• Published 15th Dec 2018
  • 3,557 Views, 91 Comments

Tales of the Ponyville Blacksmith - Parodyman64



Well, I can't exactly say things have ever been 'normal' here in Ponyville, but it got just a little bit weirder after he showed up.

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Brown

The room was filled with a gentle whirring as the white unicorn carefully moved the cloth along the sewing machine. She huffed lightly, soft bags under her eyes as she focused on making minute adjustments to the dress she was stitching together.

She hadn’t been getting a lot of sleep. She’d gotten a little too ambitious and taken on too many orders the week prior. Now she was a day behind and cutting into her beauty sleep in order to get everything done on time. She took pressure off the pedal and the machine came to a stop as she yawned widely. As her mouth clicked shut, the machine came to life again. Fortunately she had budgeted her time properly, and, as tiring as it was, she would have everything done by the deadline.

Everything was under control.

There was a sharp twang followed by the clinks and clanks of something falling to pieces inside her sewing machine.

Rarity’s eyes widened in horror as her purple mane frazzled. “No. No no no no no,” She frantically applied pressure to the pedal and was met with a crunching sound that made her immediately stop. “Nononononononono,” In growing desperation, Rarity picked up the sewing machine and shook it, the rattle of broken parts causing her heart to sink further.

Rarity sat down, her breathing becoming rapid. “No no no. What am I going to do?” She looked out at the rest of her workroom. “All these dresses! I don’t-! Time! I- I-” Beginning to hyperventilate, Rarity stumbled over to her red couch and flopped on top of it, trying to get her breathing under control.

She needed to calm down and focus; panicking would get her nowhere. Rarity took a deep breath. What were her options? She couldn’t sew with a standard needle and thread, there were too many orders, which meant she needed to get her sewing machine fixed.

Rarity let out a sigh, her breathing evening out as she stood up to fetch her saddlebags. She just had to go to Tinker Tool’s machine shop. She did repairs. She could fix her sewing machine. So long as the machine shop was open, everything would be fine.


The machine shop wasn’t open. This wasn’t all that uncommon; Ponyville was an odd place to set up a machine shop after all. There weren’t many customers, and Tinker often took up odd jobs around town whenever business was slow.

Of course, none of this helped out Rarity in any way.

She fought the urge to panic. This was a problem. Tinker would likely be out all day, so it was either try to track her down, or find somepony else to help. But, who else could she go to? There was Time Turner. He was good with odd inventions, but there was an equal chance he would just make things worse. Was there any other option besides spending half the day trying to track down an elusive pegasus?

Rarity sighed. There was somepony she could ask for help.

Or rather, someone.

Rarity turned to look down the street in the direction of Parody’s workshop. He would likely be able to help. He had some advanced technology that she was all too familiar with, so a simple sewing machine wouldn’t be too hard to figure out. She just wasn’t sure she was willing to talk to him yet, reluctant to turn to him for any kind of help after the “help” she got last week. But, she really didn’t have a choice, did she? Sighing, Rarity did her best to muster up the patience she would surely need when talking to Parody, before taking off down the road.

As she approached Parody’s house, Rarity’s ear flicked as she noticed the lack of noise coming from the building. Odd, usually he was up and working at this time of the day. Was he out too? Rarity felt her heart sink. She quickened her pace to the front door and knocked.

“Be there in a minute!” Parody’s voice called out from the second floor, calming Rarity down. She settled in place and waited patiently as she listened to him walk down the stairs and approach the door. It swung open, “Oh, ‘sup Rarity?” Parody leaned against the doorframe, a smile on his face, “Been a while. Honestly didn’t expect to see you this soon.”

“Yes, well, I’m afraid I have to ask-” Rarity blinked, before furrowing her brow, “Why is your hair red?”

His cheerful expression melted into a frustrated frown. “Ugh. It’s supposed to be brown.”

“I know that. It’s not, though.”

“I spent all morning trying to make it brown.”

“Then you failed spectacularly, because that is absolutely red.”

Parody hunched forward and sighed. “Alright, look, I couldn’t find brown, okay? I had to make do.”

Rarity blinked as a thought clicked. “Parody, wasn’t your hair already brown? I thought that was its natural color.”

Parody froze for a moment, before throwing his hands in the air. “Wow! What a waste of my morning! Gagh!” He paced around in a small circle before returning to the door. “Well, that’s how my day is going. How ‘bout you?”

“Not much better I’m afraid.”

“Yeah, I wanted to ask about that. I thought you said none of your orders needed any metalworking, did someone change their mind?”

“No,” Rarity shook her head and levitated her sewing machine out of her saddlebags. “I’m afraid my sewing machine broke.”

“Well, that probably makes sewing difficult.”

“Yes it does.” Rarity looked up at Parody and passed him the machine. “Will you be able to fix it?”

Parody reached out and took the sewing machine, shaking it side-to-side to hear the rattling parts. “Yeah, I’ll bump a few things back, take care of this now.”

Rarity shook her head. “Oh, no, I couldn’t ask you to put aside somepony else for me.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, well, Cherry Berry’s livelihood doesn’t depend on her getting a new propeller. I think.” He looked off the side and muttered, “Wait, what even is her job?” before shaking his head, “I’ll ask later.” He turned back to Rarity. “Anyway, I should have this done in like, an hour, so if you have anything you need to do, or just wanna take a break from working yourself to death… Certainly look like you could use a nap.”

Rarity smiled. “Thank you, Parody.”

He waved her off, “Yeah, no problem,” before turning and going inside.

As the door clicked shut, Rarity turned around and trotted off, thinking about what she was going to do for an hour. As tempting as it was, there probably wasn’t enough time for a nap. After giving it some thought, she decided to go and browse at the market, and maybe catch up with a few friends.


The market was surprisingly empty today, Rarity noted as she idly browsed a few stalls she passed by. There wasn’t anything she really needed, it was just fun to look. Her eyes glanced over the crowd of familiar faces before stopping on Applejack, who was at her stall with another pony. As Rarity approached, the other pony finished her business and left.

“Hello, Applejack.” Rarity walked around the side of the stall so as to not block any customers.

Applejack nodded her head. “Howdy there, Rarity. Been a few days, didja finish all them dresses?”

Rarity shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. My sewing machine broke this morning.”

“It broke?” Applejack looked concerned at Rarity’s nod. “Shoot, Sugarcube, are ya gonna be able to get everythin’ done?”

Rarity nodded and gave Applejack a smile. “I should be fine. I have Parody fixing it for me. Speaking of which, he should be done soon.”

Applejack shifted on her hooves. “Oh, okay.”

Rarity’s ear flicked as she noticed Applejack’s change in tone. She tilted her head, “Applejack, are you alright? What’s wrong?”

Her face twitched, “Nothin’.”

Rarity’s brow furrowed at the obvious lie. “Applejack-”

Applejack held out a hoof to stop Rarity, before turning to face an approaching pony. “Howdy there, Bon Bon.”

Bon Bon nodded as she reached the stand. “Hello, Applejack.” She shifted in place to readjust the heavy, grocery-laden saddlebags that adorned her back.

“What can Ah do ya for?”

Bon Bon eyed up the cart. “I’m looking to buy half a bushel of apples.”

Applejack nodded and started to maneuver a basket of apples onto the stand. “Sure thing, Sucarcube! I can getcha half a bushel of apples for seventeen bits.”

Bon Bon smiled, “Thank you, Applejack,” and turned to retrieve the bits from her saddlebags.

“No problem!” Applejack walked around the stand to help Bon Bon load the apples into her bags. “Say, what’s gotcha out and about anyway? Ain’t yer store suppose’ to be open right ‘bout now?”

“It is. As it turns out, Lyra didn’t go grocery shopping this week, which means I have to.”

Rarity tilted her head. “Do you know what kept her?”

Bon Bon shook her head as she loaded the last apple. “All I know is that it’s another silly project that she’s gotten really invested in.”

“How invested?”

“Invested enough that she skips her chores and forgets to eat if I don’t remind her.” Bon Bon smiled lightly. “What would she do without me?”

“Prob’ly starve.” Applejack walked back around her stall.

Bon Bon started laughing, while Rarity tittered to herself. She could understand Lyra, having had moments where she was just as invested in a project. Just this last week she’d had to cut back on sleep and eat lightly just to catch up.

Applejack shook her head, smiling lightly. “Whelp that should be everythin’. Ya got it all?”

Bon Bon nodded. “Yes. Thank you, Applejack.” She turned and continued down the line of stalls.

Rarity watched as Bon Bon trotted up to another stall before turning to the pony beside her. “So, Applejack, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Applejack’s face twitched, her smile dropping as she looked away. “There’s nothin’ wrong.”

Rarity shook her head. “Applejack, Darling, you’re a terrible liar. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. Is it Parody?”

Applejack was quiet for a minute. “… Ah don’t like ‘im.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow slightly. “May I ask why?”

Silence.

“Is it because of what happened at his ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party? Because he apologized for that.”

Applejack snorted, “Weren’t much of an apology if ya ask me.”

“None the less, Pinkie forgave him. It isn’t our place to hold a grudge for her.”

Applejack shook her head. “That ain’t why I don’t like ‘im.”

“Is it because of what’s been going on between him and Dash?”

“Naw, Dash ain’t exactly innocent in all that. She picks just as many fights as he does.”

Rarity nodded, “Yes, both of their attitudes could certainly use an adjustment. As much as I understand his frustration, there’s no reason to let their feud go on as long as it has.” She shook her head. “So if that’s not what’s bothering you, then what is?” Rarity pondered for a moment. “Is it because he sided with Strawberry Sunrise?”

Applejack shot Rarity a glare. “Ah ain’t that petty. ‘Sides, unlike Miss Sunrise, he don’t actually hate apples.” She sighed and shook her head. “Ah just don’t trust ‘im; He don’t feel right.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Hold on,” Applejack turned to smile at an approaching pink pony. “Howdy, Cherry Berry! Ya sure seem like yer in a good mood!”

Rarity turned to watch Cherry trot up to the stall, positively beaming.

Cherry nodded. “Yep! My new propeller should be done now, so I’m getting some supplies for my flight this afternoon.”

Yeah, well, Cherry Berry’s livelihood doesn’t depend on her getting a new propeller. I think.

Rarity sucked in a breath through her teeth as she winced, hoping that Cherry wouldn’t notice her reaction.

She did.

“What’s wrong?”

Rarity’s face pulled back into a sheepish look. “You might need to expect a delay on that.”

Cherry’s smile dropped. “… What?”

“Parody bumped you back on the schedule.”

Cherry Berry’s flat expression slowly contorted into fury. Eyes twitching, she whirled around and stomped off in the direction of Parody’s workshop.

“Oops,” Rarity lowered her head, “I’ll have to apologize for that later.”

“To Cherry or Parody?”

“Probably both of them.” Rarity sighed, before turning to Applejack. “So, you were saying something about Parody not feeling right?”

Applejack pursed her lips, trying to find the right words. “He’s… uncomfortable. Somethin’ ‘bout ‘im just feels wrong. Off somehow.”

A small group of foals starting running through the market, laughing and playing.

“Off how?”

Applejack shook her head. “Ah don’t know. He just feels off.”

Rarity hums to herself. “Well, I suppose I can’t blame you. Parody can be… difficult to work with.” Two fillies break off from the group of foals, stopping to listen. “He’s uncouth, childish, and requires a great deal of patience. But… he is good at what he does.”

“Bein’ an idjit?”

Rarity tittered, “Well, we’ll just say he has many talents and leave it at that.”

They start to laugh, only to get cut off by a small voice.

“Why are grownups so mean?!”

They turned to see Ruby Pinch and Dinky Hooves glaring up at them.

Rarity gave a confused look. “What?”

Ruby stomped her hoof. “You grownups are always making fun of Parody and saying mean things about him! I’ve never heard him make fun of you!”

Applejack leaned back and shared a glace with Rarity. “Uh…”

Dinky chimed in, “What did he ever do to you?!”

Rarity winced. “Well, it’s just the way he behaves-”

Ruby stomped her hoof again. “Well I think he’s nice!”

Dinky hopped forward slightly. “Yeah! He’s friends with my mom! And he helps look after me when mom has to go on long trips!”

“Why do you get to say such mean things about him?!”

“I… uh…” Rarity faltered, stumbling for words as she looked around at the attention they were drawing from the rest of the market.

Applejack lowered her head, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. “Shoot, girls, ya’ll are right. Jus’ ‘cause he makes me uncomfortable don’t mean I get to make fun of ‘im.”

Rarity sighed. “No, no it doesn’t. I guess it’s just something else I’ll have to apologize for.”

“Ah reckon yer right.” Applejack turned to Ruby and Dinky. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Dinky smiled. “It’s okay. Mommy always said ‘so long as you understand what you did wrong, and strive to be better, everything will be fine.’”

Ruby nodded, “Yeah.”

Rarity smiled. “Wise words.”

Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but Dinky suddenly started looking around frantically.

“Oh no! They left us behind!” She started running down the street. “Come on, Ruby!”

Ruby started to follow, but paused to look at Applejack. “Oh, Applejack, can you teach my mom how to rodeo?”

Applejack blinked, “Why?”

“Parody said my mom wasn’t good at it, that she just ended up hurting him.”

Applejack and Rarity shared a wide eyed glance. “Uh, sure. Ah’ll see what Ah can do.”

“Thanks!” Ruby turned to scamper off after Dinky.

There was silence for a minute.

“So,” Applejack started, “Parody an’ Berry, huh?”

“Seems like it.”

Applejack snorted. “Don’t know how much help Ah’ll be.”

Rarity gave a soft laugh. “Well, I should get going. I have a sewing machine to grab, apologies to make,” She looked down the street where Ruby ran off, “and questions to ask.”

“Can ya’ apologize to ‘im for me?”

Rarity nodded, “Sure,” before trotting off down the street.


Trotting up to Parody’s house, Rarity could hear the banging sound of Parody working on something in his workshop. Seeing that the roller door to his workshop was open, she walked inside.

His workshop was a mess, but unlike the living area of his house, there seemed to be some level of organization to it. The floors weren’t cluttered at least.

“Hello, Parody.”

The hammering stopped as he gave her a look. “Did you have to sic Cherry on me?”

Rarity winced. “Sorry about that.”

Parody set down his hammer and began stretching. “I thought you ran your own business. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to tell them why something got delayed? You’re just supposed to tell them that it has and that you’re sorry. So long as you’re not already in a bad mood, you ponies are typically pretty understanding.”

Rarity shook her head and sighed. “I would also like to apologize on behalf of myself and Applejack for… calling you an idiot while we were in the market.”

Parody furrowed his brow, “Why?”

Not expecting to get confronted about it, Rarity sputtered, “Well, it’s just- the way you behave sometimes- and you don’t always make the best decisions, and-”

Parody shook his head. “No, I mean why are you sorry? I don’t care what you call me. I know I’m an idiot; it’s one of my more endearing qualities.”

Rarity stood there with a perplexed look. “Uh, okay?”

“I’m honestly more irritated that you told Cherry I bumped her back. The only way I was able to get her to calm down was to help her out today. So once I’m done with this,” he gestured to the propeller on the anvil, “I gotta take it over to her place and help her put her aircraft together. So thanks for increasing my workload today.”

“… Sorry.”

Parody shook his head as he walked towards the door separating his workshop from his house. “Ugh. God knows what would happen if she knew…”

Rarity tilted her head as she trailed behind him. “Knew what?”

Parody muttered something to himself before turning around in the doorway. “You know, given that you can’t keep your mouth shut, I’m not gonna tell you.” With that he turned and strolled through the door and into his cluttered living room.

“That’s fair.” She followed him into his house, wary of the mess on the floor. She thought to herself for a minute before smirking. “So, Parody, I heard something quite interesting in the market this morning.”

“Oh?” He turned around, brow quirked.

“Is there something going on between you and Berry Punch?”

He smirked and folded him arms across his chest. “And where did you hear something like that?”

“Little Ruby Pinch mentioned something about a rodeo. I do hope you weren’t hurt too badly.”

He unfolded his arms and shook his head, “Well, I’m afraid I’m not an insatiable gossip, unlike you. So, if you want the ‘juicy details,’ you’ll have to ask Berry herself.” He walked over to the kitchen table where the sewing machine rested. “Anyway, your sewing machine is fixed. Just a small break that knocked a lot loose.” He picked it up and passed it over to Rarity.

Rarity ran her eyes over the machine as she took it from him. “Thank you, Parody. I appreciate-” Rarity did a double take as she noticed one of Parody’s hands wrapped in bandages. “Parody, what happened to your hand?”

He held up his hand, looking at the slightly bloody bandages that wrapped around his palm. “Oh, this? After I put your sewing machine back together, I had to make sure it still worked.”

Rarity furrowed her brow, “… What did you do? Sew your hand?”

“That’s exactly what I did.”

“What? Why?!”

He shrugged, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“What could possibly make you think that that was a good idea?!”

“Well, see, I started to think about crocheting and knitting, and how you can make all these cool designs,” he started to unwrap the bandages, “And I thought it’d be cool if I sewed a design into my hand, so I did.” He held his hand up to show her his palm. “Look, it’s a smiley face.”

Rarity looked. There was a bit of dried blood, but sure enough, there was a smiley face stitched into the palm of his hand. “… Didn’t that hurt?”

He turned his hand to look at it. “Honestly? Not really. Not too different than getting a tattoo. What really got me was the sensation of string being pulled though my palm.”

Rarity visibly shuddered. “Right. I’m sorry I asked.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She turned and opened her saddlebags, depositing her sewing machine and withdrawing her bit bag. “How much do I owe you?”

Parody waved her off. “Eh, just take it. I owe ya anyway.”

Rarity hummed to herself. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but what makes you say you owe me?”

Parody shook his head and sighed, before lifting his hands. “Okay, look. I stand by what I said: It was funny, and I’m not sorry. That being said, I guess it did cost you a bit of money, so you can have this one for free.”

Rarity gave him a flat look, almost a glare, as she lowered her bit bag into her saddlebags. “I take it this is you trying to make up for the ‘photo shoot’ last week?”

Parody snorted, “Take it as you will, I’m not sorry. I just owe you.” He began waving her towards the front door as he walked back to his workshop. “Now go on! Get! I gotta finish Cherry’s propeller.”

Shaking her head, Rarity walked to and out the front door, stopping only to look over her shoulder. “Thank you, Parody.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He gave her a backwards wave as he walked through the door into his workshop.

Rarity lightly shook her head as she closed the door behind her and walked out to the street. “Uncouth, childish, and impulsive. He really is just a giant foal.”

As she trotted further down the road, the banging of Parody working resumed. Humming to herself, Rarity’s mind drifted along, growing lost in thought as she continued trotting.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the voice of somepony she wanted to talk to. She turned to look at the side of the street and saw Derpy’s house. Spotting Derpy and Berry Punch chatting in the yard, Rarity walked up to them.

Derpy noticed her first. She waved, smiling cheerily, “Hi, Rarity.”

Berry silently turned to look.

Rarity nodded in greeting. “Hello, Derpy, Berry. Are you two doing alright?”

Berry shrugged, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Derpy nodded cheerfully, “Yep!” Pausing, she tilted her head. “How about you?”

Rarity sighed, “It’s getting better. I just got my sewing machine back from being repaired and I’m off to get back to work.”

Berry winced, “Oof. How long was it broken?”

Rarity smiled, “Fortunately just this morning, so I shouldn’t be too much further behind.”

“’Too much further behind?’” Berry took a closer look at Rarity. “Are you sure you’re alright? You look like you’re exhausted.”

Rarity’s smile tightened a bit. “I’ll be fine. I’ve had to cut a bit out of my beauty sleep, but it will be worth it once I get everything done on time.”

Derpy looked unsure. “I dunno, I’ve found that the number of mistakes I make delivering letters is inversely proportional to the amount of sleep I get at night. Are you sure you should be cutting sleep, even to get everything done on time?”

Rarity opened her mouth to respond, but stopped.

Derpy had a point. She was more prone to either making or overlooking mistakes when she was tired, and she’d have to cut out even more sleep to make up for time lost this morning. But she had a deadline. She had a limited amount of time to get everything done or risk disappointing several ponies that were counting on her. That was important, right?

Don’t you know you’re not supposed to tell them why something got delayed? You’re just supposed to tell them that it has and that you’re sorry. So long as you’re not already in a bad mood, you ponies are typically pretty understanding.

Rarity sighed before chuckling softly. “I suppose you’re right, Derpy. It would be poor form on my part to not only neglect myself, but deliver a subpar product as a result. I suppose a nap is in order. I’m sure my customers will understand the delay.”

Berry smirked raised a hoof as Derpy giggled softly. “There you go. Take some time for yourself.”

Rarity tittered lightly as she bumped hooves with Berry. Silence reigned for a moment before Rarity perked up. “Oh, Berry, before I forget: Is there something going on between you and Parody?”

Berry stared at her, a blank look on her face. Derpy started to twitch, before breaking out into laughter. Berry slammed a hoof into her face with an audible CLACK.

Rarity winced. That looked like it hurt.

She was wearing steel shoes after all.

Hearing hoofsteps, Rarity turned to see Applejack walk up, an unsure look on her face. She briefly glanced at Rarity before turning to Berry.

“Howdy, Miss Punch. Er, yer daughter said somethin’ ‘bout you needin’… rodeo lessons?”

Berry sat down as her other forehoof joined the first. Derpy collapsed onto the ground, her peals of uncontrolled laughter filling the air.

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other and shrugged.

Author's Note:

Ever start up a YouTube series with your friends, only to look like an absolute idiot in the first 20 seconds?