And with that, the Solar Diarch turned, and trotted out the door, muttering something about finding some cake and a bourbon. As she made her way back towards her half of the castle, she tried her very best to ignore the sound of Applejack bucking over, and over, and over again to the soundtrack of Duke’s pained cries.
While the execution went on, Twilight coughed politely to catch Luna’s attention.
“So… you’re gonna erase her memory again, right?”
“Twilight,” Luna sighed, “I can’t just keep erasing Celestia’s memories every time she finds out. It’s starting to have a deleterious effect on her mind. Like poor Pale Mist over there.”
Pale Mist narrowed her eyes at this.
“Aw shucks, don’t fret none,” Applejack said.
Buck!
“Aargh!”
“Ye jes can’t handle the pressure too long, so’s ya ask for a wipe every month or so.”
Buck!
“For fuck’s sake, just shoot me already!”
“Crossbows aren’t an appropriate execution device,” Blueblood nickered, then waggled his eyebrows at a clearly blushing purple Alicorn, “There’s… regulations.”
Pale Mist gaped. “But, I… I just started last week…”
Twilight, recovering briefly, turned back towards Princess Luna, “Just one more time, okay?”
“I suppose we have no choice…”
Buck!
“… but come up with a backup plan for breaking the news to her before then, alright?”
“My neck! Just aim for ze neck!”
“Shaddup! I know what ah’m doin’!”
“Come on, you inbred hinny! Just pretend it eez your brother’s dick, and buck like you mean it…!”
Twilight beamed, “You two could always just retire if that happens…”
There was a meaty snap, and Duke Mustang finally stopped… well, everything. Applejack collapsed beside him, panting from the effort.
“I know it’s an honor… and it’s important an all that… but I hate this job.”
Blueblood stood up from the bench and began to walk towards the door. He laughed, and over his shoulder said, “That’s government work for you. Have a good night, Princesses.”
I can understand why this was cut from the main story but still, it works quite well as a sorta "deleted scene". I am half tempted to do that with my own story once I finish my 2nd chapter for my new story which I use to keep my mind off of writers block. I did not expect the inbred "cousin-fucker" reference though. I must say you really did surprise me with that one. Really hope to see how this story progresses. 👍👍👍
10020547
Hope that was meant as a good sort of surprise! I don't expect every, or even most, of these anthology stories to be so foul-mouthed... but I figure more than enough to warrant the tags on the main story. Thanks again for the comment!
I imagine a lot of pitying looks following the bit about first week.
“I know it’s an honor… and it’s important an all that… but I hate this job.”
"That’s government work for you."
Sooooo true some days.
--Spade
Mustang does at least have a point that Applejack should probably actually learn how to kill a horse before becoming Royal Executioner.
Yeah, mindwipes are not, in fact, the solution to all of life's problems. Not unless you also stop doing the thing that created the troublesome memory in the first place.
10020830
Given his crimes, I suspect this was intentional.
10020562
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca-e5MrVbVU
Hey, bucking him to death is probably a family tradition. But just imagine how long it took Granny Smith to do it.
I just noticed that this chapter's title is missing the definite article of the first and it upsets me a lot more than it should.
Ugh, class b amnestics really dull the mind, you know?
And despite my insistence that my immunity to them has been documented ad nauseam, they still do it.
Huffing their products no doubt.