The Equestrian Thieves Guild

by Wrat

The First Job

Suri hesitated just slightly before entering the bar. She had heard the stories surrounding the ponies she was about to meet. Not many had. They had done too good of a job staying secret. But the few rumors that existed said they could do anything. If that were true, she needed their help.

The bar was the most run down establishment she had ever been in. Cigar smoke lazily clung to the ceiling, ancient stains of questionable origin coated the floor, and pressed between the two was the dirtiest crowd of disreputable ponies Suri could imagine. She fought down her anxiety as she worked her way between the tables, giving every pony a wide berth and a watchful eye, finally making her way to the bar. She found the cleanest stool she could and did her best to ignore the grime on the bar as she waved over the barkeeper. He eyed her up critically as he wiped down a mug with a rag dirtier than the floor.

"What you drinking?" He asked gruffly. Suri swallowed her disgust at the line of drool hanging from his mouth and forced a reply past her lips.

"I'm looking for the Thieves Guild," she whispered quietly, nervously glancing around to make sure that no other pony overheard her. The bartender stared her down until she looked away.

"Don't know anything about them," he said in a tone that suggested their conversation was over. Suri fought to repress a shiver, then set a small pile of coins on the counter. Without even looking, the bartender swept them over to himself.

"Wait here." He calmly stepped out from behind the bar and walked off. Suri watched as he made his way to a small booth in the corner. Two ponies occupied the table. One was a tall, handsome earth pony with brown fur. The other was a scrawny grey pegasus with eyes that never rested. Suri felt a small shiver as the two of them turned to face her. The earth pony smiled warmly, then beckoned her over.

Suri rose from her stool and made her way to the two ponies. She stood awkwardly by their table for a few moments before the earth pony motioned her to have a seat.

"So," he said with a refined accent that contrasted sharply with his surroundings. "What can we do for you?"

Suri cleared her throat and began. "My name is-"

"No names," the earth pony interrupted. "Trust me, it is better that way." Suri thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

"A few months ago, I entered a fashion design contest. I was undoubtedly the best contestant, but there was this other contestant-"

"Are you here to tell us your life story, or do you want something?" The pegasus casually asked. Suri glared at him. He merely smiled and leaned back in his chair. The earth pony held up his hooves in a placating gesture.

"I assure you, my colleague meant no disrespect. Still, it would expediate the process if you would simply tell us what you want."

Suri indignantly stiffened. "Fine. One of my rivals has recently opened a boutique here in Canterlot, and I want it shut down. If you could...obtain...some of her designs for me, it would further my own business while ruining hers." Suri grinned maliciously. The earth pony carefully studied her for a few moments.

"Ten thousand bits." Suri blinked in confusion.

"Ex-excuse me?"

"Our fee. For the job. Ten thousand, cash." Suri felt her jaw drop. Ten thousand bits! She could buy a house for that kind of money!

"No way! Impossible! I refuse!" She rose to her feet as she shouted. The earth pony gently motioned for her to sit. His face remained an impassive mask. The pegasus seemed vaguely amused.

"I suggest you take a slightly less aggressive tone of voice," the earth pony told her, "unless you desire this meeting to be the business of every pony here." Suri looked around and saw that her outburst had drawn attention from some of the bar's other residents. She grudgingly sat down.

"I won't pay that kind of money for this," she muttered in a hushed voice. "Is it really fair of you to demand such an outrageous sum for such a simple task?"

The earth pony chuckled. "Is it really fair of you to take us for fools? There is only one shop you can be referring to, and I would prefer not to come into conflict with one who has fought gods and won."

Suri knew they had her then. She had been hoping the thieves would not know the boutique was owned by Rarity herself, but they did. If she was being honest, ten thousand was probably a bargain for such danger.

She did some quick mental math. She could scrape together ten thousand, although her purse would not thank her. Of course, once those designs were hers, she could pass them off as her own. And if the last dresses she had taken from Rarity were any indication...

"Alright, it's a deal then." She slid a pouch of coins across the table. "Here's a few hundred. I need time to get the rest to you." The pouch vanished into one of the earth ponies pockets.

"Have the rest of it for us within the week," he told her. "We'll have the designs by then." Suri felt a vengeful smile on her face. Soon, Rarity would feel some of her pain.
…

Check Mate watched the mare leave the bar. The second the door was closed, his gaze slid to the drink in his hooves.

"Crap."

His partner, Stratus, glanced over at him. "What's up with you?" He asked. "We got a job. What's the problem?" Check Mate did not spare him a glance.

"I was really hoping she wouldn't take the deal," he admitted. Stratus scoffed.

"What!" He asked incredulously. "Are you serious? Why not?" Check Mate looked up at that.

"Are you serious?" He asked as he laughed in disbelief. "Who would want to take that? Rob one of the Elements of Harmony? When we're this new? This whole job is tantamount to career suicide." Stratus waved a hoof dismissively.

"Who cares who the owner is? It's a clothes shop. Clothes shops don't have security. It'll be easy." He took a long swig from his drink. Check Mate glared at him.

"You, my friend, need to learn to think in the long term. We could undoubtedly rob the store, of that I have no doubt. The difficulty lies in what repercussions the princesses may undertake against us."

"You're doing that thing again, where you use all those long words and you don't make any sense," Stratus yawned. "Can I just go grab those designs and get this over with?" Check Mate seized him by the shoulders.

"If we simply go in without a plan, we will be discovered and hunted down," he growled at his companion. "We need to scope out the situation, case the joint, so to speak. We need to gather some kind of insurance against retaliation." Stratus rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine." He stood up and went over to the bar.

"Where are you going?" Check Mate demanded.

"My cup is empty. I'm getting a refill."

"We need to plan!"

"Don't look at me. You're the smart one, I just take things that don't belong to me. You figure something out." Check Mate glared at his partner as Stratus took a seat at the bar and beckoned for a refill. He finally looked away and took a long drink from his own cup. There was no good way for this job to end. At best, they would make themselves targets from some of the most dangerous ponies in Equestria. At worst...

Well, they had all seen what happened to Tirek.

To make matters worse, Stratus seemed oblivious to the problem. The pegasus refused to think further ahead then his next action. If he would just listen and follow Check Mate's orders, things would go fine, but he refused. This wasn't the first time they had had this problem, either. It seemed that the two of them had been coming to blows over almost every job lately.

Check Mate was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't notice Stratus slip out the side door of the bar.
…

Stratus wandered over to the boutique. As he made his way through the streets of Canterlot, he thought about his partner. What an asshole. Check Mate was always bossing him around, as though he expected his word to be law. And he insisted on overcomplicating everything. Stealing was simple. Stratus had been doing it for years. But no, now everything had to be planned out, every location had to be scouted, every possibility had to be accounted for. Stratus wondered how long it was before he had to ask permission to use the bathroom.

Still, he had to admit, it wasn't all bad. The money was good, great even, the most he had ever owned. That was the only reason he hadn't left. But there were times he just wanted to tell Check Mate where he could stick his plans and just leave.

Stratus had to stop and ask directions once or twice, but soon enough found his destination. Canterlot Carousel. The building loomed before him, a monument to the greed and waste of the nobility. Stratus shot a glance up and down the street. It was empty, but that could change quickly enough. He had to be fast.

Swifter than an eye could track in the dark, he swooped across the street and inserted a pick into the lock. Rotating it around, he craned his ears for the telltale click of success. As soon as he heard it, he gently pushed the door open. Slipping into the front of the shop, he took a second to survey his surroundings while he waited for his night vision to develop.

Everywhere he looked, he saw dresses, dresses of every shape, size and color. The thought of how much each one cost turned his stomach. A single one of these dresses could have fed him for a year. Yet the nobility seemed to desire a new one every month. And it was Rarity who enabled them to indulge in their greed.

Stratus held onto those feelings. He knew that if he ever thought about the ponies he robbed any other way, he would never be able rob them.

He locked the door behind him to prevent any pony from interrupting his work. Creeping through the shadows in the shop, he slid to the back where he knew the office would be located. He was willing to bet that Rarity would keep her designs in there. Setting his ear against the door, he listened inside. Hearing nothing, he began to push when the silence was broken by the sound of a key turning.

Swiftly he slipped inside the office and shut the door behind him. He could hear a refined voice through the delicate wood.

"How silly of me, forgetting my purse like this. Rarity, darling, you need to keep better track of your things." Stratus turned his head around to see a purse lying on the table next to him, right by a stack of papers. He lunged over as quietly as he could and flipped through them. Each page held a picture of a dress, each more exquisite than the last.

Stratus could hear hoof steps in the main room coming steadily closer. He had only a few seconds before Rarity entered. He snatched up the papers and stuffed them under his cloak. As the door began to creak open, he flung himself back towards the corner.

Rarity entered her office. "There you are," she said to her purse. "How silly of me to forget you." She picked up the purse and slung it over her shoulder. Glancing at the table, she frowned. "Strange," she said, biting her lip. "I could have sworn I left some designs back here. Where are they?"

Stratus pressed himself into the corner on the ceiling. He had managed to maneuver the door between himself and Rarity, but the flimsy cover would not hold long. He needed to make a move or risk discovery. Dropping to the floor with barely a sound, he crept around the door and began slinking through the shadows of the shop. He felt his heart pound in his chest as he counted the steps left to the door. Fifteen...Ten...Five...

Just as he lay his hoof on the door, he heard a shriek. "Thief!" A shimmering blue light surrounded the door, and without turning around, Stratus knew he had been discovered. He threw himself to the side, just in time to avoid the magic blast that ripped through the air. Frantically, he began scanning the room for a second exit. There were no other doors, but across the room was a large window. Stratus threw caution to the wind and charged headlong towards it. He was about halfway there when a force from behind drove him to the floor.

Turning around, he saw that an animated dress had seized him about the waist. Rarity stood in the center of the room, sending a legion of trendy clothing to subdue him. Her face was a mask of pure rage.

Stratus was not strong by any means, but he was wiry and agile, and he managed to wriggle free from the dress's suffocating grip and charge the window. He could hear the flutter of fabric behind him, and knew that he had no time to open it. He seized a mannequin as he ran and hurled it out before him. He lunged forwards just behind it, wings held up to protect his face.

The glass exploded outwards and rained down in a musical barrage, and Stratus rained down along with it. Striking the pavement, he was down for just a second before he took off running. From behind, he could hear Rarity screaming in frustration. He allowed himself a grin. Another job well done.

She didn't deserve this, whispered a voice in his head. She is a good pony. He forced those thoughts down. He couldn't allow himself to think like that. Focus on the thrill, the excitement, he told himself. Survive, no matter the cost.

It was the only thing that mattered.
…

Check Mate looked carefully at the papers before him. In the chair across from him, Stratus nursed several small scratches in his wings. Check Mate studied him carefully for a few seconds, looking for any sign of regret or shame. He found none.

"So. You disobeyed my orders." Check Mate spoke calmly and measured. Stratus had been with him long enough to know that he was furious. He chose to respond with a shrug. Check Mate was not satisfied. "You could very well have just doomed us. We are just two ordinary ponies. We cannot stand before the unbridled might of the princesses."

"That sounds like a problem for you to solve," Stratus responded. He yawned and stretched out. "Either way, I need some sleep. See you tomorrow." He began to rise.

"Sit." The force of the command swept Stratus off his feet and back into his chair before he realized what he was doing. Check Mate was glaring now. Stratus found himself slightly sweating.

"You disobeyed my orders," said Check Mate. "Again. This is not acceptable. You do what I tell you, and you get paid. You disobey, and you receive nothing. Am I understood?"

Stratus glared at him. Weeks of conflict finally boiled over, and he snapped. "No, you're not. You know what your problem is? You treat every pony around you like your slave. Well guess what! I have my own life to live, and it doesn't revolve around your wishes. You want some drone to do what you want? Then find some pony else! I'm out." He rose and stormed out of the bar. Check Mate glared after him, then swore and slammed his fist against the table. That arrogant bastard! Who did he think he was? To Tartarus with him! Check Mate didn't need him. He would just have to find new ponies, ones who would do what needed to be done without question,

Like slaves. The thought pierced through Check Mates thoughts, breaking his concentration. A dam burst in his head, and every interaction with Stratus over the last few weeks played itself out for him. But this time, he was forced to watch with an outsiders perspective. And what he saw did not please him. He had treated Stratus as little more than a tool, a weapon to be used to strike at his enemies.

Just as those who had killed his father had tried to do with him. Until Stratus came and helped him escape. Check Mate nursed his drink for a moment, then rose and left the bar.

He found Stratus in the alley out back. The pegasus sat slumped against the back wall, looking the most depressed Check Mate had ever seen him. All that changed as soon as Stratus caught sight of him. Stratus leaped to his hooves in a heartbeat, his face instantly hard.

"You were right." Stratus physically stumbled back in surprise at the tone of Check Mate's voice. It was the first time he had ever heard him apologetic. "I have not been treating you fairly. I have lived with my desire for vengeance for so many years now that when I had the chance, I let it rule me. I am sorry." The two ponies held eye contact. Stratus looked away first.

"I...I'm sorry, too. I was a jerk back in there. I know how much what we're doing means to you. I shouldn't have snapped." Check Mate watched him for a moment, then smiled.

"I suppose that makes us even." Stratus nodded.

"I suppose it does." It was not much of an apology, but it was all that the two needed.

"Care to get back to our nefarious misdeeds?"

"Lead the way, partner." The two thieves made their way back to the bar. They took a seat at their usual booth. Stratus looked at his partner.

"So, what do we do about the princesses?"

"I actually had an idea about that. It occurred to me that all they need is a good scapegoat to blame. If we give one to them, it will likely curb their desire to hunt for us."

"Got a scapegoat picked out?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I did have one idea. I feel that any pony who wishes to harm the Elements of Harmony is the type of pony I do not mind betraying. What do you think?" Stratus glanced up from his drink.

"Screwing over a client?" He grinned. "That hardly seems professional."

Check Mate smiled back. "It is hardly our fault if our clients cannot protect themselves. Besides; she is not one of us." Stratus looked at him for a moment, then chuckled. Check Mate joined him. The two partners sat laughing in their booth. Outside, the sun began to rise over the city. The new day brought with it new possibilities for all manner of ponies, the good and the bad. The only thing they needed to do was reach out and seize it.

Comments

[StarzGecko]

This is really good! Keep it up

[ShadowLDrago]

The earth pony chuckled. "Is it really fair of you to take us for fools? There is only one shop you can be referring to, and I would prefer not to come into conflict with one who has fought gods and won."

I do love me some Pragmatic Evil.