Well the writing flows much better in this story this end you seem have a much better grasp of the characterization of the ponies around him in a natural way and I do find looking back to the human world interesting, I wonder what relevance it will have for Coffee later down the road. Coffee does come off as a little pretentious at times I wonder how this will affect his interactions with others. I am also glade that you are putting some attention to the family that is hosting him and that he is pitching in to help for new ideas to save the tea café/shop. The writing is still a bit bland most of the times, but it's still leagues better then before, keep it up.
Hmm... I wonder how those back in the new world are gonna come into play later down the line. Another great chapter, and hopefully there shall be many more to come. Anyways, PRUSSIAN GLORY!!!
I’m really sorry if you liked this story, and want to continue reading it. But, I have no confidence in making progress. Sure, this was a nice practice run for me to try out writing, but I just lack the courage and motivation to keep myself doing it.
Someday, maybe, I’ll get back to it; when I can say that “I’m considerably better than when I first started this thing.” For now, I’m working on another story. Something that’ll hopefully be a tad bit more interesting. Something that I have more confidence in writing.
Words don’t naturally come to me, so forgive my flow. That’s just what happens when you write something in your second language. But hey, I’m absolutely trying my best to entertain you guys :)
9852429 You’re somewhat close, actually. It’s Indonesian, and it’s a lot more similar than what you’d expect. Also, thanks for the comments! I always appreciate a pat on the back from time to time.
Comment posted by jonboss86 deleted Mar 28th, 2020
Well the writing flows much better in this story this end you seem have a much better grasp of the characterization of the ponies around him in a natural way and I do find looking back to the human world interesting, I wonder what relevance it will have for Coffee later down the road. Coffee does come off as a little pretentious at times I wonder how this will affect his interactions with others. I am also glade that you are putting some attention to the family that is hosting him and that he is pitching in to help for new ideas to save the tea café/shop. The writing is still a bit bland most of the times, but it's still leagues better then before, keep it up.
More please
Hmm... I wonder how those back in the new world are gonna come into play later down the line. Another great chapter, and hopefully there shall be many more to come. Anyways, PRUSSIAN GLORY!!!
Omg he actually Hiatus omg well i guest no prussian this month
9777299
That was not at all intentional. Now that I’ve seen it, it’s actually better than what I had intended it to be, though.
9777980
When you gonna update
9778039
I don’t think I’ll be continuing this story. Maybe some day I’ll get back to it, but right now I have one or two other stories in the works.
9778126
I can now officially say that I’ve gone far in life.
9779217
God damn it i love prusian story why discontinue?
9781391
I’m really sorry if you liked this story, and want to continue reading it. But, I have no confidence in making progress. Sure, this was a nice practice run for me to try out writing, but I just lack the courage and motivation to keep myself doing it.
Someday, maybe, I’ll get back to it; when I can say that “I’m considerably better than when I first started this thing.” For now, I’m working on another story. Something that’ll hopefully be a tad bit more interesting. Something that I have more confidence in writing.
Words don’t naturally come to me, so forgive my flow. That’s just what happens when you write something in your second language. But hey, I’m absolutely trying my best to entertain you guys :)
9830846
Oh men alright then i just like prussian story
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/415668/coffee-and-gunpowder-review
Here have a review.
9830846
I imagine your native lauganuge is german?;) love it. And Prussia. And Germany.
9830846
Your sentence flow was a bit awkward but dont let that affect your confidence. You did will and had a great idea.
9852429
You’re somewhat close, actually. It’s Indonesian, and it’s a lot more similar than what you’d expect. Also, thanks for the comments! I always appreciate a pat on the back from time to time.