• Published 21st May 2020
  • 1,028 Views, 39 Comments

How to punch a prince and be hailed as a hero. - Light Heart101



Book Knight was tired, bruised, frustrated, and sick of Blueblood's attitude, so he punched the prince. Who knew how much praise you could get for assault on royalty?

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Investigations and rewards.

Book was rather surprised when he was led into a large bedroom. It had accommodations that any diplomat would be content with. From the king-sized bed that looked like it would make a pegasus give up clouds to the large bathroom with the equivalent of a hot tub for a pool. He knew Luna ordered him to be held in a VIP room, but he didn’t know they were giving him one that was this nice.

“Boys, I know that I was assigned a VIP room, but not all of them are this good. What gives?” Book asked the guards.

“Well… we decided this room would be best because… there are no windows.” One of the guards managed to sputter out.

Book raised an eyebrow at this. They were right about how securable this room was, but that didn’t help the fact that it was a high-class VIP room.

Almost as soon as Book had been taken into the room, three doctors walked in, all looking rather interested in Book. “Um, excuse me, are you Mr. Knight?”

Book nodded as he walked over to them. “Of course. Do you need to ask me some questions? I’m not going anywhere if you are worried that I’ll walk out.” Book said as the stallion and two mares got clearance from the guards at the door.

“I’m Dr 3-O Silk. I'm Celestia and Luna’s personal physician.” The stallion said before gesturing to the two mares. “The unicorn is the head nurse for the officers, Penny Cillen. The earth pony is the princess’s personal chiropractor, C.R. Tunnel. We heard that a medic was needed to check on you and Ms. Dash, and when we heard about what happened to Blue… I mean, the train, we all decided to volunteer to check on you.”

Book looked confused at the doctors. He knew that protocol allowed doctors to volunteer to care for prisoners, but these were the best of the best in Canterlot. They NEVER do prisoner detail.

Before Book could ask questions, Penny started checking Book’s body. “Wow… I’m starting to doubt that this pony punched out Blueblood. A pony with battering rams like these could level that weak gate easily.” She mused while examining Book’s well-toned hooves.

Book gave a small chuckle at her analysis. “Doesn’t mean I couldn’t hold back. I don’t need to go full force to…”

“Mr. Knight, I would recommend you listen to our professional medical opinions. Your body has clearly been well developed and is a specimen many stallions would envy. Surely a stallion with your strength that is able to beat off a gang of bandits alongside a bearer of harmony can cause a lot more damage than a... admittedly largely bruised chin.” Silk said as he walked over to Book to do his own examination. “Write that down for me Tunnel.”

“Of course doctor.” The other doctor said eagerly as she was taking down notes.

Book found this ridiculous as the nurse and doctor were both checking Book thoroughly. They literally told him that he would have broken the prince’s jaw with a real punch. Book may have been angry, but he was skilled enough to control how much damage he deals. There was no reason to tell him how strong he was.

Unless… No... They wouldn’t…

“Lots of bruising in the hoof area, most likely due to the fight on the train. No way of distinguishing if Book could have punched the prince or not. Several bruises on the body, yet no broken bones. Only a couple of minor lacerations. I’m going to do a magical check for any fracturing in the bones that I may have missed.” Penny elaborated to Tunnel before scanning Book with her magic. “Hm, no fracturing. Looks like you have some endurance.”

They were! Book started to realize as soon as they mentioned his hooves he realized what the doctors were doing. They were trying to paint him as innocent. They were sticking their necks and high positions out for him of all ponies.

“A… are you three seriously trying to get me a…” Before Book could finish asking his question, the doctors had him lay on the bed.

“Just keep quiet for now. We are professionals, and we only want what's best for you.” Tunnel said with a wink before turning to her colleagues. “So, what’s your verdict?”

“I’d recommend an Epsom salt bath with a few extra herbs. After the bath I'd also recommend some lotion for his bruises for a quick recovery of his body.” Silk said as he was writing out some paperwork.

Penny nodded as she finished checking Book’s body. “Okay Tunnel, he’s yours.”

“Um… I know that you all are trying to be nice but…” Book paused as he felt the earth pony starting to massage him. “Ohhhh… I’ve never had one of these before.”

Tunnel giggled as she was working the knots out of Book’s body. “Just relax. A person of your reputation deserves the best.”

Book grunted a bit as he felt the mare rubbing his tough back. He knew that couldn't be talking about his hero work since it was extremely secretive. Of course, Book had a few high-level doctors handle him, but none of them were allowed to even see his face at the time. “Um, my work as the main security officer of Ponyville could be considered noble, but I wouldn’t call it a most honorable position, considering that there’s little to no crime there.”

Penny giggled as she leaned over to his ear and whispered gently. “Allow us to extend the right of doctor-patient confidentiality when we say that we are talking about the pony who punched out Blueblood.”

Book’s eyes widened as he realized what they were saying. “You mean… you’re treating me like this… because I…”

“Again, doctor-patient confidentiality.” Silk said before he looked around, even peeking his head out to see if anybody was listening in.

All he saw was the guards that were standing rather closely by the door, but one of them winked at the doctor. “Go ahead. Do it. We’re not going to say anything. We want to know all about it.” The guard said eagerly.

Silk nodded as he walked back inside and faced Book. “I don’t think you understand the hero you’ve become. That little jerk has been a pain to the staff of this castle for too long! Do you know how many ponies have dreamed about doing what you have done? The doctor assigned to Blueblood took photos for “medical” reasons. The second word got out all the guards were asking for copies for their photo albums.” Silk explained to the fighter with excitement.

Book was shocked to hear him praise him so highly. He felt like such praise should go to a pony who punched Tirek in the face. “A… are you saying that everypony here hates Blueblood as much as I do?”

“Except royalty and ponies who haven’t met him.” Tunnel whispered with a slight giggle. “Right now you are our personal hero.”

“And we’re going to make sure that even if you are taken out of the game, you’re going out in style,” Penny said with a bright smile. “Now, Silk and I will prepare the bath while Tunnel works out the stress in your back.”

Book was speechless as he was being groomed and cared for just for punching a prince. As he was receiving what felt more like a grooming treatment, he started thinking to himself. “I know I was joking, but maybe I will end up getting married in prison at this rate.”


“Okay, explain what happened carefully,” Celestia said as she was talking to Dash who had a few bandages on her to handle a few of her more serious bruises. Apparently Dash had a couple of bones in her wing dislocated and a fractured rib. She would medically have to have a month or two to recover before rejoining the Wonderbolts.

Celestia already made it a point to personally write Spitfire to brief her on the situation and also to explain that Dash would be staying in Canterlot to be a witness in a classified case concerning Blueblood and Book. Of course, the princess had to send some details since Spitfire had a high enough rank to know about such information.

Now it was just a matter of Dash coming up with a lie good enough to pass in court.

“Well, when I walked into the locker room with Book I said, “Watch out for any soap on the floor everybody!” I specifically told Blueblood that some loose soap on the floor could cause all kinds of accidents. Sadly Blueblood slipped and fell…”

“Onto Book’s hoof?” Celestia asked with a groan as her secretary was writing everything down.

“No. He hit his head on the sink. Book tried to help him up, but Blueblood wouldn’t have it and blamed Book.”

“So, he slipped, hit the sink, and Wammo?” Celestia asked to confirm.

Dash nodded. “Exactly!”

The secretary looked concerned as she looked at Celestia. “Do you really want to use the word Wammo?”

Celestia cringed at her poor grammar. “No, it sounds pretty sloppy… Let’s use Bam! That’s a good classic.”

Dash nodded in agreement. “And that’s my testimony.” She said with a big smile on her face.

“Thank you,” Celestia said before turning to the secretary. “That should be good. You may go now. I wish to talk to Dash in private.”

“Of course, your highness.” The secretary said before bowing and leaving.

Dash looked a little curious as she was face to face with the princess. “So… is there a problem? If it’s about the bandages, I’m fine. I guess I’m not as good of a fighter as Book was.”

“Dash. I’m not too worried about Book right now. Well, I am admittedly concerned about losing a strong defense against high-level criminals, but I am more concerned about what you are doing.” Celestia tried to say calmly as she walked over to the pegasus.

Dash looked a little scared at the alicorn closing in on her. “Well, It’s nothing personal against your kid, your highness…”

Celestia stopped her before she could keep talking. “Please, I’ve been aware of Blueblood’s actions for some time now. His pride has become a large weakness for him, and I don’t think I ever thought of a way to handle his increasing ego due to his position. Book did something I think a lot of ponies wanted to do for a while now. I just wish that there was another way for my nephew to learn some humility. My real concern is you going against one of your best friends, Twilight.”

Dash bit her lip as she looked at the princess. “Oh, yeah. She’s ticked at me, isn’t she?”

Celestia nodded. “I believe that’s the word from it. I refuse to say it in front of anypony else, but I know you are lying, and Twilight is fuming at you abandoning her.”

“I’m not abandoning her. I’m just… disagreeing with her right now.” Dash tried to explain as she brushed her mane back. “I know that she and Book used to be friends before Book became the edgy superhero. I just don’t think their status should end as enemies. I’m not letting the pony who saved me and the rest of the ponies on that train get arrested just because some snob prince wanted to insult a real stallion. No offense…” Dash said defensively.

Celestia sighed as she rubbed her forehead. “Don’t tell anypony I said this, but he is a rather snob prince.”

Dash giggled a little at her admission. “So, do you think Book can get out of this?”

Celestia shrugged. “Twilight has yet to give her testimony, probably to do some legal research and give you time to think about this. She does want to press charges against Book, but she wants to keep you safe, in spite of your stance in this matter. She’s refused to talk to anybody about it until the initial investigation is done and all they’ll need is her testimony. Right now it’s yours and Book’s word against theirs.”

“So… are our odds good?” Dash asked nervously.

Celestia shook her head. “You’re up against a prince and a princess. Don’t bet on it.”


Book felt rather relaxed after he took his hour-long bath according to his doctor’s recommendation. He was rather impressed by the design of the tub. He heard about tubs like this in a spa, but for it to be in a bathroom showed how VIP this room was. His body felt great after Tunnel worked out the knots in his muscles, and the long soak only helped him relax and heal. He started to wonder if this is what other officers did then they had vacation time. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time.

He did like the fact that the doctors did leave before he got into the tub. He never was one for sharing a bath, and it would have taken hero worship to an uncomfortable level. He followed the doctor’s directions after the bath and put some lotion they gave him on any bruises that still remained, rather intrigued by its cooling effect. He made a mental note to get some more if he gets released.

During his time of relaxation, he had plenty of time to think about what the consequences would be for his punch. It was a high crime and could see him behind bars for twenty years. Well, maybe ten with good behavior, but he’d never get along in prison. Vigilantes don’t work well behind bars. There could be a chance of a more secure prison or a private cell considering his background.

Then again, there was also the chance of a plea deal. Luna would surely try to make a deal to let him go. She was the one who helped him become Equestria’s superhero in the first place. Her influence could help settle Blueblood… but even if she pulls that off, she’d need to handle Twilight, and the only deal she’d offer would be if he’d quit being a hero. She never did like his sheer lack of friendship skills when he was dressed up like a hero who tends to punch out criminals.

Well, there doesn’t seem to be any obvious way out of this, so he might as well enjoy the VIP treatment for now. As he left the bathroom, he was met by what looked like the investigative officer along with a couple of other ponies with suits and briefcases.

The officer wasn’t one that Book was familiar with, but he could tell that he wasn’t going to risk his career to clear Book’s name.

“Alright, Mr. Knight. We have been asked to keep this confidential so the press doesn’t have a field day, so let’s make this simple. I am captain Script. These ponies here are your assigned lawyer and attorney. I am here to take your statement and ask some questions about the events that happened the other day.” The officer explained as he got out a quill and notepad.

Book knew that this wasn’t an ideal situation. He knew that Dash would have already given her report by now, so this was where their stories could contrast. This also raised the stakes a lot more than he would like. If he confessed or if Dash’s lie fell apart, she’d be charged with perjury and could even be considered an accessory to the crime.

It was time to go all-in on lying his way out. After all, she was the element of loyalty. Her neck is worth more than his. The only problem was that he had no clue what kind of lie Dash would try to weave to cover this up with.

Before any questions could be asked, Book heard a gruff voice from the other side of the door. “At ease. Is Lieutenant Book Knight in here? Dash told us about the “Soap” incident and we wanted to learn about it.”

“Sorry, Ma’am. The investigator is in there, and he asked not to be disturbed.”

Bok heard a group of ponies groaning softly outside as the investigator rolled his eyes. Book had to study up on ready body language for interrogations. This led him to believe that what he heard was no frame-up job. He now had something to go off of.

He knew Dash was usually a simplistic liar, sticking with what would be the most simple and believable. With the hint of soap, he could guess that she likely claimed she slipped. However, now this investigator knew that he could guess that.

“So, I guess you heard that?” Script asked sternly, looking like he was expecting some made-up story from him.

The mare who appeared to be his assigned lawyer tried to talk Book out of talking. “Legally you don’t have to answer that.”

Book knew that staying silent would only make this officer press on the issue, so he had to think of what details Dash might have given.

Well, Dash always had an ego, so maybe she made herself some way how it could have been avoided. “Well, she did warn Blueblood about it.”

A look of shock came over Script when he heard Book say that. “W… what do you mean by that?” Script asked as he was trying to go over his notes.

“The soap on the floor. You know how it is in locker rooms nowadays. You get that liquid soap when you shower and you’re on the clock. So you have to rush and it tends to make a little mess. Then you have these little puddles of soapy water or even just straight liquid soap spilled on the floor. You as an officer should know what I’m talking about.” Book explained calmly, not wanting to give any tip-offs away.

The officer looked confused as he kept referencing his notes. “Um… Why would Dash tell something so simple to a prince?”

“Well, I guess it was a common courtesy. Maybe she thought that a prince like him wouldn't be too common with the condition of military locker rooms. Even as a stunt pony she knows what those look like.” Book explained as the lawyers looked at him, looking impressed.

“So… you’re saying he slipped?”

Book nodded as he tried to think about where Blueblood could have gotten such a bruise. Well, they were by the sinks at the time… “Yes, and he hit his head on the sink. It was a simple accident.”

“I see, so why would the prince say you struck him?” Script asked as he tried to regain his composure.

Book could see that he was being baited, so he went with the most probable answer he could. “I just tried to break his fall. I guess he thought I was attacking him instead of catching him.”

“And what about the princess?” Script pressed Book, wanting to try and understand the facts. "Why would she disagree with you?"

Book admittedly had no good idea of how to get around somepony as precise and technical as Twilight. He didn’t even know how Dash could lie her way past her. “I don’t know. She may not have been looking when he hit the sink and have seen me holding Blueblood. I wasn’t looking at her at the time, so I can’t say.”

“I see. So, would you have a reason to assault Blueblood?” Script asked again before the mare spoke up again.

“Do not answer that.” She said sternly, earning Book’s agreement and silence.

Script looked at Book before moving on. “Do you and Blueblood have any arguments or fights?”

“Don’t answer that either.” The attorney, a large stallion, ordered Book again.

Script sighed as he knew he wasn’t getting any further with his questioning. “Okay, you are free to have visitors, but under guard supervision. Expect further questioning at the trial. You will be notified when a trial date is set. Thank you for your time.” He said before walking out of the room.

As soon as the officer left, the lawyer let out a deep breath as she sat down. “You are the best liar I’ve ever met.”

Book raised an eyebrow as he sat down on his bed. “What makes you think I’m lying?”

“Because a nurse asked us in private that you got these photos.” The attorney said as he handed Book an envelope. Book opened it to find several shots of Blueblood’s face with a large bruise on his jaw. "If it was an accident, there would be no need for you to have one."

Book rubbed his own jaw as he looked at the photo. “Well, at least they got his good side.”

“If he even has one.” The attorney said as he got his papers together. “Listen, it’s a game of word vs word right now. Odds are we can stretch this out for a while with this story. Given enough time, and considering the fact that this would pit two strong friends against each other, I think we can get you out on a good plea deal in a month or two. We may be able to even get the charges dropped with any luck.”

Book smiled as he handed them the envelope back. “Thank you, but I can’t allow myself to be discharged. My duty of protecting my people is something I can’t give up. I hope you understand.”

Both law-ponies looked concerned, but they nodded. “We understand, and we’ll do our best. Is there anything we can do for you?”

“Yeah, send a letter to my family letting them know that I’m okay and my current situation. Tell them that I don’t want my dad anywhere near this, and send the photos back with the letter. I’m sure Light Heart would love those pics.” Book said with a small grin as he laid back on the bed. “Right now I wouldn’t mind turning in early.”

“Understood. We’ll check in with you once we get a report of what evidence they have gathered so we can talk about how to proceed in this case.” The mare said before they both walked out, revealing that Spitfire was waiting outside the door.

“Lieutenant Book?” Spitfire asked as she saluted her fellow officer.

Book nodded as he stood up and saluted her back, knowing that she outranked him as a captain. “Of course. I would ask what you need me for, but I can’t exactly leave my room.”

“I understand. We just wanted to ask about what happened.” Spitfire said as she motioned the rest of the Wonderbolts into the room.

Book looked rather curious as he saw Dash’s entire team walking towards him. “Um… okay? If it’s about the train, I don’t work well with others, but she has some experience. With some proper combat training, she can reduce her chances of getting hurt in the future…”

“Um, excuse me Book, if we can be informal here. We have plans on asking Dash for more details on that incident when she recovers. Right now we want to talk to you about something more important.” Spitfire said sternly as the Wonderbolts surrounded him, all looking rather eager.

Book straightened up as Spitfire neared his face, mentally preparing for a fight with some of the fastest ponies in Equestria. “If you all plan to attack me, you shouldn’t have done it indoors. I’m not afraid of a few punches.” Book warned her silently, not wanting to show any sign of fear while giving her a chance to back off.

Spitfire didn’t react violently to his threat. In fact, she looked more bewildered than anything. “W… what? No! We aren’t here to beat you up! Not with the guards right outside the door.” She tried to explain, looking rather defensive.

Book glanced at Blaze, who was glancing out the door and looking down the hall. “Then why are you all here?” Book asked sternly as he faced the Captain.

“Let me be frank then,” Spitfire said as she took off her shades. “We want to know about the punch.”

Book raised an eyebrow as he started to wonder how far this resentment for Blueblood has extended. “Oh, that whole thing? Don’t tell me you all are forming a fan club because of it.”

“Are you kidding? You’re going to be a legend in the military and the castle staff now! Do you know how many parties all of us had to tolerate with him?” Thunder exclaimed, earning a collective hush from the others.

Spitfire chuckled as she faced Book. “You don’t know how many times I’ve complained to Celestia about him trying to order my team around for private shows or very monotonous tasks.”

“Yeah, I was getting sick of being asked to fetch groceries from another town for him,” Fleetfoot explained with a groan.

“Hm. I thought you all weren’t much for fighting?” Book asked curiously as he slowly eased up.

“Not really, but quite a few of us have been tempted. We just had careers to worry about.” Soarin explained.

“Understandable,” Book admitted with a nod.

“So come on then! Spill the details! What was it like to punch him in the face?” Fire Streak asked eagerly as all the Wonderbolts were watching him earnestly.

“Hey, I’m going on record when I say that it was an accident. He slipped on a bar of soap.” Book asserted, earning some disgruntled grumbling from the others.

Spitfire simply raised her hoof to silence the others. “And off the books?” She asked the fighter with a small grin.

Book grinned back as he spoke softly. “Like a date made in heaven between my hoof and his face.”

The Wonderbolts all chuckled as they were listening closely. “Go on. Tell us how you did it!”

Book gave a light-hearted chuckle as he turned around. “So, I was facing the other way when he made the final push that led to the punch. So, all it took was one swift turn…” Book then slowly turned back to Spitfire, raising his hoof to the exact path where he swung before stopping an inch from her face. “And boom. Swift, easy, and restrained. If I let loose I could have done a lot more damage.”

The group all chuckled as they saw a simple illustration of this legendary punch. “Don't you wish you could have put a bit more into that punch?” Spitfire asked with a cheeky grin.

“I’ve put up with my fair share of Blueblood, but I figured that punch would have gotten through to him. Sadly he’s still a jerk, but I bet he’ll bite his lip the next time he tries to mess with a real fighter.” Book explained with a chuckle of his own.

“Hu, I wouldn’t guess that the only guard in Ponyville would be a skilled fighter.” Spitfire mused, looking intrigued by Book’s skills.

“I take pride in my skills, considering the major magical threats that have been affecting our country. From what I’ve heard your combat training is lacking at best.” Book pointed out bluntly.

Spitfire’s eyes widened at Book’s audacity. A part of her wanted to chew him out, but then she thought about Dash’s injuries, and she had seen more fights than any of the Wonderbolts. She could only turn away as she muttered softly. “Well, we are mainly stunt flyers.”

Book sighed as he decided that if he was stuck here, he might as well try to educate them. “Tell you what, I want to get to sleep early, but I can take a couple of hours and show you all some simple tricks that will keep you alive in a fight.” Book offered as he leaned back.

Soarin looked confused at this. “Really? You want to give us fighting lessons?”

Book shrugged. “Why not? You all are finding me fun and I’m stuck here. Trust me, these tricks are an old family recipe, with my own spices.” Book said as he stretched out his hooves. “And I can teach you without punching you.”

Spitfire started to think about what skills Book could have, and the threats that they have lost against in combat. She sighed as she turned to Book. “Alright, show us what you’ve got.”

Book grinned as he readied himself to try and teach some stunt flyers how fighting really works. “Alright. Lesson number one. How to throw a punch.”