Back inside Stable 4, I was destined for greatness. Outside, I was nothing more than a filly. At the same time, I also seemed to fit in very well into the horribly violent Equestrian wasteland, more than you would expect from somepony my age.
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Yikes, that's a dark ending.
I wonder how candy got away from the ghouls, I mean I know she ran. But they can be fast. A line about how she got away woulda been nice.
11381242
Good point. I kinda didn't wanna fix it due to laziness, but I might as well. So, done. Added two lines of dialogue about it.
Reason I'm reluctant touch these old chapters is because I know I'd get swept in an urge to rewrite 75% of every paragraph.
Even this chapter, which got a minor facelift last year, made me cringe when I read the old dialogue.And sorry about the last scene. Well, I'm not sorry for how dark it is, but I am sorry for how it was executed. In its current state it's essentially just shock value. I'd have changed it already but I'd pretty much need to rewrite the entire first volume from scratch.
Oh, and big thanks for the comments, I really appreciate those!
Oh! Candy, you're so cute <3!!!
AWw.. you know how to soften this grumpy heart.
<3! Awww.. <3!
NOOOOoo...
Ah! From this point on, my rage began to read it quickly. Damn, I think I've grown very fond of Candy. Come on, Iron, I've all my faith in you!!
A little bit surprised the gambit ended up as a 'simple' sleep-drug-and-rape hit. I was expecting Silver, as a master of negotiation, to e.g. gain their trust for a longer period of time before selling them into slavery.
Also, wild guess: the missing data relates to the stars?
11525756
Yeah, that's understandable. Silver as a whole is what I'd consider the biggest misstep and missed opportunity of volume 1.
And yep, it is. I think you're the first person to make the link.
damn that's one strong mare for swimming like that
called it! but I wasn't expecting it so soon
11568933
Well, the question remains as to what that perk entails