While enough new stuff happens for this to feel like a chapter, must I admit that I think that it would work better if combined with the earlier one for a better plot flow. The last chapter does even end with a name suggestion, and this one start with one, so the plot have clearly not moved far between the two chapters. Looking at how this chapter end, and comparing it to the last one, does this ones end feel more like a proper beginning to Jackpots character arc as well. I hope that you get what I am trying to say, its been a long day at work by now and by now am I not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.
Nitpicks: " still good couple feet away from where me and my little friend were." Lacking an a here. "The sickly yellow earth pony mare yelling at the deep red brown stallion" English is weird, and since you haven't described the ponies should you use "a" instead of "the" "her attack not coming even close to coming in contact with me. " could easily be shortened to "coming close" for a smoother sentence structure "The yellow mare looked down at her comrade before looking up at me" You are missing a space before this line. " Instead I heard a skid below me - and realized that the mare had slid below me" repetition is never a good thing in literature, so changing one of the words would improve the structure "WHAM" I would suggest to make the text bold, while capital letters have a good impact does bold letters have an even bigger impact. " dropping down into a pile of old trash cans with delightful clangs" I would put "a series of" in here
While enough new stuff happens for this to feel like a chapter, must I admit that I think that it would work better if combined with the earlier one for a better plot flow. The last chapter does even end with a name suggestion, and this one start with one, so the plot have clearly not moved far between the two chapters. Looking at how this chapter end, and comparing it to the last one, does this ones end feel more like a proper beginning to Jackpots character arc as well. I hope that you get what I am trying to say, its been a long day at work by now and by now am I not the sharpest spoon in the drawer.
Nitpicks:
" still good couple feet away from where me and my little friend were." Lacking an a here.
"The sickly yellow earth pony mare yelling at the deep red brown stallion" English is weird, and since you haven't described the ponies should you use "a" instead of "the"
"her attack not coming even close to coming in contact with me. " could easily be shortened to "coming close" for a smoother sentence structure
"The yellow mare looked down at her comrade before looking up at me" You are missing a space before this line.
" Instead I heard a skid below me - and realized that the mare had slid below me" repetition is never a good thing in literature, so changing one of the words would improve the structure
"WHAM" I would suggest to make the text bold, while capital letters have a good impact does bold letters have an even bigger impact.
" dropping down into a pile of old trash cans with delightful clangs" I would put "a series of" in here