"Good morning, Doc. I hope things are fine in the latter-” I started to say to Dr. Blueheart as I closed the door behind me, although a somewhat severe cough began to invade my body and I was forced to put my left hand in front of my mouth to cover it and prevent the rest of the place from being contaminated by my cough.
Dr. Blueheart noticed my cough and looked at me with a confused and thoughtful face; then he spoke...
"Is something wrong, Mr. Frederickson?... You don't look healthy, hell, I would even dare to say that I'm worried about your health. Are you sure you're okay?” The doctor approached me and asked me to sit in a chair so he could examine me with a medical device.
"Being honest-" I said, but the cough invaded my body again and prevented me from continuing speaking; but, even so, I decided to wait for it to low down and then continue talking... "I don't think I'm in optimum condition, if that's what you're asking, doc."
"Tell me, any pain or discomfort I should know about?" Blueheart looked at me and I gave him a sigh along with a somewhat ironic smile...
"As you surely have noticed-" I said, but the cough interrupted me again, this time it was much worse, to such a level that the doctor worried, then the cough stopped and I could continue talking...
"...I've been suffering from a very severe cough... *Sigh* ...besides I have felt very tired without even having realized any activity... worse still, when coughing, from time to time-" I coughed again. very severe shape, while also covering my mouth with my left hand. When I withdrew it, I saw traces of fresh blood in it, which made me understand I had coughed it myself; I showed it to the doctor and said...
"...Sometimes I cough up blood from my lungs and have suffered from lack of breath while sleeping... to such an extent that I have almost suffocated at night." I looked at the doctor with some concern on my face, since I knew this had to be something serious to be affecting me so much in the last week. Blueheart then grabbed a stethoscope and put it on my chest, asked me to breathe and I did, although the cough prevented me again to do it.
An hour and a half passed, and I was still in Dr. Blueheart's office, waiting for the studies and tests he had been doing on me; I was lying on one of the stretchers, looking up at the ceiling as I struggled to prevent the cough from consuming my ability to breathe, at the same time I was thinking about my state of health, and how serious it was. As I was concentrating on thinking about it, I failed to notice that Dr. Blueheart had returned from where he had examined some tests and also made the diagnosis of my health. When I finally realized that he was back, I sat on the table while coughing again and said...
"So how severe is?" I asked with seriousness, which the doctor noticed, although he could not help showing an expression of sadness and a little anxiety, which made me realize what I had was not a good thing...
"*Sigh* ...Do you really want to know the results?" He asked with the same expression on his face, although, despite that, I nodded in response and he continued... "I am sorry to inform you, Mr. Frederickson, you got Tuberculosis... I'm terribly sorry." His expression reflected how he felt, it was notorious he couldn't accept the fact that someone had contracted the disease.
Instead of being surprised, I nodded at understanding what I had, then I saw him and said...
"Isn't there some way to cure it?" I asked, he answered with the same tone...
"No. And even if there were, it would be useless... The tuberculosis you have contracted is at an advanced phase. Please tell me, how long has it been like this?" He asked me with a clear tone of interest and a great concentration on what my answer would be. Seeing him like this, waiting for my answer, I spoke...
"Two weeks, although the coughing up blood and exhaustion are newer-" I coughed again, covered my mouth with the same hand as always and waited for it to go away again, and when it did, I kept saying... "Doc, be honest with me, how much time do I have left to live?” This surprised the doctor, who looked at me nervously; Hh already knew that I was going to die, but he didn't want to say it coldly.
I kept looking at him for a few seconds, I concluded...
"I'm not stupid, doc. I know I will die soon… now tell me-” I coughed another time, although being so fed up with this situation, I continued speaking… “How much time do I have left?”
Dr. Blueheart looked at the floor and was silent for a few seconds, then, when he was ready to speak, he sighed and said... "Tuberculosis is very aggressive and develops in less than a month, so... *Sigh* ...Seeing you like this, I can only say that... *Ahem* ...you have no more than 2 weeks to live... I am so sorry.” Dr. Blueheart was silent and proceeded to leave the room, but not before levitating a cup with his magic and putting it on his desk; just before leaving he turned to see me and said...
"If you want, I will leave you my special drink... Coffee and Whiskey... it'll help to alleviate the pain." Blueheart smiled and went back to the door, opened it, and proceeded to leave the place.
"Hey, Doc!... Thanks. For being honest with me.” I thanked him, a gesture which he seemed to appreciate; it was then that he nodded, looked towards the hospital hallway, and left the room.
When the door closed, I looked at the cup with the doctor's special drink. I thought for a few moments and decided to pick up the cup and drink the coffee and whiskey in it...
To Be Continued...
Not bad, but you do have some errors here and there. I do think this could turn out good, but you would need to get an editor and hammer out some of the kinks.
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Alright, but I don't have money to pay an editor.
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Uh huh, well you could look in the 'looking for editors' group, while a mixed bag you can find someone to edit for free.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
But i wish you luck with the story, and ill keep an eye on it.
Can’t wait to see where this goes, cuz you have me hooked!
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I just hope everyone likes the development of this story, I'll admit something... in some parts, the story is a little... *How should I put this?* ...Rushed.
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Eh, we all have those moments in writing. It’ll work out in the end though, trust me.
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Wow... thank you, I actually haven't thought about it, so... yeah, thank you so much. I just hope you'll all enjoy this story.
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By the way, a new chapter coming in a few hours, I hope you'll enjoy it as I enjoyed writing it. Title - Chapter 2: Telling the Truth.
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Don’t mention it! Also, can’t wait for the next chap!
Can't wait for the next chapter. You got me hooked on this story.
Hmm .. mortality from this disease is not high, it takes a long time to heal (cure the disease quickly, but the consequences are long), but quite successfully. Even in advanced stages for neglected cases(3+ mounth)..
Cancer would be more believable ..
And this is in considering of the magical healing, which is better than our current technological.
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Curiously, it was originally going to be about cancer, but... I felt like, if I did this the wrong way, I might make feel the ones who have or are suffering from cancer offended or... something. You know what I mean.
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Besides, it's an "Equestrian Tuberculosis". More or less.
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"Equestrian Tuberculosis"
then ok, cuz IRL/Earth Tuberculosis.. in fact it is quite easy to cure (if in the early stages), just long (from 3 months to several years, in severe cases; and expensive)
*all other things in the story looks good
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Equestrian Tuberculosis have magic, and magic beats everything.
oh boi... that sound horrible, but on the other hand. it would be very... liberating to know i only had such less tie left. better than just die...