And with that, the Solar Diarch turned, and trotted out the door, muttering something about finding some cake and a bourbon. As she made her way back towards her half of the castle, she tried her very best to ignore the sound of Applejack bucking over, and over, and over again to the soundtrack of Duke’s pained cries.
While the execution went on, Twilight coughed politely to catch Luna’s attention.
“So… you’re gonna erase her memory again, right?”
“Twilight,” Luna sighed, “I can’t just keep erasing Celestia’s memories every time she finds out. It’s starting to have a deleterious effect on her mind. Like poor Pale Mist over there.”
Pale Mist narrowed her eyes at this.
“Aw shucks, don’t fret none,” Applejack said.
Buck!
“Aargh!”
“Ye jes can’t handle the pressure too long, so’s ya ask for a wipe every month or so.”
Buck!
“For fuck’s sake, just shoot me already!”
“Crossbows aren’t an appropriate execution device,” Blueblood nickered, then waggled his eyebrows at a clearly blushing purple Alicorn, “There’s… regulations.”
Pale Mist gaped. “But, I… I just started last week…”
Twilight, recovering briefly, turned back towards Princess Luna, “Just one more time, okay?”
“I suppose we have no choice…”
Buck!
“… but come up with a backup plan for breaking the news to her before then, alright?”
“My neck! Just aim for ze neck!”
“Shaddup! I know what ah’m doin’!”
“Come on, you inbred hinny! Just pretend it eez your brother’s dick, and buck like you mean it…!”
Twilight beamed, “You two could always just retire if that happens…”
There was a meaty snap, and Duke Mustang finally stopped… well, everything. Applejack collapsed beside him, panting from the effort.
“I know it’s an honor… and it’s important an all that… but I hate this job.”
Blueblood stood up from the bench and began to walk towards the door. He laughed, and over his shoulder said, “That’s government work for you. Have a good night, Princesses.”