Fun & Fantasy

by Yosh-E-O

Chapter 11 - Refriending Princess Ember

The outcropping Big Mac was galloping towards turned out to be right in front of a massive cave that had an elaborate fortress built into it.

“Here we go!” cried Sir McBiggun as Parker and Leon safely slipped off his back.

FWOOP

“Bring them on!” boomed Parker as he readied his samurai sword for combat against the cloud of colorful dragons swooping ever closer to them.

“Wait!” insisted Leon as he leapt in front of his brother.

“Leon!” barked Parker. “You’re the cleric! The ‘cleric’! Get behind us and start powering us up!”

“No!” Leon snapped back as he raised his staff and firmly pressed the Nixi plush against his side. “I’ve got to do this!”

“Do what?” baffled Parker with obvious annoyance. “Get yourself killed?”

“Hold up,” interjected Discord. “Let safety Pants try whatever it is he wants to try.”

“He’s going to die!” announced the angry ebon dragon.

“Not for real,” dismissed Discord. “Spike and Big Mac, not to mention your mom, made me create this alternate dimension for play purposes where the worst outcome is being sent back to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s Castle of Friendship.”

“EEyup,” nodded Big Mac as he recalled how Discord had put them all in great peril during an arrow storm shot by the Squizzard’s henchmen.

TING

“Fine!” huffed Parker as he slapped his sword upon the stony ground. “Enjoy being by yourself in some froo-froo princess castle!”

“You’re up,” grinned the draconequus as he slapped Leon on his padded bottom and sent him staggering forward. “Show them the power of…” Discord opened his palms, held them towards his sides, and made a rainbow appear to arch from hand to claw. “Friendship.”

Leon narrowed his green eyes, lifted his staff, clenched the plushified Nixi, and called out, “Turn! Be our friends!”

VRRRRRR

“Ooh…,” awed Discord as a massive green light grew from Leon’s staff that burst out towards the flock of dragons. “Didn’t see that coming.”

PA-CHOO

PLOP-CRINKLE
TICKA-TACKA

Leon fell after the spell was cast. He was exhausted and obviously out of magic to do anything else. So he was pleasantly surprised when he opened his eyes to see a bunch of cartoon dragons smiling down upon him.

“Hey,” said one. “What’s happening?”

“Beats me,” another stated. “One moment I felt all depressed and hopeful to make some big red pony feel even more miserable and…”

The dragons spotted Leon, Parker, and the rest of the team.

“Oh!” another dragon chimed in. “You must be here to save Princess Ember!”

“Huh?” wondered Parker as he noticed his fight was clearly not going to happen. “Who’s Princess Ember?”

KA-CLICK
CREEEEEK

Everyone turned to see the entrance to the fortress in the cave was opening. An armored dragon carrying a staff with a blood-colored jewel emerged with a very infuriated look on her face.
“I am!” she boomed. “How dare you challenge my dominance over my horde!”

Parker drew his blade.
“Ooh!” he gleed. “Boss battle!”

“YANK

“Hold up, Rubber Blade,” stated Discord as he took hold of one of Parker’s pink ear fins. “Why don’t we let Safety Pants try that little spell of his again?”

Leon picked himself up and took the staff he dropped off the ground.
“So… tired,” he moaned.

“I’ve got some Aether Potions,” stated Sir McBiggun as he lit his horn and went about using up two of his magic restoration potions on Leon.

“Alright!” cheered the ebon dragon as he felt awake again. “Now see the full power of the team cleric!”

Parker folded his arms as Princess Ember awaited the robed challenger.
“It was you!” she growled while grasping her staff in both hands. “You’ve made me so… so… MAD!”

Leon gulped as he felt the final words of the tall blue dragon hit him like one of the speakers back at home when he or Parker would be listening to their movies too loudly.

“Let’s be friends!” he proclaimed as confidently as he could muster while raising his staff. “Turn and be our friend!”

VRRRRRR

The emerald in the staff radiated with power and showed its brilliant light towards Princess Ember.

SWACK!
SHH-POP

“Huh?” wondered Leon as he watched the infuriated princess use her scepter to hit the growing green light orb and send it flying away like a tee ball.

STOMP!

“DRAGONS DON’T DO FRIENDS!” she cried while quickly swiping her bloodstone scepter down upon Leon’s head.

CRACK!

The sound was heard but no pain was felt as Leon’s onesie quickly snapped open.

“Ha!” announced the proud cleric. “You’ve been defeated for your weapon is powerless against me!”

“Think again, short stuff!” growled Ember as she took a swipe at Leon in which the little dragon was quick to dodge. Perhaps a bit too quick.

“Ha!” laughed Parker. “Since when did you start wearing Princess Mew-Mew training pants, Leon?”

“Princess Mew-Mew…,” trailed Leon as he realized he was now no longer in his thick, comfy, dragon-print diaper and now wearing a very thin, pink pair of training pants that was adorned with cats and hearts.”

“How do you feel now?” teased Ember. “You’re pathetic! You’re weak! You’re lesser than me!”

Parker moved forward and charged his samurai sword with water and ice.
“Just try that on me!” he dared. “I’ll cool you down and send you back to your mommy!”

“Big talk from such a little dragon!” growled Ember as she seemed to charge the scepter with ethereal light.

FWOOSH
SHEE

Parker felt as if a wind had been blown beneath his kimono after the bright flash of red light had resolved. Upon inspection he noticed that the fundoshi he was wearing had gone from being like a baby diaper to a simple and uncomfortable cloth version of itself.

“Seems Safety pants and Rubber Blade have been defeated,” shrugged Discord. “Perhaps you’d like a go at her, Sir McBiggun?”

“Provide me cover fire,” added the red Unicorn knight as he charged his horn and rushed forward.

“Too weak!” announced Ember. “Not strong and tough! I’m strong! I’m tough! And I’m going to make sure nobody ever challenges my authority over all dragons ever again!”

***

Spike huffed and puffed as he pulled himself up every possible shortcut the path had to offer away from the feral Garble. He swore he could hear some ominous music implying that the overpowered bully could pop out from anywhere at any second and he didn’t want to be anywhere along the small slopes, narrow edges, or caught trying to heft himself up to higher ground as the enchanted diaper served to make his legs useless while he swore the bulky thing was doing everything possible to tug him back down.

***

Spike’s face was red with strain as he pulled himself up onto the areana-like platform that the rest of the team had already long been at.

“SHEEE

“And that’s all of you!” cried who Spike quickly recognized as Princess Ember.

Garbunkle the Padded looked to see Ember’s back as he spotted a large mass of dragons looking like they had nothing better to do than shamble haplessly about like zombies. He also saw Parker and Leon appearing on the verge of crying as Big Mac appeared to be unable to stop talking and moving his hooves around wildly. This aspect was even more odd as Spike noticed that Big Mac wasn’t even moving his mouth. It was his voice but all he could do was wave his hooves around like they were under some sort of flailing enchantment. Discord didn’t look any better as he was standing on his feet and, strangely enough, was no longer a chaotic meshup. Instead he was symmetrical with claws, horns, and everything else about him being as non-chaotic appearing as the purple dragon had ever seen.

“ember…?” Spike dared to question.

“WHAT!” she snapped while turning about to see the exhausted hero barely keeping himself on his two feet. “Are you here to challenge my dominance over all dragons, too?”

Spike felt his legs turn to jelly as he fell with a plop upon his diapered rump. He wasn’t ready to be yelled at in such a way and being as exhausted as he was didn’t help matters either.

“A baby?” questioned the agitated princess. “What am I supposed to do with a baby? And a diaper? Dragons don’t do diapers! Dragons don’t do cute! Dragons don’t do everything you are doing! WHY DO YOU EXIST!”

Spike pulled himself up and looked towards Ember.
“What’s gotten into you, Ember?” he asked while still gathering his breath. “This isn’t how to be a good friend.”

“ARGH!” she growled. “DRAGONS DON’T DO FRIENDS!

Spike had noticed how Ember wasn’t acting like herself. He also realized he was somehow really getting under her nerves and making her open for an attack.
“But what attack?” he thought as he slid on his crinkly bottom. It then came to him as he watched her wildly swing the scepter in her right hand. “That’s it!”

“Now what?” questioned Ember as Spike wobbled to his feet and went with looking as all-out adorable as he could. “You’re everything a dragon is not! You shouldn’t even be a dragon! Why aren’t you running away!”

“This is so humiliating,” thought Spike as he slid his claw into his mouth and started to toddle towards the infuriated princess.

“No, no, no!” she boomed while swinging about the staff. “Wrong! Wrong! I’m not your mom! Go back to your mom! Why don’t you have wings! WHY CAN’T I DEPRESS AND BELITTLE YOU!”

“Got her,” beamed Spike to himself as he faked a trip that had him land with a hug around Ember’s waist.

“NO!” she growled while trying to shake off the ‘baby dragon’. “YOU DON’T EVEn HAVE WINGS! YOU ARE PROBABLY ALL WET! WHY WON’T YOU BACK DOWN TO ME!”

YOINK
SHWIP!

With a skillful series of motions, Spike managed to take the Bloodstone Scepter from Ember and was now standing in front of her. His eyes grew in size as the scepter’s crystal let loose a ring of yellow light.

WHOOSH

Ember backed up as Spike pointed the scepter towards her.
“As Dragon Lord, I command you to be friendly and nice again!” he proclaimed.

“Ungh!” groaned Ember as she fell to her knees and a cloud of black fog rose from her body and dissipated into nothingness.

Spike proudly twirled the Bloodstone Scepter in his claw before allowing it to slip down his claw and tap upon the stone ground.
“I still got it,” he thought proudly.