Of All the Nerf!!!

by RebelNarrator45

The War Continues...

The rebel side had retreated. Or at least some of them had. Twilight had come to twenty minutes after being hit by Starlight's knockout spell, glad that there were no side affects. She had carried the wounded Applejack back to Sweet Apple Acres, where Granny Smith 'fixed' her up...by handing her a fresh slice of apple pie.

"Tarnation!" Applejack said. "Those Defenders sure know their fightin' stuff! Ah can't believe that low down Dash stabbed me!"

"At least it was a toy sword." Twilight said helpfully.

"That may be, but it was plastic! An' she poked me hard! Ah think Ah have a bruise..." Applejack felt her side with a hoof and winced. "Eeyup."

"Well, Starlight blasted me with a knockout spell!" Twilight said. "Me! Her own mentor!"

"Well, to be fair, this here is a war." Applejack pointed out. "An' her spell don't have no whatchamacallems, neither."

"Side affects." Twilight said. "And no, thank Celestia."

The door crashed open and in strode Braeburn, grinning.

"Ah did it." He announced. "I hit the princesses."

"You WHAT?!" Twilight shrieked, while Applejack choked on a bite of pie.

"I took a shot and got them both, cousin!" He stated.

"Oh, this isn't good." Twilight said. "How bad?"

"Clean shots. Killed em both."

"Oh that is definitely not good!" Twilight said. "I don't even know how they got in the middle of this, but...but Celestia will have a fit over being assassinated!!" She grimaced.

"Ah don't think so." Braeburn said. "The both seemed to actually enjoy dyin'."

"Oh. Well...ok, then." Twilight said, relieved. She glared. "But I'm still mad at you for shooting my former mentor!"

"An' now you're in charge of Equestria." Applejack said.

Twilight's eyes widened.

"What?!"she shrieked."I can't run a country and fight a war all at once!!"

"Aw shucks, sure ya can!" Applejack said. She grinned. "We took Equestria without even tryin'. Nice."

"Not funny." Twilight huffed, before stomping off to consult her map while Applejack went back to eating her pie.

****************************

"Ah don't think this is too smart."

Apple Bloom sounded worried as she and her comrades stood hidden behind a bush near the battlefield.

"Oh relax!" Scootaloo said. "We have to help save Ponyville!"

Sweetie Belle needed no further urging. She charged, screaming, into the thick of battle, waving her sword with her magic. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged looks and followed.

"Sweetie Belle!" Rarity yelled. "Get out of here!"

"Never!" her little sister yelled back, stabbing a big pony in one side. He fell, winked, and then closed his eyes and feigned death. Rarity lost sight of the filly as a group of rebels got in her way. Sweetie Belle swung her sword with all her young might, taking out three more ponies. A nerf bullet whacked her rump and she yelled.

Scootaloo, meantime, was viciously fighting her way to Dash's side. The tired Dash gaped at her.

"Squirt, get outta here!" She said. "You'll get hurt!"

"Nope!" Scootaloo said, before leaping forward and poking a pony in the chest just and he was about to get Dash. He yelled as he fell. Dash grinned.

"Thanks, Scoots. Stay beside me, ok?"

Further away from them, Apple Bloom had made her way to Sweetie Belle, just in time to see the filly take a direct hit to the chest with a nerf bullet.

"Sweetie Belle!!" She yowled, as the little unicorn dropped. She rushed to her side and hugged her. "Sweetie Belle?"

"I'm...done in." Sweetie Belle gasped dramatically. "Finished! Dying! Ooh...I...feel...faint. A..Apple Bloom? Don't...forget me..."

"Never!" Choked out the farm filly, emotionally.

In a highly theatrical fashion that would do Rarity proud, Sweetie Belle flailed and writhed and gasped and groaned, and then, holding her body tense and still, she let out a shriek before going limp in Apple Bloom's grasp and giving a very low, shuddering breath. She shut her eyes.

"Sweetie Belle!!" Apple Bloom wailed. She hugged her fallen friend, then let go and rose. With renewed energy, she slashed and walloped her way to where Scootaloo was fighting alongside Dash. Rarity, Starlight, and Pinkie were all gathered there as well, fighting back to back.

"Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo said breathlessly. "You seen Sweetie Belle?"

"We...we lost her, Scootaloo." Apple Bloom whispered. Scootaloo stared.

"No! Not Sweetie!" Rarity cried out dramatically. "Oh, my little sister!! I love you so!" And she calmly poked another pony with her sword.

"It'll be ok, AB." Scootaloo said sadly."We'll have a nice funeral later. And...we won't forget her."

"Never." Apple Bloom replied with an affected sniff. She stood tall by Rarity and lifted her sword high. "For Sweetie Belle!"

With that, she flung herself into battle, eager to avenge her friend.
*********************************

Celestia and Luna, though they had both been 'assassinated', had somehow miraculously managed to ressurect and were now currently watching the continuing fight from the safety of a hilltop, along with other 'slain' ponies.

"This is really quite amusing." Luna remarked, as the sound of clicks and clacks, good natured insults, and theatrical 'dying' screams rose up to them. "Who do you think will come out victorious, Sister?"

"Hmm..." Celestia pondered it. "Well, at this point, it could go either way, but I am putting my money on the Defenders."

"Why, sister!" Luna said in mock dismay. "Are you taking the side against your dear former student?!"

"I am." Celestia said. "But if you tell her I did, I'll not only deny every word, I will exact revenge on you that you do not wish to face."

"Oh, Tia, please!" Luna scoffed. "I have faced being on the moon, Discord's revenge, Tirek's vengeance, and more. What could you possibly do that is more fearsome and horrible than that?"

Celestia grinned widely. Leaning toward her sister, she dropped her voice to a whisper.

"How about a very sound tickling session?" Luna gasped.

"Sister, you wouldn't!" She said.

"Wouldn't I?" Celestia replied with a giggle. "I happen to know a few tickle techniques that will have you begging for mercy."

Luna gulped. "And how would you know them?"

Celestia grinned down at the battlefield.

"Oh, a little pony told me about them."

Luna followed her line of sight to a pink pony wearing a...was that a cupcake hat??

"Do you mean...Pinkie Pie??? But...but I have heard her friends say she is the expert on tickle torture!"

Celestia smirked at her and gave a nod.

"Mmhmm."

"And you know her techniques??!"

"Mmhmmm!"

"And you would tickle torture me, just for telling Twilight you bet against her?!"

"Without hesitation."

"Well, ok, then. I am not going to say a word."

"Wise choice, Lulu. Very, very wise choice."
*********************************

Down below, the Rebel side had decided to retreat for now, and the Defenders drove them back out of town. Dash called her troops together and assigned them the task of tending to the injured and collecting the deceased to take to Sugarcube Corner.

"Oh Sweetie Belle." Scootaloo said, as Rarity levitated her sister and began carrying her to the bakery. "So brave. So loyal..."

"So young." Dash sighed. "I am so sorry, Scoots. Apple Bloom."

"Well. It will be hard. But we'll get over it." Scootaloo stated. "Like, in a month, maybe." Apple Bloom quietly snorted.

"Hey!" The 'corpse' exclaimed. "You can't get over it that fast!"

"Well, we will." Scootaloo said. "And you're dead, remember?"

Sweetie Belle huffed, but closed her eyes again. She was left at the bakery with the other casualties, to be brought back to life with cupcakes and cocoa. The others went to their headquarters.

"Soldiers," Dash said, sighing. "We lost alot of good colts, fillies, stallions, and mares out there today. Alot of our friends. It looks bleak, but we must not give up! We will not let Ponyville fall to those rebels! We will save this town!!!"

Her rousing speech was met with cheers and shouts. Dash grinned.

"Thank you. Now, I just have one more thing to say. Commander Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie snapped to attention.

"Yes Ma'am, General Dashie, Ma'am!"

"Take off that cupcake hat at once!"

"Aw, but Dashie, its so fun to wear it!" Pinkie pouted.

"Sure, and it makes you a sitting target. Take it off." Dash ordered.

"Can't I wear it, Dashie? Please?"

"No! Now get rid of it!"

"What if I wear it now and then toss it before any battles?"

'Celestia save me. She's gonna make me give in to the enemy and end the war right now, just to get her outta my mane!' Dash thought in frustration.

"Pinkie Pie...." it was growled.

"Yes, Dashie?"

"If I see that cupcake on your head again on the battlefield, I will take you out myself!"

"Awww! Dashie, that's so sweet!! But I'm totally not into mares! Well, I am, but only as friends. Not like, well...you know!"

Dash facehoofed.

"Captain Glimmer!"

"Yes, General Dash?" Starlight responded.

"Kindly remove Commander Pinkie from my presence before I unkindly remove her mane from her head!"

Starlight Glimmer wasted no time in pushing her friend from the room. But not before Pinkie Pie got in a last word.

"Does this mean I can wear my cupcake hat, Dashie??"

Rarity looked st Dash, who plunked her head down on the table and let out a loud moan.

"Somepony please put me out of my misery before I do something to her I'll regret!!!"

Author's Note:

I am really enjoying writing this.

Comments

[titanhades70]

Yeah, I would bet on the team with Starlight. She's like the Batmare of MLP.