Alicorns, an Orangutan, and L-Space
Written by: Honey Mead
Pre-read by: Doomande and Ponky
Chapter 2
[Footnotes]
“Orangutan!”
“OOOOK!”
The two librarians stared at each other in disbelief.
“Why is there an orangutan in my library?!”
“Oook ook ooook?”
Twilight blinked at the orange simian swaying back and forth on his knuckles with his feet a good hoof off the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut, “Okay. This isn’t real. On the count of three I will open my eyes. When I do everything will be back to normal. No extra room, no mess on the floor, and no Pongo pygmaeus. One.... Two.... Three.”
Twilight opened her eyes. The orangutan was gone. “Oh thank goodness. I really need to get more sleep. Hallucina--”
It was here that Twilight Sparkle realized that the door was still a mess on the floor, and that it still existed at all. She also noted that the extra room that should not exist still existed. It was also when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, but there was nopony there. Something tapped her shoulder again and again there was no one behind her. It was when she felt a tap on the top of her head that she looked up.
The Librarian swung upside down from a chandelier that had no business at all being in a library. He smiled in a friendly way and waved. Twilight blinked at him for a moment before her mind decided on the proper course of action.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” A purple streak disappeared through the door leading back to the library proper(1).
Twilight slammed the door closed and leaned all her weight against it. She huffed loudly as her heart beat against her chest.
“Uh, Twilight?” a small purple and green dragon asked, stepping down the stairs that lead to their respective beds.
“Spike! I need you to take another letter!”
“But we just sent--”
“SPIKE!”
“Fine, geez,” he said moving to the stack of quills and parchment. Flicking the large feather over his shoulder he signaled to his adopted sister that he was ready.
“Dear Princess Celestia. The strangest thing happened today, I found an orangutan in a room of my library that, not only didn’t exist yesterday, but I am positive doesn’t fit within the tree itself. Any counsel you can provide would be greatly appreciated. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.”
Spike looked down at the words he had written on the scroll. He blinked. He looked up at Twilight then back at the scroll before once again returning his gaze to the unicorn. He struggled to find the appropriate words to express his confusion and came up with, “Wha?”
“Just send it.”
“But--”
“NOW!”
Spike recognized that particular tone of voice and moved with great haste. Rolling the parchment he inhaled deeply before sending a blast of green fire out to engulf the missive.
As the smoke disappeared out the window Twilight let out a sigh and slumped against the door in the sure knowledge that at the very least her mentor would promptly provide a solution to the current conundrum, if not appear herself to solve it for her.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door an orange simeon was busy organizing the newly arrived books that had been rather sloppily left on the floor(2). Or, rather, he tried to. He managed to get about halfway through the box when he stopped.
The book currently in his grasp, given his current understanding of the creature that he had recently met, most definitely did not belong in this library(4). He frowned and looked back down in the box. The next book was also one that had no place in a world run by ponies.
Coming to a decision he lumbered over to the door leading into the library proper and gave it a tentative knock.
}{AOL}{
Prince Blueblood stormed through the castle hallways. Or he would have, but storming was not something he had much practice at and he didn’t want to do it wrong. Also, the possibility of chipping a hoof seemed too prevalent on the flagstone floors. He settled for a stern canter; one that said, ‘I am important, I have places to be, get out of my way.’
This seemed to work well. Nopony moved to impede his progress. That is until a rather larger unicorn in purple armor stopped in front of him.
“Excuse me, Captain.” he said, irritably.
“Come now, there is no reason to stand on formality, cousin.”
“Of course... cousin,” Blueblood did his best to hide the cringe, but judging by Shining Armor’s smirk it didn’t work. “Now if you don’t mind, I must speak to my aunt.”
“Oh? Well, you’re in luck. Cadance was visiting and last I heard they were headed to the library.”
“Thank you,” Blueblood replied begrudgingly, hoping that his newest family member would take the hint.
“Anything for family. Since we are headed in the same direction, why don’t you walk with me?”
The prince did his best to object, but failed miserably and soon found himself walking shoulder to shoulder with the guard captain. It wasn’t that Blueblood had any particular disdain for his cousin’s new husband. He was a unicorn at least and he carried himself with the demeanor that could be easily mistaken for proper birth. But he was a commoner, and the worst kind, a guard! Guards are just above criminals, only because they kept the criminals away from him.
But the worst part, the salt in the wound, the final insult was his sister! That little purple she-devil. After wrecking, WRECKING, an entire section of the palace with her little dragon stunt she got REWARDED! Celestia’s little pet magician. It was enough to make one scream!
“You okay, cuz?”
Blueblood realized he had been seething and quickly struggled to regain his composure. It would not do to be seen by the palace folk in such a state. “I am fine. And I would prefer that you not address me again in such a fashion.”
Shining pulled up to a stop before the pair of guards standing beside the entrance to the library, “Whatever you say, BB.” Before the prince could formulate a sufficiently indignant response, the captain spoke to the two guards: “At ease boys. Having a good day?”
“Sir, yes, sir.” they spoke in unison, neither seeming to relax in the slightest.
“I’m glad to hear it. Are the princesses still inside?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thank you,” he turned back to the prince. “After you.”
The door swung open and Prince Blueblood walked through with his nose held dangerously high in the air.
It was about thirty minutes later that the door opened again and the blue maned stallion stepped out with a slightly manic expression. “You did say that the princesses were, in fact, still inside?”
Both guards nodded in the affirmative. “Nopony has been past us save you and the prince.”
“And there was no big magic spell used? Say teleportation?”
The unicorn guard shook his head, “N-no s-sir..” he said finally noticing the expression worn by his superior.
“There was this odd sound that-”
“Sound? What sound?”
“Well, it was kinda like scroooooooocccchhhhhh.”
“Scrooooocccchhh?”
“No, more like, scraaaaaaaacccchhhhhh.”
“Scrach?”
“It was definitely more of a uh sound, maybe scruuuuuuccchhh.”
“You need to get your ears checked, it was much higher pitched than that. Something like screeeeeeeeecccchhhhhh. Yeah that was it, screeeeeeeeecccchhhhhh.”
“Oh yeah, now I remember screeeeeeeeecccchhhhhh. Don’t know how I got that confused.”
The two guards nodded in agreement before turning back to face their captain.
“So there was a screeeeeeeeecccchhhhhh sound.... and you two did what, exactly?”
The pegasus gulped, “Uhm, we figured that, uhm, with all three princesses in there that, uhm, if something was wrong they could handle it?”
“Three?”
The unicorn spoke up with a little more confidence than his counterpart, “Princess Luna has been in their for the better part of two days. Sir.”
Shining Armor nodded once before disappearing back into the library. Both guards let out a sigh as the door slammed closed behind him. Everything was fine for about five minutes.
“You’re completely sure then, that all the princesses should be in here?”
The guards leapt and brought their spears to bear against the intruder before realizing who it was and blushing as they withdrew them as quickly as they could. “Y-yes, sir.”
“Okay, just to be completely one hundred percent sure. You are saying that all three princesses are right now, at this very moment, in this library?”
“Y-yes, sir.”
Shining Armor glared at the two guards, his eye twitched.
}{AOL}{
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Twilight jumped her own height into the air as the hinges of the door rattled against the nails holding it to the wall.
“Oook oook.”
“What was that?” Spike asked, more than a little concerned.
“Weren't you paying attention? That’s the orangutan!”
“You mean there is really an orangutan in the library?”
“OOK! OOOK!”
“He doesn’t sound happy, Twi. Maybe you should try and get him out before he breaks something.”
“He already broke the door! We will just keep him contained until the princess sends us a reply.”
“Oook.”
“What do you mean he broke the door? You’re leaning against the door.”
“The other door, Spike.”
“But there isn’t another door in that room.”
On a scale of one to ten, the Librarian would rate his day at about a four; less than happy, but it could be worse. Twilight, on the other hoof, would rate her day at about a three; not as bad as Discord breaking free, but worse than, say, trying to understand Pinkie Sense™. Her assessment would change to a two in three... two... one.
*KNOCK - CRASH*
Spike swiped a hand in front of his face to clear away the obligatory cloud of dust and dirt that filled the air. It cleared to reveal the squat orange form of the Librarian looking rather bashful as he stood in the doorway that would be more accurate called a ‘way’.
“Uhhg.” Twilight moaned from under the door.
“Oook?” the Librarian asked. He looked down and noticed the four lavender limbs sticking out under the door. “EEK!”
The books he had been holding fell to the ground at his feet as he gripped the door. With a mighty heave he flipped it over and freed the unfortunate unicorn.
Too shocked to move Spike just stared at the long armed, short legged, pear shaped, orange ape standing over his adoptive sister. He watched as it expertly made its way around the slightly flattened unicorn, poking and prodding at her. Lifting her head, the Librarian forced her eyes open with powerful fingers and glared into them. Satisfied, he gently laid her head back down to let her sleep it off and turned to the purple and green lizard.
“Ook?” he asked, pointing to Twilight. Spike tilted his head in confusion. “Ook, oook?” the Librarian asked again.
“Are... are you talking to me?”
The Librarian nodded, “Oook ook ooook.”
“I-I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”
A huge hand gripped his face as he shook his head. The Librarian thought for a moment and a candle sprang to life behind him.
“Oook ook ooook ook.” he said, mimicking the actions of writing in the air.
Spike quickly picked up on what the orangutan was trying to communicate and ran to the desk with the parchment and quills. Retrieving said items, he handed them over and waited while the Librarian bent over them and scribbled furiously across the page. Finishing, he passed the letter to the baby dragon who took it and scanned the page.
Spike sighed and let the page drop to the floor. It landed face up, displaying the surprisingly neat and precise handwriting.
Oook oook ook ooooook. Oook ook, oooook ook. Oooook oook ook ooook ook oook oooook. Oook oook ooook!
Spike gripped his face. “This is going to be a long day.”
}{AOL}{
“Boo!”
“Boo!”
“That ain’t not’n spet’l for a un’corn!”
The black top hat flopped back to the tiny table and squeaked in surprise. The old nag behind the foals frowned at the mare standing on the little wooden crate that acted as a stage. The light blue unicorn struggled to maintain her composure in the face of her employer’s displeasure.
“It’s a paycheck Trixie. You need this paycheck!” she managed to force a smile to her lips and retrieve the discarded hat. “The Great and Powerful Trixie will now pull a rabbit from this ordinary top hat.”
Trixie closed her eyes in resignation. She readied herself to cast the spell to remove the small illusion hiding the rabbit(3). Before she could loose the energy, a distinct smell of smoke assaulted her nostrils. A cloud of soot coalesced before her eyes and flared up in a flash of green fire. All sound seemed to stop of a moment as every eye stared at the scroll laying on the stage at Trixie’s hooves.
Trixie, not wanting to give the foals a chance, grabbed the scroll in her magic and cracked the seal. Trixie scanned the page, her eyes widening as she read. When she reached the bottom of the page her face became a scowl. The scroll crumbled into a little ball and flared in a bright orange fire.
“Now. For Trixie’s next trick, Trixie will need a volunteer.”
I tried to make a joke here last time and judging by the lack of hate there are only two option...
Either nopony read it or you are all completely dense. Oh well, Have some funny.
I guessing that Celestia will meet Censured in Censured and make a lot of censoring
While Luna on the other hoof meet up with Censured in Censured and that they see a loot of censoring togetter
While I would love to be in Cadences horseshoes and meet Censured for Censured is one of my favorite characters... ohh and she pops up in Censured
Where would the princesses show up...
If nothing else, Celestia needs to meet up with Vetinari at some point. His pragmatism would probably either horrify or delight her, depending on how you write her, which would be a cool scene either way. I also would expect that he would take interest in her ability to raise the sun, perhaps even making her more indispensable than Vetinari himself.
It would be interesting to see Luna at UU, but as that would put her very close to Celestia, it would also be interesting to see her interact with the gods. She could also be sent to Uberwald or Death's abode, though, and she would probably like the Counterweight Continent... That all depends on how you want to write her.
Cadence is rather more difficult, since she is rather less developed than the other two princesses. It would probably be pretty funny to see her sent to XXXX, seeing as she is the most, to quote a (decidedly unwise) dragon, "namby-pamby" princess, and would probably take to the place like a fish to molasses. For the same reason I could also see her landing in Lancre with the Weatherwaxes to be rather humorous, though probably to a lesser extent. It might be interesting to see her interact with Tiffany, depending on when this is happening.
I do have one relatively major question, though. What shape is Equestria (or whatever the planet they are on is called; I often see Equis, but it tends to change from author to author)?
1226677
I like some of your ideas, but alas some will be unlikely to happen.
As to the shape of Equis, I have it in my mind as decidedly flat. This is because of the raising of the sun and moon. The major difference is that Eques is smaller than the Disc. And with the sun and seasons under direct control of the ponies it has only the four standard season rather than the Disc's eight. This also means that Equus doesn't spin and the compass maintains its value, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Also since the sun is of normal size and Equas is not as rampantly magical the speed of light is also of a normal speed. Of course this is just my personal take on it for the purposes of this story, Equos is whatever anypony wants to make of it. Equys.
1226677>>1226805
It is said by Mayor Puddinghead that the planet they are on are round in hearts warming eve, when talking about the map.
But that is a minor detail. I was also seeing it as flat, and flat planets are more fun than round ones
1226805
Ah, alright. I assume that it simply floats, then? That would certainly be a point of interest to the wizards (and wizzard, so that he can better run away from it) at UU. I suppose they do have Roundworld, though, so perhaps it wouldn't be that much of a shock...
I just thought of another queston, though it might be a bit of a spoiler. Will Twilight ever go to Diskworld? I can see her getting along very well with that inventor that Vetinari keeps in the hidden prison. What was his name again? I recall that he was based off of Leonardo Da Vinci, but I have no idea which book or books he was in...
1226956
Leonardo da Quirm
And I haven't decide if anyone will cross over again. If they do it will be many chapter hence.
Celestia definitely needs to meet Vetinari! And perhaps play a nice game of...
Thud! Perhaps her arrival would ensure the appearance of (...)* Sir Vimes and
the guard!
Luna has to have the "honorable" faculty of the UU running around in circles.
I think that she might have a nice discussion with Stibbons, or scare the hell
out of Rincewind. Or even run away from Ridcully's "hunting game".
Cadence should arrive in Lancre, meet the King, and talk a lot to Nanny Ogg
about delivering children**. After all the Nanny helped deliver a demi-god once...
And if Twilight ever gets the chance to go to Discworld,
she should definitely have a nice educated talk with some of the mages or
perhaps realize how much crazy she shares with Vetinari's "guest" Leonardo.
* - Insert a ridiculous amount of titles here.
** - foals, in this case.
1229415
*furiously scribbling notes* Brilliant! I am glad I thought of that!
I kind of want Luna to end up on the moon, especially since the Discworld's a lot nicer than Equis's. It even comes with dragons! If you want to keep the princesses to the Disc proper, I can think of nopony better to encounter Esme Weatherwax than another so finely balanced on the edge of darkness and light.
Celestia and Vetinari together sounds exquisite. Especially if she hates mimes as much as he does.
As for Cadence, I rather want her to encounter the Disc's second greatest lover. Casanunda's very existence might be enough to earn her full divine status.
One more thing to consider while we're focused on the Disc: Will any of the princesses meet Binky?
Now as for the Librarian, hopefully one of those books he found is an Ook-to-Equine phrasebook. Or, if all else fails, he can employ charades.
All told, definitely looking forward to more.
1231410
I wouldn't worry too much about the Librarian, he is a smart mon- Ape! I said Ape!
Binky? Deaths horse? I mean if death has a reason to show up than I guess they will.... but Binky is just a horse...
1231682 Eh. I suppose.
1229669 Wow, you're so smart!
1232599
To try and be serious for just a moment here.
I really want to stay as canon to the source material as possible with this story. This is the main reason I chose to send the Princesses to Discworld and the Librarian to Equestria. These characters don't really have much in the way of, well, character, so I can get away with a fair amount. This is as much a challenge to me to stay in character as it is to just have some stupid fun.
Enough of that mess.
Celestia needs to meet Esme. Imagine what she would do, when a immortal comes to Lancre. You! Get out of my country! *Magical whack* YOU DARE HIT A GODDE-*another magical whack* Shut up you.