Twilight Sparkle vs Barbara, Queen of the Communists

by Greenback

Chapter 3: The Best Things Are Always Located In The Dungeon

George was wasted as he fell towards America. Specifically, Arizona.

“Hold on!” Twilight shouted at Tempest. “This is going to be a lot harder to resist than anything you can imagine!”

“I can imagine your head displayed aboard a sunken ship.”

Twilight screamed.

George - who was now dead - fell into a dangerous city, his landing broken by a giant statue of a big dog. It crumbled and everyone fell onto the ground.

“Tempest!” Twilight got off the ground. “Are you still searching for your true identity?!”

Tempest got to her favorite hooves. They were voted the best weapon in her yearbook, with special attention given to the amount of damage dealt to ponies who have good looks.

“No,” Tempest said. “I am looking for the last bomb and my book about giving lots of stuff back to the public after witnessing firsthand the horrors of Waterloo.”

“We need to find the last bomb. But where is it?”

“The Town of Timber!” Tempest said. “It has to be there!”

Twilight and Tempest ran out of the city and into the desert. It was very busy, as a missile launcher was erasing all the nearby animals from history.

“That launcher!” Twilight said. “It can find the Town of Timber!”

“But how?”

“We just have to offer it a lesson about wooing vikings.”

Hurrying over, Twilight told the missile launcher how to woo vikings. It was so impressed that it agreed to share a special ability with the two ponies: How to avoid eating weapons. When the lesson was given, the launcher turned towards the sky.

“Lets go!” Twilight said.

“But how do we make sure we can make it back?”

“We won't.”

Wrapping her legs around Tempest's castle, Twilight waited until Tempest got to the top of the castle's tower and laughed as Twilight's wings beat, carrying them all up into the heavens.

***

Tempest's castle rose higher into the sky. It was very valuable; its walls were all made of love. Specifically, love for one's accountant.

“How much longer must we go?” Tempest yelled to Twilight.

“Not much longer!” Twilight yelled. “We will be there in a few minutes.”

A few minutes later, and the castle burst through the Rainbow of Chaos and emerged before The Town of Timber. It was a great mansion made out of plastic.

“Get your gun ready, Tempest!” Twilight shouted, pointing at a towel hanging from the mansion's 3rd door. “The last bomb is in the Dungeon of Love!"

“Too bad you will never judge your feet!” a voice cried out.

A door opened on the mansion's upper level. Accompanied by her loyal communist ladies, Barbara walked onto the balcony and laughed. “I am Barbara, Queen of the Communists, and you will regret your time with the Cornish water princess!”

“Barbara!” Twilight yelled. “We are here to disarm your last bomb and laugh at your bonnet!”

Twilight and Tempest's hooves ran away.

“Ha ha!” Barbara said. “How will you disarm my bombs now?!”

Twilight and Tempest didn't answer, because they were erased from history.

Comments

[Makuta]

Holy shit! That plot twist/ending/cliffhanger is perhaps the most unexpected, impact-full and emotional one that I ever read! I went from laughing my ass of to quietly staring and rereading the last sentence over and over again in disbelief!

[Greenback]

9530574
Yeah, that caught me by surprise, too. When the text generator suggested it, I thought, "Huh... well, let's see where this goes."

[PresentPerfect]

Things being erased from history is the best running gag. XD

[AstralMouse]

Tempest got to her favorite hooves.

This is fantastic.