A relief for the eyes

by Twilight Star

Accident

Princess Luna waited patiently for Twilight Sparkle at the entrance to the garden of Canterlot Castle. She knew that Twilight Sparkle would arrive in a few seconds, because she was known to arrive minutes before the scheduled time. As she waited for Twilight to arrive, she was lost in her own thoughts.

One of the main reasons she invited her, aside from spending time together, was because she wanted to confess what she felt about Twilight. Well, spending time with Twilight Sparkle was also one of the reasons, but the main thing was to confess her feelings. But that wouldn’t mean that she would leave after confessing, she would want after confessing to continue in the garden with her new marefriend. After all, what kind of pony would leave his marefriend in the corner after confessing her love? Well she wasn't , and would never be that kind of marefriend.

Twilight Sparkle had helped her on Nightmare Night, Twilight Sparkle was determined to help her there even if no pony wanted. After Nightmare Night was over, her only thoughts were to spend more time with her. Her sister, Princess Celestia, had told her that she should read the letters that Twilight Sparkle regularly sent to pass the time if she was bored. Each letter she read, she felt very much like Twilight Sparkle, but the letter that Twilight Sparkle had sent after that Nightmare Night, she felt very much like Twilight Sparkle, because they were both learning about friendship. Her sister had even told Luna that Twilight Sparkle would stay up late into the night, sometimes to study, read, or else to stand on her balcony with a telescope watching the stars drawing the constellations in her notebook. After Celestia said that Twilight Sparkle stayed up late, she felt appreciated, because there was a pony, who at least stayed up in her nights. After Telling her that Twilight Sparkle was waking up during her night, she and Twilight, spent the night on the balcony of Oka's tree Library together: talking, watching the stars. well, she also had her royal duties which were to raise and lift the moon, and protect nightmare ponies. usually, now, as it was about dusk, Twilight Sparkle always saw Luna raise the moon on her balcony.

Then, she heard sounds of running hooves and a distant voice which was music to her ears, and this made a smile appear on her face.

“I’ve arrived princess", said Twilight Sparkle as she ran to Luna with a smile on her face. When she reached Luna, she bowed to her with her eyes closed.

“Thou does not have to be formal with us, I mean, with me, Twilight. And please, Just Luna", said Luna said with a smile on her face.

Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes, then got up and looked at Luna, “sorry", said Twilight Sparkle while a shy smile and a pink blush appeared on her cheeks.

“No need to apologize, Twilight”, said Luna with the smile on her face.

“So, let’s go?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“Let’s go,” Luna answered still smiling , while they entered the gardens of Canterlot. Twilight stared at the garden with admiration as if it were her first time in her garden, which in her case, was true.

---

Luna and Twilight Sparkle were walking in the castle garden while they watched everything: The trees, the flowers, the animals that were in the garden. Twilight Sparkle was looking and admiring everything the garden had. Twilight Sparkle was feeling Flurtteshy herself in this garden. Flurttershy had told her about the gardens of Canterlot Castle when she spent the night in the garden at the great galloping gala, which unfortunately was a disaster.Flurtteshy had contacted her about her night at the galloping ball. She had told Twilight that the animals in the garden were running away from her, and that made her get in shape, more or less, yandere.Well, it was not really yandere, but it looked very much like a yandere. But Luna was more looking at Twilight Sparkle than at the garden itself. She had a smile on her face as she watched Twilight's happy expression on her face. One of the main reasons she had invited her was for her to confess what she felt for Twilight. She then decided to take advantage now to confess what she felt, since now there was just her and Twilight Sparkle in the garden and nopony else. Because she knew that if there were more ponies besides her and Twilight Sparkle, she wouldn't be able to do anything, but stutter and tremble her nerves.

“Twilight”, began Luna still looking in Twilight Sparkle.

“Yes, Luna?” asked Twilight Sparkle now looking at Luna as she and Luna kept walking in the garden.

A blush appeared on Luna as she continued, but she was looking at the floor now, shyly. She was nervous and shy at the same time. She was afraid of Twilight Sparkle to reject her and avoid her forever. After all, Twilight Sparkle was her only friend. “I ... I’d like to ...” But her speech was cut when Twilight Sparkle suddenly hit her face into a tree in the garden, which she hadn’t seen, then she screamed because of the impact and had fallen to the ground, screaming.

“Twilight!” Luna shouted alarmed and worried now looking at Twilight Sparkle, who was still on the ground.

Twilight Sparkle was lying on her stomach with her two hooves covering her eyes closed, which was coming out blood, while she moaned in pain with her eyes yet closed. Twilight Sparkle struggled on the ground, shaking her head with her hooves still with blood dripping from her eyes.

Twilight Sparkle struggled on the ground, shaking her head with her hooves still with blood dripping from her eyes.

Luna was in shock, paralyzed. Seeing Twilight Sparkle hurt and in pain, it broke her heart. She shouldn't be just looking at her friend in pain, she must take action before Twilight Sparkle gets more hurt, and she knew full well what to do.

“I’m going to take you to the Ponyville hospital. Don’t worry!” She put Twilight on her back with her magic. Seeing that Twilight was safe, she flew quickly, but not so fast, so the unicorn would not fall from her back. she really could not believe it, when she was about to confess to Twilight Sparkle her feelings, she had hurt herself. How could your meeting have gone so wrong?

Author's Note:

I have an account on Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/vi12245
The Background in the Fan Art belong to Shadowwolf: https://www.deviantart.com/shadowwolf/art/Canterlot-Gardens-Background-604878264

Comments

[Umbra Animo]

Um i think the description needs a editor. Twilight’s eyes were bursed and were wearing scarfs?

[TheMysteryMuffin]

Consider getting an editor for this, otherwise it seems a very promising story.

[Lore Horse]

The story does look good. I agree that an editor would be helpful but I do have a question. Why would Luna take Twilight to the ponyville hospital several miles away when she is in canterlot? Wouldn't there be a hospital in the city or even a royal physician in the castle?

[BlazeNekoFox]

Ponyville hospital? why go all the way there, Canterlot would have a hospital and it's closer, and i would believe that the castle would have medical chambers, for the Royal guards
i am enjoying this X3

[BronyBlazeFire]

Hey there. Very promising start.
But as is stated by the others. An editor is needed. Untill you find someone I recommend reading your own work to your self out loud. It will help you find places where you repeat or where you are not clear. It also helps with your pacing and flow.

Use more description is my advice in general. Dont tell us they are in the garden. Show us the garden. An author is a painter of words.

They walked in the dark garden at night.
Vs
The two leisurely strolled along the dirt path. The silver light of the moon making the shadows dance amung the resting flower beds.

See? Same thing. One just paints a picture a little better.

Same goes for the characters. Dont tell us their emotions. Show us how they feel.

Luna stood in shock, paralized.
Vs
The sharp shock bolted through Luna rooting her in place.

See?

Just my advice though.

[Chris Russell]

you have two of the same line their struggled on the ground, shaking her head with her hooves still with blood dripping from her eyes.

Twilight Sparkle struggled on the ground, shaking her head with her hooves still with blood dripping from her eyes.

[Twilight Star]

9733315
Thanks for inform me

[DarkSnowGaming]

“I’m going to take you to the Ponyville hospital. Don’t worry!” She put Twilight on her back with her magic. Seeing that Twilight was safe, she flew quickly, but not so fast, so the unicorn would not fall from her back. she really could not believe it, when she was about to confess to Twilight Sparkle her feelings, she had hurt herself. How could your meeting have gone so wrong?

Here's here's a better idea, why not take her to Canterlot Hospital? Y'know, since it's closer!?