Page generated in 0.054 seconds
Total duration
936 users online
2,859,328 hits today, 2,623,277 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Before I read this, you do NOT want to start off with something like this for your first story, make a one shot and then maybe try a story but a mandalorian displaced in the "your human and you" universe is not really the best start and I actually came here hoping to find a quality story that (hopefully) won't die after the first four chapters, now please note I'm not trying to be rude or mean or anything, so feel free to work on this but just saying feel free to work on a one shot or short story after getting hang on writing
You know their wounds has been cauterize right
10286322
I know but I wanted to try but thanks for the advicxe it will help. And don't worry I will try to bring quality (even if it's my first story) I thought for a long time before make this story so I know how I want to make it but again thank you for the advice I will try to improve it.
10286421
Alright I understand. May I ask why the MC giggled? I mean isn't he a guy and most guys don't giggle? But that's me. But yeah I don't think I'll track this, I'll probably come back to this at some point when you gotten better and edited older chapters soo, good luck it with it dude.
PS: it may help getting a proof reader
10286334
Yeah I know but I wanted to make the thing a little gore and for me it's logic because at a certain time blood will exit the body if an arm is cut but thanks I will try to make things more right.
Quick question, was this Google translated from your native language?
Because the number of grammatical mistakes is staggering, I can't point them all right now as I'm on mobile but pretty much the whole chapter needs a rewrite.
This is really horrible
It should be:
"I see you awake, good. Now to explain the situation: in this Equestria, the races have enslaved another species, and I've seen you hated that so it's why I bring you here."
What he said really pissed me off. I hate slavery, it's something disgusting, and if I can stop it I will for sure.
It should be:
That revelation shocked me
.
This story is full of flaws like that. Come on, English isn't my first language either yet I know better than that.
It should be that the Darksaber can cut his spear in two. If you want an editor, feel free to message me.
10288856
Some people just aren't fluent in English. I actually edit stories for several people that make huge grammatical errors as well as minor ones and my mind tends to autocorrect for me, so I guess it doesn't bother me as much.
10288856
Jeez, could you say this in a nice way?! God I hate when people say criticisms this way.