• Published 1st Sep 2019
  • 1,732 Views, 231 Comments

No Longer Living In A Van Down By The River - Peni Parker



Since The Dazzlings agreed to be motivational speakers at CHS they're no longer living in a van down by the river, but the job may make them wish they still were.

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Adagio and Moondancer

“I just can’t believe that jerk!” Raven Inkwell angrily sobbed from behind her desk as tears flowed down her cheek.

“Uh-huh.” Adagio Dazzle perfunctorily replied as she leaned on the side of Raven’s desk, scrolling through her phone.

Adagio was currently in the front office of CHS waiting to see Principal Celestia after being summoned to by her over the PA system. When she’d first arrived there she noticed Raven sitting at her desk quietly weeping and, not wanting to be an insensitive jerk, asked her if she was alright. Raven then proceeded to tell a long and detailed story about how her boyfriend of the last six months broke up with her the previous night after admitting he’d been cheating on her for the last three months.

At first Adagio tried to seem be supportive and comforting to Raven, but as it became apparent that the distraught girl was just rambling to herself she stopped caring.

“I gave him six good months of my life and what does he do?! He leaves me for some floozy with a bigger chest who probably couldn’t locate Vanhoover on a map!” Raven continued angrily sobbing, pulling a tissue out of a nearby tissue box and blowing her nose. “I mean, what is it with guys and chest size anyways? There’s more to a girl than how big her bosom is!”

“Amen to that, sister.” Adagio agreed as she looked down at her own chest, which, like Raven’s, was a tad less than ample.

“You know what?! I’m done with guys!” Raven declared as she suddenly stood up from her seat, causing Adagio to cease leaning on the desk. “From now on I’m only dating girls!”

“O…kay?” Adagio confusingly stated as she put her phone away and started to wonder if she should be worried about Raven’s current mental state, unaware that she was bi.

“Adagio!” Raven very grandiosely, but also sternly, said as she faced the confused Dazzling. “Will you be my girlfriend?!”

At this point, Adagio was 100% convinced that Raven had completely gone off the rails of the crazy train.

“I don’t think so.” She very clearly replied. “I don’t swing that way.”

“Don’t be silly!” Raven histrionically responded as she clasped Adagio’s right hand, holding it up to her chest as she stared at the poofy-haired girl with stars in her eyes. “You’ll never be able to find happiness with a guy. Don’t you see? Love between girls is the only true love there is!”

Oh god, she’s gone full yuri fangirl. Adagio nervously thought to herself, having seen enough yuri fangirls at the anime conventions Sonata dragged her to to know this was a bad turn of events.

Just then, the door to Celestia’s office opened.

“Raven, is Adagio…” Celestia began to say before stopping once she noticed the scene unfolding in front of her. “Um, is everything alright?”

“Everything is more than alright, Principal Celestia!” Raven gleefully, and somewhat eerily, answered. “Adagio is going to be my new girlfriend and we’re going to live happily ever after!”

Feeling more confused than she already had been, Celestia turned her attention to Adagio. She became a bit concerned when she noticed the Dazzling had a distressed look on her face and was silently mouthing the words ‘help me’.

“That’s, um, nice, Raven.” She calmly said. “But I need to see Adagio.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” Raven promptly replied in a more professional manner as she let go of Adagio’s hand. “Adagio, Principal Celestia will see you now.”

“Thanks, Raven.” Adagio deadpanned as she made her way into Celestia’s office, silently mouthing the words ‘thank you’ as she passed the principal.

Once Adagio was inside her office, Celestia closed the door.

“My apologies for Raven’s behavior.” She said as she made her way over to her desk. “She tends to get very…passionate…when it comes to her love life.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Adagio sarcastically remarked as she approached Celestia’s desk, just then noticing that there was a girl sitting in the chair in front of said desk.

At first Adagio thought the girl was Twilight Sparkle based on her hairstyle and glasses, but quickly realized it wasn’t Twilight. This girl wore a baggy sweater, had amaranth colored hair with some purple and grayish violet highlight, and an expression on her face so meek that would make Fluttershy look like the most confident person in the world by comparison.

“Adagio, this is Moondancer.” Celestia introduced the girl as she took a seat. “She just transferred to CHS from Crystal Prep Academy and I was hoping you could show her around the school.”

“N-nice to meet you.” Moondancer timidly said as she looked up at Adagio, who in response just raised an eyebrow and returned her attention to Celestia.

“Doesn’t Sunset usually give the tours?” She curiously asked the principal, remembering how Sunset had been the one who showed her and her sisters around the school on their first day at CHS.

“Normally yes, but I’m afraid she’s preoccupied with another task at the moment.” Celestia answered.

“I see.” Adagio softly remarked, curious as to what this other task was that Sunset was preoccupied with.

“I know this is an unusual request for you, but you’re the only one available to assist Moondancer.” Celestia explained.

Adagio looked back down at Moondancer, who quickly looked down at the floor to avoid eye contact. As much as she didn’t want to walk around the school showing this girl where everything was, she couldn’t think of a good reason to refuse Celestia’s request.

“Very well then.” She capitulated as she placed a hand on Moondancer’s shoulder, causing her to slightly wince. “Come along, Moondancer.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Moondancer looked up from the floor and stared at Celestia with a concerned expression. Celestia, in response, simply nodded her head.

“O-okay.” Moondancer complied as she got out of her seat and followed Adagio out into the front office.

“See you later, sweetheart!” Raven called out to Adagio as she and Moondancer walked past her.

All Adagio could do was give the hardest facepalm of her life as she continued walking out into the hallway. All Moondancer could do was give a confused, but curious, look.


“And this is Mr. Doodle’s classroom, he teaches math.” Adagio pointed out as she and Moondancer wandered the second floor hallway. “He’s a bit of a grouch but a good teacher.”

“Oh.” Moondancer tepidly stated as she followed behind Adagio.

The two girls had been walking around CHS for about 15 minutes now. Adagio did her best to be as helpful and informative as she could, but every time she said something Moondancer simply responded with a mild ‘Oh’, almost as if she were completely indifferent to everything.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” The Dazzling asked as she abruptly stopped walking and turned around to face Moondancer.

“W-what do you mean?” Moondancer nervously replied, feeling slightly startled by Adagio’s actions.

“I mean that ever since we started this tour all you’ve said is ‘Oh’.” Adagio explained. “It’s obvious that you’re not interested in this, so why is that?”

“N-no, it’s not that I’m not interested in the tour, honest.” Moondancer frantically stated. “It’s just…I’ve been wanting to ask you something ever since we left the principal’s office.”

“And what’s that?” Adagio inquired, trying to sound stern but not inimical.

Moondancer didn’t answer right away. She just stared down at her feet as she tried to summon the courage to ask Adagio her question.

“When did you realize you…liked girls?” She faintly asked.

“What was that?” Adagio asked, having not heard Moondancer clearly.

“When did you realize you liked girls?” Moondancer just as faintly reiterated.

At this point, Adagio was about fed up with Moondancer’s demure personality.

“For heaven’s sake, speak up!” She practically barked.

Almost instinctively, Moondancer brought her head up and took a quick, deep breath before asking her question for a third time.

“WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU LIKED GIRLS?!” She shouted.

Adagio was instantly taken aback, but she wasn’t sure it was because of Moondancer’s question itself or the fact that the girl just asked it so loud that the whole school probably heard her.

“Um, I don’t like girls.” She clarified, still feeling flabbergasted.

“B-but what about that girl in the office?” Moondancer confusingly asked. “She called you sweetheart. Isn’t she you’re girlfriend?”

For the second time today, Adagio felt the need to facepalm.

“Raven isn’t my girlfriend.” She plainly said as she put her hand down. “She’s just crazy.”

“Huh?” Moondancer asked, feeling even more confused now.

Sensing Moondancer’s confusion and distress, Adagio placed a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder. Much like before though, this action caused Moondancer to slightly wince.

“It’s complicated.” The poofy-haired girl lamented, keeping her hand on Moondancer’s shoulder. “Why don’t we head over to my office and I’ll tell you about it on the way?”

As uncomfortable as Moondancer felt around Adagio in that moment, she really did want to hear the story of what had happened with Raven.

“Okay.” She agreed as Adagio removed her hand from her shoulder and the two of them proceeded down the hall.


“So yeah, that’s why Raven called me sweetheart.” Adagio said as she took a seat behind the desk in her office.

Neither the trip to Adagio’s office nor the story of why Raven had called the Dazzling sweetheart were very long and, coincidentally enough, both had concluded at about the same time.

“Wow, you were right; she is crazy.” Moondancer responded as she took a seat just in front of Adagio’s desk.

“You want to know what the truly sad thing is?” Adagio rhetorically asked as she opened one of her desk drawers. “She’s not any crazier than most of the other students at this school.”

“Seriously?” Moondancer curiously asked as she watched Adagio pull a bottle of whiskey out of her desk.

“Seriously.” Adagio confirmed as she opened the bottle and took a swig from it. “Ah, I needed that.”

Moondancer couldn’t believe what she’d just witnessed. Had a school employee just consumed alcohol in front of her, and so nonchalantly at that?

“Um, should you be drinking on school grounds like that?” She timidly spoke aloud.

Adagio closed the whiskey bottle and placed it back in her desk before answering.

“Believe it or not, there’s actually no rule against faculty and staff consuming alcohol on school grounds so long as they don’t over-do it.” She explained, just before coming to a startling realization. “But I’m not sure if there’s a rule about consuming it in front of students or not.”

Moondancer was about to say that she wouldn’t tell anyone what she’d witnessed, but before she could Adagio leaned over her desk with her hands folded outwards.

“Please don’t tell anyone that I drank in front of you, my sisters and I can’t afford to lose this job!” The Dazzling pleaded.

“I-I won’t, I promise.” Moondancer assured her. “Wait, what did you mean when you said, ‘my sisters and I can’t afford to lose this job’? Do your sisters work her too?”

That’s…also complicated.” Adagio said as she ceased leaning across her desk.

Adagio then told Moondancer the story of how she and her sisters had been living in a van down by the river until they got jobs as motivational speakers at CHS, and how they shared the job between the three of them.

“That’s a…very interesting story.” Moondancer politely commented once Adagio was done.

“I suppose.” Adagio replied.

There was an awkward silence for about a minute, as neither girl could think of anything to say.

“So why did you transfer here from Crystal Prep?” Adagio eventually spoke up, desperate to break the silence.

At first Moondancer didn’t answer. She simply tilted her head down and dawned an expression of anxiety on her face, contemplating whether or not she should say anything.

“I…left Crystal Prep for a number of reasons.” She began to say as she struggled to keep her composure. “I was bullied pretty badly at CPA, for starters, but my grades started to slip there as well. Those are the reasons my parents allowed me to transfer here.”

“And?” Adagio inquired.

“And what?” Moondancer asked as she brought her head up, confused by Adagio’s question.

“And what other reason?” Adagio clarified. “Those two reasons might have been what convinced your parents to allow you to transfer out of CPA, but I can tell there’s another reason that you’re not telling me.”

Moondancer didn’t say a word as she tilted her head down again. Adagio, in response, just gave a small sigh, figuring she needed to take a new approach to try and get Moondancer to open up.

“Look, I don’t want you to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing, Moondancer.” She gently said. “But just know that I genuinely do want to help you with whatever it is your going through that’s causing you so much distress. If you don’t feel you can trust me that’s fine, but if that is the case I want you promise me you’ll talk to someone you do trust about whatever this is.”

Moondancer still didn’t say anything. In fact, it almost seemed like she hadn’t even heard a word Adagio had just said. That is, until Adagio noticed tears starting to flow down Moondancer’s cheeks.

“I…I think I…like girls.” Moondancer very softly sobbed, keeping her head down.

“So that’s why you asked me about when I realized I liked girls earlier.” Adagio commented as she began to understand.

“Back at Crystal Prep, I had a friend named Twilight Sparkle.” Moondancer emotionally started to explain.

Of course this involves one of the Rainbooms. Adagio silently thought to herself.

“Twilight and I had been friends since we were little.” Moondancer went on. “But shortly before the Friendship Games I started seeing her…differently. I wanted to talk to her about it, but she transferred here before I got the chance. That’s why I really wanted to transfer to CHS. You were right, the bullying and slipping grades were just excuses I used to convince my parents to allow it.”

“Why did you need to transfer here to talk to Twilight? Didn’t you two keep in touch after she left Crystal Prep?” Adagio asked.

All Moondancer could do was shake her head ‘no’ in response, feeling too choked up to answer verbally.

“I see.” Adagio softly remarked. “So by ‘seeing her differently’, do you mean romantically?”

“I don’t know.” Moondancer managed to faintly say. “I just don’t know. And I’m so afraid of finding out.”

By now Moondancer had almost completely lost all her composure. She felt like she was going to have a full breakdown right there and then in Adagio’s office. She brought her hands up to her face in an attempt to hide her growing distress. That is, until Adagio lowered them and wrapped them in her own hands.

“I’m not going to pretend to know what it is you’re feeling, Moondancer.” The poofy-haired Dazzling compassionately said as she kneeled down in front of Moondancer. “So if I may ask, why are you afraid of finding out if you have feelings for Twilight or not?”

Moondancer stared at Adagio through tear-stained eyes. Part of her didn’t want to talk about her feelings for Twilight anymore, but a larger part of her knew that she needed to.

“I’m afraid for lot of reasons.” She admitted as she turned her head to side to avoid eye contact with Adagio. “I’m afraid that if I do feelings for Twilight and share them with her that she’ll reject me and not want to be my friend anymore.”

Once again, there was an awkward silence for about a minute between the two girls.

“Do you trust me, Moondancer?” Adagio eventually spoke up.

“What?” Moondancer replied as she turned head back to face Adagio.

“Do you trust me?” Adagio serenely reiterated.

Moondancer took a second to consider Adagio’s question.

“I…suppose so.” She hesitantly answered, feeling that after everything she’d just revealed to Adagio that she could trust her.

“Okay.” Adagio solemnly said as she let go of Moondancer’s hands, stood up, and walked back around her desk.

Once Adagio retook her seat, she picked up the office phone on her desk and began pushing buttons on the keypad, much to Moondancer’s confusion.

“Twilight Sparkle, please report to room 126.” She said into the phone, which echoed over the school’s PA system. “Twilight Sparkle, please report to room 126.”

“W-w-what are you doing?!” Moondancer panically asked as she jumped up from her seat. “Why are you bringing Twilight here?!”

“Because you need to talk to her about your feelings.” Adagio very sternly, but gently, replied as she put the phone down.

“No, no, no, no, no!” Moondancer frantically began rambling, placing both her hands on her head. “I can’t tell Twilight how I feel now! She’ll be disgusted by me, she’ll never want to speak to me again!”

“Moondancer!” Adagio shouted as she got up and made her way over to the distraught girl, placing both arms on her shoulders to try and calm her down. “Listen to me, you need to calm down!”

Moondancer did as instructed and tried to calm down. She took few deep breaths and brought both of her hands down to her sides.

“Twilight won’t do any of those things.” Adagio assured her once she was calmer. “You said you’ve been friends since you were little, do you honestly think she’d do anything to hurt you?”

“I…I don’t think so.” Moondancer admitted through slightly labored breathing.

“Okay then.” Adagio said as she removed her hands from Moondancer’s shoulders. “Look, Moondancer, this is the best piece of advice I can give you; You can’t go through life denying a part of who you are. I know you’re confused right now, but talking with Twilight will help you figure things out. Regardless of what she says, you’ll be one step closer to finding out if you like girls or not. And if it turns out you do, don’t lie to yourself and say you don’t.”

Just then, a knock was heard on the door, gaining both Adagio and Moondancer’s attention.

“Who is it?” Adagio called out.

“Um, Twilight Sparkle.” A voice answered from the other side of the door. “You called me here?”

Adagio returned her attention to Moondancer and silently gave her a look at said, Are you ready for this?

Moondancer, picking up on Adagio’s silent question, gave a small nod as she steeled herself for whatever was about to come next.

“Come in.” Adagio called out to Twilight.

The door slowly opened and, sure enough, Twilight Sparkle entered the room.

“What’s this all abou…” Twilight started to ask before noticing Moondancer in the room. “Moondancer?”

“H-hey, Twi.” Moondancer meekly greeted her old friend with a wave.

“Oh my gosh!” Twilight elated as she ran over and gave Moondancer a big hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Y-you too.” Moondancer replied as she returned the hug.

The two girls silently hugged for a good ten seconds, making Adagio feel like a very awkward third wheel.

“What are you doing here?” Twilight inquired as she broke the hug.

“I actually just transferred to CHS.” Moondancer answered, which led to Twilight giving her another hug.

“That’s great!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Y-yeah.” Moondancer said as she returned this hug as well.

“Ahem.” Adagio intervened.

Moondancer and Twilight broke their hug as they turned their attention to Adagio, who in turn raised a single eyebrow at Moondancer.

“Oh, right.” Moondancer remarked as she turned back to face Twilight. “Twilight, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Um, okay?” Twilight curiously replied.

“I’ll give you two some privacy.” Adagio said as she made her way towards the door.

“Twilight, for a while now I’ve…” Was all she heard before she closed the door behind her.


Adagio stood in the hallway outside her office for about twenty minutes while she left Moondancer and Twilight talk. She couldn’t help but wonder how everything was going, and what was taking them so long.

“I really hope they’re not having sex on my desk.” She commented to herself as the thought crossed her mind that perhaps things were going so well that the two girls were now getting intimate with one another.

About a minute later, the door opened and Twilight stepped out into the hallway, alone.

“Well?” Adagio asked.

Twilight just stared at Adagio for a second with a somewhat despondent face before saying anything.

“It’s probably best if you talk to Moondancer.” She said before walking down the hallway.

Oh no. Adagio thought as she quickly ran into her office, finding Moondancer slouched over in the chair in front of her desk.

“Moondancer?” She gently stated as she made her way closer to the girl.

“We had a long talk.” Moondancer replied, rather unemotionally. “I told Twilight my feelings and she said she was happy that I shared them with her, but she doesn’t like me the way I like her.”

“Oh.” Adagio dejectedly remarked.

“She said she still wants to be friends though.” Moondancer continued. “And when I asked her not to tell anyone that I might be into girls she promised she wouldn’t.”

“Well that’s good at least.” Adagio said as she knelt down to comfort Moondancer.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Moondancer indifferently replied. “But I’m still confused. I don’t know if I like girls in general or if I was just crushing on Twilight.”

As Adagio stared at Moondancer she noticed tears starting to form in the corners of the girls eyes.

“Moondancer, even if Twilight had said that she liked you the same way you like her, you still might not have been 100% sure about how you feel.” She tried comforting her as she placed a supportive hand over hers. “Some people stay in relationships for years before they find out how they really feel. These kinds of feelings, they’re complicated, and it takes time to truly understand them.”

Moondancer looked up just enough to make eye contact with Adagio.

“You know something? You’re right, Adagio.” She admitted as a small smile crossed her face.

“I usually am.” Adagio humbly jested just before Moondancer drew her into an unexpected hug.

“Thank you, Adagio. Thank you for everything today.” Moondancer graciously said as the tears in the corners of her eyes started flowing.

“Okay, okay. No need to get so dramatic.” Adagio playfully replied as she returned the hug. “Glad I could help.”

The hug didn’t last very long because soon enough the bell for lunch period rang, and once it didn’t both girls realized they were pretty hungry.

“Why don’t we have lunch together.” Adagio suggested as she stood up. “I’ll help you learn which foods to avoid in the cafeteria.”

“I’d like that.” Moondancer said as she too stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“It’s a date.” Adagio commented as they headed out the door.


“End of the day, finally.” Adagio said to herself as the 3:00 dismissal bell rang, causing her to gather her things to leave.

Given the rather eventful day she’d had, Adagio was looking forward to going home, but not without Moondancer. During their lunch together, Adagio had mentioned to Moondancer how her sister, Sonata, was into girls and told her that she would probably be okay talking with her about her experiences with dating Rainbow Dash. Moondancer had decided that would be a good idea and so Adagio had invited her over to Sunset’s apartment after school to meet Sonata.

“Now did we agree to meet in the foyer or by the statue?” The Dazzling asked herself just as she locked her office door, trying to jog her memory.

“Adagio, sweetheart!” A female voice called out from down the hall.

Adagio quickly turned towards the direction of the voice to see Raven Inkwell rushing towards her.

“This again?” She deadpanned right before Raven practically tackled her with a hug.

“Oh I missed you so much today!” Raven said as she began to squeeze the life out of Adagio. “How about we get some dinner together and go see a movie?”

“Raven…air.” Adagio replied, trying to communicate that she couldn’t breathe.

“Oopsie, sorry!” Raven apologized as she let go of Adagio. “Sometimes I don’t know the strength of my own love.”

“Yeah…love.” Adagio sarcastically remarked as she regained her ability to breath, thinking that the word ‘crazy’ was more fitting.

“So about that dinner and movie?” Raven asked.

“I already told you, I don’t swing that way.” Adagio sharply reminded Raven. “And besides, I already have plans tonight. I taking Moondancer to meet my sister and…”

Then Adagio got an idea. An AWFUL idea. Adagio Dazzle got a wonderful, AWFUL idea.

“Say, Raven.” She slyly started to say. “Since we’re going to be dating, you should really get to know my sisters better. How about this weekend you come over to our apartment and all three of you can spend some quality time together?”

“Sounds great!” Raven agreed. “So long as you’ll be there too.”

“Oh of course I’ll be there too.” Adagio assured her.

“Okay, this weekend it is then!” Raven happily said as she ran down the hall. “See you later, sweetheart!”

“Goodbye, Raven dear.” Adagio said as she waved goodbye.

Once Raven was no longer in sight, Adagio dawned a wicked smile.

“I can’t wait for this weekend.” She malevolently remarked.

Author's Note:

I can't even begin to tell you how many rewrites this chapter went through. So. Many. Rewrites!

If you have a suggestion for a future chapter let me know in the comments.

The next chapter will feature Sonata and Sugarcoat.