD news? They have NO idea how bad the situation they have stumbled into could be. But, yeah, I LOVED how Luna not only managed to trick those two guards, but also managed to no-sell Flowey's snark. Plus, the little bit of additional backstory here is another great detail.

Anyway, excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places.

[maskedmustelid]

Seems like i've come to enjoy some unconventional crossover fics Like this that I've stumbled across as of late, thanks to good writing that makes them interesting to read and see where they go.

[Starkeeper_Ponyfic]

“God damnit,” Flowey grumbled, looking at the lizard and fish lady. “If it isn’t Fish Face and Turbonerd. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.”

"TURBONERD" I'M DEAD