Wake Up Call Part 1
Sunlight streamed into the room through the curtains, slowly rousing the plum mare. She groaned in discomfort as she woke, the light landing on her eyelids only served to make her growing headache worse. She shifted a little, moving her eyes away from the light. She sighed in content as the headache faded slightly, allowing her thoughts to wander.
She obviously had a hangover, but for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why.
Okay, so she clearly went drinking last night, and that’s why she had the hangover, but she couldn’t remember why she went drinking. Was it a party? A date? Boredom? Had she been sampling her own merchandise again? Possibly, not like anyone else was drinking it. She shifted slightly to get away from the light chasing her eyes. Either way it didn’t matter. Last night was last night; as for today, she was perfectly content with lying in bed for the morning. It was a Saturday, so she had nothing important to do. Well, she didn’t have to take her daughter to school. Couldn’t really remember anything else.
With that decided, she relaxed, and started to nod off. The window was open, leaving the breeze to gently blow over her coat, bringing in the fresh smell of the outdoors. Her body moved with the rise and fall of gentle breathing.
There was only one problem.
That wasn’t her breathing.
Her eyes snapped open as she became fully alert. Ignoring the stinging pain that action brought, she lifted her head off its resting place and looked down. She was met with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow.
“So, how was your nap?”
Berry Punch panicked.
Adrenaline coursing through her body, she threw herself to her hooves, performing what could only be described as a “panicked hoofy-dance” as she frantically stamped her hooves on the blankets underneath her in an attempt to get away.
The smirk dropped.
“AH! AGH! FU-! GAH! PLE-! NAGH! STAH! ERG! RAGH!”
The figure underneath her thrashed around under the covers, trying to get away from the rain of pain her hooves were bringing upon its body. Eventually the figure slipped off the bed, dragging most of the sheets with it, and crumpled into a heap on the floor.
Berry Punch collapsed onto the bed, hooves clamped over her head, eyes clenched shut, trying to ignore the pounding in her head as her hangover voiced its disapproval of her actions. As the aching dulled, she became aware of the strangled thrashing coming from the floor beside her. She opened her eyes and shifted to stare at the thing rolling around on the floor, making choked gasps of pain.
It was the town blacksmith, the human. He had moved into town a while back, and set up a forge, but other than that, she couldn’t remember anything else about him. Aside from placing a couple of custom orders, she never really interacted with him. She didn’t even remember his name. What was it? It had been something goofy sounding…
“AUUUUUUGH!”
Snapped out of her thoughts, Berry’s ears folded back as she winced away from the loud noise, before turning to look at the blacksmith as he propped himself up on all fours, coughing and groaning in pain.
“AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHOW!” He stabilized himself on his hands and knees. He coughed a couple more times before looking up at Berry with a pained expression. “Was any of that necessary?!”
As she struggled to respond, Berry’s frazzled mind could only summon up one thought. “What were you doing in my bed?!”
The blacksmith pushed himself up onto his knees. He let one arm drop to his side and used the other to point at her. “I think a better question is ‘what are you doing in my house?’”
“Alright. What are you doing in my house?!”
He gave her a patient glare with a strained smile before gesturing around the room. “Does this look like your house?”
Berry’s mind slowly wound down as she looked around the unfamiliar light blue walls surrounding her. None of the furniture matched her room, and the open window wasn’t in the same place as hers. She looked back at the blacksmith.
He gestured to himself. “This is my house.”
Berry furrowed her brow. “What am I doing in your house?”
He threw his hands into the air. “I don’t know! That’s why I asked!” Berry winced as his outburst sent him into a coughing fit. As it settled, he looked back up at her. “I was just relaxing on my couch when the door slammed open and you drunkenly stumbled inside. How did you mess that up anyway? You live on the other side of town.”
That was a good question. Berry Punch sat there and wracked her brain, but try as she might, she still couldn’t remember anything about the previous night.
“Must’ve been quite the night if you remember none of it,” he coughed. “Anyway, I really didn’t feel like dealing with a drunk pony, so I just went to bed early and tried to ignore the sound of you rummaging around downstairs. Fat lot of good that did, ‘cause about an hour later you stumbled into the room and flopped onto the bed. No sheets or nothing. Just a jump and a flop.” He gave her a smirk, “For a moment there, I was afraid you were going to break my ribs.” He started laughing, only to have it change into a violent coughing fit. Berry’s eyes widened in concern as he collapsed back onto his hands and coughed up a bit of blood. “Little did I know, you were just waiting to do that in the morning.”
Berry stared at the blood on the floor before shifting her worry onto the blacksmith. “Are- are you okay?”
He looked up at her with a disbelieving stare. “Am I okay? You river danced on my ribcage! What do you think?!”
Berry flinched back, ears folded against her head. “Was it- was it really that bad?”
He stared at her for a moment. “Was it really that- you’re wearing steel shoes! I would know! I made them! Gagh!” He collapsed back down. “What does a winemaker need steel shoes for, anyway?”
“I… uh…” She struggled for a response before looking down at her hooves and blushing lightly. “They’re… to impress a stallion.”
The blacksmith sat back in silence before smirking. “Well, steel is nice and all, but I must admit I’m more of a polished chrome guy myself.”
“What?” It took Berry a moment to realize what he meant. “No! They aren’t meant to impress you!”
He quirked an eyebrow. “You sure? ‘Cause you seemed awfully eager to show them off while you were stamping on my sternum.”
She winced and looked away. “I-I-”
“Then again, I guess that makes sense,” he continued. “Bit of an odd move to try and impress me with something I made.”
Berry blinked. “You made?” She turned back to him. “What are you talking about? I bought these from Caramel.”
The blacksmith rolled his eyes and began shuffling on his knees towards the bed. “And who do you think he got them from, the smiths in Canterlot?” When he reached the bed he sat up and grabbed her hoof.
“Hey!” Berry tried to pull away. “Let go!”
He turned her hoof so that she could see her shoe, before pointing at a mark engraved on it. “That’s my brand. I made these.”
He let go and toppled backwards onto the floor as she pulled her hoof away. She gave a glare at his prone form before looking closer at the mark on her shoe. It looked like a mixture of a ‘p’, a ‘6’, and a ‘4’.
The blacksmith sat up. “Look, I’m proud of my work and all, but that doesn’t mean I want my brand bruised into my body.”
Berry grimaced. “Look, I’m really sorry. I-I panicked, and-”
The blacksmith shook his head and waved her off. “Eh, it’s whatever. Don’t worry about it.” He shifted around and slowly got to his feet. “Ugh. I’m just gonna go see about fixing any broken ribs I might have. Then I’ll worry about breakfast.” He began to walk towards the door. “Since you’re here, feel free to join. But, before that," He turned and pointed at her, “you reek of alcohol. Shower’s across the hall.” With that he walked out of the room.
Berry Punch sat on the bed for a couple minutes, trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened, only stopping when her musings made her headache even worse. Sighing, she put her head in her hooves and massaged it to try and dull the pain. Maybe a hot shower was what she needed to clear her thoughts. Berry’s nose twitched as she finally got a whiff of herself.
“Bleagh.”
Definitely needed a shower.
He didn’t have any shampoo.
Well, okay, that wasn’t fair. He did have shampoo, but she wasn’t sure it was meant for ponies. It certainly wasn’t anything she liked. No raspberry scented mane-n-tail. No fruit punch coat conditioner. Just a boring, bland smelling bottle that looked like it came from the bottom of the discount bin at Barnyards and Bargains. That and a stupid, slippery bar of soap that she definitely didn’t slip on trying to climb into the awkwardly shaped tub.
Stupid soap.
Without any way to clean herself properly, Berry Punch just sat under the too tall shower, letting the hot water flow down her head, to her neck, and then to the rest of her body. The hot shower and steam dulled her headache enough to finally allow her to think clearly.
Parody.
That was his name.
It had been in the newspapers a while back. Up in Canterlot, something had happened between the princesses and an unknown creature. She didn’t know what exactly. The papers included a picture of one of the castle towers with a hole blown in the side, but never specified any further. Then, about a week later, Parody showed up in Ponyville. He bought a plot of land, built a house, and made himself the town blacksmith. That was all she really knew about him. She saw him every now and then in town, but the only time she actually interacted with him was when she ordered some custom wine racks. It didn’t help that his house was on the other end of town, about an hour’s trot away from hers.
He had a good point; how did she mess that up?
She shook her head, mane dangling in front of her face. It didn’t matter right now. She tilted her head back, letting the water run down her face. What mattered was what she was going to do from here. Her stomach gave a low rumble. Breakfast seemed like a good place to start. Getting some food in her would probably help her hangover. She sighed softly, letting the water run over her.
She’d figure out her day from there.
Berry Punch stepped out of the bathroom, giving the soap a backwards glare. She was dry, but her mane was an absolute tangled mess. It had taken five minutes and several broken teeth before she gave up and accepted that Parody’s comb wasn’t going to help. She’d just have to deal with it until she could use her brush back at home.
As she trotted down the hall, she heard Parody’s voice drift up from downstairs.
“-ow that I can. It’s not a matter of if I can, it’s if I will.”
Curious, Berry slowed down as she approached the staircase.
“Well, unlike usual, I have a guest over. I’d rather not risk burning the house down while someone other than me is inside it.”
Hovering at the top of the staircase, Berry waited to catch more of his conversation.
“Look, I’ll come up with something, just give me a minute.”
Berry waited a few more moments. When she realized Parody was done talking, she began to trot downstairs
Parody was in the kitchen, hands on his hips, staring at the stove. He spared her a glance. “Hey,” he nodded his head to the table, “got a hangover cure for you on the table. Probably tastes awful, so, y’know, watch out for that.”
She slowly nodded as she walked past him to the table. She picked up the glass of green sludge that rested there and began drinking it.
“Well, at least you smell better.”
Berry’s face turned greener than the sludge before she dropped the glass and rushed to the garbage can to vomit.
Parody stared at the pile of glass shards and sludge with a flat expression. He sighed, “And now I have to clean up broken glass. Awesome.”
“Ugh,” Berry Punch pulled her head out of the garbage can. She felt sick to her stomach, had the smell of puke in her nose, and all she could taste was bile.
At least her hangover was gone.
With her head no longer pounding, Berry was able to start taking in details about her surroundings, and she noticed-
“Your house is a mess!”
And it was.
Bits of scrap and unfinished projects were strewn randomly across the floor. The sheer number of tool racks and shelves holding junk almost prevented Berry from seeing the walls behind them. The floor was so cluttered that she was surprised Parody could even walk around at all. She couldn’t even understand half of the mess in front of her. There were bent pipes, plates of metal, and cobbled together pieces of machinery that she would never be able to guess the purpose of. There was even a wheel propped up against the couch. The only places that were mostly clear were the kitchen area and right next to the front door.
“Well, you certainly didn’t help, what with the breaking in and trashing the place.”
Berry winced and turned back to look at him. “Did I do that?”
His blue eyes rolled. “Eh, not really. It was already a mess before you showed up. You just made it a little bit worse.” Parody turned back to face the stove.
Berry Punch gave the mess one final look before turning and walking over to stand next to Parody. “So,” she said, looking between Parody and the stove he was glaring at, “what are you doing?”
“Trying to decide what to do about breakfast.”
“Thinking about what to cook?”
He shook his head, causing his long brown hair to shake a little. “No. I’m more debating on whether or not to cook.”
“… What?”
Parody turned and gave Berry a smirk, placing a hand on his chest, partially obscuring the cartoon face printed on his shirt. “Berry, I’m a man of many talents. About half of those talents I can never perform consistently.” He turned to glare at the stove. “Cooking is one of those talents.” He caught Berry’s disbelieving stare. “No, seriously. One day I could cook you a five star meal; the next, I’d be burning soup.”
Berry’s brow furrowed. “How do you burn soup? Soup’s like ninety percent water.”
Parody gave her a wide eyed stare. “That’s… almost exactly what my friend said.”
They both stood in silence for a bit.
“Anyway,” Parody said, “here’s how it’s gonna go. Either I turn on that stove and cook us some breakfast, or I turn on that stove and it, I dunno, explodes and kills us both.”
Berry Punch took several steps back and shot Parody a worried look. “What?!”
Parody shrugged. “Welcome to my life; population: two.”
Berry stayed rooted in place, looking between Parody and the stove with no small amount of concern.
Parody watched her for a couple seconds before gesturing to the door. “You wanna just eat out?”
She nodded.
“Alright,” Parody strode past her, his two-tone blue cape flittering behind him as he deftly wove around the clutter and out the front door. “Come on!”
Berry blinked a couple more times, then carefully stepped around the piles of junk and followed Parody outside.
As Berry Punch followed Parody down the street, she took the time to wave to and greet passing ponies. She didn’t know what the exact time was, but from the number of ponies on the street, she figured they had caught the early rush for Saturday market.
After looking at all the traffic, Parody turned to Berry. “Alright, as we approach the market, you’re gonna wanna stay nearby. Otherwise we might get split up and lose track of each other.”
Berry looked at all the brightly colored ponies around them on the street. Then she looked at Parody’s black shirt and pants.
“I don’t think I’d have a hard time finding you.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I guess I am taller than everyone else here, aren’t I?”
“That too.”
As they walked down the street, Berry continued to greet those they passed, making small talk with a few passing friends. Parody for the most part walked in silence, only speaking to a few ponies that trotted up to ask about the status of their orders. After finishing her conversation, Berry began to let her mind wander. Her eyes glanced around as she thought about her morning, and if there was anything she needed to take care of. She had a nagging feeling that she was forgetting something, but couldn’t figure out what. Maybe it was…
“What’s with all the ponies? Everyone got a place to be or something?”
Blinking into focus, Berry looked around. Sure enough, there were more ponies on the street than before, with even more on the way it looked like. Made sense.
“It’s Saturday market.”
“What? Saturday market? What’s so special about Saturday market?”
Berry blinked before looking at Parody. “Has nopony told you?”
Parody tossed his hands in the air. “No. No one tells me anything.”
“Saturday market is open market, which means anypony can set up a stand.”
“Wait, is that not normal? I thought ponies just rolled up into market when they had something to sell.”
Berry shook her head. “No. While ponies can sell stuff from their own shops whenever they want, they are only allowed to set up a stand in the market once or twice a week. Saturdays are the only days where everypony is free to set up their stands.
“You’re kidding. There’s a market schedule?” Parody pressed a hand into his face. “No wonder- Gah! So much wasted time.” He dragged his hand down his face before turning to Berry. “Does town hall have the schedules?” At her nod, Parody shook his head and began muttering to himself.
Berry giggled. “Anyway, I’m hoping the Apple’s have their stand up today. They didn’t yesterday, and I’ve been meaning to buy a basket of apples. I want to try making apple wine.”
“Not apple cider?”
Berry shook her head. “No, they’ve got the market on cider locked down. I want to try something new, so I’m considering adding apple flavoring to the wine I already make.”
“Speaking of which, how’s the wine business anyway?”
Berry sighed, “Not great. It’s a bit of a dry season right now; Nopony is buying anything for themselves. My only business right now is some of the local bars. It’s enough to get by on, but…”
“Not ideal?”
“Yeah.”
“Eh,” Parody nodded, “I know the feeling. You ponies don’t like to buy from a creature you aren’t comfortable around, and it took you ponies forever to warm up to me.” He shrugged, “Then again, breaking Pinkie’s nose probably didn’t help.”
Berry stopped to whirl around and face him. “You broke Pinkie's nose?!”
“Yeah, at my welcome to Ponyville party.” He furrowed his brow, “Weren’t you there?”
Berry Punch opened her mouth to respond, only to pause and look away as she tried to remember. “… I was… very drunk.”
Parody rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that figures.”
Berry scowled at that before turning back to him. “Why would you break Pinkie’s nose?”
Parody threw his hands up. “It was a reflex! She startled me!” He stared gesturing animatedly, “I was just minding my own business when all of a sudden she was in my face; so I punched her.” He punctuated by punching at the air in front of him.
Berry gave him level look.
He frowned, “Don’t give me that. When you’ve lived the life I’ve lived, then you can judge my fight or flight reflex. Until then, shut up.”
He turned forward and started walking. “So yeah, anyway, for whatever reason, it took you ponies forever to start using my services as a blacksmith. Just started working on my own projects when I got tired of twiddling my thumbs all day.”
Berry gave a soft laugh, “Sounds about right,” before trotting along after him. After a minute of silence Berry turned to Parody. “I don’t suppose I’d be able to interest you in buying some wine?”
Parody shook his head. “Nah. Not really in the mood. Besides, I've had some pretty bad experiences with alcohol.”
“Really? What happened?”
Parody snerked, “Well, admittedly, our first mistake was trying to brew it ourselves.”
Berry winced. It may have been her special talent, but some of her first attempts to make wine had been… less than successful.
“We were going for a mildly alcoholic beer; what we got was liquid death.”
“That bad, huh?”
“The black sludge was a pretty big giveaway.”
Berry faltered in her step. “Black sludge?!” It almost took effort to mess up that badly.
Parody nodded, “Yeah, It was this horrifying mess of curdled black slime that promised immediate alcohol poisoning with the smallest of sips...
“So naturally we drank it anyway.”
Berry had to suppress a gag. “Why?!”
Parody shrugged. “Why not?”
“Dying comes to mind.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t pleasant. If I had to describe the flavor, I’d say ‘concentrated regret.’”
Berry stared disbelievingly. “… You’re insane.”
“I’m getting better.”
Berry shook her head, causing Parody to laugh.
“Anyway, that’s my tale of woe. How about you? Got anything from your starter days?”
“Not really. As a foal I made juice. It wasn’t until later that I started making wine.” She gave Parody a wry smile, “I’ve messed up, yes, but I must admit, you’ve easily topped any mistake I ever made.”
Parody laughed, “Yeah, I tend to do that.” He spread his arms, “But hey, if you’re gonna mess up, you might as well go for gold; make it memorable.”
Berry laughed, “I guess.”
He walked in silence for a bit, before turning to Berry.
“So, a juice mixer and a vintner? You got your own vineyard?”
Berry shook her head, “No. I have a small garden for my own private stock, but it doesn’t produce enough to sell. I have to buy grapes elsewhere in order to keep up most of the time.”
“Huh, sounds expensive.”
“It works out,” she smirked at him, “can’t be much more expensive than having to order metals all the time.”
Parody shrugged, “Wouldn’t know. I don’t order metals.”
Berry stopped. “Wait, you don’t?” He shook his head. “Then how do you get your work materials?”
Parody shrugged. “Well, for the most part I mine it out myself. You ever notice how I’ll disappear for a week or two?”
“… You do?”
“That’s a ‘no’ then.”
“Sorry, I-”
Parody waved her off. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m not exactly a huge part of your life. Anyway, there’s this small tribe of Diamond Dogs up near Trottingham. Got a deal with them. I’m allowed free reign of their mines. I get to keep the metals I dig up, they get most of the gems.”
Berry stared incredulously. “And they’re okay with that? They didn’t just try to kidnap you and make you dig for them? I heard what happened to Rarity, and-”
“Okay, not all Diamond Dogs are savages,” He let out a wild smirk. “I mean, they did try, but I’m pretty difficult to contain.” He laughed. “No, see, Diamond Dogs are a bit like wild dogs or wolves: pack alphas, rule of the strong, stuff like that.” He made a fist. “All I had to do was beat my way up the chain of command, and suddenly my ideas are worth listening to.”
Berry scrunched her face.
Parody burst out laughing, “Hey, if it works, it works.”
She frowned, “So what, you just beat up a bunch of diamond dogs until you were in charge?”
Parody shook his head, “Oh, no, I’m not in charge; I didn’t climb that far. I’m just worth listening to. I mean, I still have to deal with upstarts, but it keeps things interesting.”
Berry put her head in her hoof and groaned. This conversation was giving her a headache. She needed to change the subject, but she needed to do so naturally.
“So, what’s the weather like today?”
Smooth.
Parody laughed, “The weather, huh?” He looked up at the partly cloudy sky. “Hmm, I don’t actually know. I never bother with a weather schedule. Here, let me just ask real quick.”
He bent down to scoop a rock into his hand. Standing back up, he tossed the rock a couple of times before reeling back and -“Hey, Rainbow!”- throwing it at a drifting cloud with a rainbow tail hanging over the edge.
Thunk
“OW!”
The tail disappeared and was replaced by Rainbow Dash, rubbing her head and scowling down at Parody.
“What the hay?! That hurt!”
Parody cupped his hands around his mouth, “Yeah, if only there was something you could do about that!” Rainbow began growling. “Anyway, what’s the weather look like today?”
“Rain for you!”
With that she took off, leaving a rainbow contrail behind her. Parody’s eyes trailed her as she disappeared, before turning to Berry with a smirk.
“Guess I’m getting rain today.”
Taking her eyes off the fading rainbow, Berry turned to stare at Parody. “What was that?!”
He shrugged, “Eh, we’re not on good terms.” He started off down the road.
Following, she continued to stare, her silent gaze demanding an explanation.
He blinked first.
Turning away, Parody sighed, “Ruin my day why don’t you…” He snapped back to face her. “Alright, look, you know how I said it took you guys forever to start actually using me as a blacksmith?” At her nod, Parody tilted his head in the direction Rainbow had taken off. “She was the first. She came to me one day and asked if I could make her a suit of armor. I was excited. It was my first big commission, and I wanted to go above and beyond. Forget bumping the lamp, I was gonna knock it from the ceiling.” He threw his arms in the air, “And why wouldn’t I? She’s Rainbow Dash: Hero of Equestria. She fights monsters, saves the world and all that. A suit of armor… It just made sense.
“I got started on it right away. Had to get body measurements from Rarity, shoe size from Caramel, and on top of all that, I had to track Dash down for some final measurements, as well as study the range of motion of her limbs; Real fun explaining that one. Once I had all that, I had to actually design it, and oh boy did that take a long time.” He started gesturing animatedly. “It needed to be aerodynamic, while also protecting her from damage, like a proper suit of armor should. It couldn’t just be a couple form fitting plates of metal, it had to be more than that. So I had Rarity tailor a gambeson while I worked on the chain-mail under armor, then I had to make the plate-mail. And all of that needed to perfectly blend defense and aerodynamics, while also looking good.
“And then when I had all of that done, I had to pay someone else to enchant it, because I completely wrecked the first set trying to do it myself!”
Berry tilted her head. “You enchanted it?”
“I had it enchanted, yes.”
“What with?”
Parody waved an arm lazily. “Eh, mostly standard stuff. Added durability, impact dispersion, something to regulate temperature so she didn’t die of heat stroke underneath three layers of armor, as well as some other enchantments to try to make up for the fact she’d be flying around with a bunch of metal strapped to her body.
“So, after weeks of work, I finally had the armor done. I even threw in a sword, y’know, to complete the set. So, I presented the complete product to her.” He sighed heavily before turning to Berry. “You know what she did?”
She shook her head.
“She wore it around town, showed it off for a day,” he scowled, “then hung it up and never wore it again. Can you believe that?!” He began gesturing wildly. “All that work and she doesn’t even use it?! Do you understand that?”
“Uh-”
“I mean, how would you feel if someone bought your most expensive bottle of wine, only to put it on a shelf with no intention of ever drinking it?”
Berry flinched back at the force of his voice. “… I guess I’d be a little upset, but how would I even know?”
Parody scoffed, “Well, I know because I confronted Dash and she told me such. She told me- to my face! - that she had no intention of ever using the armor for its intended purpose. Oh I loved hearing that! I think we were arguing for ten minutes before she finally shouted,” he spread his arms wide, “’Well what do you want me to do? Kill someone?!’ and I was just like ‘Yes! Please! Someone! Anyone! I don’t care, just use it! What other use would you have for a sword and armor?!’” His arms dropped, his posture relaxing as they approached an outdoor café. “’Course all that got me was an invitation to the castle from Princess Twilight, and a lesson on ethics and morality.” He rolled his eyes as he sat down at a table. “Waste of my time.”
Berry Punch hesitantly took the seat across from Parody, eyeing the crowd of ponies staring at him after his outburst. “Well, to be fair, you did tell Rainbow Dash to kill somepony.”
Parody rested his head on his hands and pouted. “… It didn’t have to be a pony.”
Berry was silent.
Parody sighed, “It’s just… I put a lot of effort into it, and just want her to actually use it.”
Berry wracked her head, searching for something to say. “… Well, you seem passionate about your work.”
“You don’t care.”
Berry winced. “No, I- I do. It’s just-”
Parody waved her off. “No, no, it’s fine. I get it. It’s not something you really care about. That’s okay. I can’t imagine I’d be too terribly interested if you started ranting on about the wine business, or about how the price of grapes is unfair, or something like that.” He chuckled to himself. “Besides, it’s my fault anyway. Social etiquette suggests not unpacking everything on the first date.”
Berry gave him a level glare, causing him to burst out laughing. She rolled her eyes and accepted a menu from an approaching waitress. She idly looked through as she waited for Parody to stop laughing.
His laughter dying, Parody began to shift in his seat before settling down with a wide grin.
Berry glanced up from her menu. “You done?”
“Yeah.”
Leaving his menu on the table, Parody began rolling his shoulders and stretching, joints popping as he did so.
Berry winced at the crackles and pops, the sounds bringing to mind something she had meant to ask earlier.
“Hey, Parody?”
He stopped, “Yeah?”
“I forgot to ask this earlier, but how are your ribs?”
“Hmm?”
“Your ribs, are they okay? You said something about checking to see if I broke any, and I was afraid that I did. After all, I-”
“Stomped on them with the force of an oncoming train?”
Berry winced and looked away, avoiding eye contact. After a moment, she worked herself up enough to ask, “How many?”
“Would you believe me if I said all of them?” As Berry’s ears lowered in shame, Parody laughed. “I’m fine, don’t worry. Wasn’t anything I would consider serious.”
Berry sighed in relief.
“Still hurt, though. So I would like to politely request that you not do that again, if at all possible.”
Berry shot him a look, but it didn’t have a lot of heat in it. She was glad he was okay. She never wanted to hurt him, she had just…
Panicked.
With that bit of guilt off her chest, she looked through the menu, but couldn’t take any of it in. With the guilt gone, all that was left was this nagging feeling she’d had all morning that she was forgetting something…
Parody suddenly sat up straight.
“Hey, total non-sequitur, but don’t you have a daughter?”
Berry blinked uncomprehendingly before jumping to her hooves and bolting down the street in a panic.
“RUBY!”
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Looking good. Nothing like having a mare tap dance on your ribs in the morning.
Diamond dog hierarchy. I wonder what rank he is? Beta? Heh.
Sounds very RD. I can only imagine the look of everypony when he blurted out that line to retort RD about the armor.
More, good Author. I needs another round.
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Well, if nothing else, it certainly wakes you up. (Amusingly, "You tap-danced on my torso!" was a line in the first draft that I ended up cutting.)
I'm glad you're enjoying the story.
Apparently wild wolves don't work like that, grey wolf packs are family units