Horsemen and Ponies

by Dark Krystal

(W) Culture Shock

War stood by the great gate as he spied into the village, awestruck at the sight that laid within.

` Hmph! This is something I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest state! `

In front of him was a group of extremely thick furred bovines. It would’ve been one thing to War if it was just a bunch of bovines grouped up for farm purposes. However, these bovines were adorned with blankets, helms that reminded him of Mongolian war armor, and countless trinkets or decorations of gold or bass. War stared at them with a mix of confusion, awe, and interest all at once.

It didn’t help that these greatly overly decorated bovines were grouped together smashing wooden logs, some even smashing their heads against it. He was honestly impressed that their combined stomping power was able to be felt from where he previous was at, but more so at the luck that an avalanche hasn’t come and consumed them all in its freezing fluff.

' Okay, stumbled on a village harboring over decorated earthen yaks that have a hatred for logs or just a plain desire to smash them. Hm, it sounds less weird in my head. `

War cups his chin as he watches the yaks smash those logs with such... barbarian-like grace. Even seeing two yaks run at each other and share a classic chest bump, but with their bodies and share a laugh together before going back to destroying more logs.

` Okay not farm animals. That was definitely sentient behavior... I think? `

War moves his gaze from the smashing yaks to look at village itself. He notices the huts seemed to be made of hardened mud, wood, and thatched roofs with some strings with colored on them for decoration. He lets out a low ` Hm! ` impressed with how they are able to make this type of housing within snowy mountains. Around the village he notices both large and small dark stone towers with lit firepits on top around the place.

` I am defiantly not on earth. `

He turns his back to the gates and crosses his arms. He frowns at this realization, if he wasn’t on earth then where was he exactly? A new plane? A time before he came to be? In someone's imagination? The countless possibilities of where he could be run through his head for approximately three seconds before he shuts them down and becomes content with the present.

` Mnnn... I’ll find my way back to hell eventually somehow. Let’s take things nice and slow, a lay of the land and culture maybe? `

War turns around and peeks around the gate, gazing at the destructive yaks in thought.

` Will they try to kill me on sight if I walk in? I would very much not like to start of my new journey with a genocide so soon. Then again, other than their horns and strength they don’t really have any way to do harm. Unless they can pick up weapons, but even they are on all fours... so it’d be awfully slow swings. `

He closes his eyes; in his mind he could see a yak biting down on a polearm swing its head at war. The swing was slow but strong with good weight behind it. Evadable, and blockable for him, a swing like that could probably cut through cheap armor or break bones if it was a blunt weapon.

` Okay so I can take them on in the worst case... but how do I make the best case? I would be pretty nice to get some information on the land... `

His face scrunches when he is unable to think of a decent plan to peacefully enter the village of another species. He gives a sigh of defeat only it to be overshadowed, the sound of cheers bellows out from within making him open his eyes and look peek inside. He easily spots the source of this sudden collective cheer, a young yak successfully smashing a log, most likely it’s first.

His eyes travel down to the broken log and slowly they widen as an epiphany hits him.

` The logs! The logs are key here! `

A grin forms on his lips as a brilliant plan comes to his mind. He backs a little bit away from the gate.

“Time to set the foundation...”

---

The great yak gates burst open, letting a well-timed wind blow into the village. The yaks stop their smashing movements, letting the wind blow over them before all collectively looking at the gate. There standing in the center of their gate was War. Face covered by his unhinged hair, and clothing wet from snow. He gives rapid breaths before striding into the village.

The yaks silently stare at him as he walks, halfway he leans down to pick up one of the logs and carry it over to the center of the log smashing area. He spins around and raises the log in the air, pointing at it for all yaks to see. In the corner of his vision, he could see more yaks start to come out of their buildings. He gives a deep inhale as he feels the collective gaze of all these yaks.

He brings the log and grips it horizontal in front of him. He reels back his head, letting his hair fly off to expose his face. He lets out a roar and bashes his skull against the log, on contact with his head the center of the log explodes. The sound of the impact and feel of the launching wood chips fly and hit their coats makes the yaks mouths drop.

He grunts as he pulls his head away from the log, a drop of blood dripping down from a small cut. He dumps the remains of the log onto the ground and wipes the blood of his forehead, successfully hiding his quick regeneration. His eyes scan over the crowd, a bit of proud swelling his chest upon seeing the yaks shocked reactions.

He raises his arms up to the air and yells out to the crowd. "Well!? Am I going to have to get more logs to smash myself? Or are you all too frozen to give me another one!?"

He looks at the crowd with a sharp glare. For a while nothing happened, neither War nor the yaks made a move. The yaks looking at each other and whispering themselves but otherwise none moon. Eventually two yaks push out a smaller grown yak, a hushed argument happening afterwards, ending with the yak being forced a log onto its head and pushed further towards War.

Slowly the yak walks up to him, only stopping halfway to him. It tilts its head to let the log roll off and land in front of it. Hesitantly the yak nudges the log forward, letting it roll towards him. Just as quickly as the yak pushed the log to him it had returned to its peers for more hushed.

War silently picks up the log and raises it into the air for all to see. He throws it up in the air, the yaks and him together watch the log reach its peak of its toss. War clenches his fist, waiting for the log. When the log is few inches from landing on his face, he swings his fist upwards and makes contact with the logs under side. On impact the log breaks into two and falls evenly to the ground. War stays in the pose for a moment, letting the yaks acknowledge what they just witnessed.

Slowly he goes back to his normal stance and smiles at the crowd. His smile almost breaks when acknowledges there was no immediate cheering or whispers of bewilderment.

War inhales slowly before yelling out for the whole village to hear. "Are you not entertained!? Are you not impressed!?"

Silence fills the village. War stares at the crowd, uncertainty growing in him. He opens his mouth to speak once more only to hear a sight that wasn’t from him. A Light stomping. Slowly one by one the yaks follow up with light stomping of their own, when they all collectively synchronized their stomping, they begin to increase the weight of their stomps. War smiles and cheers from himself, the yaks taking that as a signal to begin their own cheers.

"Pink one, smash logs good!" A yak yells over the stomping crowd.

“I never seen logs smashed like that! Me approve of new smash!” Another yak yells out to war.

War washes in their cheers and smiles until multiple yaks start to roll out more logs for him. He picks up one of the logs and raises up in the air as he yells out. "Less talking, more log smashing!"

The bovine populace cheer in agreement, they began rolling out logs out to the rest of the yaks. The event doubling in size than what it originally was. War breaks logs as stylishly as possible, granting him cheers and compliments from the yaks. Some yaks even attempt to mimic his log smashing movements.

` This is fun! I had no idea smashing wood was this fun before! `

War laughs as he breaks a log over his knee, losing himself to log smashing madness.

---

After two hours of pure log smashing the bovines finally ceased. War is greeted by two armored yaks; they simply nod their heads as a signal to follow them. War wordlessly follows the two yaks; he finds their destination being the center of the village. In his mind he immediately acknowledged it as the fanciest part of the village, the fancy center was a stone half circle with a non-lit bonfire in the center with two standing tall torches by it and what he can guess was seats with blanket covered boxes around it.

War finds himself the center of attention as he is seated down on a bench and surrounded by yaks.

"Big pink one! What are you!?" A yak suddenly yells out to him. War slightly jumps at the yell but

"Uh… Er… Aaaaa… Hmmm... Human?" The yaks mutter among themselves asking each other what a "human" is to each other. They give up within seconds.

"Matters not! You bring yaks together in great smashing! Great honor! We welcome you and give title of big pink one!" One of the armored yaks announce.

"Okay!" He smiles up at the yaks who return with their own smiles. Judging from their way of speech and actions they weren't as smart as he hoped, chances of them evening knowing the answers to his questions were… probably slim.

"May I ask who you are and what is this place?"

"We're are proud yaks of Yakyakistan! Big pink is in Yakyakistan! Let us welcome big pink to Yakyakistan!" All the surroundings' yaks smile and stick their chest out in pride. War blinked at the yaks but kept his smile.

"What brought Big Pink to Yakyakistan?" A yak asks. War ponders on the question for a moment before answering.

"Well, I heard the magnificent sound of the smashing of logs! The sound attracted me… Thus, I travelled to this sound to also indulge myself in this beautiful activity." War scratches the back of his head as he answers.

"Yes! Yak's best at destroying!" Two yaks yell in unison and then horn bump each other.

The way they behaved reminded War of Vikings, if the Vikings were dumber and animals. War felt a tinge of regret on his previous thought of killing them. They were cute in a dumb Viking-like way. After chatting with the yaks for a bit they suddenly part away from him to group up together. For a while he sees them do some kind vote or something akin to it, due to them raising an arm and counting. After coming to a conclusion one of the armored yaks walk back to War.

"Leader of Yakyakistan is gone on trip! So, we yaks decide to declare you official, unofficial friend of Yakyakistan!" The yaks cheer in unison while War looks at the yak in bewilderment.

` Wow... I didn’t see this outcome. Is that an official title? Do I get benefits!? How much did I rank up from just smashing logs!? `

"Now, we take Big Pink on Yakyakistan tour!" Two more yaks walk up beside him.

“Huh! O-Okay!?” War says unsure of what just happened.

The yaks give him a tour around the village. He is surprised when he finds out they had small farm of wheat in the village, usually no one would ever farm up on a snowy mountain because of the temperature and elevation but they somehow manage to pull it off. He wanted to ask how the wheat is even growing or how they could even farm it with the lack of hands but he figured the answer would most likely be "Because yaks are also great farmers!". Just an hour into the tour he has discovered how prideful the yaks were.

` Not even Famine is as prideful of these guys... `

Continuing on his tour. He found out that their little bonfire pit was a place yaks would gather around to tell stories. The idea of sitting by a bonfire and telling stories was activity he could never partake in due to his role. Seeing the yaks having a specific spot for such activity made him really happy.

Next was their huts. The tour through their huts showed War that not all the huts were yak homes, they had specialized huts for certain activities such as sleeping, eating, tailoring and etc. Some yaks had home but they were mainly for noble yaks or farming yaks, the rest slept together, ate together, and bathed together. War couldn’t help but admire that design.

The last parts of the tour were going into the yaks eating hut and indulging in yak cuisine, much to his surprise their diets consisted of breads and desserts, only sometimes do they indulge in just eating raw wheat. Then they end the tour with a sitting down in the music hut, listening to yak culture music, he didn’t know why but by the end of the yak's song he felt moved.

“This place is great...” Famine mumbles, as he watches the yak musician get off the stage. The nods around him nod their heads in agreement. He had to admit. The yak's actual earned their pride. They have a lot of things he couldn't find problems with or actually liked; the only problems were the yaks themselves really but their culture wasn't as bad as some other cultures he's seen.

When the night settles in he hangs around the bon fire and tells the yaks stories of his encounters back in hell, though he over-exaggerates and changes the setting a bit for the sake of their peaceful nature. He tells his stories to yaks old and young, all taking great interest in his tales of adventure. When midnight comes around, he decides to finish up and wishes a restful nights to the yaks.

He enters the sleeping yak hut and finds a nice hay bed for himself; he didn't need to sleep but it's a better alternative than roaming the village like a homeless creature till sunrise or practicing sword swings and risk breaking something. He puts his sword beside the bed and gets on to the hay bed. He lays there staring at the ceiling and listening to yak's snoring before closing his eyes and waiting to lose consciousness.

` The yaks aren't so bad. Though I wonder what other creatures there... Are they like yaks? Are there humans here or some humanoids? `

War felt his curiosity grow, the thought of what lays beyond this mountain and the creatures that inhabit it fueled him. He shakes his het and cancels the thoughts, not wanting to get a headache from all the possibilities. He does let one final thought enter his mind as he feels his consciousness start to fade from inactivity.

Author's Note:

Wow. It's actually nice to know with only three chapters some of you already added to your favorites or started tracking it... I can only really say thanks that makes me feel even more motivated to write this.

This chapters a short one because of... well yaks. But if you found Pestilence chapter to be interesting then you better prepare for Famine and Griffinstone.

5/4/2022 Revised

Comments

[BestinDworld]

....”and I .....am DEATH....”

“Aw that’s so sad . He can’t hear.”
“No mom. I think he means...”

Death firein hiz lasers

Family screams in agony as they burn

If you get the ref you get a foal clone of Trixie (see avatar pic)

[Saj3boys]

10354320
If I don’t see the burning souls of some ponies in this story, it was a big waste of my time.

[StabbymcKnife]

Africa's Pakistan country

I'm sorry wut. Pakistan is not in Africa bro. Its in Asia.

[horsepoweryt]

"Are you not entertained!?

if you know, you know