• Published 1st Sep 2019
  • 1,731 Views, 231 Comments

No Longer Living In A Van Down By The River - Peni Parker



Since The Dazzlings agreed to be motivational speakers at CHS they're no longer living in a van down by the river, but the job may make them wish they still were.

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Adagio and Sunset Shimmer

“I’m just saying, there’s no way 1984 is going to be better than Asylum.” Adagio Dazzle commented as she and her sisters gathered around the couch, preparing to watch the first episode of the new season of one of their favorite shows.

“Oh come on,” Aria Blaze retorted as she sat down on the left end of the couch. “Haven’t you seen all the promos? This season’s going to be like Halloween meets Friday the 13th, it’s totally going to be better than Asylum.”

Adagio simply rolled her eyes in response as she took a seat on the right end of the couch.

“I still say Freak Show is the best season.” Sonata Dusk chimed in as she sat down in the middle of the couch with a large bowl of popcorn for the three of them to share.

“Only because you’re a freak.” Aria casually remarked as she reached over and took a handful of popcorn.

Sonata stuck her tongue out at Aria in retaliation.

“Hey guys, show started yet?” Sunset Shimmer asked as she walked into the room, looking like she was about to head out.

“Just about to.” Aria replied with a mouth full of popcorn.

It had been about six weeks since the Dazzlings had moved in with Sunset. After helping them get their jobs as motivational speakers at CHS, the former unicorn had invited them to stay with her so they’d have an actual home while they saved up enough money for a place of their own. Initially, it wasn’t what they considered an ideal situation, but since it was better than living in a van down by the river they agreed.

Truth be told, Aria and Sonata had actually come to like living with Sunset. Her apartment was really nice, it was only about a 40 minute walk from CHS, and Sunset herself was a surprisingly fun and cool person.

“Okay, well, I’m going to the movies with my friends.” She informed them just as the show was starting. “Don’t forget that the trash needs to go out tonight. Who’s turn is it for that?”

Without saying a word or taking their eyes off the TV, both Sonata and Aria pointed to Adagio, who in turn shot her sisters the strongest glare she could muster.

It was true though, it was Adagio’s turn to take out the trash as per the chore wheel Sunset had made up. The chore wheel was Sunset’s only condition for allowing the Dazzling to live with her. She insisted that they help out around the apartment and the chore wheel determined who was responsible for what on a given week. For the most part, it wasn’t that bad, at least to Aria and Sonata.

“I’ll take care of it after the show.” Adagio half-heartedly stated as she returned her attention to the TV.

Sunset wasn’t convinced that Adagio was going to do as she said. The last time it was Adagio’s turn to take out the trash she’d failed to do it and the apartment reeked of spoiled sushi for a week.

“You sure you’re going to remember, Adagio?” She rather irascibly asked.

Adagio quickly turned her head to face Sunset, giving her the same scathing glare she’d just given Aria and Sonata.

“Are you suggesting that I won’t remember?” She just as irascibly replied, clearly feeling slighted by Sunset’s question.

“Well you have forgotten before.” Sunset stated, very matter-of-factly.

“Well maybe if you’re so worried about the trash you should just take it out yourself then.” Adagio responded as she abruptly stood up and strutted over to Sunset with a piercing gaze.

Sunset considered Adagio’s words for a moment. In a way, she did have a point. It would have been easy for her to take the trash out herself as she left, but this wasn’t about making sure the trash was taken out, at least not anymore. No, this was about principle now; it was about Adagio completing her assigned chore and helping out around the apartment for a change.

“It’s not my job to take the trash out this week, it’s yours.” She sternly declared as Adagio stopped just inches away from her.

“And why is that? Because your precious chore wheel says so?” Adagio conceitedly asked. “You act like that thing is set in stone. News flash, it isn’t, Sunny.”

“Don’t call me ‘Sunny’!” Sunset shouted, momentarily losing her composure.

If there was one thing that got under Sunset’s skin, it was being called ‘Sunny’. She hated that nickname, she always had. She didn’t know why it upset her so much, it just did, and, unfortunately for her, Adagio knew that.

“Oh, did I upset you?” Adagio sarcastically asked with a sly grin on her face. “I’m so sorry…Sunny.”

And then the unthinkable happened; Sunset snapped. In her newfound rage she pounced on Adagio, tackling the Dazzling to the ground and holding her down at the shoulders.

Needless to say, Adagio was startled by Sunset’s assault on her, but as she stared up at Sunset hovering over her with a face twisted by anger, she legitimately feared for her safety.

“WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN PROBLEM?!” Sunset yelled straight in Adagio’s face.

Aria and Sonata, who had just been watching the argument unfold from the couch until this point, quickly leapt from their seats and pulled Sunset off of their sister. Sunset flailed in a futile effort to break free from their hold as Adagio slowly got back on her feet.

“WHAT’S MY PROBLEM?!” Adagio heatedly asked. “I’M NOT THE ONE WHO JUST ATTACKED SOMEONE, SUNNY!”

Upon hearing Adagio call her ‘Sunny’ again, Sunset gave a low growl and increased the strength of her flailing, nearly breaking free from Aria and Sonata’s hold on her.

“For fuck’s sake, Adagio, will you quite calling her that!” Aria shouted as she continued trying to hold Sunset back.

“It’s okay, Sunset.” Sonata tried assuring the enraged girl. “Just calm down, everything will be okay.”

Adagio was a bit taken aback by what was happening. Were her sisters really standing up for Sunset, after she’d just attacked her?

“Keep holding her.” She instructed them as she cracked her knuckles. “I’m going to do something I should have done long ago.”

Sunset suddenly came to her senses upon hearing Adagio’s threatening words. She’d been in such a blind rage when she tackled Adagio to the ground that she hadn’t even considered the possibility that she might retaliate, and now she was in a position where she couldn’t escape from said retaliation.

“Have you completely lost it?!” Aria asked as she and Sonata pulled her further away from Adagio. “We’re not going to let you hurt Sunset.”

“Yeah,” Sonata firmly agreed. “She’s been really nice to us, so why are you being so mean to her, Adagio?”

“Nice? NICE?!” Adagio asked in total disbelief. “Have you forgotten that she’s the reason we lost our magic, that she’s the reason we were stuck living in that van down by the river, that she just ATTACKED ME?!”

“You’re right, she is the reason for those things and she did attack you.” Sonata admitted as she let go of Sunset, feeling that the girl had calmed down enough to be released. “But she’s also the reason we’re not still living in that van down by the river, and she only attacked you because you kept provoking her.”

“Sonata’s right,” Aria agreed as she too let go of Sunset. “Sunset’s been nothing but cool to us for the last few weeks, so whatever grudges you’re holding against her, you seriously need to let them go.”

Adagio was now completely taken aback by what was happening. In fact, she was completely flabbergasted that her sisters were taking Sunset’s side in this argument.

“UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!” Was all she could muster as she stormed past the three girls and out the door.


With nowhere else to go after storming out of Sunset’s apartment, Adagio headed to CHS to spend the night in her office. Tomorrow was her day to serve as motivational speaker anyways, so she just saw it as getting to work really early.

“I can’t believe those two,” She said to herself through gritted teeth as she unlocked the front doors of the school with her faculty key. “And after everything I’ve done for them over the years.”

Once Adagio reached her office, she unlocked the door and quickly took a seat behind her desk. She then took a bottle of whiskey out of the desk, which she normally used for irishing up her morning coffee, and proceeded to take a few swigs from it.

“Smooth.” She commented as she put the bottle down on her desk.

With nothing else to do, Adagio leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, hoping to get at least a little sleep before the morning. She couldn’t have had her eyes closed more than ten minutes before she heard a voice call out to her.

“You know Principal Celestia will fire you if she knows you’re drinking on school grounds, right?” Sunset stated from the open doorway, which Adagio only just realized she’d left open after opening her eyes.

“Are you going to rat on me?” She asked, not really caring why Sunset was there or how she’d found her.

“No.” Sunset plainly answered as she walked into the room. “I’m not going to rat on you, at least not yet.”

Adagio raised an eyebrow in confusion as Sunset took a seat in front of the desk.

“What do you mean ‘at least not yet’?” She inquired. “Are you planning on blackmailing me?”

“Not exactly,” Sunset replied. “You and I are going to have a little chat, and depending on how it goes I may or may not tell Celestia about your drinking.”

The last thing Adagio wanted to do in that moment was have a little chat with Sunset, but given that was all the Rainboom wanted in exchange for keeping her mouth shut she couldn’t really refuse.

“Fine.” Adagio agreed as she pushed the bottle of whiskey closer to Sunset, silently offering her some. “So how does this work? You talk first? I talk first?”

“I’ll go first.” Sunset said as she pushed the bottle back. “For starters, I’m sorry for attacking you, Adagio. Sonata was right about you provoking me, but that’s still no excuse for lashing out at you the way I did.”

Damn right. Adagio thought to herself.

“Having said that,” Sunset continued. “I want to know why you were provoking me.”

“Really, Sunn…err…Sunset?” Adagio condescendingly asked, almost calling Sunset ‘Sunny’ again before catching herself. “I think it’s pretty obvious that I provoked you because you were pissing me off about the damn trash.”

Sunset tried to ignore Adagio’s condescending tone before speaking up again, not wanting to escalate things back to the levels they were at the apartment.

“And how was I pissing you off about the trash?” She inquired.

“Are you kidding me?” Adagio asked, sounding a teeny bit drunk. “I told you I’d do it after the show and you gave me crap about it.”

“I asked you if you’d remember since you didn’t remember the last time it was your turn to take the trash out.” Sunset clarified a tad more defensively than she intended.

“Oh yeah, that’s what you asked alright, with an attitude.” Adagio stated as she took another swig of whiskey.

Sunset thought back to when she’d asked Adagio if she’d remember to take the trash out.

“Okay, maybe I could’ve asked a bit nicer.” She conceded. “But why is it that you slack off so much when it comes to doing your chores?”

“Oh when have I ever slacked off in doing my chores?” Adagio asked as she put the whiskey bottle down again.

“Seriously?” Sunset deadpanned as she took the bottle of whiskey, figuring Adagio had had enough to drink. “Last week when you were supposed to do laundry you put it off for so long that it didn’t all fit in the washing machine. The week before that when you were supposed to wash dishes you just threw all the dishes in the sink without washing them, and by the time they did get washed some of the plates had fermented cheese on them. The week before that…”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Adagio defeatedly interjected. “So I don’t like doing chores, a lot of people don’t.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Sunset considered her response.

“Alright.” She eventually said, fully knowing that disliking chores wasn’t the real reason for Adagio’s lax attitude towards them. “But answer me this; why did you try to move in with Wallflower?”

Adagio lowered her head and looked away in embarrassment as she recalled the time she tried moving in with Wallflower Blush.


“As I see it, there’s only one solution,” Adagio declared as she placed both her hands on Wallflower’s shoulders. “And that’s for me to get my things and move in with you, Wallflower.”

“W-what?!” Wallflower winced as she turned her head to look at the Dazzling leader with eyes as wide as saucer plates.

“That’s right. You and I are going to be besties, gal pals, amigos.” Adagio egotistically stated as she took her hands off Wallflower and headed for the door. “I’m going to get my things.”

“Ms. Dazzle,” Vice Principal Luna intervened as she stood up from her seat. “While I’m glad you seem committed to helping Wallflower, I don’t think this is necessary.”

Adagio stopped in the doorway and stared back at Luna with a serious and determined look.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass because I’m moving in with her.” She asserted as she pointed to Wallflower. “I’m sick and tired of living with Sunset Shimmer. She makes me wish I were still LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!”

Adagio exited the doorway and slammed the door behind her, leaving Wallflower and Luna to simply stare at each other in confusion. That is, until she opened the door a second later.

“Um, where do you live, Wallflower?” She awkwardly asked.

“Oh, um, 742 Evergreen Terrace.” Wallflower answered.

“Great, thanks.” She replied as she closed the door behind her once again.

Adagio couldn’t believe that her plan had actually worked. She walked down the halls of CHS with an uncanny smile on her face, thinking about how much better things would be away from Sunset Shimmer.

“Wait until I tell Aria and Sonata…” She remarked to herself before quickly realizing she’d neglected to consider her sisters when enacting her plan.

Adagio took a moment to consider her options.

“Eh, I’m sure Wallflower won’t mind a few extra roommates.” She commented, deciding she was going to bring them along with her. “It’ll just be like a nice surprise for her when all three of us show up at her house.”

Upon mentioning Wallflower’s house aloud, Adagio began to wonder if it was within walking distance of the school or not. She quickly took out her phone, opened the Maps app, and typed in Wallflower’s address.

“What?!” She shouted when she received an ‘Address Not Found’ message. Had she heard Wallflower wrong?

Adagio quickly turned around and ran back to Vice Principal Luna’s office. When she got there, she vehemently opened the door only to find the room completely empty.

“Dammit!” She hollered as she threw her phone on the ground, realizing she’d been given a fake address and that both Wallflower and Luna had left before she’d figured it out.


“How do you even know about that?” Adagio embarrassingly asked Sunset.

“Wallflower’s my friend, she tells me things.” Sunset clarified. “So, why did you try to and move in with her? And don’t tell me it’s because of the chores because I know that’s bullshit.”

Adagio quickly ceased feeling embarrassed and lifted her, looking Sunset square in the eyes.

“Oh, you know why.” She began to say, a burning resentment in her voice. “I know you know why, but for some reason you just won’t be satisfied until I say it out loud, will you? Fine then, it’s because I hate you, Sunset Shimmer! Happy?! I hate you for ruining my plans at the Battle of the Bands, I hate you for making me lose my magic, AND I HATE YOU FOR TAKING MY SISTERS AWAY FROM ME!”

At this point, Adagio’s anger had turned to anguish as she struggled to keep what little composure she had left.

“Adagio, I’m haven’t taken your sisters away from you.” Sunset gently stated, easily sensing that the Dazzling was feeling very abashed.

“Don’t play dumb with me!” Adagio poignantly shouted as tears started flowing down her cheeks. “You think I haven’t noticed what’s been happening over the last few weeks? You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve replaced me?”

Sunset was now legitimately concerned about Adagio’s mental health. Frankly, the former siren was starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist to her.

“Adagio, I don’t know what you think has been happening, but I can assure you that I’m haven’t replaced you.” She serenely clarified.

“Oh bullshit!” Adagio retorted as she stood up and slammed her hands down on the desk, causing Sunset to slightly wince. “Ever since we moved in with you Aria and Sonata have treated you like you’re the one in charge, like you’re the leader, and you’ve been more than happy to let them. Just look at what happened tonight; I told them to hold you so I could get even with you for attacking me and they defended you, they took your side. In the old days that never would have happened!”

Well of courses I was happy that they defended me. Sunset silently thought to herself.

Adagio slumped back into her seat as she continued to sob.

I’ve always been the one in charge, I’ve always been the leader. If I’m not anymore, then have my sisters lost all respect for me, am I even still a Dazzling?” She asked, feeling completely and utterly dejected.

“Of course you’re a Dazzling.” Aria’s voice could be heard saying from the doorway.

Both Adagio and Sunset turned their attention to the doorway to see both Aria and Sonata standing there, looking rather emotional.

“And of course we still respect you.” Sonata added as the two girls walked into the room.

“H-how long have you two been standing there?” Adagio asked as she wiped her tears away in an attempt to seem more composed than she actually was.

“Since you said that we’ve been treating Sunset like our leader.” Aria answered.

“And by the way, you’re wrong about that.” Sonata chimed in as her and Aria made their way around the desk, wrapping their sister in a warm and loving hug. “We may consider Sunset a good friend, but there’s no way she could take your place as our leader, Adagio.”

“Yeah, she lacks that killer siren instinct you have.” Aria added.

Sunset watched the heartwarming scene of sisterly love unfolded in front of her as she tried to figure out if it was a good thing or bad thing that she lacked this ‘killer siren instinct’ that Adagio supposedly had.

“Let’s be clear though, things aren’t going to be exactly like they used to be.” Aria sternly explained as she and Sonata broke the hug with their sister. “We’re not just going to blindly follow you anymore, especially when you ask us to help you beat the person who’s letting us stay in her apartment for free.”

Adagio looked to both her sisters and then to Sunset before giving a small sigh.

“Okay, fair enough.” She agreed, causing Sunset to give a sigh herself, though one of relief.

“So, if we’re all good now, can we go home?” Sonata nervously asked. “The school’s kind of creepy at night.”

Both Aria and Adagio rolled their eyes at their sister’s caitiff words. Sunset simply gave a small giggle.

“You two go on ahead, I need to talk with Sunset some more.” Adagio informed her sisters.

Aria and Sonata just looked at each other perplexingly and shrugged before leaving the room.

“So are you satisfied with our little chat?” Adagio asked once she was once again alone with Sunset. “You’re not going to tell Celestia about my whiskey?”

“Oh, I never was.” Sunset casually stated as she stood up from her seat. “I lied when I said that Principal Celestia would fire you if she knew you were drinking on school grounds. There’s no official rule against faculty and staff having alcohol. In fact, I happen to know that Celestia keeps a bottle of tequila in her desk.”

Adagio raised her eyebrows in astonishment, finding it difficult to believe that both Sunset had lied to her so masterfully and that Celestia of all people kept an alcoholic beverage in her desk.

“Maybe Aria was wrong about you.” Adagio remarked as she too stood up from her seat. “Maybe you do have some killer siren instinct.”

“Um, thanks?” Sunset replied, still unsure if killer siren instinct was a good thing or not.

Adagio wrapped her arm around Sunset’s shoulder as the two girls walked out into the hallway.

“Come on, let’s go home.” She contentedly said.

Author's Note:

If you have a suggestion for a future chapter let me know in the comments.

The next chapter will feature Sonata and Flash Sentry.