After the great and powerful Trixie retreated from the stage, due to a hailstorm of groceries, I spent the rest of the afternoon in the Park with Rainbow and Flitter. Mostly playing hide and seek or tag, but there had been also some breaks in which we three just snuggled together. Rainbow used this opportunity to tell us, how she tried and failed to save her friend Fluttershy from the horrible ground*.
After that we went back to Rainbows house and the two started to prepare dinner, when a horrible sound was heard. I ran to Flitter, trying to hide under her from whatever creature that was. To say that I was scared out of my mind, would be an understatement.
Rainbow left the two of us alone, to find out what was going on and if anypony needs help. She returned around one and a half hours later and I wasn't surprised when she told us that two Colts lured an Ursa Minor into town, only because they wanted to see another show from Trixie. She wasn't able to defeat it, but saved the two from getting crushed by it and held the Ursa off long enough, before Twilight was able to send it back into the forest. That was when Rainbow left, but I am curious about what happened next, so maybe I ask some ponies in town tomorrow.
I was wondering if those two got away unpunished, like in the show when Flitter ripped me out of my thoughts. "Hey Wingy, you remember that I promised to start with your flight lessons today?"
My eyes lit up in joy and I crawled out under her, "Yeah, but isn't it a bit too late for that by now?" I asked her, unsure how we could start with my training, if it was already dark outside.
"Not for the one I have in mind." She looked to Rainbow which only raised an eyebrow in confusion. There was a brief silence, before she became impatient with Rainbow. "You seriously have no Idea what I mean Rainbow?" She shook her head, unsure about where Flitter was getting with that, but waited patiently till Flitter continued. "Okay Wingy, you know that our wings are the thing that makes us Pegasi special, compared to the other Ponies?"
"Yeah, but I have no idea where you are going with this mom and I don't see how that’s related to flight lessons." I ask her as confused as Rainbow about where she is going with this.
"That is simple. I think today it's one of the more important, if not the most important of all lessons you will ever get."
Now I am curious where she is going with it and I switch glances between the two. Her look of confusion is now gone, and is that confidence what I am also seeing there? "You have any idea where she is going with this Rainbow?"
Rainbow turns her head to me and with a cocky grin on her face she responds. "If she is going where I think she is, then she is right. Maybe I wouldn't have picked that one as the first lesson, but she is right when she says that it’s very important."
She walks over from the Cloud Cushion she had been sitting on all the while and takes a very good look on both of my Wings. "Say Wingy, when was the last time you preened your Wings?"
Now I am speechless, I know that it’s necessary for all pegasi to preen and that at some point I must do that, but I just have no clue how. I hadn't preened at all since I arrived at the Castle and I couldn't just tell them that I only recently gained my wings, so I have no other chance then to bend the truth a bit. "I really don't know." I admit my head hangs low in shame, but not for the reason the two may think.
"That explains a lot," both of them answer in unison, before only Flitter continues. "Rainbow would you mind showing her how it's done while I explain it to her?"
"Actually Flitter, I would prefer to do it on my own," she asks and after a sign of approval from Flitter, she whispers something into her ear, but I can't figure out what she says.
She makes a gesture that clearly means 'follow me', before she walks up a flight of stairs and leads us into a short hallway, with a door at the end and on each side. "The room up front is the bathroom, to the right you find my room and to the left is the guest bedroom." She opens the last mentioned door and she lets me enter first.
My jaw drops when I realize that almost everything in this room is made out of clouds. directly opposite to the door is a large Window and you can clearly see the moon and a good amount of the stars. To the left is a small desk and a potted plant, but the thing that clearly dominates the room is a huge bed, made out of clouds. The Pillows and the Blanket are dark blue and in the center of each is the image of a winged Lightning bolt.
I don't know how long I stare at this amazing sight, but I snap out of it, when somepony softly nuzzles my neck. "I know it is cool Wingy, but I think we should get started, before it's too late." I step out of the doorway, wondering what she meant with that, before I remember that we got her for the preening lessons. Rainbow and Flitter meanwhile walked past me and are now waiting on the bed for me.
I climb up to them and sit next to Flitter and we both direct our eyes directly to Rainbow. She spreads her right Wing and takes a good look at it, before she almost nuzzles her Wing and begins to reposition her feathers with her tongue. "Wingy please take a good look at her wings and then at your own, before you tell me the differences."
As asked, I take my time to examine Rainbows wings and I only need to take a short glance at my own, to understand what she means. "Hers are almost smooth, while on mine, the feathers point all in different directions."
"Exactly Wingy," Flitter replies with a smile. Rainbow looks up for a moment, grinning widely, before continuing to work on her wing. While I watch Rainbow for a bit, Flitter starts to explain to me why preening is so important before Rainbow interrupts her.
"Wingy come over here for a moment, I need to show you something." Curious about what she wants, I get up and walk the few steps towards her, sitting down close to her. She spreads her Wing before she points at something with a hoof. "You see that broken feather there?" I take a quick look and see what she means, before I nod in understandment. "This sucker needs to go, so a new one can grow there, wanna give it a try?"
Unsure,I look her into the eyes and after a soft nudge towards her wing, I carefully grab the feather between my teeth, trying to pull her out. When the feather doesn't budge, I put a bit more force into my efforts and slowly the feather comes out. "Wow, I didn't expect you to master it at the first try." She says while giving me an encouraging pat on my back. "Want to try a bit more?"
"Sure Rainbow," I reply eagerly, glad to have those two amazing ponies around me.
"Well, then go on." She encourages me and carefully I try to put her other feathers back into the proper place, all the time getting pointers from her. I stop when I see something unusual, it looks like there are two feathers in a position where only one should be. I mention it to her and she takes a quick look at it. "I see what you mean, under this one, there already started to grow a new one. To give her enough space for this, the upper one has to go."
Removing this one proves to be a bit more difficult and it takes me longer, but I manage to get the old one out, without damaging the new one. It takes me a while and I become significant slower at the end, but I take care of both her Wings. "Wow Wingy, you did great for your first time. Now lean back and let me return the favor."
Too tired to think about that, I rest my head in her lap before I spread my right wing. I enjoy it as much as possible, even if it tickles a bit, but at the moment I don’t care. With the time passing I get more and more drowsy and soon after she switches to my other wing I close my eyes, quickly drifting of into Lunas realm.
Soft snoring is heard from the filly lying in Rainbows lap, when she is done with preening. "You were right earlier when you said that this will help her to calm down. She was really scared of that Ursa."
"Yeah, even when I came back and told her that everything is fine again, she didn't stop shaking." Rainbow admitted carefully removing her from her lap and placing her in the bed. She tugs her in tightly before I move next to her and give her a kiss on the forehead. "You really like that kid Flitter?"
"Yes, from the moment I saw her." I admit. "And seeing her like that really warms my heart," I continue while looking directly at her.
"I can't deny the fact that she is growing on me to." She admits and to my surprise, gently nuzzles my cheek.
"Rainbow Dash, is that what I think it is?" I ask her, slightly blushing.
"Honestly I wanted to wait till tomorrow after dinner, but I think now is as good as ever." There is a short pause and I almost fear that she makes a hasty retreat. "Flitter, I know you now for a long time and I really love you, so I just have one Important question for you." She says before dropping on her knees. "Do you want to start a herd with me?"
I don’t know how it happens, but before I realize it, I lay in her open held hooves, my own placed around her neck and tears of joy starting to come out of my eyes, running down my cheeks. "I would love to."
After that is said we hold each other tiggly for a while, just enjoying the moment, before we retread into her room. Carefully we close the door and enjoy our first night together, before we fall exhausted into a blissful slumber.
I shot awake, totally exhausted and shaking with fear from that Nightmare. The cold sweat all over my coat is sending chills down my spine, doesn't help either to calm me down. Nor the fact that I am alone in a room, I don't remember.
I quickly make the way out of the bed I am in and step out into the hallway, before I begin to search for mommy. I walk down the stairs, searching the entire lower floor without any trace of her, before I return to the upper floor. I decide to first check out the room at the end of the hallway without any success, till only the room opposite to the one I woke up in is left unchecked.
I open the door and sigh in relief when I see her lying in a bed with another Pegasus, I don’t recognize at the moment, directly next to her. I ponder for a moment what the meaning of this is, before I decide, that this mystery is something to get solved later.
Without a second thought, I climb into the bed and try to squeeze myself between the two, without waking them. While mommy continues to sleep, the other Pegasus wakes up and looks slightly confused. "Wingy what's wrong?"
I recognize that voice, but I am still unable to remember to whom it belongs, but I know that I am as safe around her as with mommy, before I admit still slightly shivering. "I had a Nightmare."
I feel her pulling me closer to her, into a tight embrace. "Don't worry Wingy, mama D will keep you safe."
"Mama D?" I ask her confused, my tired brain unable to analyze anything at the moment.
"We will explain tomorrow okay Wingy?" I hear mommy from the other side.
"Okay." I respond, satisfied by her answer, before she scoots closer and I feel myself pressed between the two before I feel two wings playing themself over me, with the purpose to keep me warm. "Now try to sleep honey, okay?"
"Okay mommy." I close my eyes and soon fall in a deep and dreamless slumber.
Hum, you still miss a few words but you are certainly getting better in your writing, you might want to consider using using a text to speech program like Balabolka to see your mistakes better yourself. The characters behaviors seems mostly on point for the most part and I can see that you are putting in the efforts on the small details and have taken my pointers to heart and went further then what I expected from you keep it up. I thought the adoption or guardianship buy Scrip was a nice touch for a more personable bureaucrat, who is more caring and understanding, to be lenient enough to let fitter take care of her. I hope to see more of him in the future both as an antagonist and protagonist, depending where the bureaucracy flows. I wonder who will be sent to look over her to make sure she is well taken care of.
I am not to sure about the idea of the girl just wanting to stay in Equestria or stay as Flitter's foal, even if her mind was somehow I would have though that it would be more out of pony instinct then and actual desire to say near her. I wonder if that will come and go in the story goes along, maybe she has lapses in her memories.
I would wonder why she bothered interrupting Trixies show like this it might least to unwanted suspicions toward her in a bad way? So this is happening in season one I wonder how it will turn out?
Thanks for your advice. This Chapter was surprisingly easy to writ and I am glad that you gave me those advices earlier. I keep them in mind and try to use them as good as I can.
I am not sure if Written Script will show of anymore yet, since this wasn´t planned, but I see what I can do about this.
The decision from her to stay in Equestria is a mix of multiple factors. I hope that I can give a better insight in this, in another Chapter, that isn´t to far away and that should also explain, why there is a lack of Twilight Sparkle in this story. Since I plan to have all 6 Element bearers take part in this story a few times, you can be sure that she will show up, more often in the future and not only that short part in Chapter one.
Yes it starts in Season one and I used espaccialy the Boast Busters Episode to made this point clear.
I think I can admit, without spoiling anything, that this story won´t happen only in Season One.
By the way, what do you think about the idea of shipping Flitter and Rainbow? I am really curios about this.
love your story, please continue the good work :)
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Thanks
I give my best and after a day of rest I start later this day with Chapter 07
Trixie is quite a showpony. Dont think she manage to hold up her claim this time around
Maybe next time
I think you might mean this one By "InsertAuthorHere"
Keeping Your Hooves On The Ground
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Yeah, that's it.
Thank you
Mama D
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One more done, thanks.
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Thanks for pointing that out. It's taken care of now.
So far this is getting a 5/10 average rating from me. The acceptance and mental de-ageing happened way too fast unless the mommy bit is all an act.
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Thank you for your honest words. I keep that in mind for the future.
Not sure, if Wingy is de-aging randomly or not, as you point out that she is aware of the Ursa event and wondering if Snips and Snails is punished. Yet, Wingy seems to be quite comfortable calling Flitter Mommy ( not many thirty somethings would still do that if any.) If Wingy is losing the thirty year human portion of her psyche as she stays in Equestria, then that would make for tragic aspect of the character. Flitter and Dashie’s relationship seems to rushed as well and I think that would have been better later in the story. Some Stolen glances here, some awkward but sweet moments between Flitter and Rainbow Dash, while coming to grips of being a guardian of Wingy would better serve the story first.
Don’t get me wrong the story has good bones and I appreciate what is trying to said, but i feel the emotional aspect gets a bit ham handed with such abrupt changes to character dynamics this soon in the story. How and why Flitter and Dash fell in love to get to being engaged would add to the pathos.
I hope you don’t feel insulted by my observations it is a good concept for a story, but we are glancing over the emotional portions in service of what I yet do not know at this point of the story. I could be wrong and by the end I could say “brilliant narrative construction”.
Work shows promise but make us(the readers) earn the emotional pay offs later in the story..
This entire adoption and Rainbow joining the herd feels forced. Nobody likes when things are going too slow, but this is the opposite case. Everything happened way too fast.
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Yeah, I did this way too fast, pitty I realize it only months later.
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My thoughts ... well, that sure escalated fast. Didn't they just start dating?
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You mean RD and Flitter? It may seem like that at first, but they had already been friends for years.
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Yes, I saw that they were friends, but when Rainbow Dash is first introduced there really isn't enough in previous chapters to clue me in to the idea that they are more than just friends. The adoption and Rainbow joining the herd only feels rushed because there isn't enough setup to clue us in that it's coming.