Strangers in a strange land

by Snowy Flanks

Group mechanincs

Working on the farm had been a lot more difficult then Baker thought it would be. His back and neck were sore from leaning down and looking under leaves for bugs and rot. His body was coated in salt and dust from walking through the fields in the hot sun, his hooves were caked with mud and pebbles and his mane was covered with dirt and hung from his neck like a wet carpet. Yet Baker had never been happier then he was right now. He had done hard back breaking work and survived to walk away and tell the tale. Light on the other hoof had had a great time; he had been played with all day feed all sorts of treats. Pepper had given Baker his pay and wished him well; Baker told her where he was staying so she could contact him with his next work day. Walking slowly back to Ponyville, Light hopping along beside him with a big smile and laugh, Baker didn’t see many ponies still walking around. All the shops were closed and Luna’s moon was just beginning to peak out over the horizon. Baker paused to look by at her canvas and was taken aback with what he saw. He had looked at the night sky back at home but this; this was a whole new level of art work. Every star was perfectly placed in the sky to create a feeling of eternity, the moon shown brightly like a spotlight following him. Baker supposed this was mostly due to the lack of light pollution or smog covering the sky.

When Baker arrived at the library all the lights were off but you could see forms moving across the windows. Baker smiled and pushed open the door nudging Light in first before closing the door behind him.

The lights turned on. “SURPRISE!” shouted everypony and they popped up around Baker and Light. Light began to shake but Baker put a calming hoof on his back. The library had been dressed up for a real good party. Baker was glad to see that none of the books had been knocked over during the decorating. Pinkie had set up three tables full of snacks and a punchbowl in which Gummy was swimming in. there was an empty spot of the floor for dancing and from the roof hand streamers and balloons. More balloons sat on the floor ready to be kicked around by ponies. What really surprised Baker was the amount of blue and greens in the design. He didn’t know how Pinkie managed to pick his favourite colours but he just passed it of as Pinkie Pie powers and smiled.

“You know, it really isn’t a surprise party when I told you when and where the have it” said Baker with a chuckle.

“But it is fun to say SURPRISE!” said Pinkie Pie popped up behind Baker.

“I will give you that one. It looks like this party is going to be a lot of fun” replied Baker as he started to make his way through the well wishers to the stairs at back of the room.

“Wait, where are you going now? You’ve got to stay and play all the games I got planned it is going to be fun!”

“I have something I have to do right now Pinkie but I’ll be back soon”

Pinkie grabbed Baker’s tail “Again? Mr. Secret, a girl could think you have been trying to avoid her with a bunch of contrived and unlikely excuses. Now come on we got a lot of fun games to play, dancing like you just don\t care to do and tasty snacks to eat!” nudging Baker in the chest playfully.

Baker yanked his tail out from Pinkie grip and replied firmly but quietly enough so that only she could hear him “Pinkamena Diane Responsibility Pie, I just spent all day working in the fields after being examined several times in several uncomfortable places, I am sore, filthy and no doubt smell all kinds of funky. I am going to take a quick shower and scrub, then come down to party in the party room”

Baker walked away from the pink pony and left Light to play with the ponies while he took a shower. Light immediately went to work pushing his ball around the legs of the ponies and eating whatever anypony gave to him. No pony could resist his playful demeanor and toothy smile and he got a lot of nuzzles and pats on the head for his troubles. He soon found the perfect place to play and started to have a lot of fun. Baker in the meantime dropped his bags on his bed and climbed into the shower. He turned the water to as hot as he could bear and let it wash all over him. After a through lather, rinse, repeat and a liberal use of a loofah, Baker finally managed to scrub off the layer of filth and sweat that had stuck to his coat since he had come to Equestria. He felt a pound lighter and a lot happier. He took a brush from the table and smoothed out the knots and snares that were coat in his mane and tail. Finally he lifted one of the towels of the rack and vigorously dried himself off.

Now that he was clean and dry, Baker went down to finally have his awesome Pinkie party he had been craving since he had arrived in Equestria. Everypony was having a great time. There was drinking and party games were happening in every corner of the building and in the center was Pinkie making sure everypony was having fun. Baker tried to sneak up behind her but in true Pinkie Pie fashion she saw him coming before he even got close.

“Hi Mr. Secret are you ready for your party now?” said Pinkie with a big smile.

“Well Pink, I’ve done everything I need to for the day, and I’ve got nothing planned for tomorrow, so let’s party like tomorrow will never come” said Baker with a big smile.

Pinkie bounced with glee and got up on a table and whistled. Everypony in the room quieted down and looked at her; Baker put his hoof to his eyes and began to laugh inside.

“HEY EVERYPONY! The guest of honor is here!” shouted Pinkie

Baker waved to everypony “Hi everypony, my name is Bright Baker but you can call me Baker. You might have seen me wandering around town today or causing quite the ruckus yesterday. I just moved her with my little nephew Light, who is the awesome zebra colt you have all meet. I hope we can all be friends after all like the saying goes you can never be too rich, too smart, have too good a nap or have too many friends”

The ponies applauded and laughed then went back to partying. Pinkie stepped down from the table and nudged Baker to one of the snack tables which was surrounded by the Twilight and her friends.

“Yay! Come on Mr. Secret I can’t wait to introduce you to all of my friends”!

“Three problems with that statement Pinkie: One you just introduced me to everypony in the room, two you are friends with everything so personally introducing me to all of them would take forever, three I already know all of your friends names, and maybe a little of their back stories.”

“And just how do you know so much about us? And how were you able to talk to Princess Celestia so fast, huh? Are you a spy?” said Rainbow Dash shoving her face into Baker’s and staring.

Baker thought for a moment. “You better believe that I am a spy Rainbow Dash, but I am sooo much more then just a simple everyday run of the mill spy. I got all sorts of secret bouncing around in my pony head. As for how I got to see the royal princesses, I just marched right up to the castle and asked to talk to Tia and Luna. It was not as hard as you would think, both of them were very accommodating” answered Baker with a smirk.

“You can’t call the princesses but their first names! It is so rude” scolded Twilight.

“Hmmm..,it appears that my vocal cords are able to be stretched in such a way as to create the sound vibrations necessary to speak the princesses names. And since I have not been struck down by a beam of burning light, it appears that they are OK with me calling them that” shrugged Baker with an even bigger smile.

That’s not the point! They are supposed to be respected, calling them by there first names is not respectful” complained Twilight.

Baker ignored Twilight’s grumbling and looked for his next somepony special. It took him a second but he saw her smiling and standing next to the table. When Fluttershy saw Baker looking at her she let out a meep and hid behind her mane.

“Miss Fluttershy it is great to see you again, I have something important for you” said Baker before walking up and wrapping his hooves around her neck, pulling her into a tight hug. “Thank you so much for helping me and Light. Without you we would have died out there. We are both in your debt”

Fluttershy meeped again and replied “Your welcome Mr. Baker”

After releasing Fluttershy before she passed out from his closeness, Baker walked over to the dessert table to help himself to a snack. There was a large assortment of apple pastries, no doubt courtesy of Applejack, but Baker was at a loss as to which one he should eat first.

“Eat on of my cupcakes Mr. Secret! I made the especially for you with my secret recipe” said Pinkie bouncing up and down behind him.

“Well if you made them Pink then I know they are good, I guess will have to eat one of them” replied Baker levitating a whole cupcake into his mouth. As he chewed he felt a familiar kick of spicyness assault his tongue. Mashing the pasty against the roof of his mouth, Baker savored each crumb before he slowly swallowed it.

“Mmmm zesty” said Baker licking his lips.

“Ohhh You like my cupcakes? YAY!” said Pinkie

“Oh sure, the hot sauce makes them even better”

“You like hot sauce on your cupcakes?” asked Applejack with a raised eyebrow.

“Well to be fair, I like hot sauce on anything. Vegetables, bread, ice-cream or even straight up” said Baker with a casual wave before he walked away to mingle with the rest of the party guests.

The first ponies he found were the Cakes who were watching Pound and Pumpkin playing with Light. Baker smiled and leaned down to nuzzle Light before turning to Ms. Cake. “Thank you very much for letting me borrow that carrying case yesterday. I don’t think I could have made it to Canterlot and back without it; I can give it back to you before you leave. Don’t worry it’s nice and clean”

Ms. Cake smiled and put her hoof on Baker shoulder “Don’t worry dear, you can keep it. Think of it as our welcome to town present”

“Thank you Mr and Ms. Cake, it is just what I needed” said Baker bowing his head to them.

The three made small talk while watching their little ponies play with each other. All three were pushing around Light’s ball and clearly having the time of there lives. Once in a while one of them would jump on top of the ball and the other two would try to get it back. Then they would go right back to passing it between each other as if nothing had happened. Every now and then Pound would flap his little wings and create gusts of wind that were blowing Pumpkin’s and Light’s manes around making the two giggle with delight. Baker just smiled and was glad that Light finally had friends his own age to play with; he would definitely need to set up a play date with the Cakes one day. Leaving Light to socialize with his friends, Baker attempted to mingle with the rest of the ponies at the party but could not manage to break in to any conversations. Every once in a while somepony would ask him a question and he would answer them the best he could but he never managed to carry the conversation with any of the ponies. Baker decided to just hang around on of the snack table and shove food in his mouth until he felt brave enough to talk to somepony. All of the snacks were really delicious, especially the food produced by the Apple family. The pastries tasted like they had been dipped in pure apple flavour and smelt like they had been pulled right out of the oven. While he was chewing he felt somepony jump on his back and tug on his mane.

“Come on Mr. Secret, you’ve got to stop eating. This is a party you need to dance” said Pinkie pulling Baker to the center of the room.

“Pink I really don’t know how to dance, or be in large crowds, or dance in large crowds, or have large crowds watch me dance” said Baker trying to escape her grip.

“You don’t need to know how to dance just let the music make you move” said Pinkie bouncing around Baker and pushing him into the middle of the dance floor.

Baker realized he was not going to escape Pinkie this time so he just sighed and began to bob his head to the music and lifting his hooves to the beat. It really wasn’t dancing but it was enough to appease Pinkie who was dancing alongside Twilight and having a great time. In the end he did manage to have a little fun dancing and he felt a little more comfortable with the ponies around him but the process tired him out.

After a few dances, Baker managed to escape Pinkie and get back to the snacks table. Helping himself to a cup of gatorade, Baker made his way to the games area of the party. A game of pin the tail on the pony was getting started and before he even knew what happened, he was blindfolded, spun around and a tail shoved into his mouth. After stumbling for a second he made his way to the wall and felt around until he felt something smooth. Not having a clue where to stick it he just pushed the tail in and hoped for the best. He heard laughing as he pulled of his blind fold and when he saw what he had down he began to laugh to, of course on the other hand Clover the clever did look good with a purple beard.

After two hours of dancing, eating and party games, ponies began to leave for the night while the Baker, Pinkie and Twilight began to clean up the mess left behind. Light and Spike were huddled in the corner of the room sleeping together, their chests rising and falling in sync with each other. Baker wished he had a camera to remember to curtness. Once Twilight and Baker had put their charges away and Pinkie had finished sweeping up the floor, Baker and the mane 6 laid down to have a nice conversation before turning in.

“So how ya enjoying Ponyville?” said Applejack.

Baker shrugged “It is a lot bigger then I excepted and I do wish I could go home, but this is a nice place to live and it is filled with a lot of cheerful friendly ponies. If I had to get lost for away from home, I am glad that it is here”

“My bro said that ya asked him for a job today, sorry he couldn’t help ya”

“Think nothing of it Applejack, he has to make the decisions that are best for your farm. I was sad I couldn’t work at Sweet Apple Acres, I hear it is a great place, but I was able to find work with Pepper and working for her is pretty exhilarating”

“Ya are working for Pepper? Be careful her plants are not to be trifled with”

“What because she grows spicy food? That won’t be a problem” said Baker with a dismissive way.

“Yah, Mr. Secret likes to eat my special cupcakes! If he can do that the Pepper Pots Farm would not be a problem” said Pinkie eating a cupcake while she talked.

“Yah and Pepper seems to be OK with be bring Light around sometimes so working there is perfect for me” said Baker.

“You really care for him don’t you?” said Rarity.

“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?, he is my nephew, and his parents trusted me with him so I have to take care of him”

“You keep saying that, I don’t understand, he is a zebra”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well if he is a zebra…”

“You can stop right there Rarity, I don’t give a flying feather that my nephew is a zebra. My sister and brother in law adopted him and took him into their home. They love him just as much as they love my nieces. Anyone who doesn’t understand that an adopted child is just as much a member of the family as a personally born child just needs to look at the love they have to know it is pure” said Baker with an edge in his voice and a far away look in his eyes.

Rarity pulled back “Sorry”

“It’s OK; that important part is that Light is OK”

“So what did you talk to Princess Celestia about?” asked Twilight in an effort to defuse the conversation.

“When I went to talk to Celestia and Luna I had two purposes in mind. The first was getting back to my homeland. After all me and Light kind of appeared in the Everfree with no idea how we got there. His parents are no doubt worried sick about him if there was a way to get him back to them then I have to take it no matter what the cost to me. It turned out that they had no idea how I got here to anyway to get back. So I needed there help to become a citizen of Equestria so I could survive here and raise the little guy until somepony figures out a way to get me back home”

“Why would you need their help to become a citizen? Shouldn’t you have talked to an immigration official?” asked Twilight.

“Well I come from pretty far away, so far that Equestria had never even heard to my nation, thus I would not have been able to put down a previous address, which would make it impossible for me to get into the country, and since I was in no danger in the homeland, I couldn’t apply for refugee or asylum status. I came from so far away that I needed them to give me a whole new identity”

“Why couldn’t you just put down the truth?” asked Applejack.

“That’s a secret”

“Come on Tell us, tell us, tellustellustellus!” begged Rarity.

“I don’t mean a personal secret, I mean a state secret. If you want me to tell you the whole truth I am afraid you are going have to send of message to one of the princesses and get a sign and sealed decree from the one of them giving me express permission to tell you by back story, until then I can’t tell you anything”

“So if I do get a decree will you tell us” Asked Twilight looking right in Baker’s eyes.

Baker smiled “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” performing the correct motions and remembering to close his eye before poking himself.

“You said you never been here before. How in the wide world of Equestria do you know how to do a Pinkie Pie Swear?”

Baker shrugged “Still going to need the royal seal”

Comments

[Snowy Flanks]

1474905
I have no plans for anything real shipping in this story, it is all about Baker and Light

[Luckyfanisaac]

“HEY EVERYPONY! The guest of honor is here!” shouted Pinkie

3:21

Anyone who doesn’t understand that an adopted child is just as much a member of the family as a personally born child just needs to look at the love they have to know it is pure” said Baker with an edge in his voice and a far away look in his eyes.

1:02

[KvAT]

I kinda like how Baker' speedrunning the whole "Settling into Equestria" thing.