Prince of Errors

by David Silver

4 - For Mom

The prince trotted past her, arriving at the twins' room shortly. He hadn't asked, but he was close enough that simply wanting to do his new job was enough to help him make the right turn. The real Pinkie wouldn't have had to ask where they were, so he'd be a tepid replacement if he had to, he figured.

"Are you asleep?" he asked quietly, reaching for the door's knob. Pinkie's hoof was especially sticky, able to grab the knob quite easily and turn it with all the natural agility of fingers. Pinkie's body had a lot of perks, he quietly noted to himself.

If one didn't mind being a mare. Not that being a mare was really the end of all things. Peeking in past the cracked door, he saw two bright eyes faces looking right back at him, both grinning and gurgling happily. "Guess not," he said with a little smile, coming in the rest of the way. "Hello..." Crud, what were their specific names again? "--you two! We're gonna have so much fun!"

They cheered in unison, little forehooves raised a moment as they sat on their little haunches. Pound and Pumpkin, even if their names were forgotten by him, reached towards her in an unspoken question. She tilted her head, not getting it right away, but it came quickly enough. "Oh, you want to come out of that crib." She reared up and reached past the bars, grabbing the two up in a soft hug.

Ponies were nice to hug, when they let you, which they had few reasons to. Pony foals were even better, he decided. Except... His borrowed pink nose wrinkled up. "One of you needs a change." He carefully set down the clean one and began looking for the supplies to address that problem.

The dirty one was the boy-foal with the wings, Pound. Yes, Pound. He nodded to himself, pleased that he recalled the name properly. There it was. He moved over to the collection of replacement diapers and the changing table eagerly, only realizing he wasn't using any of his hooves to hold Pound. He gasped in alarm, looking around for him, but he wasn't on the ground with his sister, nor in the crib. He looked around the room wildly. Was he flying?! He didn't see him.

Pound dipped into her view, giggling. Pound was held in the not-Pinkie's mane as if that was normal. The prince let out a little wry laugh. "Oh, right..." It was easy to forget how many tricks came with his borrowed body. He quickly set the foal down on the changing table, only to realize it was time to change the tyke.

Ick. Still, he had accepted the job... Maybe a little Pinkie magic could make it more pleasant. He took one of the fresh diapers and laid it beside the colt, then gathered the baby powder and wipes. "If I do it right..."

He bonked Pound, knocking them right out of their mess like that was a normal thing to do, she patted him with the wipe and dusted him with the powder even as he flew, only to be caught in the new diaper. Pound hit the other end of the changing table with an excited squeal, cleaned and changed.

He could really get used to Pinkie's body. Pity he'd have to give it back as soon as the job was done. He reached for the dirty diaper with a hoof that grabbed it easily and tossed it into a small trashcan that waited for such smelly offerings to its unending hunger. "Alright, now let's get you back down to your sister."

With a snatch of a mane that was far too agile than hair should ever be, he placed Pound beside his unicorn sister. "Pumpkin," he blurted, remembering. "Pound and Pumpkin Cake." Two tasty cakes, not that he figured the foals were valid for that consideration.

The play began. Not always interacting directly with the prince. The foals seemed just as happy sometimes playing with each other, or even finding a toy they had a momentary fascination with, banging on a little xylophone or bouncing a ball around on their own. The little foals had different needs at different times, and he was alright with just watching them do their thing.

If one didn't mind the loud squeals they made sometimes or the sounds of whatever they were doing, at least. Pumpkin waved at him suddenly, pointing at a book up on a shelf. He perked and pronked over, bouncing up and grabbing the book with a delightfully sticky hoof. He looked at the cover that declared it was a coloring book and flipped it open. About a third of it was already colored, often sloppily and in colors that barely matched reality. "You want to color?"

She gurgled and waved her hooves up at the book with obvious interest. He sank down on his haunches beside her and set out the book in reach. "Well, alright." Where were the crayons? He looked around in a darting search before the colorful case of a tin with a picture of a lot of crayons came into view. "There we go." He left the book behind and bounced over to the tin, grabbing it in his unnatural mane. "Let the coloring begin."

A crash made him wince before looking up to see Pound had been trying to climb a shelf and it ended about as bad as one might expect it to. He quickly set the tin down beside Pumpkin and rushed to the stunned colt, half covered with things knocked off the shelf. "You alright?" He quickly brushed the things that had landed on Pound aside, thankful that none of it looked particularly heavy. "You're safe now."

Pound gave a single pitiable sniffle as he sat up, shaking off the daze. Seeing not-Pinkie there, he suddenly smiled and pointed up at the shelf. He followed the point and saw Pound was gesturing at a can of silly string, perhaps the same can Pinkie had once used to make one heck of a mess on their sneeziversary. "Uh, let's... not play with that."

Pound crossed his little arms with an unhappy noise.

"We can color!" he suggested loudly, hoping to distract Pound away. He grabbed up the foal and set him down beside his sister.

Pumpkin had managed to work the tin open and already had a crayon in her little mouth. She was coloring the page quite happily, paying little mind to where the lines were, or what color she was using in the end. Pound tilted his head at her before casually knocking the tin over to more easily grab a big blue crayon for himself. With a happy giggle, he started coloring with her, working on the opposite side of the open book to create a nightmare of nonsensical shades.

He was alright with that. While they colored, they were close together and content. He started picking up the things Pound had knocked over, setting them back up on the shelf they had come from. Part of him wanted to really try out some more Pinkie tricks, but how did one do that while also keeping a close eye on two little foals?

One did not. He huffed softly, sinking to his new pink belly while watching the two. He was locked in the body of what was a low level goddess of fourth wall... The curiosity became far too intense. He looked around wildly a moment before he saw it, or you, in particular. "Oh dear god," he said with Pinkie's voice, jaw going a little loose. "Is... hey? Can you give a hand?" Alas, just because he could see beyond the fourth wall didn't mean he could hear any replies. "I guess that would be a bit much..."

The strangest part, for him, was that he could see he was being watched, but not really make out many details about it. Girl, boy? Some eldritch being from beyond the stars? He couldn't tell. He wasn't even sure if it was just one thing or lot of things. He just knew with absolute certainty that he was being watched. Did they confuse him for Pinkie like the ponies? How could he even check? "And this is why Pinkie doesn't look past the fourth wall too often." He nodded to himself, eyes closed a moment to banish the thought of what he had seen. Some things were not meant for men to know.

"How are my cute little foals doing?" Yes, watching the foals was better than considering the strange nature of the reality she was more aware of in her pink body. The two of them held up the book, showing off the mess they had made of the page. "Oh, hmmm, I like what you did with the orange." He pointed at the smear of orange that meant nothing. It wasn't remotely in the 'right' place, but still... "What were you trying to convey?" They giggled and babbled at him, offering no real reply. "Oh, I see, quite a bold statement..."

Adults were annoying at times, at least kids were straightforward. He could grasp what they were going for. He saw Pumpkin yawn softly and he hopped up to his hooves. "Time for a little nap so you can recharge for more fun." They pouted, but he gathered them up easily. "Don't you worry, Ste--" He shook his pink head. "Pinkie's not going anywhere."

He gently set both down in the crib and kissed either on their little noggin. They smiled and began to settle in. "Good little foals." She tiptoed towards the door, slipping from the room to let them slumber. Sugarcube Corner was abandoned. The Cakes were out, doing whatever they had to do. There were no customers, with nobody there to serve them. It was dimly lit and eerily quiet. "Huh, this isn't an angle you see much in the show."

On the bright side, he realized, the twins napping meant he could try a few other things before they woke up again. He couldn't go far, in case they did wake up and make some noise. What could Pinkie do... He smiled brightly and reached up a hoof to her forehead. "It was a disguise all along." He pulled down, unzippering her pink self that fell away lifelessly, leaving a new pony beneath.

With a barely restrained giggle, or more of a titter, he rushed to a mirror and saw Rarity looking back at him. "Oh, darling, aren't you fabulous?" He snorted at that and reached up, unzippering the Rarity disguise just as easily, revealing Pinkie once more. "How do you get anything done at all, you pink goddess?" He looked back and saw the first Pinkie disguise was gone as if it were never there. Only the Rarity suit remained. "And I bet, if I stop looking at you, you'll just kind of go away too."

The suit did not reply to his theory.

"Something useful, right." He was hungry, so he reached out and grabbed some food. He imagined a pizza, and didn't care where it came from. When he pulled back his pink hoof, a slice of pizza was dangling off of his hoof, waiting to be devoured. "How have you not taken over the world by now?" he asked nopony in particular before munching into his slice. "Hot!" He hadn't expected it to be quite so fresh, but that was good, right? He resumed eating a bit more carefully, enjoying the fresh slice.

"Could use some cheese." He reached out with his other hoof and pulled back a canister of parmesan cheese, shaking it generously onto the pizza. He casually put it back where it had come from, wherever that was and resumed his devouring. Of all the jobs he'd had so far, replacing Pinkie really wasn't so bad.

He hopped up, pizza consumed, and moved for the window to peek at the sky outside past the pulled blinds. The sun was growing heavy. "They'll be back soon."

He'd have to surrender the foals, and his pink form. He'd go back to being grey and useless.

Author's Note:

The powers of Pinkie are vast and terrible! He enjoys them, mostly. He also has mostly fun with the Cake twins. That could have gone worse, I say.

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Comments

[badninja]

Poor sad pony. He got to be Pinkie for a bit now he must return to what he sees as a boring existence. Hopefully Pinkie and Rarity can help him find his purpose and happiness.

[Emtu]

He started picking up the things Pumpkin had knocked over,

Pound was the one that knocked a bunch of stuff over, I think.

[David Silver]

9204604
Oops, getting my foals all mixed up.

[FanOfMostEverything]

He reached for the dirty diaper with a hoof that grabbed it easily and tossed it into a small trashcan that waited for such smelly offerings to its unending hunger.

YOUR OFFERING PLEASE COPROLOS, MORTAL. YOUR WORLD IS SAFE FOR ANOTHER DAY.

I fear that our hero may succumb to temptation. With great pinkness comes great responsibility, and he may not be ready for it. Here's hoping he doesn't face any kind of blowback for his frivolous use of such dread powers.

On a lighter note, have a few typos:

banging on a little zylophone

Xylophone.

at least kids were straight forward.

Straightforward, one word.

[David Silver]

9204902
Typos are bad for sleeping foals, let's take care of that.

How did you like when he asked you a question?

[FanOfMostEverything]

9204968
It was wise of him to turn his attention back to his own level of fictionality. That sort of thing rarely if ever ends well.

[howard035]

I wonder if he'd ever have to sub in for a foal. I mean, Flurry Heart is a busy Princess, right?

[David Silver]

9209210
There have been animation errors on the foals.

[tsaukpaetra]

Hmmm, better not get too attached or jealous... Resentment isn't good for the healthy pony...

[Emperor]

After being Pinkie, he's going back to a drab, grey existence...also he's going back to being a broken, grey Prince of Errors again!

[KvAT]

9627265
Ehh, emotions are healthy. It's only bad when you let it run its course for too much too long, like say... Nightmare Moon