• Published 10th Oct 2019
  • 1,954 Views, 303 Comments

The Amulet Job - Rambling Writer



After the Alicorn Amulet is stolen, Starlight and Rainbow Dash gather some friends to steal it back. There's no one way to plan a heist, but pulling it out of your butt and fumbling your way through the whole thing seems to work.

  • ...
2
 303
 1,954

16 - You Can't Solve Jigsaws With Hammers

Sunburst closed the final rack and stomped the dust off his hooves. “Alright,” he said, “that’s, that was just more visual spells.”

Bon Bon scribbled Visual at the designated rack on her diagram. “And you’re positive you can get us access in?” she asked. It was still hard to believe, no matter how much Sunburst knew his stuff.

“Definitely,” said Sunburst. “We just need to get back to the villa and I can start work on it.”

“Never, ever, ever say something that begins with ‘we just need to’,” Bon Bon said darkly, shooting Sunburst a stinkeye. “You’re tempting fate so hard.”

“Mmhmm. Sure.”

And yet, once they left, the worst that happened was that they got turned around a little and wound up in some hallways they didn’t recognize. Nobody paid them any attention. Not even when they were looking lost. Jerks.

As they passed an elevator, Bon Bon said, “Wait, stop. We need to think this through.”

“So you, you don’t know the way out,” whispered Sunburst.

“I thought I did! Did you do mazes as a kid?”

“Um. Kinda. I don’t- Oh, never mind. You can, you cheat them by following one wall all the way to the end.” Sunburst tapped the wall next to the elevator. “Like this one. Maybe.”

What the heck. It was better than any plan she had. “Alright. Let’s-”

Bon Bon looked at the elevator again. That elevator wasn’t on the plans… but Rainbow had noticed it… and they had yet to figure out how the cash was getting into the vault in the first place…

“That’s it,” she whispered.

“What’s it?” asked Sunburst.

“I’ll tell you when we’re out. Come on.”

Her brain shifted into orientation mode; Rainbow Dash had pointed to a point opposite the external elevator banks, but it wouldn’t hurt to be sure. Bon Bon began registering every single step she took, its distance and direction. It wasn’t long before she managed to lead Sunburst out of the back hallways and returned to the casino proper. From there, she moved with a purpose, turning for the elevators, and- Yeah, the mysterious employees-only elevator was right on the other side of the public ones. If that wasn’t the entrance to the vault, she’d eat her hat. Well, buy a hat so she could eat it.

“Thorax and the Doctor are still up in the hotel, right?” she asked Sunburst.

“I, I think so. Why?”

“That elevator we saw back there? I bet that’s the way into the vault. If we find those two and the arcanoscope, we can get a look at the magic around the vault.”

“Oh. Are we, um, going to change out of these?” Sunburst tugged at his collar.

“Follow me.”


Lyra wasn’t happy, per se, but she was certainly content. Ponyville was a nice town, but it was occasionally lacking in the orchestral department, especially in the way Octavia pooh-poohed brass sections. As the band tuned up for the rehearsal, she was reminded of the richness in sound that came from having a full band.

Her own lyre was sounding nice. Second Lyre’s was sounding nice. The entire band was sounding nice. (Except for Fourth Trumpet.) Her part wasn’t too difficult. The room they were practicing in had phenomenal acoustics. Yes, this was going to be a good rehearsal. As the conductor prepared to take the stand, she idly strummed out a scale on her lyre, so in tune (fnah fnah) with the idea of music that she didn’t even need to think about what she was doing.

Second Lyre’s ear twitched toward her, then she turned to look. She got her first good glimpse of Lyra’s lyre and her ears turned forward. “Oooh,” she said, “is that a Bumper Privateer? I heard those are made out of maple.”

“Yeah,” said Lyra, half proud, half embarrassed. “I inherited some money and splurged.” She held her instrument out for Second Lyre to get a closer look.

“Lucky. I’ve just got a Yamahay Virtuoso. I mean, it’s not bad, but…” Second Lyre’s hooves twitched, like she wanted to hold the lyre. “Look at those curves.”

“Honestly, I think half the cost is being able to say, ‘I own a Privateer’,” said Lyra. “It’s a good lyre, but it doesn’t do much a cheaper lyre can’t. If you want to compare-”

Click, click, click. The conductor (Treble Clef, right?) was tapping her baton against the lectern. “Alright, everypony ready?” she yelled.

“Later?” whispered Lyra.

“Later,” agreed Second Lyre.


Bon Bon lead Sunburst to the hotel’s stairwell. A quick check confirmed that it was empty and camera-free, like so many of its brethren elsewhere. Bon Bon and Sunburst quickly pulled their outfits off and stuffed them into his bag.

“I miss my robe,” mumbled Sunburst. Indeed, he looked incomplete without it. “What sort of big, important wizard doesn’t have a, have a robe?”

“Twilight? Celestia? Luna? Starlight?” suggested Bon Bon, not entirely facetiously.

“…I miss my robe.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. She was about to start climbing when her ear twitched. She could barely make out voices coming down the stairs. They were too hushed for her to make out their words, but she recognized the sound. “I think Thorax and the Doctor are above us,” she said. “Come on.”

The two going up met the two going down on a landing between the third and fourth floors. Bon Bon was about to ask what was going on when Thorax said, “The Doctor wants to climb into the elevator shaft.”

Bon Bon and Sunburst stared at the Doctor.

“In the elevator shaft,” the Doctor said calmly, “we saw detection spells at around the same level as the vault. I thought we could ride the elevator up, but Thorax suggested we climb into the shaft to get closer, and-”

“That was a joke,” hissed Thorax.

“Of course, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have any value!” protested the Doctor. “It’ll reduce the interference from any other nearby magic. If it’s stupid but it works, it is not stupid.”

“That’s… not the worst idea,” Bon Bon said slowly.

“Wha-? But- I thought you were smart!” wailed Thorax.

“We need to get the best view of it we can, sooner or later,” said Bon Bon. “Why not now and get it over with? And if we get caught, we can just say we were, I don’t know, um…” She nibbled on her hoof.

“Elevator surfing,” said Sunburst quietly.

“Right, that,” said Bon Bon. “So we I’m sorry, what? Never mind. So if we get it done now, then we know what’s up. And, more importantly, we don’t have to do it again later.” It was like putting off studying for a test. If failing the test meant getting jailed on trumped-up charges by a crime boss.

“…Fine,” Thorax said glumly. “But how would we even get into the shaft?”

“Isn’t there a ceiling hatch we can open from the inside of the car?” asked the Doctor.

“Well, yes, but no,” said Sunburst. “That hatch, it, it’s locked from the outside for, you know, maintenance crews and rescue services. You, you’ll need to pry open the doors on the, the outside of the elevator, in the halls.”

Everyone stared at Sunburst.

He turned bright red, looked down, and mumbled, “I… did some… stupid things as a teen.”

Once her thoughts were back in order, Bon Bon said, “That might work, as long as there are no cameras in the halls. Let me check.” One quick glance, and- “No good. There are cameras at every corner and watching the elevators.” Unfortunate, but incredibly expected. At least nopony had done anything attention-grabbing in the halls yet. “A bunch of ponies prying open the doors would look suspicious. We’ll need to find another way into ”

“Vents,” said the Doctor absently. Noticing the looks on everyone else, he clarified, “Through the ventilation.” He pointed at a small vent on their very landing. “It always happens in these sorts of tales! It’s what Derpy would suggest, anyway.”

“That’s not, it’s not a bad idea,” said Sunburst. He investigated the vent more thoroughly and used magic to jiggle the screws that seemed to be all that was holding the cover on. “I mean, opening and closing vents is, that’s no problem with magic.”

“Yeah, but they’re not big enough for a pony to fit through,” said Bon Bon, “so we’ll-”

Thorax coughed. “Um.”

“Duh,” Bon Bon said, clapping herself on the head. “You’d do that? What if you get stuck?”

“It’s,” Thorax said, “I mean-” Poof, and he was a rather large rat, still wearing his telepathy anklet, now rat-sized. “How can I get stuck when I’m this big?”

“Wow.” Bon Bon leaned down. Somehow, she could still make out something of Thorax in the rat’s eyes, assuming she wasn’t just imagining things. “I didn’t know changelings could get that small.”

“I could go smaller if I was better at shifting,” said Thorax. “This is the best I can do.”

“It’s way more than enough.”

Sunburst’s magic worked wonders on the screws securing the vent covers and Thorax scurried in. Pointing out directions, Bon Bon said, “Go several yards that way, then take a left and head that way until you hit the shaft. I think.”

“I’m bad at being a changeling, not with direction,” squeaked Thorax, sounding a touch peeved. “I can find my way to the elevators.” He scurried away. The scratch of his little mouse claws on the metal ductwork made Bon Bon’s coat crawl; she’d spent a winter in a rodent-infested house, and that was not fun.

Sunburst sealed the vent back up and they waited. Thorax didn’t respond. The Doctor passed the anklet off to Bon Bon. (“You’d probably put it to better use than I can.”) Thorax didn’t respond. They waited some more. Thorax didn’t respond.

“You don’t suppose he got lost, did he?” the Doctor said. His ears were back and he was tapping his hooves together. “It’s not like there are maps in there, and all the, ah, ‘hallways’ look the same.”

“It, it can’t be that hard,” said Sunburst. “Wouldn’t ducting be designed to be efficient? Not much intersections, straight lines-”

“Perhaps, but still.” The Doctor sighed. “I never thought I’d be worried about a changeling.”

“He’s reforming!” Sunburst said defensively. “You know, like Discord? The guy who betrayed the whole country a while back and Twilight still trusts? The guards never saw him even try anything! And Flurry Heart likes him! Honestly, the only reason he isn’t one of the nicest ponies I know is because he isn’t a pony!”

“I know, but…” The Doctor shrugged. “It’s a hard feeling to shake.”

Bon Bon knew Thorax wasn’t the greatest infiltrator, but he was still genuinely trying. That was more than could be said for an awful lot of changelings. That was more than could be said for an awful lot of ponies. And outside of the heist, from what little she’d seen of him, he was so… endearingly awkward. Like a not-genius Twilight. Thorax wasn’t a pony, but he was good people. “I think he’s doing fine,” said Bon Bon. “I trust him.”

She jumped as Thorax’s voice drifted through her mind. “You’re wearing the anklet, Bon Bon,” he said, slight annoyance in his voice, “so you know I can hear you, right?

“Sorry,” Bon Bon said quickly. “We were just worried about you.” To the Doctor and Sunburst, she mouthed, He’s still going.

Well, I’m fine. Nothing bad yet. It’s kinda cozy.

“Cozy?” asked Bon Bon incredulously.

There were tunnels in the hive that I crawled through when I was a nymph — and, um, sometimes when I wasn’t — and these remind me of those. If those tunnels were cold, metallic, dusty, and windy. At least these don’t change.

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘change’?”

Oh, hang on. I think… Yeah, I’m at the shaft. Nothing stopping me from getting in. Wow, this is tall…

“We’ll call an elevator. Get on top of the one that’s stopping at the… third floor, then keep quiet.”

Sure.

Bon Bon, the Doctor, and Sunburst went to the elevator bank and waited. “Is this, um, isn’t this a little, I don’t know, impulsive?” asked Sunburst. “We see that there’s magic in the elevators and suddenly we’re going elevator surfing to find out what magic and-”

“We’ve got to do it at some point,” said Bon Bon. “We’ve got less than two weeks to figure out what it is, so why not now?”

“It’s, I don’t know.” Sunburst pushed his glasses up his muzzle. “It feels like, we could just-”

Ding. One set of elevator doors opened. “Feel free to stay out here if you want,” said Bon Bon. She entered the elevator car, the Doctor close behind, Sunburst not-so-close behind. As the doors closed, Thorax said, “One of the elevators just stopped at the third floor. Is that you?

“Is it the one on the right if you’re entering it?”

Um… Yeah, that’s the one,” said Thorax. “Give me a second. Here’s the panel… Here’s the latch… And-” The ceiling rattled and a panel swung upwards. A pegasus that could only be Thorax stuck his head in and grinned. “I did it!” He swung a hoof down. “So who’s coming up?”

Sunburst opted to stay inside, letting Bon Bon and the Doctor climb on up. Light bulbs were set into the walls, dim, but at least bright enough to see by. It was cramped in the shaft, thanks to the small size of the car, so Thorax quickly climbed back down. Bon Bon shut the hatch behind him and swung herself onto the maintenance ladder. Turning to the Doctor, she asked, “You got the arcanoscope transmitter?”

But the Doctor was paying her no attention, instead staring up the shaft. “I… don’t think that’ll be necessary.” He pointed.

Bon Bon followed his hoof, and- “Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” she said.

Several stories up, the shaft was crisscrossed with laser beams, covering every possible way one could get through that particular area. In the darkness of the shaft, they glowed red and ominous. The fact that the beams were visible wasn’t any help to any burglars (or heisters): they were packed so closely together even a fly would have trouble slipping through without tripping at least one. It was a miracle the cables managed to slip through.

“A laser grid,” said Bon Bon flatly. “All the cliches they could’ve used, and they went with a freaking laser grid. That is so last decade.” Even if it was a little better laid-out than the ones she’d usually encountered as Sweetie Drops.

“What do you mean by that?” asked the Doctor.

“Nothing. I’m getting a closer look. Could I see the transmitter?”

As Bon Bon climbed the ladder, the transmitter in her mouth, she examined the layout of the shaft more closely. Three elevators, side-by-side for the public, and one extra one behind them. The vault shaft was cut off from the main one with metal grating, but nothing more. Cut through the grating, and you were into the vault shaft. Of course, the grating was thick enough to render that difficult, but it was a start.

Bon Bon stopped just below the lasers. Yes, they were packed impressively tightly together. She couldn’t even get her hoof past the first row; there just wasn’t enough space. She craned her neck to see that, yes, the lasers were on both sides of the grating, passing through the holes with barely a millimeter to spare. She squinted at the walls; no obvious “off” switch, but then, she wasn’t expecting one. Heck, she wasn’t expecting a non-obvious one. If they were unlucky, it wasn’t even controlled from security hub.

The Doctor’s hooves clicked on the ladder beneath her. “Ah, sorry,” he said, “but I was hoping-”

“Hang on.” Bon Bon placed her rear hooves on a girder, hooked her front hooves around a higher one, and shimmied over to give him some space. “That better?” For keeping her mouth tight around the transmitter, she was quite articulate.

“Very.” The Doctor climbed up to her level and frowned at the lasers. “Certainly a cliche. But how do the elevators get through?”

“I bet the beams turn off at the right time. Maybe they’re automated.”

“Most likely.” The Doctor looked at the lasers again, then looked down the shaft. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll be heading down. Tall places and I don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.”

“Go ahead.” Bon Bon didn’t look away from the lasers.

“Thank you.” And the Doctor was clambering back down like a monkey.

Lasers. Fricking lasers. If there was a good reason for using them, Bon Bon couldn’t think of it at the moment. She glared up at the beams, like she could learn something from a visual analysis; the beams hummed back, as if they were pleased by the stymieing of her visual analysis. Another job for the arcanoscope. Stupid reliance on gadgets. That was the problem with magic: it gradually became your solution to everything, but not everyone could use it as easily as unicorns without help. She glanced across to the sectioned-off portion of the shaft; whatever door there was, she couldn’t see it beyond the lasers. Bon Bon sighed and climbed down.

When Bon Bon opened the elevator hatch, Sunburst and Thorax were in deep, whispered, worried-sounding discussion and the Doctor was standing in a corner, doing his best to not look at them. They all looked up when they heard Bon Bon. “Those are not happy sounds,” she said. She jumped into the elevator, pulling the hatch shut behind her. “Why am I not hearing happy sounds?”

“Well, ah,” said Sunburst, “you, you know how you said there were cameras in the hallways?” He exchanged glances with Thorax and took a deep breath. “Yesterday, Thorax forgot to check when, when he was tracking down those, um, coins, so he… kinda shapeshifted in full view of them.”

It wasn’t every day Bon Bon felt the bottom of her stomach fall out. It was like she’d just been slapped in the face. Dread coursed through her; if they lost their changeling, half the plans she was making were dead in the water. “What?” she gasped.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Thorax. “I-”

“No, wait, not here.” Bon Bon punched the button for the top floor. “We need some real privacy. Let’s go to your room.”

“Lyra’s room, actually,” said Sunburst.

“Whatever.” Bon Bon stared at the floor indicator, willing it to go faster. Sadly, since she wasn’t a unicorn, that wasn’t an option. 3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

“Sorry,” mumbled Thorax.

“Save it.”

8.

9.

Bon Bon was already ready to chew her own tail off.


Rainbow Dash wasn’t bored, per se, but- Actually, yeah. She was. She so was. Band rehearsals sounded so stupid. Oh, sure, some of the time, they’d play together nicely, but just as often, the conductor would talk to this one set of instruments or that and try to coax something out of them. Rainbow didn’t know much about musical theory (or even that musical theory existed), so she didn’t know what that “something” was called, so she couldn’t even think about the song itself. Most of what she could do amounted to skulking in a corner of the rehearsal room and listening.

But she had her sheet music and could read it well enough to know where they were when the band was actually playing the whole thing. At least it was a good song, very upbeat and triumphant. The point at which Goumada had scheduled the rainboom was nearly perfect, at the very peak of a crescendo.

So when would be the best time to actually start flying? That was always tricky, depending on how good or bad her day was going. But once she knew how good or bad her day was going, her acceleration was easy to predict. She set up a range of notes to start from, going from “least awesome” to “most awesome”. She suspected she’d be closer to the right, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

The band stopped playing and the conductor focused on the trumpets. Trumpets were cool but a full band was cooler. Rainbow groaned and gnawed on her tail.


Having the space to pace in Lyra’s suite did miracles to cool Bon Bon’s nerves. The situation still wasn’t great, but it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared. She was barely listening to Thorax as his explanation came out in a barely-controlled torrent.

“So I came out of the elevator on the sixth floor,” he babbled as he sat on the bed, “and then I went around the floor, and then I gave myself an octopus limb to probe under the door, and then I turned into another pony so I wouldn’t be recognized in poker, and nopony saw me up here, but I forgot to check for cameras and I’m sorryyyyyyyyy.” He cringed and looked down. Bon Bon suspected he wanted nothing better than to hide beneath the covers.

Sunburst reached over and awkwardly patted Thorax’s shoulder. “It’s, um, I’m sure it’s not… that bad,” he said, sounding as confident as an earth pony at Wonderbolts tryouts. “I bet they just- forgot about it! Yyyyyyeah.” His grin looked more like a grimace.

Bon Bon kept pacing. Sunburst might’ve been closer than he realized. “You said this happened before noon, right?” she asked Thorax.

“Um. Yes?” asked Thorax. His fins twitched. “Why?”

“I don’t think they noticed you in the first place.” Bon Bon took a deep breath and let it out again. “Look, we haven’t heard a thing about changelings running amok around the casino, right? Nopony ran up yesterday to try to catch you. And nopony was tested that much when Sunburst and I went in. So, I-” She ran a hoof through her mane. “I think you managed to get lucky and nopony saw you shift.”

“Really?” squeaked Thorax hopefully.

“Think about it.” Bon Bon gestured around the room. “You’re a security guard looking over dozens of cameras. You pay the most attention to the ones in the casino, because that’s where the action is. You see a flash of light on one of the hotel cameras, but when you look, there’s just a pony. So you go back to the casino and never imagine that the light you saw was a changing changeling.” It was a division of attention that’d saved her haycon too many times. (Just once, but that was still too many.) Watchers weren’t infallible, but it wasn’t a bad strategy to treat them like they were. “And a changeling’s the sort of threat that ponies need to be on the lookout for.”

“I know I’d sound the alarm ASAP if I saw a changeling,” said the Doctor. He twitched and his voice sped up. “Um. Besides you, of course, no offense.”

“None taken,” said Thorax.

“But listen,” said Bon Bon, her voice growing hard. She lightly jabbed Thorax in the chest. “If this is true, you got very, very lucky. You can’t just assume that they’re not watching now because they weren’t watching then.”

Thorax nodded vigorously. “Don’t worry, I won’t forget.” And Bon Bon was sure he wouldn’t, not after this. The burned hoof teaches best.

“Try changing in a bathroom stall or the stairwell next time,” Bon Bon suggested. “Oh, if you do it in a bathroom, remember to stay the same gender. The last thing we need is a stallion walking out of the mare’s room.”

“Right.”

“Good.”

There was a brief silence, then the Doctor added, “So, ah, Sunburst, did you see the readout on the detection spell they’re using? Bon Bon and I, we saw it. Actually, physically saw it, by the way, it’s-”

Sunburst sharply sucked in some air. “It’s visible? Hoo, boy.” Then he coughed. “Um. Sorry. Continue.”

The dread that’d been banished after Bon Bon had reasoned that Thorax probably hadn’t been seen was creeping back in. Anything that made their magic expert act like that was Bad News. What sort of Bad News, however, still needed to be seen.

The Doctor kept talking. “It’s a… You know those laser grids that always appear in books? Visible for some reason and wide enough to be climbed around? Kind of like that, except not wide enough to be climbed around.”

“Ah.” Sunburst squirmed a little, like he knew he had to say something but really didn’t want to.

“So,” said Bon Bon, “how bad is it?”

“Well, if, if the magic’s visible like that,” said Sunburst, “then it, it’s very potent and very sensitive. We couldn’t trick those spells at all. They’d detect whatever magic we were trying to use to circumvent them and go off.”

“I don’t suppose,” suggested the Doctor, “that Starlight could turn us invisible, and-”

“Wouldn’t work,” Sunburst said. “It’s, it’s the sort of spell that detects life, regardless of if it’s, it’s visible or not. The fact that it is visible is, is just due to the magic being…” He began mashing something together with his hooves. “…so ridiculously concentrated that the spillover is, it’s energizing the air and making it glow. It’s probably in lasers rather than blanketing a region to, in order to save on power.”

“The elevators get through,” said Bon Bon. “Could the elevators themselves be enchanted or would the spells need to be turned off?”

“Ehm…” Sunburst scratched his head. “It’s, I mean, you could enchant the elevators to have their contents be ignored, but, but that’s a lot of work. Like, years-to-set-up a lot. And you two-” He pointed at Thorax and the Doctor. “-didn’t see anything in the arcanoscope for the elevators, right?”

“No,” said Thorax.

“As in, ‘we didn’t see anything’,” the Doctor added.

Bon Bon resumed her pacing. “So, to recap: a spell in the shafts that detects life, probably turns off when elevators pass by it. Hmm.” No bright ideas jumped out at her, but she hadn’t expected them to. If they came that quickly, this system would’ve been defeated years ago. “And do you think we’ll need to smuggle an arcanoscope into the vault?”

Thorax tensed up, but Sunburst laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. The only magic protecting the vault is, it’s wind magic. Somehow. There isn’t even any magic in the door. We don’t need anything more.” (Thorax wilted in relief.)

“Good. We’ve done all we can here, let’s get back to the villa. By the elevator.”

Close examination of the arcanoscope as the elevator descended revealed that, yes, the detection spells were switched off as the car passed through them. Pieces were slowly coming together. The time for surveying was reaching an end. Now, they needed to actually plan.

Too bad planning was always the hard part, second only to the execution itself. But Bon Bon was willing to take her victories where she could get them.