"Oh, hello, Celestia, you have a lovely singing voice by the way," I said, causing the pale alicorn to blush heavily. "you flatter me," she said, still blushing. I smiled honestly, before replying, "not flattery if it's the truth, beautiful." Celestia blushed harder before she turned and walked out onto her balcony and looked towards the sky with a smile on her face and a question in her eyes. I smirked before responding. " Oh go ahead, you'll need to raise the sun before I can take us both back to my castle and start the game, dear." Puzzled she looked me in the eyes before asking a simple question.
One speaker per paragraph. You have three speaker changes here, you should have four paragraphs instead of one.
This whole fic feels familiar so far...
Like it's similar to one of the ones I found not long after I found the site.
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same
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It is almost word for word so far
One speaker per paragraph. You have three speaker changes here, you should have four paragraphs instead of one.
This is formatting hell.