“You know, it would have been nice to have a least a little warning about this multiple marriage thing,” Cadence tried to keep a bitter note out of her voice, but could not help but see the faint wince from Auntie Celestia as they slowly traversed the hallway that led to the north tower. “Shiny deserved better, too.”
“Indeed, but I did not wish to taint your decision,” Celestia softly replied, her proud ears drooping slightly in that way that always tore at Cadence’s heart. It irked her, because Celestia had always been able to manipulate the young alicorn with the most understated of gestures instead of any punishment for the trouble that an unguarded cookie jar or fun slippery banister caused. Well, she was not a little filly any more, and Cadence tried to firm her resolve while continuing their ‘argument.’
“My decision?”
“What would you have done if I had told you about this when you first started to court Shining Armor, or any other stallion for that matter? I did not tell you because I believed you would be more concerned with finding somepony who would be right for me, instead of following your heart. I feared that you would then decide that finding one who was worthy would be impossible, and that you’d give up the endeavor altogether. You care deeply for others, dear niece, and I couldn’t bear to think that you would deny yourself the pleasures and joys of marriage for any reason.”
“But you would have been Shiny’s wife, too.”
“Yes,” Celestia said with a slow nod. “But I would have kept my big mouth shut. You never would have known. I can keep a secret, after all.” Celestia let out her breath in what only technically could be called a sigh, but any train engineer would have recognized the release of pressure that kept an over-stressed boiler from exploding at any moment .
Cadence’s cadence slowed slightly. “Really? You wouldn’t have wanted—”
“No. I would have refused any such offer.” Only Cadence’s long experience with her aunt caught the tiny quiver of her bottom lip and the moment of fierce longing in her eyes, before the legendary iron control returned.
“But, you deserve to be happy too, Auntie Celestia. We could have come to some sort of agreement.” Trying her best to put on a show at levity, Cadence added, “Alternate Tuesdays, perhaps.”
Celestia’s face twisted into a grimace as they rounded the last corner to Mister Bean’s guest room. “Well, what could have been is entirely moot at this point. Baked Bean is our…” Celestia cleared her throat “husband now, so we must deal with the situation as it stands. I am sorry things have not progressed they way they should have, Cadence. Shining Armor was perfect for you, and you both would have been happy together.”
Cadence nodded slowly to this, and she inhaled deeply. “We would have, but what’s done is done.”
“Just please don’t mention any of this to Luna. She feels quite horrible enough already, and we don’t need to add to her misery.”
“I won’t.”
“Thank you, and good luck with Mister Bean. If there is anything I can do to help comfort him, please let me know. I will do what I can.”
“As will I.”
Celestia offered a sad smile. “I am most fortunate to have a niece who is so thoughtful and devoted. I will be in my drawing room, if you need me.”
Another nod was shared, and Cadence offered her own sad smile while her beloved Aunt walked away. While she did still feel slighted and hurt over the situation, Celestia had spoken the truth, and Cadence knew that she needed to put her own feelings behind her for now. Mister Bean’s wounds would be the deepest, and she was determined to care for him just as she would have for Shining Armor.
She was a Princess of Equestria, and it was now time to act like one.
“Mister Bean?” she called out with a gentle tap on his door. “May I come in?”
Princess Cadence’s ear flicked as it waited for a reply to come back, but the only response was a sniffling grunt that sounded vaguely affirmative. After a moment of debate, she decided the noise was as close as she was going to get to a yes, and she gently nudged the door open.
Her heart broke a little when she saw a Bean shaped lump under the blankets of the bed, with a sniffling yellow nose sticking out of one end. With a long breath, Cadence simply plopped her rear down on the bed next to him, and she felt the shiver of fear that ran up the length of his spine before one of his rear legs began to shake uncontrollably.
“Shining Armor isn’t actually going to kill you, you know,” she offered as she glanced around at the accommodations.
“Of course he won’t,” Bean whispered back. “He’s a Lieutenant. There’s probably some super-secret execution squad that specializes in silent eliminations that’ll come end me.”
“You’ll be happy to learn that no such thing exists. Even if it did, he wouldn’t do that either. He’s not that type of pony. He’s just… confused, and a little angry.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, it isn’t working. Saying he’s a little angry is like saying Mount Canter is a little hill.”
Cadence’s mouth opened, then snapped shut. Debating the point with him wasn’t going to help right now, and she could see why he would have a hard time believing her. “So, how are you holding up?”
“Oh, I’m just peachy,” he snorted with a slight note of derision tainting his words. “I’m married to three princesses all at the same time just because I couldn’t believe the truth that was staring me right in the face. If I had just…”
“Just what?” Cadence kindly asked after a lengthy pause.
“It doesn’t matter,” he bitterly said. “I’m dead, one way or another. If Shining Armor doesn’t get to me, you will, and if you don’t, the populace will. I don’t think anypony is ever going to forgive me for this one.”
“Why should I forgive you, particularly since you haven’t done anything wrong?”
“Oh, don’t start with that!” Bean sat up quickly and sent the blanket flying. “‘It wasn’t you, it was Nightmare Moon,’ right? If there had been even an ounce of intelligence in my empty skull, I wouldn’t have been anywhere near the Castle of the Two Sisters. I would have been home, where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. Nightmare Moon would have been defeated by Twilight Sparkle—who also is going to kill me, I’m sure—and you would have married Shining Armor, like you were supposed to. It doesn’t matter what anypony says. In the end, I was not supposed to be in the castle.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“I’m pretty extra sure with sugar on it, yes. I hope you’re not suggesting that there was some sort of fate involved with this.”
Cadence smiled softly, and her gaze went to the ceiling. “Fate is a fickle thing, if we really look at it. Ponies have often found themselves in places where they never expected to be, doing things they would never normally do. Take Twilight, for example. She was Celestia’s student, and up until two days ago, she expected to continue her studies at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns by herself. Friends were a terrible distraction, an inconvenience, and a waste of time. Then, out of the blue, her mentor sends her to a small town to make friends, and during that process, she defeats an ancient evil that everypony thought was a myth.
“Even I have been affected by the winds of destiny before today, Mister Bean. I never thought I would be a Princess. When I was a filly, I was just a regular pegasus, living in Cloudsdale and doing perfectly ordinary things. If you had told me then that, one day, I would have a horn, I would have laughed in your face and wondered if the altitude was getting to you.
“So, who knows? Maybe all of this was meant to be, in some way.”
Bean’s eyes darted back and forth as he thought this over. “That’s still quite a stretch, you gotta admit.”
“Perhaps, but I think you should remain open to the idea.”
Bean shook his head. “I can’t make any promises.”
“Fair enough. Do you need anything, Mister Bean? More blankets, maybe, or perhaps something to snack on?”
“Why are you so nice?” he blurted.
“Why shouldn’t I?” she countered.
“Because I just upended your whole life and took you away from your true love. I really thought you’d be screaming and hollering the next time we met, if not just strangling me outright.”
Cadence offered a cold and distant smile. “Praesentia ex res praeteritas prudenter agit, ne ea actiones futuras deturpet.”
”Huh?”
“It’s an old phrase I was taught when I first came to Canterlot. ‘From the experience of the past, the present acts prudently, lest it spoil future actions.’ Mister Bean, you can be assured that I am not without feeling in this matter. I am dumbfounded, disappointed, dismayed, and angry, but experience tells me that lashing out with those emotions will accomplish nothing. Despite my pains, I am choosing to act prudently in this matter, so that the future will be as good as it can be. I think it would be for the best if we worked together as we move forward in this strange endeavor, rather than constantly being at each other’s throats. We can figure all of this out, somehow.”
“I really, really hope so,” he murmured to the bedsheets.
Cadence wanted to say more, but she could see that Bean needed some time to ponder over what she had said. Without a word, she stood and left the room, but once in the hallway, she turned around and stuck her head back in the doorway.
“Trust in Harmony, Bean, and hope for the best. It might be all we can do at the moment, but it’s better than having no hope at all.”
Bean nodded slowly. “Thanks. I’ll try to, I guess.”
* * ☽ * *
“Mister Bean? Are you in here?”
Baked Bean rose from the desk, crossed the room, and slowly opened the door just a crack. He was not at all surprised to find Princess Luna on the other side, but his left rear leg began to hammer against the floor in terror once he got a good look at his visitor.
“Forgive me for not being present for most of the day, dear husband. I have been engaged in singular combat against that fearsome foe known as bureaucracy; but I have vanquished their champion, the foul red tape, and I am now at your disposal.”
“What in Equestria are you wearing?!” he breathlessly asked.
Luna glanced over herself, which brought a soft tinkling noise from the small silver bells that adorned her accoutrements. “Well, these are the Royal Shackles,” she held up a forehoof and presented the silver chains for his inspection “and the Consort’s Collar,” she pointed to the thick black choker that clung tightly to her neck “and the Leash of Obedience, and the Bridle of the Newlywed Bride, and—”
“Why are you wearing all of that?!” he hastily clarified.
“Is there something wrong with a wife wishing to please her husband?” Luna replied with a small pout. “After all, one of the many glorious benefits of marriage is to have another as your own, to share in the splendor of our bodies, to merge in the immortal dance of pleasure of procreation, and bring forth from our passions new life—”
All four of Bean’s legs began to quiver and buckle as his imagination provided a detailed image of what Luna was talking about, and he had to put one hoof on the doorframe to steady himself. “You… want to…”
“Is there something about these modern times that says we should not?” Luna asked. “A taboo, or some rule that I am unaware of that prevents a married couple from engaging in—”
“No, there’s nothing like that,” Bean cut her off again, desperate to somehow change the conversation. “In fact, most ponies would think there’s something very wrong with a couple who doesn’t do all of that. It’s just that, um…”
“Just what?” Luna pressed, with a slight jingling toss of her head.
“Well, you’re a princess. I’m a commoner. I’m sure that those two were never meant to intermingle, even a thousand years ago.”
Luna snorted at that. “Rubbish and poppycock. My first husband was just as common as you are, and we spent many wonderful years together. That notion was invented by the ‘nobility’ to artificially increase their own station and to make themselves feel more important.”
“Oh. I thought that, um…” Bean hesitated for a moment, then quickly sucked in a breath. “Anyway, I just met you. Nowadays, ponies like to get to know each other before they get serious in a relationship.”
Luna tilted her head in confusion, and Bean really wished she’d stop moving and making those little bells chime. It was sending a shiver of delight through his skin, and he hated it. “How peculiar. In my time, it was far preferable to secure a mate as quickly as possible. A mare needed to find a provider and a caregiver, one who was strong and would defend her from any threats. There was plenty of time to get to know a husband after you married them.”
“I have a hard time believing you ever needed a provider, or a protector.”
Luna bobbed her head from side to side in thought. “Perhaps not so much for myself and my sister, yes.”
“And besides, the only reason we are married is because—”
Bean snapped his own words off when Luna’s face twisted into one of torment and anguish. Though she was obviously trying to suppress them, large tears began to build in the corners of her eyes, and one slid down her cheek before she replied. “Because I forced us together.”
“No, Nightmare Moon did.”
“Mister Bean, let me explain something very clearly to you—I am Nightmare Moon, and Nightmare Moon is me. There is no simpler way of putting it. As much as you or I might want to dismiss my atrocities by blaming them on another, the simple fact of the matter is the Nightmare gave me the power to do what I wanted. I am the one who craved attention, I am the one who longed for a night eternal, and I am the one who swore the Oath Tripartite and bound us together for the rest of your days.
“Now, having said that, it is clear that your heart holds no love within it for me. I apologize for disturbing your evening, and I will harass you no more.”
“Luna, wait!” Bean quickly flung the door open, but she had pulled her hoof away from him before he could reach her. With a desperate twist, Bean flopped to the ground and managed to bite down on the Leash of Obedience. Instantly, the Princess froze in her tracks just the same as Bean’s mind came to a screeching halt.
“What is it?” she whispered.
It took a moment for Bean to cautiously put down the Leash of Obedience, lick his dry lips, and make words. “Look, that was stupid of me, and I’m sorry. I’m just feeling very confused and overwhelmed right now, and I have a hard time believing that you are interested in having our relationship be so intimate so soon.”
Luna said nothing in response, so Bean pressed on. “Just be a little patient with me, please. If there really is no way to undo this marriage, then I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with an angry wife. I’m going to say and do a lot of stupid things, despite my attempts to avoid doing so, and I really don’t want to be condemned for that.” He paused again, and added in a soft voice, “Kinda like how you don’t want to be condemned for what you may or may not have done.”
Luna’s eyes remained on his prone form for a moment, but then they went to her own hooves. “I would rather not remain angry with you, as well. All is forgiven, dear husband. Come! It is time for me to raise the moon. I have not done so for a thousand years, and I would very much appreciate your support in this endeavor.”
“Uh, sure,” he replied as his brain tried to catch up from the sudden mood swing. “I can come with you. Just one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to raise the moon while wearing this?” Bean asked with a small tug on the leash.
“Is there a reason why I should not?”
“Um…” Bean released his grip and took a step back. “No. No, there isn’t.”
“Sister? Mister Bean?” Celestia’s voice came over Bean’s shoulder, and he whirled in alarm and with a small squeak of fear while flinging himself up against the nearby wall.
“Princess Celestia! This isn’t what it looks like!”
Celestia glanced between him and Luna. “It isn’t? I thought you two were discussing the raising of the moon.”
“Well, we were, but, um…”
“Or do you refer to my Sister’s manner of dress?” Celestia tapped one hoof to her chin. “That does remind me. I should ensure that my own Consort’s Collar is in good repair, and my Royal Shackles will need to be lubricated. I think I left them in my closet somewhere, perhaps on that upper shelf with my red stilettos. I will ensure they are ready for your use, Mister Bean, before you bed me.”
Baked Bean could only come up with one appropriate response to that.
He fainted dead away.
* * ☽ * *
“Really, Mister Bean, I am sorry for using so much water,” Celestia offered once more to the still-sopping prince. “Should you happen to faint again, I will simply summon Doctor Horsenpfeffer for your care.”
“It’s all right,” Bean sputtered. With a plop, he parked his rear on the cool marble of the large and ornate balcony, and he began to wring out his tail. “I just need to watch my thoughts better.”
“Luna? Are you ready?”
The nocturnal princess gazed at the distant hills, and she drew in a slow and unsteady breath. “No, and it may be several years until I am. You should bring it up, Sister.”
“Lulu?”
The whispered nickname caught Bean’s attention, and his eyes went to Celestia while Luna glanced up with a small jingle of her bells. “Tia?”
“The moon is rightfully yours, and I will not touch it unless I absolutely must.” Celestia’s horn lit, but her head dipped slightly as the sun slid below the western hills. “You said, once, that I never gave you the respect you deserve. Over the last thousand years, I have had much time to ponder upon how right you were, and how wrong of me it was to treat you that way. I refuse to do so again, dear Sister. I will honor your position as Princess, and I will give you the veneration you are owed. You have always been my equal, and it is high time that my actions reflect that truth.”
Luna nodded slightly, and Bean could see the confusion—and the building delight—in her eyes with the words from her elder sister. It was clear that he needed to be completely reeducated in ancient Equestrian history, since he had never been given a solid reason for Luna’s jealousy. Evey account presented Celestia as infalliably right and Luna as a greedy, power-hungry mare who just wanted more and more. The truth, it seemed, was far more nuanced than that, but at least he could obtain the truth straight from the source.
Or, the truth according to Luna, at least. While he had to admit that he had not retained much information from his high school literary classes, he did remember that a pony’s view could be tainted by bias and emotion. Luna would, doubtless, have her own version of what happened, and it would be just as valid as Celestia’s version, or any other version that may exist.
“Go ahead, Sister,” Celestia gently urged, with a quick hug. “Bring up the moon.”
Even Bean, being the idiotic, common plebeian that he was, could feel the weight of destiny that came with those words. A thousand years ago, Celestia had been forced into combat—and had her sister banished—because the Moon refused to yield to the Sun.
Now, the Sun was willingly offering the sky.
With a hard swallow and a small nod, Luna turned to the eastern hills. For several long moments she remained motionless, but Bean somehow knew she was questioning herself. He wasn’t sure how he knew—perhaps it was because her ears were splayed back against her head, or maybe it was how her cropped tail flicked and twisted—but he knew, all the same. Would she be able to control the moon, after so long? Would the Darkness again overtake her? Could she trust herself to correctly perform her duties?
The last seemed to be the weightest of all. It was certainly one Bean was more than familiar with, and not in a good way.
With a gentle clearing of her throat, Celestia again prompted Luna. The Princess of Eventide closed her eyes tightly, lit her horn, and ever-so carefully reached out. She began to mutter through clenched teeth, and though he could not clearly hear her words, she seemed to be rebuking herself, with severe admonishments to do what she needed to do without screwing it up.
Well, that last bit was probably what he would be saying, but the idea was similar.
A sliver of silver moon began to peek over the hills, unsure if it was really allowed to come out to play. By inches, it slowly continued, as if it was ready to beat a hasty retreat at the slightest sign of trouble. It was, in all likelihood, the slowest moonrise in the history of Equestria, but Celestia said nothing about the delay.
After what felt like several hours and with a few whimpers of fear, Princess Luna finally finished her task, and the full moon hung heavy and somewhat proudly in the vast field of summer stars. With a smug grin of deep satisfaction, Luna turned to her sister and puffed out her chest.
“How was that, Tia?”
“I could not have done it better myself,” Celestia said with a pleased grin. “Welcome back, Sister.”
Bean leaned back slightly as the bells on Luna jingled with her happy bouncing. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him, but had the Princess grown an inch or two while the moon was rising?
It didn’t matter, he decided. Despite everything that happened over the last forty eight hours, he did have to admit that seeing the Princess of the Night cheering like a schoolfilly made him feel warm inside. For the first time in a thousand years, she had performed her appointed duty, and the glee that flowed from her quickly washed over everypony and brought smiles to their faces.
“HUSBAND!” Luna bellowed at a volume that physically shoved Bean backwards just before she pranced over and tackled him. “We hath done it! Come, let us celebrate this most momentous occasion in our private chambers, where we shall engage in a most glorious rort! Guards! Bring forth the finest vintage that can be obtained from the stores! The swiving shall last all night!”
“What?! Wait!” Bean tried to protest, but it was useless. With a casual flick of her magic, Luna hauled the panicking prince into the air and began to levitate him towards her room. “No! Hold on a minute! This is too much, too fast! I don’t drink! Help! At least let me pick the wine!”
* * ☽ * *
“I wasn’t really going to kill him, you know,” Shining Armor said with a sulking pout.
“I know, but put yourself in his horseshoes,” Cadence replied while she crawled across the Princess De Luxe* sized bed. “For most of the day, you two were at least friendly, and then all of a sudden you’re shouting death threats. You scared him, and he didn’t even do anything wrong.”
*”For all of your Celestia-sized needs!” -Quills and Sofas
—
“I know, I know. I’ll make it up to him, somehow.”
“I’m sure you will, Lieutenant,” Cadence said while crawling over his prone form and giving his cheek a peck.
“So, what happens to us now?”
Cadence snorted hard, which ruffled Shining’s mane. “I don’t know. I hate to say it, but we may have to stop seeing each other.”
Shining rolled over and pulled in his stolen love with his forehooves. “Do you really think that either of us could walk away from each other?”
“No, and that’s what scares me the most about what has happened. Baked Bean will not press any sort of relationship with me, or my aunts, but the palace has eyes and ears everywhere. The tabloids would roast us alive for years if they find out we are still together. It would send your career crashing into the ground in flames.”
“Maybe I should just walk away from the Royal Guard. If it means that I could still have you, somehow—”
“Don’t you even joke about that,” Cadence threatened with a nip to his ear. “You’ve put in so much time and effort, and I know you love it. Don’t throw away your dreams, Shiny. I couldn’t live with myself if you did because of me.”
“You’re right, as always. But that still leaves us right back where we started.”
“We’ll figure something out,” she assured him with a weak smile. “As Auntie Celestia always says, ‘trust in Harmony.’ We have tonight and each other. Let’s let that be enough for now.”
“With you, it is always enough,” Shining cooed while he turned off the lights.
There was a long, dark silence, broken by Cadence’s soft voice. “Shiny, what’s the word for a male courtesan?”
The tickling lasted forever.
My face when this whole plotline:![:derpytongue2:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/derpytongue2.png)
I think you missed all there
9675902![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
I did.
They are the supreme rulers, surely they could make polyamory legal.
Forgive me for doing this but...I don't quite get it. You've told me twice now that Cadance is upset with this and we'll get to see more of her displeasure, thoughts and reactions but...it never seems to come? This chapter, the very chapter after she found out, has Cadance without protest or even a single sign of real emotional distress decide that she's going to love Bean as much as she would have loved Shining and that she is giving up on any relationship with Shining. This whole thing makes it look like Cadance didn't even really care much for Shining and is basically in less than a day willing to devote herself to Bean over him and put him aside without even a single complaint or argument.
Honestly, also, why does Cadance act as if Shining is the villain in this? She treats him as if he's an awful person but is willing to shield Luna from her actions? Instantly gets better along with Celestia? Instantly decides she's going to devote herself to Bean? Why is Shining somehow at fault for this? How come him being angry that the love of his life has just been stolen from him somehow makes him the villain? Like, honestly, Cadance treats him awfully but is bending backwards for Celestia, Luna and Bean as if they matter more to her than Shining.
Honestly; do you just not like Shining? I mean it is obviously okay not to like a character, but it'd be easier to understand if you were just upfront about it because that's how it comes across. Shining is being treated as if he's the villain here, Bean's being treated like the victim even though he literally has more power to kill Shining than Shining has to kill him since he could just ask one of his wives and Cadance doesn't even seem to bat an eye at cutting Shining out of her life in less than a day since meeting Bean. This makes it look like Cadance barely even cares for Shining.
I think perhaps the biggest thing is that the Princess of Love seems to basically not care about it.
9675911
You have a point in paragraph one, I don't even know how you came to the conclusions you reached in paragraphs two and three.
9675919
Paragrah 2: She consents to Celestia's request that they not inform Luna that she has caused Cadance and Shining to have to break up without protest or any ill-feelings or words towards Luna, she reconciles and agrees to do things 100% Celestia's way almost instantly and I don't think I need to explain with Bean since Cadance is literally 100% nothing but kind, supportive and loving to him and has even decided already she intends to love him as she would have loved Shining. By contrast Shining she spends basically the short scene scolding him for a very reasonable and understandable angry outburst.
Paragraph 3: I'm not sure of my idea here but that's why I'm asking, to seek confirmation, because if they do just dislike Shining it'd make a lot of their portrayal and presentation of Shining and Cadance here make sense.
I was hopping more of pet bean that is collard. Still it was funny, looks like Shining will have to court Bean to to get in the action with Candence.
9675928
Story is not rated M... So all things must be implied
9675924
I think your point regarding Cadence's reaction is addressed in how she reacts to Celestia and Bean within the story itself; Celestia knows how to guilt Cadence, intentionally or not, which directly explains why she withheld further argument. She goes on further with Bean and explains that there's no point in acting hastily when they're still in the beginning stages of coming to terms with these changes in circumstances. The final part of the chapter makes it clear that she's not actually interested in giving up on her relationship with Shining Armor. How things will work out remains open, but it's a bit early to say that the tensions are resolved, especially since Irrespective's Cadence has been a very reserved character up to this point, and is keeping her emotions very much under control.
Armand Chase.
...
...
LOL
So…part of the royal courtship, is lavish the mare in bells, put her in shackles and give the husband a leash? Jeez, I say that sound a bit sexist but A, it was probably some traditions of old, where mares need to be more…aggressive to be breed during hard times, and B…who knows maybe it has a different meaning in Equestria, that doesn't make it look like Celestia and Luna…and maybe Cadence like some bizarre and sonorous form of BM.
…unfortunately, that is quite the image you put and…yep, now is in my head. I can't unsee it now.
Huh, I am impressed. I thought Cadance's reaction last chapter was tame mostly because the discussion occured out of focus. But, no, apparently Cadance does just basically not even care to much that she's being told to kick Shining to the curb. She just outright tells Celestia and Shining that she's planning on doing that.
This is going to be a fantastic Princess of Love. "Princess Cadance me and my Marefriend really love each other, but legal rules and political machinations are trying to divide us, what should we do?" "Give in, dump each other," "N-not fight for our love?" "Nope, dump each other immediately,"
That being said considering Cady takes dumping Shiny and loving Bean with seemingly a shrug love clearly doesn't mean much to her to begin with. So much for 'all my thoughts he does consume' sorry Shiny but you are not in luck this time.
That being said I do kinda find Bean acting as if he's the victim here and hiding kinda...pathetic? Like Bean you're literally now the most powerful Stallion in Equestria, you just got handed the Kingdom, a Princely title, three beautiful, gorgeous, incredibly powerful godlike brides and you...act as if you're the one in danger from Shiny? Like seriously stop with your pity party, you got basically given everything anyone could want, not a single person is pushing back against it, all three the Alicorns are 100% supporting you and deciding to love you, it's just pathetic to watch you try to somehow make yourself the victim of this when you're the biggest winner by far.
9675962
Bean is a meek and humble character at heart; he always has been. There is nothing wrong with a character looking at what they've been thrust into and being terrified at the prospects for which they find themselves unworthy of, and unprepared for. If you see power as a prize for indulgence, I question your appreciation for it.
Isn't cadence a half breed so the law probably shouldn't work for her
9675965
Nah what's ridiculous is him acting like the victim. I have no problem him being overwhelmed, but acting as if HE has to fear Shining Armor? As if HE has to fear secret death squads? Not to mention literally everyone involved is going to extreme lengths to appease him, Cadance, Celestia and Luna are bending over backwards to make HIM feel good, to make sure HE doesn't feel even an iota concern and make sure everything works for HIM.
You have to be pretty pathetic to literally have almost everything being devoted to you, circling around you, literally have a Mare who was less than a day ago in a committed relationship explicitly saying out loud she's just gonna give up on it to devote herself to you, and then BEAN acts like he's somehow the victim here who's being threatened or in some way hurt. It has nothing to do with being overwhelmed, its about playing the victim and self-pity when basically the entire world is bending over backwards to make you feel good.
I'd note that Cadance is literally here, in this chapter, just outright saying she'll not only give up on her relationship with Shiny for Bean but literally love Bean like she would have loved Shiny, but Bean isn't even making a single offer to compromise, sacrifice or such to help her or Shiny. Which, honestly, brings me to another point: goodness gracious but everyone involved in this REALLY don't value Shining Armor at all?
Like literally the fact that Shining is just getting absolutely shafted and crushed is practically ignored wholesale by everyone, Bean, Celestia and they're hiding it from Luna so she doesn't do anything either, and Cadance's most reaction is to shrug and go 'welp, it's over, by Shiny, at best you can be my callboy on the side, but I'm gonna devote myself to Bean now,' like seriously? What, is Bean the only Stallion who counts as a person?
9675974
Bean isn't an omniscient character, and has been absent from the majority of the scenes where consideration towards him and his needs have been discussed with the other protagonists. Coming to the realization that the alicorn princesses that he is now wedded to are just as much people in as much as he is, rather than all knowing and unflappable demigods he's seen them as for his whole life, is a shift in perspective that he needs to develop. Yes, he's self-centered right now, but he hasn't caught onto it yet, partly because he's still shocked, and partly because his preconceptions towards the ponies, whose lives he has just become a part of, have not yet been challenged. If this story is anything like the original, he'll get there.
You know, it is really hard to believe that Cadance would be okay with such arrangement. She is Princess of Love after all, it is her talent and her Destiny. If her right to have her Shining Armor is denied I can totally see Cadance trying to find a loophole and failing that even going Nightmare Moon on her Aunts. If undoing marriage means undoing Equestria? Fine. If only way to annul the marriage is to become a widow? Better help Luna with her heirs and prepair poison/some sort of killing spell. Because, as Cadance said "All my thoughts he does consume". So I totally can see her going all yandere on everyone who trying interfere with her love life.
9675978
You don't have to be an omniscient narrator to realize that when you literally luck into three all-powerful, beautiful, wives who rule the entire kingdom and all three go to lengths to explicitly tell you they are 100% devoted to your well-being, happiness and feelings to understand that acting as if a random guy who's wife just left him for you is a threat is ridiculously self-pitying.
Nor do you need to be an omniscient narrator to realize that when you literally just stole a guy's wife from him that he probably is hurting and suffering too, and it isn't just about how you feel when you're literally the guy GAINING something from this.
Now that I look at it more clearly the real reason seems to just be that Bean, Celestia and Cadance don't seem to think Shining's emotional well-being, happiness or desire for love matter at all, only Bean's. I'm guessing Luna will turn out the same though since she doesn't yet know what's happened I can't say for sure. Though with how this fic is going I won't be surprised if when Luna and Twilight find out their reponses are to laugh at Shining, tell him he's a douche and then tell Bean they want to devote themselves completely to him.
9675911
Hey, I love all comments! If I do something wrong, I want to know so I can fix it.
Let me see if I can clarify a bit, but I may need to make some edits.
First, Cadence's apathy. It's pretty much what Bobbles said: it's not that she doesn't care, she's just controlling her emotions very well. With Celestia as a mentor, she would have a good role model on how to do this.
Second, Cadence giving up Shining. I actually like Shining Armor. He's a fun character, and I enjoy writing him. When Cadence says she'll care for Bean, it's more along the lines of a nurse caring for a patient. That bit I may need to rework to reflect the sentiment better.
Third, the request to not mention things to Luna is more a desire to not drag up the fact that she (Luna) forced them to get married. I might need to rework that a bit too. Luna knows she ruined the relationship between the two of them.
Hopefully that helps, but I'll see about clarifying that in the story proper.
9675981
Yes, I caught on that you hate Bean and his attitude and how Shining Armor's thoughts and feelings have been handled in the story the first time you said it.
9675982
Wait so Luna KNOWS that she ruined the relationship between the two? But is still going on as she is? Wow! I wasn't wrong, basically Celestia, Luna and Cadance just think Shining is garbage and they don't even care for him at all, only Bean. Wow this is a depressing story for Shining. I mean I was kinda joking back when I made my comment with him ending up like the 'nice guy' from netori and ntr doujins but, uh, seems not. Man Cadance is awful in this.
9675985
Sure, then you understand why Bean being or not being an omniscient narrator has nothing to do with what I'm saying.
9675988
I believe this isn't a matter of understanding as much as mutual disagreement in opinion.
9675981
Yeah, I think the sour taste that comes from this Chapter is the one-sided concern shown by the characters. I've always had a soft spot for Shining Armor, so not seeing anypony in here really being upset or conflicted on his behalf just hurts. Cadence seems unrealistically subdued, Celestia came off as uncaring and manipulative, and focusing so much on Bean's distress without balancing it out with the other...
I dunno. Maybe the author didn't want to write out the "drama" that would be expected with a situation like this, possibly to avoid cliché, but I think that decision made the story less pleasant to read.
I mean, not gonna drop this story, as I've enjoyed the previous stories about Bean, but if I could give up/down votes on individual chapters, this would get a red thumb while the previous ones get green.
9675993
For sure from my side that's part of it, yeah. Shining has literally just had his whole life upended, torn from him, his happiness and love dashed...and literally Bean, Celestia, Luna and even Cadance seem to not even care? They seem to treat it with all the importance of an afterthought as they rush to make sure Bean is loved.
Seriously hurts in the case of Cadance, princess of love, who comes across like she isn't even motivated to fight for her and Shiny, just instantly more than happy to give up and swap to Bean instead. I really don't get how Cadance can make up with Celestia, promise to make things easier for Luna, bend over backwards for Bean...and then she rakes Shiny over coals for having the gall to be angry that his love just got stolen?
9675997
9675993
These are serious elements and concerns for a life drama, but handling these components within the story, without changing the genre away from comedy, is a difficult proposition.
9675999
Then why does the story contain a subject as serious as a deeply in love couple being forcibly split up? And the female partner in said couple seeming to offer not an iota of resistance to this and literally devote herself more to the new person then her old love? That's literally a serious topic. If the idea was for this to not deal with serious drama then Shining should have just been written out as not existing.
I mean we literally have Cadance saying that Bean's wounds would be the deepest...but not her own love who just had the single most important person and his chance to be with her stolen from him forever?
Or she scolds Shiny and tells him to put himself in Bean's shoes...but, what, she doesn't think about putting herself in Shining's shoes at all? What, is Bean the only person deserving of her empathy and Shining can just go get screwed?
Cadance literally comes across like she thinks Bean's feelings and happiness are the only thing that matters and Shining's emotions matter to her zilch. Even when in a private conversation with him she's apparently unable to empathize with him or commiserate with him but instead spends it scolding him for not being nice enough to Bean.
9676003
It certainly looks like that.
9676003
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Begging_the_question
The plot of this story revolves around a guy accidentally putting himself into a Harem, in a series that primarily thrives on being sappy and silly. I understand wanting to utilize serious dramatic pieces to that end when the opportunity presents itself, but I don't think that's what the author has in mind.
9676008
You see, if autor decides to refrain from using serious dramatic pieces story will look like ntr manga.
I'm finding it very difficult to understand the premise of this story. Or rather, why the premise is being treated with so much gravity by everypony involved.
From what I can tell, the underlying source of conflict is the "unbreakable magic marriage" that Bean and the princesses have found themselves wrapped up in. But marriage is an issue of contract law, and in this case the contract has – from what I can tell – no enforcement mechanism whatsoever. Even if we overlook how the issue of "to undo our marriage would be to undo Equestria" has been hoof-waved away completely, I can't see any particular reason why everyone involved in this is acting as though they're required to treat it seriously.
So Luna/Nightmare Moon declared a binding oath of marriage between the princesses and Baked Bean. So what? What's stopping everypony from just ignoring this and going about their normal lives? The Oath doesn't seem to require anyone to either do anything, nor refrain from anything in particular. Celestia admitted that she basically ignored the fact that she was technically married to "Luna's" husband the last time they were all married, and Cadance seems to be implying (albeit with mixed messages) that she can continue having a relationship with Shining Armor. Is there any reason why Celestia can't just say to Bean, "you're clearly uncomfortable with this, so let's all just pretend it never happened"? Because right now, there doesn't seem to be. Certainly, there doesn't seem to be any impetus for them to go along with it besides a minor scandal with the press. Likewise, there doesn't seem to be any real risk of political fallout; Iron Hoof is long gone, and if there are any nobles left, the implication is that they've been relegated to purely being (modest) social influencers, rather than having actual political power.
The only reason this story's underlying source of conflict seems to be a thing is because everyone thinks it is. At this point I'm honestly expecting Celestia to admit that the entire "Oath" is nothing more than smoke and mirrors that she and Luna made up to make Iron Hoof go away, similar to how Twilight defeated Trixie in Magic Duel (season three, episode five).
9676009
You probably don't mean Nuclear Thermal Rocket, but I doubt anyone's supposed to be emotionally distraught by the progression of this story, either.
9675999
9676003
Yeah, unless the intention is to write a particularly sharp satire, some plots have a drama tax you need to pay. Without a human reaction to things like war, death, or divided love, it just comes off as mean-spirited. And if the target of that mean spirit is something or someone the audience find sympathetic, they're going to have a visceral reaction against it.
There's a couple ways I feel this could have been handled better. Either:
1. Pay the drama tax. Add the genre tag if you need to. This doesn't mean the comedy is canceled out; some of my favorite books have both busted my gut and moved me to tears in back-to-back chapters.
2. Comedic conflict. If a more uniform tone is desired, borrow a page from Wodehouse and Shakespeare. Things don't look like they're turning out well? Show the hatching of a clever plan to make thing right. Preferably multiple incompatible plans that intersect and collide hilariously, but all eventually ends well.
9676015
We may not be "supposed" to have a reaction, but we are. If that's not what the author wanted, then that's a potential problem.
Like I said in my above comment, there are ways this situation could be handled to keep a lighthearted tone, but the situation as it stands is unbalanced.
9675939
I don't think Celestia just guilting her really explains why Cadance doesn't seem to at all mind or resist or even dislike what's happening. It isn't even as if she just tells Bean it's early, she does explicitly say to Celestia she intends to treat Bean like her husband and to care for him like she would have for Shining. She literally, in one sentence, with a single inhalation, just tells Celestia that she's accepting she won't be with Shining and moving on to Bean. Also the final chapter still has her tell Shining that her go to solution is that they don't see each other anymore. That's still to her mind first on the agenda. I also just don't get why, on the topic of love, Cadance seems to just not even try to assert herself or even fight a little bit for her and Shining. It feels like she gives up on Shining almost instantly with barely any complaint and she doesn't seem to care about Shining's feelings at all to me :/
9676038
Honestly, the real answer is probably that the author didn't know how to do so without making the story much more serious and dramatic than intended, so it was brushed over instead of being addressed in a manner that would have been satisfactory to the critics who have been compelled to make their concerns known.
Edit: Wew, didn't expect such a sour response to an honest meta-analysis critique.
9675982
Okay, I'm glad, I don't mean to come across mean and I don't mean to insult, I just wanted to ask, so I'm glad it doesn't bother you, thank you.
I understand Cadance is controlling her emotions but...even when in private with Shining? She literally doesn't show him any empathy? Doesn't share his feelings at all? Also I just find it weird that on the topic of love she just gives up without any resistance. It also just feels a bit weird that she seems to spend more time worrying about Bean, taking care of Bean, trying to make him feel good, but then doesn't seem to care for Shining's feels or show him any kindness at all.
But if you like him why does everyone, even his own paramour, basically act as if his feelings and emotions are irrelevant and they don't care? I mean Cadance is...really, really cold to him. I was...honestly depressed how cold she was to him compared to how attentitive and sympathetic she is to Bean. She tells Shining to put himself in Bean's position but she doesn't even try to put herself in Shining's position, or think about his wounds at all. It all just makes it come across as if Cadance doesn't even really care much for Shining and is being sort of awful to him.
Also if Luna does know I'm surprised she doesn't seem to feel any remorse over it at all. Also why should Luna not feel bad for what she's done to Cadance and Shining but Cadance will go out of her way to make Shining feel bad and scold him? I don't understand this, why does Cadance seem to think everyone involved needs their emotions and feelings respected and protected from harm...except Shining who has literally lost the one thing he cares for most in his life? Why is she so awful to him but completely attentitive to Luna and Bean and completely cooperative with Celestia and Bean? Why is Shining the only person she seems to treat poorly?
9676044
Much like in Waiting for Godot, "critic" is felt to be the worst of names one can call a member of the audience.
On a more general note, I think the best way to interpret red thumbs are as "disagrees" rather than "dislikes". I honestly think it a more civil way of expressing disagreement than what words most people are able to muster when emotions are raw.
9676078
Perhaps, but it's an outlook I don't believe people should harbor. There's nothing shameful about filling the role of a critic; a careful, reasoned evaluation of a story is one of the most valuable services one can offer an author that's looking to hone their craft.
9676097
Signal sent was not signal received. Which, to be fair, is often a problem in text-based communication. If we could have heard your tone of voice, we probably would have heard your respect. But from the words alone, they seemed to imply you thought us entitled highbrows raking a story over the coals while not respecting authorial intent.
Which is not the case, as I tried to point out an alternative approach above to keep the tone light while still keeping in the plot elements as they stand.
Really though, it's not as if Irrespective didn't take time to sympathetically and realistically examine the emotions inherent in this situation. Bean's reaction and attitude read appropriately enough for me. It's just that only Bean seemed to get that privilege in the story, with all the other characters being either bent or shoved aside to make room for that, rather than have equal care put into them.
That kind of OC-centrism is reminiscent of the worst kind of fanfic, which is especially jarring since the previous Bean stories never struck this note with me; they were examples of an OC ship handled well.
9676119
I see your point about OC focused. I'll have to work on that.
9676128
Earth Writer's critique is the one that stands out as most significant to this chapter, and helps bring out the element that concerns me as well. So far, the only character with a complete, detailed, and explored emotional state in this story is Bean, and for the most part, we're seeing more of what we've seen before. Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor, by comparison are much less developed in their states of mind. This is a particularly serious issue for Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor, since they're the characters that bring a novel perspective to the story. The lack of detailed development and stage setting left me feeling a bit like we were just going through the motions in this chapter, and falling a bit short in emotional and comic impact.
9675979
Technically she has an out but it would be as bad as shining giving up being a guard she could renounce her title which would probably turn her back into a pegasus
9676206
I doubt it. Well part with turning into pegasus, not the part about renouncing title. She became alicorn, after which she was crowned as princess. These two things are not connected as far as I know.
Also she always can go with "death do us part" or force Royal Sisters into abolishing that law by manipulating people into demanding that.
9675974
Your overthinking it it's a harem comedy the characters are going to behave differently to play up the comedic value and if u can't accept that then this story is not for you
So, at first, I was really happy, because you put the verbs at the ends of the sentences, and I assume this is Latin simply from how it looks and also that when an author uses an "old phrase" which isn't in English, it's usually going to be Latin.
Then I took a look at the words.
"Ex" is "from," so that's fine. "agit" is the third person singular present form of "ago," which means like 15 different things, one of which is to "act," so it's good.
"praeterito" is an adjective, so it can't be used here as a noun, though if you had a word meaning "experience" then it could be used. "presents" and "presenter" aren't even words in latin.
In the second half of the sentence, "ni" means "not" in an imperative clause, so, assuming that the second verb is imperative, it should be good, since "lest" essentially means "so that not." Unfortunately "deturpet" isn't imperative. Fortunately, it is subjunctive, and is the correct form for its use. So, this section is a purpose clause, and that works well with the sentence it's supposed to mean. Since it's subjunctive, "ni" is replaced with "ne." Although, an issue with "deturpet" is that it means to defile/discredit/disfigure. It feels a bit extreme for simply "spoil." However, the core, literal meaning is similar enough that I won't change it.
"Future" is a real Latin word, and it is a form of the participle of a word, meaning it is an adjective, and as such can modify other words to make them be in the future. However, it is the vocative masculine singular form of the participle. The adjective/participle must agree with the noun it is modifying in these, meaning that it needs to have the same case, gender, and number as the noun, and also because it is an adjective it is supposed to be placed after the noun in the sentence. So, what about the noun, "actione?" Well, that is a real noun, and it does mean "action." However, it is the ablative singular version of a feminine-gendered noun. So, "actione" must be changed to the plural accusative form (since they are the direct object of the clause), which would be "actiones." Of course, "future" must be changed to be feminine, plural, and accusative, so it will be "futuras."
Also, since it's the subjunctive clause, I'm going to insert "ea" into the start of it, because, spoiler, the word I'll be using for "present" is feminine nominative singular, and "ea" is the pronoun for words of that gender, case, and number.
So, to fix it, I'm going to be structuring the sentence to be more like "the present, from the events of the past, acts prudently, lest it spoil future actions"
For words which mean "experience," there are several, but their meanings are very muddy, since they mean it in the sense of, like, skill, practice, rituals. Things like that. So, instead, I'm using "events," since there's a very clear word meaning "events" which is most commonly translated as meaning "things." You may recognize it from "in medias res," a term applied to stories meaning that they start "in the middle of things." Since it's plural and accusative (since it's "from"), we'll be using "res." I realize that it looks like "res" and "res" are the same word, but one of them is nominative plural and the other is accusative plural. Also, since "res" is a feminine accusative plural, "praeterito" is being changed to "praeteritas."
For the word for "present," we'll use "praesentia," since it's a noun which means "present" and is used as the subject (actor) of the sentence. For "prudently," I'll be using an adverb, since it directly modifies the verb. So, "prudenter." Since it's an adverb, and it is neither being used comparatively nor superlatively, it is simply used as-is.
So, here's the sentence: "Praesentia ex res praeteritas prudenter agit, ne ea actiones futuras deturpet."
I spent way too much time, and had way too much fun, doing that.
Anyways, I basically jumped straight to typing this after reading that, so if I see anything else in the chapter I want to talk about, I'll make another comment.
Yeah forcing the alicorn of love into a marriage should make her comically furious.
And then there is also Twilight.......
9676215
Counter-point: the story as it stands already has a degree of emotional seriousness. It's part of Irrespective's style as an author that his fluffy slice of life stories have a meaningful solidity to them, which is why most of us became fans of his previous stories.
In order for this to be "just" a silly harem story, all the characters would have to behave for comedic effect at every story point. If Bean's emotional state was as cavalierly dealt with as everyone else, then the story would be balanced, and I could enjoy it without thought.
But that's not really where this author excels, and I was looking forward to his own stylistic take on it. That's why I'm following this story, and why I'm currently disappointed in the way it's going. It's too serious to be pure silly fun, but too unbalanced and unpolished compared to previous work from this author that made me a fan in the first place.
9676247![:yay:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/yay.png)
I take that as a personal challenge to improve, and thank you. Your comments are exactly why I say I would die for them.