• Published 18th Jul 2020
  • 2,177 Views, 42 Comments

Horsemen and Ponies - Dark Krystal

Death, War, Pestilence, and Famine. After a mission goes accidentally wrong the four of them find themselves separated and in a strange land filled with gross harmony.

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(W) Cold Shoulder

“………………” War sleeps silently within the darkness of the guest yak hut, arms resting on the back of his head and body just… stiff. His chest not rising up and down and no sound of breathing coming from his mouth or nose. His sleep was so silent and not moving, one would think he died mid-sleep but the snapping open of his eyes say otherwise.

“……Ah……” War blinks his eyes and then looks over and sees sleeping yaks.

“I'm still here…” War was not sure what he was expecting. Maybe that he would wake up and be teleported back home by Lucifer or that he was simply knocked out and had a yakful dream. Unfortunately this really is happening and he has been transported to a realm with talking yaks. He gives out a long sigh and looks around for any windows in the room so he can tell the time but finds out there are none.

"Guess i have to get up…." War mumbles and starts but moving his arms which quickly starts letting out creaking sounds as if his joints and muscles had stiffened. He pauses midway through to check over and make sure his body wasn't disturbing the sleep of the yaks. Once he sees they're still asleep he goes back and eventually comes to stand and does some quick stretches.

"Whew…rigor mortis is always tough after waking up…" War mumbles under his breath as he pops his neck and then his back which makes him sigh in relief. Finishing up his morning body repairs and wiping some hay off his back he grabs his sword and wraps the rope on it around his waist, letting his katana hang against his waist. He walks over and slowly opens the door to not make any creaking sounds to wake the yaks only to be hit directly in the eyes by the rising sun. He instinctively closes his eyes and lets out a hiss and quickly leaves the building and closing the door and putting his hands on his face.

"Gaah….sun…." He rubs his eyes and waits for them to adjust to the sudden change in light, once he does he takes a look around his surroundings and sees some yaks are up and about.

"Now then…what to do…" War puts one hand over his katana and the other to stroke his goatee, closing his eyes in thought.

'Maybe i should start asking some questions about this place. I simply just had fun yesterday, i should see where exactly i am… And maybe explore the village while i'm at it.'

War takes his hand off his small goatee and opens his eyes once more and does just that, walking around the village he gets greeted by yaks and some attempt to headbutt him in some sort of greeting. He entertains them by headbutting them back and ends up knocking a yak out with one and spends a minute to apologize for overdoing it. Though he only gets praised for having the strongest non-horned head and ask him the secrets towards the power of headbutts.

"Uhhhh…" Thinking for an answer he only can only think of some dumb fact Death told him once.

He looks at the yaks with his most serious face that he can muster up and gives them their answer. "Milk."

The yaks look at each other in most likely confusion and then look at War again for an explanation.

"You see i uhh…drink a lot of milk because milk has…strong uh…head strengthening property?" To try and back up his claim he goes over and easily headbutts a hole into the nearby mud hut, thanking Lucifer that this one had old dried mud. As expected he gets praised and they believe him despite making a hole in the side of one of their many huts.

'These guys are adorable.'

After granting his smashing insight he returns to his job of being a wanderer and finds a …Café The music coming out of makes he change course to the inside. He wasn't sure if it was a café or a bar but there was a bunch yaks sitting or standing around listening to the music. On the stage a white probably elderly yak is playing some sort of bagpipe instrument. If they were double in size and looked easily made, yet despite it's look the sound was honestly lovely to his ears.
A yak in yakish servant outfit is how he can describe it at best walks around seemingly taking orders and serving food.

'I guess there are small hubs of peace and non destruction in this place…'

He walks over and takes a seat at the table, the servant comes around and asks if he wants anything, he simply asks for some water and bread. After the servant leaves he sits and just…take a moment to enjoy it and feel peace within himself once more.

'Ah…wow this honestly is…really good. Hoooh…look at you War! In a Viking-like village surrounded by earth animals called yaks that can talk, play music, farm, and even have an entire culture! You really are on a vacation…maybe you can stay here for a little while more.'

He smiles to himself as he thinks of this as a long earned vacation for decades of work. The servant eventually returns with a jug of water and a basket full of loafs of bread.

"...................." He remembers these are yaks and yaks are big, thus they have big stomachs.

'I should've been more specific…' He sighs, he didn't feel like asking any more of the yak and simply just relaxes again eating from his basket and drinking from his jug. When he finishes and prepares to leave it dawns on him that he might have to actually pay for this.



He calls over servant. "H-how much do i owe you?"

The servant yak simply smiles and shakes his head. "No pay. Big Pink one is strong and friend of Yakyakistan!"

"E-eh? Are you sure this is okay?" He looks at the yak with a raised eyebrow. The yak nods his head and he stares at him for a bit before giving a slight bow. "Thank you for your generosity…"

He leaves the yak hut and looks around for something else to pass the time. 'Wait i was supposed to ask around about this world…'

He facepalms himself and groans. His one weakness was how easily distracted he can get and he loathed it. Just as he shakes the shame off him, a sudden shiver passes through him as if it was a shockwave blast. "This feeling…!" War turns his head toward the direction it came from. It was a brief feeling perhaps due to the distance but he knew that feeling very well.

"Death…" That wave of raw power was first he felt when he had first met death.

'They're here! If Death is here than the others have to be as well!'

War grins knowing this news and then frowns because if he felt that then Death either faced a powerful enemy or he's being himself again. Either way was bad. War decides he should shut down his idea of spending a couple of more days here, he should go find with the others before they start messing up this world and go back home where they belong. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair and puts on his serious face. "Time to do some work."

War goes to the story time bonfire and asks them questions about the world for a bit but after a couple of minutes he figured they don't really know much themselves so he changes the questions to about the area surrounding Yakyakistan. That is what gets him important knowledge, they lived in the mountains but there is a path from Yakyakistan to a nearby empire.

"A empire…?" He looks at the yak with a mix of surprise and confusion expression.

"Yes! It called um… umm…." The yak smacks light yellow yak right next to him. "What pony empire called again?"

"Ummm shiny empire?"

It takes a while but eventually they find out the title. "It is Crystal Empire! Pony Empire that live near us!"

"I see but umm…what is a pony?"

"Big pink one never seen tiny pony before?" War nods and all the yaks chuckle.

"They are small, weak but yaks think they're nice. In fact you remind us of tiny pink one" War blinks at that terrible description of what a pony and the fact the he apparently reminds them of a pink one but nods "I see, another question. Why is it called the Crystal Empire?"

"Ummmm…because empire is made out of shiny." War blinks once more.

'I kinda walked into the obvious answer…maybe the crystals are different here but that sounds like an extremely fragile empire.'

"Big pink one sure is asking lots of questions about pony place." The light yellow furred yak speaks up.

"Ah that's because i'm leaving today." When he finishes sentence he notices the yaks are silent making war raise a brow in confusion.

"Big pink one is leaving…"


"Is something wrong with Yakyakistan!?" He jumps and instinctively grabs his katana at the sudden outburst, the yaks quickly surround him.

"Is there not enough smashing for big pink one!?"
"Does yak bed not make big pink one happy!?"
"Are yaks not good enough for big pink one!?"

"No, no, no Yakyakistan is an amazing place. So far it's one of my favorite place to visit but i am a rōnin by heart… so i have a desire to travel and wander from place to place…i will come back one day i promise." War gives a small sorrowful smile knowing this was most likely a lie but the yaks look at each other and then with hesitation they all nod.

"We understand big pink one…"

"Thank you…" War bows and then gets buried by yak hugs. "Gah!"

They release him from the hug prison eventually and walk him to the gate of their village, yak shopkeepers and workers come out with some travel items for the him, such as a yak back blanket, some small packaged yak deserts, and other yak accessories and small gifts. War felt knives starting to pierce his heart as their kindness adds on small bags of guilt onto him but he keeps his composure and determination. Once they finish giving him goodbye gifts he prepares to leave only for a black furred yak to quickly approach his side.

"Yaks think you'll be okay but yaks feel need to tell Big pink one of dangerous beast that live in mountain."

War quickly turns around and looks at the yak with furrowed brows. "A beast?"

The yak nods. "Yes, a blue minor lives in mountain cave. Should be asleep but yaks be cautious." War slowly blinks before he gives a very slow nod as if he understood what creature the yak was talking about.

"Also!" The yak moves close to war and leans up to his ear. "Pony empire ponies might not be so friendly to Big pink."

"Why?" War squints his eyes at the yak, immediately wondering if one of the horsemen were there and messed something up.

"Because..uh...bad time with non-ponies."

'Oh dear Lucifer, did one of the guys go there and do something already..?'

War scowls and wonders how exactly he's going to clear their name. "T-thank you for telling me, i'll f-find a way…"

With that he walks away while waving goodbye to the residents of Yakyakistan and strapping the travel goods to his back with a rope given to him. He looks at the barely see able snowy path before him and prepares for a long and cold journey down the mountain.


"Don't sleep on the job, Platinum Shine!" The Crystal guard on the right side of the gate reaches over with his spear bonks the young guards head.

"Ow!" The young guard gives his older comrade the stink-eye. "Come on, Onyx Force! The chance of somepony coming from this side of the empire is so low i might as well just take a nap!"

"You're not wrong but still! It's our duty to make no intruders enter the empire or… any yaks with bad tempers…" The two shudder on the memory of the one black furred yak that destroyed the gate in frustration of being denied entry to the empire.

"My head hurts remembering that…" Platinum shine rubs his head through his helmet.

"Yeah well it'll hurt a lot more if i catch you starting to nap off again." Onyx sends a glare over to Platinum Shine.

"Yeah, yeah i get iiittt…?" Platinum's eyes catch something in the distance and he tenses up. "Looks like we got company."

Onyx turns his head and sees the figure coming down the mountain but the closer it gets the more they realize what exactly approaching. A tall pale creature wearing a pink coat over some strange black robes and what appears to a Yak coat hung over the pink coat. It's eyes glowed pink, it's hair on its head was black but with streaks of silver on the side and facial hair was similar. Onyx eyes wonder down and he feels his heart beat against his crystalline chest as in the creature's left hand was a strange sword, a long sword…covered in dripping blue liquid. There was only one creature he knew that lived up in the mountains that could have blue liquid flowing through it veins.

"Dear Celestia…" Onyx couldn't help but let his own nervousness slip past his lips.

"O-onyx that's not a Ursa Minor's blood right? R-right!?" Platinum looks at onyx with panic stricken on his face.

"I-it probably is . L-listen Platinum, this job comes with risks…and t-this is one of those risks. If it attacks…you run…i-ill deal with it…" Onyx grips his spear tighter with his foreleg.


"U-understand!?" Onyx looks to Platinumwith a hardened face, he hesitates but manages to nod back at the older guard.

"Hoooh…" War exhales as he tries to shake the blue blood off his blade.

'So that's what a blue minor is! Kinda disappointing i pulled my blade out on a weak foe but killing it was a good way to repay the yaks. They should be able to travel safer now.'

War smiles and looks ahead and sees the crystal empire in the distance. Upon seeing it he really wondered if it was an empire, after all he knew an empire was group of countries under a single supreme authority but this didn't look big for an empire. His eyes move over to the crystal gate ahead of him and he sees two Horses? No ponies! Ponies that's right! That's what the yaks told him they were. Getting closer he notices their coats looked strangely crystalline and almost matched with the armor.

'Is… Is everything but the ground in this place going to be crystal?' He felt a desire to test his sword against these crystals to see if it actually is strong or if it's just for looks. Maybe another time. Right now he had to go through a border check. Going up to the two two armored ponies he looks down and realizes how small they are compared to him and the yaks.

'I can see why yaks would see the ponies as weak now…' He looks at the guards weapon and ponders how exactly is he even holding that spear.

'Forelegs shouldn't be able to do that…'

"S-state your business!"

His thoughts are interrupted as the guard on the right glares at him and increases his grip on his his spear. War looks down at his bloodied katana and realizes walking up to them with his katana out probably wasn't the best approach to a guard. He rises his blade up in the air and the guard tenses. He looks like he's ready to make the first strike only to watch as War swings his sword to the side with a nice 'swoosh' following it, he swings with such force the that a small gust of wind is sent forward along with all the blood spilling onto the grass. He examines his clean blade unaware of the the top of plume on the guards helmet falling down besides the guard.

"Sorry about that, must've looked pretty threatening right? Hahaa!" War smiles as he puts it back in its sheath. Looking back at the guard he tenses up due to the guard looking like he's about to crap himself and has his eyes focused on where War had swung. Looking at the left guard...he was absolutely sweating up a fountain and looks like he was going to bolt any moment now.

'Eh? Did swinging my sword spook them…? How?'

"I want to enter the Crystal Empire…"

"N-n-n-n-no Entry." War frowns. Platinum looks at the Onyx like he was a complete idiot.

"E-eh but i really need to enter…"

"N-n-no Entry!"

"I promise i'll hold back when i''m inside."


"Come on! There has to be some room for negotiation here! I apologize if person of darkness came through here and caused a ruckus!"

The guards eyes widened and the left guards jaw dropped. "Y-y-y-you know k-k-k-king so-"


"Please! He couldn't have been THAT bad now! I've know him for centuries!"

The guards were trembling in front of him but the right guard even with his fear kept a glare at the terrifying creature in front of him.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…" War puts his hand against his forehead and closes his eyes. After a bit he moves his hand away and looks at the sky, it was a nice day today. The sky was blue, a few clouds in the sky. It was windy. It was a good day to do what he was about to do.

"I apologize but i can't be turned away after going this far. I have to enter the crystal empire but i promise…i'll be quick."

Upon hearing that the right guard quickly puts the spear in his mouth and prepares a charge while the left guard starts to run only for the two sees a blur go past them. The left guard freezes in place and looks ahead as running down the road to the Crystal Empire was the monster. He watches it run down the road and a sigh of relief escapes him only for it to be sucked back inside him as Onyx runs pass him, chasing after the creature.

"Hey! HEY! ONYX!" The guard stares at the behind of his older comrade before curses to himself and chasing after him.

"Yessss!" Cadance let's out a happy squeal as she walks out of the palace. "It's so nice to finally get a break!"

"You can say that again!" Shining armor says as he comes to her side. The two nuzzle each other before looking at their surroundings.

"We have at least two hours before flurry wakes up from her nap. What should we do with the time we have Cadance?"

Cadance grins. "I know exactly what we shou-"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!" a voice rings throughout the streets of the crystal empires along with strong shaking of the ground. Cadance and Shining armor immediately turn their heads to the source of the commotion and what they see leaves them wide eyed. A creature that neither have ever seen before in their lives wasbeing chased by almost half of the empires guards. Shining is the first to snap out of his shock and nudges Cadance who snaps out of it. Cadance groans loudly and stomps her hoof.

"This job never gets easier does it!" Cadance watches as the commotion heads in their direction with a tired glare.

"Yeah…maybe we'll get another chance…?"Shining armor gives a tired smile and Candace rolls her eyes and opens her wings and takes flight. She lands in front of the running creature with her wings spread out and horn glowing.

'I'll stop this quickly so i can at least have some time to relax in spa!'

As the creature approaches her Cadance prepares to use her royal canterlot voice on the creature.

"I Princess Mi Amore Cadenza demand you to-"

"Deepest apologies! But can i borrow you for a moment!"

War did not expect this to go from 'this is kinda bad.' to 'Okay. This is officially terrible!' He couldn't even count all the guards that were chasing him but he suspected it was probably every guard in this entire empire with the size that was behind him. He had an advantage over them and that was his near endless source of stamina, he could run laps around the entire empire for a week nonstop before he would even feel the hint of fatigue. Yet with them cutting him off and trying to trap him they were really being a pain, he needed something to distract and lock them down for a while.

Just as he was trying to think of an idea, like an angel coming from heaven a strange pink pony flies down to block his path. She was slightly bigger than the ponies he has seen and it's garb was…royal-like. Gratitude enters his heart as he looks at his solution this predicament.

"I Princess Mi Amore Cadenza demand you to-"

"Deepest Apologies! But can i borrow you for a moment!" With that apology out of the way he lowers himself to the ground and launches himself at her. Tackling her to the ground the two roll across the ground he manages to get her in a hug and finds a moment to jump out out of the roll and land with the pony held against his chest.

"I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorry!"

He spins on his heel and throws her at the guards. Upon see their princess flying at them they come to a stop but like a strong arrow striking a bowling pin one guard is hit by the princess and then the many behind them fall in suit like dominoes. He can hear the countless panicked yelling and the guards turning their attention to what just happened, he smirks and gives a small bow to thank her for her sacrifice.

"Cadance!" A voice comes from behind makes him turn around and see a white pony with a blue mane look at the guard's destruction with shock and worry but turn into pure rage upon looking at War. He puts his hands up in defense and gives an apologetic look but it doesn't seem to be enough to quell the pony as he expels smoke from his nose and rushes War.

"Oh damn it…" He rushes at the pony, watching the pony with pure focus while taking note of his build, horn, and speed. Once he makes it three feet in front of the pony he suddenly slides as the stallion releases a bolt of magic over him. He crouches right before the pony

"I apologize and i wish you a swift recovery!" With that apology out of the way he uppercuts the ponies bottom jaw with his open palm and launches the stallion. He takes a moment to watch as the pony flies up in the air spinning backwards and then landing onto a table occupied of a pony couple. War runs past them and apologizes for disturbing their date. He lets out a pleased sigh as he runs and focuses on trying to find an exit out of the empire but looking around he slows his pace. The streets were beautiful, shiny and clean! The buildings looked like crystals but restructured, polished and hollowed out to be strangely livable. The landscaping was surprisingly good for how little there actually was in this place.

The Empire sure was…weird by design, it reminded him of some fancy human suburbia. But like the name implies the place really is made up of nothing but crystals, even the streetlights and ponies seemed crystalline. He couldn't help but frown at the fact that he was denied if could've been accepted he would've spent an entire day here like a tourist and learn even more about this world. Running around the corner he comes to a stop and focuses his eyes on something that sent shivers down his spine.

Down the street was a statue but not just any statue it was a statue made of crystal depicting…something holding a heart made of some kind shinier crystal. He wasn't a art expert by any means but this statue…it made him grit his teeth and cringe with how bad and out of place it looked. 'I guess with every beauty comes a beast…'

He shakes his head and runs towards the statue until he reaches the desired distance. He jumps up high into the air unsheathing his katana as he does so and rises it above his head only to swing it down and cut the statue with disappointing ease. He scoffs at how the crystals here really were fragile and decides to finishes the statue off with a mid air spin and a horizontal slash. He lands and sheaths his katana once again as the statue starts to fall apart. 'And thus as my duty i have slain the beast…'

He frowns upon realizing he got distracted again only for high pitched screaming to penetrate his eardrums. Looking to his right he sees a pony family holding each other as the crystal heart part starts to fall down onto them. "OH DEAR GOD!"

He slips at first but gets up and runs over to them, right as the heart is about to crush them he jumps into the air and with the power imbued in him he dropkicks the heart sending it flying. When he lands in front of the family he quickly stands up straight and bows. "I deeply apologize for endangering you!"After apologizing to the family he quickly runs away.

Sunburst smiles as he levitates his kettle and cup onto the table next to his new book and lights the candles in his room. "Ooooooh! i'm so EXCITED!" Sunburst couldn't help but do small little dance. He has been waiting for this book for the past month and it was finally here! With this environment he had set up he would get maximum immersion. He gives a big smile and looks at his book unaware of the large blue heart-object getting bigger outside of his window.

War was running again as guards have returned, most likely due to the statue incident. Luckily they were a smaller size now so they couldn't cut him off or try and trap him. They're only able just shout at him to "halt!" and such. Going along one of the main streets, hoping it would lead him out of the empire. In the distance he spots a stand in his way and prepares to jump over it untilhe spots the sign hanging off the side of it. "!Crystal Empire merch!"

'……I could take a souvenir……' He runs over the stall and hurriedly picks out a hat and sunglasses and runs while holding his new stolen souvenirs that he's earned,

Finally after what feels like a hours of running he spots something that grants him happiness in these true running times. A train station, with probably the goofiest looking train he has has ever seen in his entire life. This was his getaway out of this situation as the train's whistle rings throughout the area as it begins it's departure, he bursts into a full out sprint after the train and when he catches up to the train he climbs into the trains caboose.

He hops up to a stand and waves goodbye to the still chasing guards. "I apologize for the damage i caused! I hope that i don't have to come through here again! I will be leaving now! As such i bid you farewell and a good rest of your day!"

He gives them a final bow before sitting down the floor and sighing out of relief. "I'm finally outta of there."

He smiles and pats his legs as if to thank them for a job well done, the trip had some ups and a lot of downs but at least he was finally travelling this world. He didn't know how long it's gonna take to find his comrades or how many souvenirs he'll be able collect when this is all up. At least he can do the one thing he loves doing, wandering around.

He smiles and decides to check out his goods. Taking out his new Crystal Empire hat and he reads the front "Love rules!"

"…………………………" He groans and throws the hat on the ground and takes out sunglasses, they were heart shaped making him sigh.

"Rushers can't be choosers..." He puts on the sunglasses and watches as the empire gets smaller and smaller.

Author's Note:

Here you go a chapter for this story after a long time as promised. I hope you enjoyed it, i'mma gonna get some sleep now...