Fables From Equestria

by Shingo

Business Deal

Fancy Pants, the most important pony in Canterlot. How would one define importance though? If it were in terms of wealth, then yes, Fancy Pants would indeed be the most important in Canterlot, possibly the whole country. Many knew him as a business pony, an entrepreneur, a socialite, a philanthropist, and a historian. In Canterlot alone, he owned three different museums. Each one dedicated to ancient artifacts and history coming from each of the three sub races of pony kind. All of them held an innumerable number of relics from ages long gone. What most didn’t know is that Fancy Pants collected those relics himself. The unicorn was an adventurer at heart. Whenever one of the archaeologists he employed informed him of a new find, he would drop everything to go searching for it. Both he and a pony who everypony assumed was his special somepony, returned to their home from such an adventure. The two of them were carrying boxes and sacks of treasure. A pleased smile was on Fancy Pant’s face as he set everything down in his study.

“It’s good to be home,” he said. He sat on a couch and stretched himself. Popping sounds could be heard from his spine as well as a nearby fireplace. “Ooh, I may be getting a little old for this.”

“Perhaps you should stop,” a female voice said. Fancy Pants looked up to find a white unicorn mare with a long pink mane and tail. She was telekinetically holding two glasses of red wine. “You’ll run yourself ragged. Try focusing on your businesses, it’s safer.” The elder unicorn flashed her a cocky smile as he accepted a glass.

“Safer is just another way to say less fun,” he laughed. “And you’re suggesting that I give up the adventure? Surely you jest, Fleur. Besides, if I wasn’t a treasure hunter, things like Osmium’s Crown.” He pulled an osmium crown with black tourmalines embedded in it. “Would not be unearthed until generations from how.” Fleur giggled.

“You have too much faith in your luck,” she said.

“I don’t have luck,” he retorted. “I have intelligence.” Fleur raised her glass. A warm smile was on her face.

“To our successful expedition,” she began. “And to all those who will gain more than they can imagine from it.” Fancy Pants pushed his glass to hers. The smile on Fleur’s face grew. And after this drink, that will be truer for me than it is for every other pony. She closed her eyes and raised the glass to her lips. After a single sip, she looked to Fancy Pants. He still had the glass in front of him.

“Not going to drink?” she asked. He shook his head.

“Oh I will, but wine isn’t meant to be enjoyed on its own,” he began. The glass was held to his eyes and swirled. “It’s meant to be examined. I believe this is a malbec, and its colour is marvelous. It’s deep but light makes it seem much younger than it already is.” The glass was brought to his stout. He breathed in the wine.

“And the smell,” he continued with his eyes closed. “It’s wonderful. It smells of plums, of berries, and I believe…” The contents of the glass were thrown in to the fireplace. For a brief moment the fire inside grew and glowed blue. A coy smile appeared on Fancy Pant’s face. “Of poison.” Fleur blanched. She dropped her glass and ran for the exit. The sitting unicorn lit up his horn, the doors in the study closed before Fleur could reach them. She turned around to him.

“How did you know?” The elder unicorn opened his eyes.

“Did you really think I’d fall for that?” he asked. “Oh Fleur, I thought you’d be more creative! Why go with something so cliché?”

“Can’t go wrong with the classics,” she answered. A chuckle came from Fancy Pants.

“Fair enough,” he got off the couch and approached the trapped mare. “And to answer your question, I hear things. Many ponies in the elite have had their resources taken from them. In all of those accounts, a certain unicorn mare was the single connecting factor. Every pony knows, or at least believes, that a business pony’s significant other takes what’s left from said business pony when they reach ruin.”

“How did you connect that to me?”

“Come now, Fleur,” he said. Fancy Pants stopped directly in front of her. “I’ve told you before: I’ve gotten to where I am by being smarter than the smarties, and tougher than the toughies. Unlike others, I paid attention to certain aspects of these mares. They all had the exact same facial structure and colour of eyes. I highly doubt that a mare birthed thirteen identical ponies. So the only logical option was that they were the same pony. I’m a little surprised that you’ve decided to do away with me. You didn’t do it with the others, so why me?” Fleur smiled.

“Because I’ve seen firsthand that you truly embody what it means to be a survivor,” she said. “It seems that I have been caught. I assume I’m off to some dungeon now?”

“Admittedly, this has been fun, but I’m afraid that our current relationship must end.”

“I can’t say that I’m disappointed. I’m glad to have been bested by the most important pony in…”

“How would you like a job?” he asked.

Fleur blinked. “Excuse me?” A child like smile appeared on Fancy Pant’s face.

“You’re crafty. I like that,” he explained. “Not only that, but you’ve shown to have the drive that was once in those in the elite. You could be a very powerful enemy, or a welcome ally. I’d prefer if you were the latter.” Fleur took in his offer. Theoretically, she could make more by working with Fancy Pants. Alternatively, the thrill would eventually disappear.

“What does this job entail?” she asked.

“Exactly the same thing that we’ve been doing,” Fleur cocked her head in confusion. “The only difference is that you’ll be accompanying me on every treasure hunt, and you will be my head advisor for all of my business affairs. So, Miss Fleur-de-Lis, do we have a deal?” One of Fancy Pant’s forelegs was extended. The pony in front of him shook it. Both of them had smiles on their faces.

“A little word of warning,” Fleur said. “If something better comes along, I will take that opportunity. And when that happens, we may go against each other.”

“Then that’ll be an interesting day,” he answered. An orange glow came from Fancy’s horn. From the study’s desk, a glass of white wine and two glasses were pulled out. The bottle was opened and its contents were poured into the glasses. “Let’s have a proper toast. Shall we?” One of the glasses was enveloped in a pink glow. Both of the glasses clinked together, and both were raised to the unicorns’ lips.