Fun & Fantasy

by Yosh-E-O

Chapter 13 - Of Gifts and Gripes

“So what do you see?” inquired Parker as Spike stuck his hand into the total darkness that awaited past the gate.

“I think it’s a sort of portal,” the purple dragon replied while realizing how his claw just vanished without any sort of lighting transition upon placing it into the void.

“I vote Leon goes first,” smirked Parker. “He’s totally not afraid of the dark.”

“Hey!” cried the ebon twin. “You’re the one who is aching for a fight. You should go in first.”

“Who has the defense-up diaper on?” glared Parker as he tugged on the frilly Mew-Mew training pant that was all that remained of his ‘armor’. “I doubt I have more than a +1 to defense with this pathetic thing on me!”

Big Mac rolled his eyes as the two went at each other in childish banter over who should do what and who’s being a cheater along with other things.

FWEET!

Everyone turned as they saw Discord holding a coach’s whistle.
“What about the big treasure chest over here?” he inquired while gesturing towards the ornate box . “Don’t you think we should open it up and see what’s inside?”

“I vote ‘No’,” replied Spike with folded arms.

Discord slithered himself towards Spike.
“Where’s your sense of adventure, Garbunkle?” he asked despite knowing the answer. “I’m sure I can’t roll a 1 twice when checking for traps.”

“Why don’t you open it?” growled Spike as he stared down discord. “You like chaos and I’m sure more chaos would only be a benefit to you, Captain Wuzz.”

“Perish the thought,” waved off the draconequus. “You do realize I not only have the best equipment for my character class but also a ‘Princess Wish’ that allows me to fabricate anything I could ever need.”

“You mean you used the special rule of anything you can do out of game you can do in the game?” Big Mac asked rhetorically.

“Hate the game,” shrugged Discord as his smile widened. “Not the player.”

“I say Leon should open it,” stated Parker. “He’s already hogging all the best stuff so why not let him have more?”

“Not true!” the cleric snapped back.

POOF-SHOO

“We have one vote for Leon to open the chest,” tallied Discord on a chalkboard he fabricated. “Any other votes?”

“Forget it!” boomed Leon. “I’ll be the ‘bigger’ brother and just open it!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” growled Parker.

Leon approached the chest and released the latch to open it.
“It means Nixi will know who won’t get milk and cookies tonight because he’s being a potty head!” he replied.

FWOO-THUNK
BUB-BUB-UBBLE-GUSH

“Wah!” cried Leon as a pink substance snaked itself out of the chest and bore itself down into the front of the diaper he had just gotten from Spike. “What’s happening!”

GURGLE-BUB-GUSH

Everyone watched as the pink gel oozed into Leon’s diaper. This changed its color while also appearing to put some sort of status effect on him as his color scheme went from black and purple to pink and red.

BLUB-GUB

TWINKLE-TWINKLE

The fairy appeared above Leon.
“HP and MP restored and increased by 50%,” she said matter-of-factly. “Defense +20- but status condition ‘Toddle-Waddle’ now in effect.”

“Ha-ha!” teased Parker as Leon’s visible body was as girly as the training pants he had gotten from his brother. “You’ve been served!”

Leon went to tackle his brother but found his footing quickly hindered as he tripped and magically spun about in the air to fall on the diaper that was now grey in color with black tabs and a purple landing zone.

The team couldn’t help but laugh as Leon tried over-and-over to get up quickly and dart towards his snickering brother. However the ‘Toddle-Waddle’ condition appeared to make it so all he could do was walk like a duck at a very slow, awkward, and off-balanced way.

“This isn’t funny!” whined Leon. “How can I do anything when I’m like this?”

“Try one of your cleric spells,” replied Parker as he scurried to see if there was anything left in the chest.

“I’m out of MP!” cried Leon towards his ebon brother. “Perhaps you could do something to help me as, like you’d put it, every party needs a cleric and you’d be so dead without me!”

Parker scurried into the treasure chest and was quite disappointed when all he found was a blue-colored trading card with the word ‘Donate’ written on it.
“How stupid!” he grumped. “Who’d want a magic card that gives non-party members your stuff!”

Leon pulled himself to his feet and managed to achieve a degree of balance.
“So tight,” he moaned while unbuttoning his onesie. It was properly snapped on after Spike had helped him with his new ‘armor’ but the chest caused its special effect to triggerand flop open until the danger had cleared. It then refastened after the fairy had informed everyone of what had happened.

“Hey, bro!” stated Parker. “How about I give you this magic card in exchange for that onesie? You clearly don’t need whatever armor bonus it gives.”

“Fine,” pouted Leon as he realized how the onesie genuinely did make it harder to move. Not that taking it off helped a lot but every bit of flexibility was good. “Hold my robe.”

***

Discord, Spike, and Big Mac just waited patiently as the brothers went about griping throughout their exchange.

“Good thing I have my healin’ potions,” stated Big Mac as he used his entire supply on himself and Spike. He was also able to remotely use them on Parker and Leon but they were too busy in their own affairs to realize their HP was recovered.

“Got anything for lost MP?” asked Spike.

“Just three,” the fighter-class pony replied while using them to replenish most of Spike and Leon’s MP.

“What about you?” asked Spike towards Discord. “You have any healing items?”

“Alas I do not,” the draconequus replied. “All my storage is dedicated to enchanted arrows, fanciful teas, and animal charming items.”

Spike rolled his eyes.
“And you get on my case about Rarity,” he stated in a bothered tone. “What do you call your thing with Fluttershy?”

Discord’s eyes went wide as he grew a most ponderous expression across his face.
“We’re just friends, of course!” he replied enthusiastically as he moved alongside Spike and tugged at one of his ear fins. “And, if it were something, it’d have more of a chance than your childish crush on Rarity.”

Big Mac sighed as now two pairs of party members were acting up.
“Don’tcha’ think we should get moseying on,” he said while trotting towards the dark opening.

ROAR!
FWOOM!

“LOSERS!” cried Garble as he shot up from below the crater and into the sky.

PUMPF-CLICK

Everyone was snapped out of their respective actions as they spotted a small treasure chest lying open on the ground.

“Don’t no one bother bickerin’,” stated Big Mac as he approached the box. “I’ll check it out.”

“What’s inside?” worried Spike.

“Looks like some magical artifacts,” replied the armored red Earth Pony. “I have a ‘Detect Effect’ spell I can use to determine if they are any sort of buff-”

BZZT
ZAP-CHOO

“No need!” the twin rodents announced cheerfully after appearing from a ball of electricity that sparked in-and-out of existance.

“Them again?” shrugged Discord. “I’m getting a little tired of this overly cute mouse thing.”

“Artifacts for Sir McBiggun, Garbunkle the Green, and Safety Pants!” chirped the moon mouse.

“Make all spells cost only 1 MP!” cheered the Celestia’s Sun mouse.

CLAP!

“We go now!” they said in unison as they clapped their little paws together. They then bent over, shook their rumps at the party, and pulled off some bizarre reverse lightning bolt to make their exit.

“Did anyone feel like we got healed when they did that taunt?” pondered Spike as he realized his stats were maxed out.

“I’d rather not think on it,” stated Big Mac.

“Yeah…,” trailed Discord. “Perhaps bringing your friend Leon along wasn’t such a good idea.”

Spike didn’t know what to say until he suddenly felt the urge to throw up.

BWARF!

Fire burst from Spike’s mouth before turning into a scroll.

“Got it!” called Discord before quickly reading it. “It says, ‘Dear Everyone: It’s getting past Leon and Parker’s bedtime. Therefore I ask you return them home after you finish what is behind the gate. No stalling or I’ll end the game myself. Yours, Nixi.’.”

Spike, Discord, and Big Mac appeared confused as Leon and Parker simply appeared upset.
“Ah, mom!” they moaned.

BWARF!

Another letter burst from Spike’s mouth that was retrieved by Discord.
“’No buts, young drakes’,” he read as a very curious look appeared on his face. “Now how is she doing this if I turned her into a plush…?”

BWARF!

“Stop asking questions!” gasped Spike as he tried to recover from having a third letter forced out of him. “Let’s just go!”

Discord plucked the letter and read it.

“What’s it say?” the twins asked.

CHAR-CRISP

Discord incinerated the letter into nothing.
“Words not intended for children,” he growled. “Let’s just finish this adventure.”

Spike equipped the magical sapphire pendant from inside the chest, Big mac placed the enchanted sapphire ring on his horn, and Leon slipped the ethereal jewel into an open slot on his staff.

“Onward!” cried Discord as he rushed into the void. His eagerness making everyone else stare towards the Nixi plush in fear of something going on that the draconequus was holding back from them. However it appeared as it always had with Leon cradling it against his side.

“Alright,” shrugged Big mac. “Let’s get a move on.”

The team entered into the darkness beyond the gate with many thoughts on what could possibly be waiting on the other side.