• Published 3rd Jun 2019
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LunaSqueak: adventures of a Lunar Guard - Kaliann25



Pipsqueak have turned eighteen, and is ready to join the invincible Lunar Guard. The most powerful soldiers of Equestria. But being a soldier of Luna is not easy, and there would be a lot of obstacles in his way. But Pip is ready for everything.

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Training and initiation rites

Training and initiation rites

That Monday Pipsqueak entered to the Lunar Guard’s training field, wearing his new rookie uniform with pride. It was a black and blue armor, almost the same as the rest of the guards. The only difference was that Pip’s armor didn’t have Luna’s emblem on its chest plate and its flanks.
But he will have it soon, at the completion of the training.


Soon, Pip found the other rookies, the other ponies who lacked the emblem of the Moon on their armors.
They were just five. A small number, compared with the rest of the Royal Guards, but it that number was standard for the Lunar Guard. The standards set by Black Swordsman and Lightning Flash were too high for the majority of the ponies.

The new members were, Cold Fusion; an earth pony like Pipsqueak. Quick Storm, the dark purple pegasus, Reality Slash, another pegasus with black fur and white mane. And last but not least, Acid Javeline; amber-colored pegasus with cyan mane.

“Hey!” smiled Pip. “I guess you are my new comrades!”

“A pleasure to meet you, pal!” greeted Quick Storm, in excellent mood. “Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll be.” said Pip. “Everypony knows that the Lunar Guard is no joke.”

Acid sighed. “I hear you man!” joined Acid Javeline. “You should saw my trial. I get one of my opponents there, right at the stallion’s weakest point. Then, when he bended in pain, I bucked his head. Then his friends got me and he had his revenge by smashing my head on the ground over and over. I was already defeated by them, but they didn’t show mercy no matter how much I begged them to stop.”

“You realize that you did! They are our new comrades!” exclaimed Reality Slash.

“Hey, a friend told me you used the very same trick, why are you complaining?” asked Acid.

Reality blushed furiously. “Okay, well, yeah, but I panicked and…”

Pip laughed happily. “Don’t worry! Black Swordsman have told me that the Lunar Guard don’t play by the rules. We play to win! The only tricks that are considered dirty are the ones that doesn’t help you.”

Cold Fusion glared coldly at Pipsqueak. “Are you telling us that you, an insignificant pony, knows the Black Swordsman?”

Pip rolled his eyes, but in the bottom of his heart he knew that he had three choices. To tell them that he was a close friend of Princess Luna since he was little, lie, or ignore Cold’s provocation.
He chose to lie.

“Yes! I met him at a ‘meet and greet’ event after the Military Games. So what?”

Cold Fusion blushed, and turned away. “Hmpf, I came here to serve Princess Luna. Not to make friends. If I wanted to make friends, I would have joined the Guard of Friendship.”

“Bad thing!” said Black Swordsman, approaching the rookies along with his wife. “Because no matter how far you get as a ‘solo-player’ there’s point where you’ll need the help of a friend you can trust.”

“A lesson that even Black learned with time.” giggled Lightning Flash.

The new recruits saluted their captains. “Good morning, Captain Black Swordsman, Captain Lighting Flash!”

The legendary warriors smiled at the rookies.

“It’s always a pleasure to meet a new generation of Lunar Guards, ready to begin their training.”

“It is an honor to serve you and Princess Luna, sir, madam, sir!” said Acid Javelin.

Lightning Flash made a small nod. “Good to see that enthusiasm! You’re going to need it. Now come on! We’ll get your weapons for today’s training.”

The group of new recruits followed their captains to the official smithy of the Lunar Guard, ran by a vermillion-red earth pony with pink mane.

“The rookies! Just in time!” smiled the blacksmith.

Black Swordsman made a small nod and turned to the group, introducing the red earth pony. “Let me introduce you to the one and only ‘Blacksmith-scammer’, Liz.”

Liz rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Yeah, right. Just ask me to fix your stupid swords again, stupid.”

Black and Lightning laughed at this.

“We know Lizbeth since we lived in Aincrad. We like to tease each other like this.” explained Lightning Flash.

Liz winked an eye to her friends, and opened the doors of the smithy to the new recruits. “We’ll have more than enough time to know each other better, now its weapon time!”

She pulled a small cart full of weapons, and began to give one to each rookie.

“Hey, can’t we choose our own weapon?” asked Reality Slash balancing his war-hammer.

“No.” said Lightning coldly. “”First you’ll have to train with all the weapons until you find the one you’re comfortable with.”

“When you finish your training, you’ll have practiced enough with all weapons to make sure which makes you feel better.” continued Black Swordsman.

“So I can make you your customized weapon.” finished Lizbeth.

Quick Storm tilted her head in confusion. “A custom weapon? Just like that?”

Liz nodded, proud. “Yes. A weapon is the extension of a warrior. All of us are trained to use all kinds of weapons, but there’s always one we are better at using. Once I give you your weapon, you must name it and take care of it as it was another part of yourselves.”

With that the Black Swordsman guided his group to a door in the bottom of the training field.

“This will take you to a dungeon, in the depths of Aincrad. This is a medium-ranked dungeon, so monsters won’t be as dangerous, and the traps are not lethal. You’ll get out of there only with some minor injuries.”

Cold Fusion raised a hoof. “Question, how’s that this door…?”

“A small favor from our beloved God of Chaos Spike.” explained Lightning with a small shrug. “One of his ‘Crazy Doors.’”

Black Swordsman grinned at them. “From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best of lucks and that you return in one piece.”

“But what do we have to do?” asked Acid Javelin.

“To get to the other side, where you’ll find another ‘Crazy Door’ that would bring you back here. You can work together, or act as ‘solo-players’ I don’t care. But I need you to come back safe, all of you.”

With that the Black Swordsman opened the ‘Crazy-Door’ to his new trainees.
And, after exchange nervous glances, they crossed the door one by one.

They found themselves at a large temple-like structure made out of stone. The ground was covered in soft moss, where a six-headed hydra was slumbering peacefully.
Gulping, the recruits tried to move quietly, but the Black Swordsman slammed the door closed, waking up the monster.
The hydra looked at the group with its purple eyes shining in expectation, and the first thing it did was to send one of its heads to them.

Pip raised his weapon, a large halberd, blocking the creature’s attack, but the impact pushed him back.

Cold fusion jumped, and knocked the head unconscious with his assigned weapon, a war hammer.

The hydra roared, and retreated its unconscious head with the help of the remaining five, and rethought strategy.
Finally it decided to aim one head to each target.

Unfortunately this time the rookies were ready.
Reality Slash cut one head off, ad ran over the neck as it was a bridge to get to the back of the monster.
Two heads immediately noticed and charged against the pegasus. Fortunately, Acid Javelin noticed and shot the monster with her ballista.

The arrow went through the monster’s neck right before it could chow one of Reality’s back legs, giving her time to stab the creature’s back with his gladius.
The hydra roared in pain, and sent one of its remaining heads to Reality, and this time no pony could help him in time, and her leg got caught on the monster’s jaw.

“SH1T!! A LITTLE HELP!”

Pip aimed his halberd’s tip to the hydra’s eye, killing the head, and freeing his partner, but he was down.

The hydra took it as its chance, and sent another of its heads against the now helpless pony, when Quick Storm threw her spear through its head, killing it, but being careful enough to not to cut it.
They already had two extra heads to worry about.

One of the new heads have turned its attention to Pipsqueak, and opened its mouth to swallow the pony, when an arrow went through its back head, and went out of its open mouth.
Acid recharged her ballista, and hot to the legs of the creature, before it switched from fangs to claws.

Cold smirked lightly, and dodging the desperate attacks of the remaining two heads, he smashed the knees with his hammer, breaking them, leaving the hydra unable to stand or to chase them

“What about we put it out of its misery?” suggested Quick Storm, flying in circles around the poor hydra.

“Go ahead!” said Pip.

She threw her spear again, aiming to the back, and being careful enough to get the heart.

The hydra was dead.

“Not too bad for being our first monster, but I wish I did more!” said Pipsqueak.

Acid Javelin put her hoof on his shoulder happily. “Easy pal, you’ll have your chance to shine. Everypony will.”

“This is a dungeon after all.” shrugged Reality Slash.

Pip smiled. “You’re right. Now what?”

Now that the hydra was dead, the group had the chance to examine the rest of the room. “There are two doors!” said Quick Storm. Which one shall we use?”

“”Let’s take left!” said Acid.

“Cool!” agreed the rest.

Pip then turned to Cold Fusion with a smirk. “Cold, you take right.”

“Yeah, you are the one who wants to play alone, we won’t stop you.” shrugged Reality Slash.

Cold Fusion rolled his eyes. “Very funny, right?”

“You were the one who didn’t want to make friends but to serve Princess Luna.” added Quick Storm.

“Yes, dude, we won’t stop you if you want to become a solo-player.”

Cold let them laugh, and stared at the door of the right for a minute before he joined his companions.
They looked at him when he joined, but didn’t say more.

Nine hours later the Black Swordsman and the Lightning Flash looked at their new recruits exiting the door.
They were all covered with bruises and burns, and they all limped at least in one hoof. But they were smiling.

At Black’s signal, a cadet brought them a tray with potions.

“Drink this to heal your wounds for tomorrow morning.” said Lightning. “Something tells me that you’ll sleep well tonight.”

“And you better because I want you out of your beds at four hundred!” added Black.

All the new recruits drank the potions, instantly feeling better.

“Now that you are all refreshed, privates Night Wing and Red Hood will take you to the barracks. Take a quick shower, and I want you at the dining room in twenty minutes. Okay?”

“Sir, yes sir!” shouted the new recruits.

Two pegasi stepped ahead, a male and a female, and proceed to guide them to their rooms, when Black Swordsman called Pip apart. “Wait, recruit Squeak!”

“Yes?” asked Pip. He turned to his companions, who stopped waiting for him, but he waved a hoof to them. “It’s okay, I’ll be with you in no time!”

“Are you sure?” asked him Quick Storm.

“Of course, don’t worry about me.”

They nodded and left him with Black and Lighting.

“Okay, now what?”

“You see, Princess Luna made special arrangements for you.” explained Lightning Flash. “You have a private room.

Pip rolled his eyes, annoyed. “Aren’t private rooms for officers only?”

“Yes, but you are very dear to Princess Luna. Her Nightmare Night’s special friend.”

“And she wants you to be as comfortable as possible.”

Pip face-hoofed, groaning. “Go tell her that thanks but no thanks. I’ll live at the barracks with the rest of my partners.”

“But, because of Princess’ order, you don’t have a bed in there. Yours is in your private room.” explained Lightning.

“Then put one and done, right?” asked Pip. “Is not like you can’t get one n Canterlot.”

And he turned away, joining the other new recruits.

Watching him leaving, Black couldn’t help but smile. “I’m proud of him.”

Lightning nodded, giggling. “Yeah, Princess Luna’s little friend is not a spoiled brat after all. Good for him.”

In the meantime, Pip have arrived to the barracks where he would share a room with Cold Fusion and Reality Slash.
But, as the captains said, his bed was missing.

“Hey!” greeted the other earth pony.

“As you can see, we took the beds. One is missing and since you stayed behind…”

Pip sighed. “That was what the captains wanted to tell me, that there was a missing bed and I may spend the night at a private room for tonight, but I refused. I rather sleep in the floor, so they said that they would do everything in their power to get a new bed for tonight.”

“Hey, why didn’t you take the private room? That would be so cool!” said Reality Slash.

“Obviously, because our partner knows that he is here to get the full military experience.” said Cold, with an approving smile. Still a tiny smile.

“Exactly! We are now Lunar Guards, we have to be strong!”

Cold aimed a hoof to his bed. “Well, in the meantime, you can put your stuff in my bed.”

“Thanks!” said Pip.

Cold nodded. “If we’re going to spend all our time together from now on, we better get along.”

“Remind me who was the one who didn’t come here to make friends was?” mocked Reality.

“He is our very own tsundere!” laughed Pip.

Cold didn’t say a word, but both Pip and Reality could swear that they noticed a small smirk.

Then they showered and went to the dining room.
And, when they returned to their room, there was an extra bed waiting for Pip.

The rest of the first week was pretty much alike.
They never used the same weapon twice, and the dungeon they visited was always different, along with the monster they faced.

And, at the end of each dungeon, their superiors were waiting for them with recovery potions from Aincrad.

“This courtesy will last only for your first week of training.” they warned them. “Then, your combat skills have to be sharpened enough to face a dungeon without major damage.”

“Sir, yes sir!” answered the rookies.

With that, the first week of training came to an end.

For the big finish, their officer in command, Blacked Night, took the rookies to the hallway that separated Luna’s wing from Celestia’s.

“So today are we supposed to patrol this hallway?” asked Reality Slash.

“No, we are here for our initiation rite.” explained Reality Slash. “Right now, her Royal Highness Princess Luna, is on her way here with her sister, Princess Celestia. Do you know what it means?”

The Solar soldiers who were patrolling that hallways only groaned in annoyance, as the Lunar Guards smirked expectantly.

“A Lunar Guard shows little to no respect to Princess Celestia.” explained Blackest Night. “And, the Lunar Guard is famous for making Celestia jokes right in her face.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Celestia joke!” said the well-trained Lunars in unison.

The new recruits gulped.

“What? But…”

“Easy, we are under direct protection of Princess Luna, we can be as disrespectful as we want with the other Princesses, and legally, there’s nothing they can do about it.”

“They are coming!” announced a Lunar.

Blackest Night turned to the rookies. “Are you sure that no one wants to try? The timing is perfect, and you’ll have to do it at some point anyway.”

Pip shyly raised a hoof. “I’ll do it. I know a joke, is not a Celestia joke, but I think I can adapt it.”

Blackest Night smiled. “Go ahead, I believe in you.”

Celestia and Luna turned and were getting into the hallway as they were chatting happily.

“Did he really rejected the private room you prepared for him?” asked Celestia, surprised.

Luna sighed. “Yes, can you imagine it? My little Pip have turned into a stallion now, but I don’t know how I feel about having him at my Guard. Is too dangerous.”

Celestia nodded understandingly. “You cannot help but worrying about your little friend, especially since you know each other since he was little. But, from my experience, the best advice I can give you is to let him be.”

“But I…”

“Luna, you’re not his mom, neither his mentor. You are his friend, and as such, you have to support him.” said Celestia, wisely. “I, as a mentor, had to let my students meet lots of mistakes in order for them to grow up.”

Luna smiled. “You are right, Tia, I have to stay at Pip’s side no matter what.”

“Same goes for me with Twilight and Blue Blood.”

“What worries me the most is that he doesn’t fit with my soldiers.”

Then they heard Pipsqueak’s voice all over the hallway: “Okay, the thing is that Celestia gets into a bar, with her phoenix, and the bartender asks, ‘Does that animal talks?’ and the phoenix answers: ‘Yes, but she is so stupid that you better ignore her babbling.”

The laughs from the Lunar Guards filled the hallway.
Luna turned to her sister when she started to feel hot. As she thought, Celestia’s mane have turned into fire, and her eyes were burning flames.

“Tia…”

“Don’t worry, I see that he fits right in, I HATE THE LUNAR GUARD, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!”

And she went to her wing, swearing.

Pip raised an eyebrow. “Huh, it feels a bit odd hear the Princess saying those things.”

“This is nothing.” said Blackest Night. “You should hear her when she is having a bad day.”

“And you will kid, because you have guts.” Smiled a guard. “I think you deserve a drink.”

“Yeah, did you see Celestia’s face?”

“I have to tell this joke to my friend. Yeah, I’ll definitely buy you a beer.”

“But I only told a joke, a really stupid joke.” Said Pip.

“Yes, but you showed that you are brave enough to make fun of Celestia on your first week. This is a new record for the Lunar Guard.”

“Yeah, let us buy you a few drinks, it won’t harm.”

Pip looked at Luna, who was astonished.
He winked an eye to her, and let the others take him to the bar, as his companions followed them.

“Hey, is just me or we’ll have to carry him back to the room?” asked Reality Slash.

“Maybe. All I care now is that we have to think in our own Celestia joke.” sighed Cold Fusion.

Author's Note:

This is the second chapter, more focused in the Lunar Guard and its traditions. Again, this takes a lot of elements from my other fic, ‘Chaos: the Age of Spike’ like the Lunar Guard laughing at Tia, and the SAO references.
But soon enough I’ll move to the romantic element. I promise.

Read ya’ later!!