• Published 24th Jan 2018
  • 6,121 Views, 338 Comments

Without You - Dustchu



Without him, she'd be lost to the dead. Without her, he'd be lost to insanity. Together, a human and pony will come together to survive this monster filled hell known as Raccoon City.

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17 - Faded and Broken


ooo000---000ooo


Walking out as strapped as strapped as I was, seemed enough to get my nerves to act up. I had a pump shotgun on my back and two handguns, my knife, and a pony by my side. I mean, she's not really a weapon but she's got some hella power in those legs of hers. But regardless, heading out made me nervous; the Captain didn't seem to care much, but the other officers I wasn't sure about.

Unless they were in on what the captain had planned for the day, that is.

A coup was probably about to happen, and Rainbow and I were gonna have to fight... depending on how it played out.

If it does go as he says, and the majority are on our side... then irons is gonna be outnumbered and outgunned. I grew confident as Rainbow and I walked down the hall. I was strapped as it was, and while there might have been maybe one or two on Irons' side, there were hopefully more people on our side who wanted to get out of this damn place.

Just as I thought about that, the bite I had completely forgotten about suddenly flared up, the sickly burning sensation reminding me of the time limit I found myself with. I don't know how much time I had left but I could feel it just about... the virus was slowly taking over my body, killing cell after cell. I guess I wasn't paying any attention to it before, I had forgotten that I was infected. Now I was starting to feel sick; my stomach churned and my limbs ached, and the bite mark.

It burned.

And with that burn came a lot of itchiness and irritation.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to not start scratching or picking at it.

"How's your bite?" Rainbow's sudden question brought me back.

"Honestly?" I gently placed a hand on the bandage wrapped around my neck and shoulders. It felt warm even though I wasn't touching the bare skin. "It feels like shit, burns and itches like a bitch." I glanced down at her and saw her lips drop into a frown, and a look crossed her eyes.

I'm honestly glad she doesn't know about how the infection works... seeing her worry like that was enough to get my nerves bundled up into a mess.

We kept moving before reaching the lobby where the majority of people seemed to be gathered; police officers, SWAT, and what few of the Umbrella mercs that survived the fight. I saw a few civilians around, huddled up in their own little circles away from the windows, which had shutters dropped down, probably a security measure.

One I hoped would hold out for the time being.

I saw the captain down below. He had gathered a small posse of officers, all of them armed with pistols and a couple with shotguns, and he appeared to be going around and speaking with several others. He glanced up and we locked eyes for a brief moment, an unspoken conversation drifted between us.

"Be ready." His eyes told me.

The coup was probably going to happen soon, I had no idea when but we didn't have much time left... we needed to move and fast. I had no idea how it would turn out, but best to have a plan in place in case things did go sour.

"Hey, Rainbow... we need to have a little talk about something real quick."

I felt her eyes turn to me. "What about?"

I beckoned her to follow me away from any prying ears, and when we reached the far corner, I knelt down and took off my cap for a moment. Rainbow sat next to me and tilted her head, kind of like a curious puppy and listened. "Something serious is about to go down, involving Irons and everyone else in this building."

"Like... what?" She narrowed her eyes and turned to look down into the lobby.

I followed her eyes and saw a group of people moving around, talking in hushed tones. All of them were probably trying to figure out what to do next, little did they know how much time the city had left before...

"The captain down there... he's planning on ousting Irons and taking over," I explained slowly and turned my attention back to her. Rainbow's head turned so fast I almost heard a pop. "I don't know when, it's probably going to go down today... and odds are we're going to get dragged into it whether or not we like it."

"Wait, what?" Rainbow didn't look particularly happy about that.

I didn't blame her.

"We're gonna have to fight, Rainbow." I held up my handgun; the Beretta. "Irons has gotten people killed, and he has to go..."

"Y-you want us to fight other pon-I mean... other people?" She looked down at the group of people in the lobby again, and began to shake. Why?!"

I sighed and placed a hand on her back, above her wings. As I did, I could feel the sweat began to form on my brow, it was really hot all of a sudden. "Because Irons wants everyone dead," I thought about Irons and his plans, to kill every soul in the station to keep the truth of Raccoon City from getting out. I couldn't keep my body from trembling.

I had Dash's attention now, fully. "Wait, what? What?!" She gawked at me, looking at me like I was talking crazy. "Why would he do that? I g-get he's being a jerk bu-"

"He doesn't want the truth of what's going on in the city to get out," I could feel the burning getting worse in my shoulder. I didn't feel quite right, but I didn't focus on that, instead I continued, "This whole outbreak... it's being kept a secret from the outside wo-world-"

"D-Dee." She looked ready to say something, but I didn't stop.

"Irons wants to kill everyone in here, b-because Umbrella... they're paying him to silence any survivors he comes across, which means all of us."

Rainbow's eyes were wide in shock. At least I think it was, could have been anything truthfully, I wasn't able to see her face properly, my vision was blurry as hell from the headache and dizziness. "Wait, how do you know this?!" She asked me.

How did I know what? I shook my head, she was asking stupid questions! I kept my hand from scratching the burning on my shoulder, and just kept explaining. "L-look, that doesn't matter! W-we just need to kill Irons, o-okay?" He held up my pistol and pointed it to the side. Rainbow recoiled. "If he's left alive, we're all going to die here like rats!"

I was resolute and unwavering in my plan. I just had to get the captain and his people together, and we'd storm Irons' office and oust him, and if it came down to it, I'd kill him right then and there!

No... no, he has to die, no talking!

"D-Dee, come on." Rainbow tugged on my arm. "Y-you're acting really weird."

"He ha-has to die... die now."

Yes, yes he had to die! Irons has to die now!

Before I knew it, I was standing and Rainbow was leading me away from the lobby.

She was helping me? Finally, she understood! Yes, she understands why this has to happen!

Rainbow gets it!

The halls around me were long and tiring, my legs hurt. And the paintings were all staring at me, their beady black eyes followed me wherever I went, neverending stares. I felt dizzier the more I stood up, and hungry, really hungry.

Before long we entered a room and Rainbow closed the door.

She pushed me into the middle of the room, and finally spoke again. “Dee, what’s wrong with you!?”

I blinked and focused on her, as best as I could anyway. “Wrong?” What was wrong with me?

“You’re acting like a bucking lunatic!” Rainbow stomped her hoof against the floor. “Why are you so focused on killing him? We should try to get out of here, not try and kill people!” She reared up, and her hooves were on my stomach to brace herself as she stared into my eyes.

“No!” I shook her off, forcing her back. I yanked out my shotgun, I had to kill. “He has to die! Or we die!”

“How do you even know that?!” Rainbow hissed. I felt hotter the more I was standing up, and it only told me that the more time I wasted, the more time Irons had to follow through with his plans!

I growled and tried to move past her, but she held strong and kept me from moving.

She pushed back against me.

Move!

“I’m not moving until you explain!

I felt the sting of something across my face; Rainbow used her wing to slap me!

My arm moved before I could, and connected with her face.

Rainbow fell back onto the floor, holding her bloodied snout with a yelp.

I stomped past her, ripping open the door and storming into the hall as fast as I could. I couldn’t let her stop me!

I was desperate.

Irons had to die!

“Gods damn you, you stupid human!” Rainbow screamed. A glance back, and she was standing in the hall, blood running from her nose and covering her lips. “F-Fuck you! You’re just as bad as they are!”

Dumbass horse.

I kept going, storming through the halls and ready to fight...


ooo000---000ooo


There is no escape ...


ooo000---000ooo


Moments later, I arrived at Irons’ office, and the door was wide open.

I didn’t let a second go to waste before I stormed inside, shotgun aimed at the desk and where Irons would be.

But he wasn’t there, in fact, the office was completely empty.

I started to look around the office; looking for any sign of him, seeing if he was hiding! The place was empty, he wasn't here, he must have left!

Damn him! I’ll find the fucker soon enough!

The lights above went out, and outside I heard a thunderstorm brewing. Rain pelted the windows in the hall, and it occured to me the storm must have tripped the breaker. Being in the darkness like this only increased how much I was getting stressed.

I was getting sick of this shit.

I heard another thump, muffled from the outside. Another one sounded, and another, another… then I heard the screams both outside and inside.

“They’re inside!”

They’re inside.

That must have meant.

I swiftly turned and bolted out of the room. Irons must have let them inside! Too many people to kill off one by one, so he went for the only other option.

He had to have, the bastard!

Shotgun in hand, I made it back to the lobby just in time to be overwhelmed by the sound of gunfire and blood curdling screams.

The lobby was a scene of pure fucking chaos. I began to sweat as I watched as dozens of police officers and civilians were pushed back by a literal tidal wave of undead who flooded in from the front doors. Someone fucking opened the door!

Beyond that, the front gate was wide open, allowing even more of them to stream inside. I shivered and cursed.

Someone let them inside.

“Everyone move to the second floor!” Screamed someone, and I realized it was the captain I had met a while ago. He was near the ladder and helping up anyone he could. “Get a move on, now! Move!”

My eyes danced across the hundreds of bodies writhing down below, every man, woman and child who had been brought here was being slaughtered mercilessly, and those who tried to fight back were brought down.

A few managed to make it to the ladders, but people were moving too slow, especially the elderly and the sick, and children.

I aimed my shotgun at the closest undead, and fired.

The kick of the shotgun was manageable, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch. I kept firing anyway at every damn monster I had in my sights.

All of them were inside because of him!

“Move it people! Move!” The captain bellowed, and fired into the crowd himself.

I even saw some of the Umbrella mercs helping out, but it didn’t take long before they were brought down, especially once the hounds made their way inside. The mutant dogs were swift to maul anyone who wasn’t fast enough.

Damn it all to hell!

I had to find Irons, and stop that bastard before he did anything else to hurt these people!

I turned on my heel and bolted away from the lobby as the screams behind me turned to bloodthirsty growls and snarls.

“Irons!” I bellowed and started busting down doors to rooms. I had to find that bastard before it was too late! “Where are you?!”

Whispers… I heard fucking whispers in the air, and I felt a dozen eyes upon me.

“Everywhere and nowhere.”

I heard, and pumped a fresh shell into my shotty before heading down the darkened hall again.

No lights guided me on this dark path of mine, no sounds could be heard except for those that grew more and more muffled the deeper into the station I went.

“I’m going to kill all of them, and then I’ll be rich!” I heard Irons’ voice chuckle. “They’ll never find out about Raccoon City!”

All of this pain and suffering, all of these people were dying because that bastard was being paid money. He would never even get to use any of it, because he was going to die, whether by my own hand or by the mutant claws of Birkin.

I’ll be sure to put some holes in him before Birkin even gets here!

Ahead of me, someone came winding around the corner; an officer wearing a black uniform and staring straight at me.

“You,” he muttered, and held up his flashlight. “You must be the one who brought everyone here…”

“What of it?!” I grumbled out. I had to fin-

A sudden boom and an impact against my chest knocked me back onto the ground. I yelled out as I slammed into the ground.

“We would have been rich if you hadn’t gotten in the way!”

The fucker shot me!

I scurried back as he closed in on me, and luckily I was able to draw my sidearm before aiming, and I returned fire. He ducked behind the wall at the last second, the fucker! I clambered back to my feet and grabbed my shotgun again, and aimed at the wall before letting off another shot.

“You motherfucker!” Boom went the shotgun, blasting off part of the wall. “I’ll kill you!”

“I found the target, he’s on the second floor!”

Another blast as I rounded the corner, and I saw him running down the hall.

“Die!” I shot at him again, and nicked him in the leg causing him to trip and fall forward.

The bastard yelled out and hit the floor hard, and his gun and flashlight went flying forward as well. I closed in on him, shotgun leveled in his direction as he scrambled for his gun.

Another pump and pull of the trigger, and the shotgun blast impacted the back of his shirt and armor, shredding his fucking skin and knocking the air out of him.

I stepped over and past him before retrieving his handgun and the flashlight. I looked at my chest where he had fired, and saw the bullet had hit the vest head on, but got stuck.

Luck of the draw.

I turned back towards the officer I had downed, and he was struggling to get up. I spat, and made my way over to him before using my foot to turn him over.

Aiming my handgun at him, I stared into his eyes.

“Where the fuck is Irons.” I didn’t ask, I was demanding to fucking know.

The cop coughed up blood, and glared at me. “I’m n-not telling you sh-shit!”

I could hear growling from down the hall, and that told me the damned monsters had found a way up here.

Rainbow.

The name crossed my mind, and I felt angry before backing up.

“Have fun being someone else’s meal then.”

I turned my back on him and ran away, shotgun aimed for ready fire, and my handgun holstered as my new flashlight shined the way for me.

I heard the cop behind me beg, trying to get me to stop and don’t leave him behind.

Once I ran around the corner, I heard the growling focus on that one point…

His blood chilling screams filled the hall as he was devoured.

“Irons!”

I arrived at one of the halls leading towards the outside, probably the fire escape leading up to the roof.

At the end of the hall I saw him, the fat son of a bitch himself, Chief Irons. He had his back to the window, and in his hands I saw a small rectangular device.

“You must be the bastard who put a wrench into my plans,” Irons growled out as I aimed my gun. He held up the device he was holding. “Ah ah ah~”

“It’s over, Irons.” I told him, shotgun leveled at him. “You’re not killing anymore people.”

“Bit late for that,” He chuckled and pressed a button I didn’t see on the object he held. “Hahahaha!”

The building shook as an explosion sounded, from where I didn’t know. “What did you fucking do?!”

“Now there’s nothing to stop them from coming!” Irons backed up towards the window, that insane smile still on his fucking face. “They’re all going to die, and I’m going to be rich!”

“What did you fucking do?!” I pumped the gun and loaded in a new shell.

He just grinned wickedly at me.

And behind him, outside of the window, I saw the bright orange red light of fire spreading, and could see black smoke spiraling upwards.

“I’m doing my job!” He whipped around and jumped out of the window, bursting through it. He landed on a fire escape outside before heading up.

“You shit!” I gave chase, quickly running down the hall before jumping out of the window.

I landed outside in the pouring rain and saw the source of the fire. One of the large walls that surrounded the station had been blown apart, and the smell of burning gasoline was so damned strong, it almost burned my nose.

He set an explosive down there, and now with the resulting explosion, it was letting in even more of those fucking things! All of them flooded in from the outside and descended on the refugee camp, on the innocent civilians who gathered here for safety.

“No!” I screamed at Irons, who was running upstairs. “You’re a fucking monster!”

“Hahaha!”

I sprinted up the steps after him, firing my shotgun at the railing as I tried to get a bead on him, but I kept fucking missing! Or my shot didn’t land!

“Get back here you coward!”

I chased him up several stories as we arrived on the rooftop, far away from the helicopter that was still sitting there.

I didn’t find Irons until something hit me upside the head, knocking me aside and making me drop my shotgun.

I landed on my side, but managed to roll and recover myself before getting back up.

Fucker!

Irons stood in front of me, Iron Pipe in his hands.

“This is it boy.” He chuckled as smoke rose from all corners of the city, and fires burned out of control. “You’re going to die here, just like the rest of them!”

I had three handguns on me, and I pulled out my beretta and aimed it straight at him. “That’s where you’re wrong!” I screamed at the man, and closed in. My vision grew blurry when I did, and my neck and shoulder burned like fucking fire. “Nng!” I gripped onto it, momentarily losing my focus.

I heard Irons running, and before I knew it he had swung at me, and got me in the back.

I was knocked to the ground and wasn’t given any chance to get back up before a foot connected with my chest.

I grunted and was sent flying.

His fucking kick was strong!

I landed on the ground nearby, “Hrrrg!” I coughed up blood and gripped my stomach, that bastard!

“Hahaha!” Irons cackled once again. “You’ll die on this rooftop, die just like the rest of them! You cretin!”

I struggled, and the pain in my neck and chest only got worse. I couldn’t fucking move as fast as I wanted to move, and it was annoying me to no end.

I had to get the upper hand here!

I spat out blood and fought off the pain in my body, and stood up. “You fat fuck!”

“Still got some fight in ya? Well, come on!” Irons goaded me on, swinging his pipe. It made me wonder why he wasn’t using his pistol.

My eyes focused on him, tunnel vision took over and before I knew it I was charging him. He swung at me, but I dodged and ran straight into him.

I hit the fat fucker with everything I had and knocked him down into the ground, and quickly straddled him before throwing a fist right into his face.

Blood flew once it made contact, and he yelled and growled, but I didn’t let up and threw another punch, and another.

I kept punching him with everything I had, each hit landing on his face and pummeling him into the roof’s hard gravel surface.

“Ahhhhh!” I yelled during my fist throwing spree.

A single hit from him knocked me aside, and he had the upper hand this time. He got up and kicked me as hard as he could in the side.

I tried to roll away, which proved difficult enough already. The rain had caused the roof to become slick, making moving quickly fucking hard to achieve.

I still tried!

I managed to get back onto my feet just as Irons closed in on me with his pipe; I dodged a swing from him and swung my leg into his chest.

When my leg connected, I followed up and tackled him again; but instead of bringing him back down to the ground again, I kicked him hard in the chest and spun around on my heel, bringing around my leg and smashing it into his head.

He stumbled back but managed to stay on his feet. His nose began bleeding, the rest of his face was getting bruised, and he was growling.

I have to kill him!

“You had to ruin all of my plans!” He screamed as the rain poured down even harder. “You bastard!” He began to laugh as a hand slapped at his face. “I could have been rich!”

“You’re trying to kill innocent people!” I yelled, and threw a fist at him. He backed up just in time and shoved me away, and I almost slipped on the rooftop.

“They’re all dead anyway! Hahahaha!” He cackled, and somewhere, I heard the sounds of something starting up. “This city is doomed, doomed! You’ll never make it out of here alive!”

I only just then noticed he began reaching for his revolver.

“Shit!” I ducked away and yanked out my other gun from my belt.

We both raised our guns at the same time, yet I was faster on the pull.

My heart pounded in my chest as my finger pulled the trigger. My sights lined up with his chest as his revolver beared down on me.

I saw his sickened face glaring towards me, that twisted smile of his as the fires behind him burned, fueled by the explosion and whatever was down there.

My pistol kicked, the bark of the round exiting the chamber sounding even over the rain. The first bullet hit him in the chest and he managed to get a shot off, and grazed my shoulder armor.

I almost slipped again, but slammed my off-center foot into the ground to steady myself before firing again.

Again.

Again.

And again!

Each one hit him dead on in the chest and stomach, blood spewed forth and onto the rooftop and he collapsed backwards, landing against the railing that kept people from falling off.

Storm still coming down, I took several deep breaths and closed in on him.

He struggled to stand back up as his grip on the gun loosened, and he dropped it onto the ground. Legs buckling under his weight, he collapsed onto a knee as blood oozed from his lips.

My heart was beating in my ears, drowning out much of everything around me. My bite wounds were burning fiercely, throbbing and pulsating as the virus spread further, and all I could focus on was killing this son of a bitch.

Irons chuckled and fell onto his ass as I closed in. “H-heh… hehehe,” He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, an ear to ear grin on his face. “I-”

My handgun spoke for me.

It was over so quickly it almost didn’t feel real to me. He slumped over as the hole in his head oozed crimson. One of his eyes went cockeyed, mouth agape in a cut off sentence… the light faded from his eyes, and soon enough.

Irons was dead by my hand.

I felt a pair of eyes on me after a minute and turned to my right.

The door leading down into the station was wide open, and standing in the cold downpour was…

Rainbow Dash.

I saw her lips move, but i couldn’t hear a word she said over the rain. I could only imagine what it had to have been.

A sudden sharp pain in my shoulder forced me onto my knee, “Ahh!” I gripped my bite wound and struggled not to pass out as a wave of intense pain washed over me. Nausea took hold of my innards, dizziness flooded my being.

My mouth filled with something oily and tasting of copper, and I spat it out onto the ground in front of me, and felt a pain in my stomach. Brackish blood stained the ground in front of me, and the rainwater diluted it, making it run down.

S-shit… not much time left for me.

I heard Rainbow approaching me, “Dee?”

K i l l h e r

F e a s t o n h e r f l e s h ~

N-no!

My gun raised before I could even think and I aimed at her. I flicked my head up to meet her gaze, and stared at her through the bangs that escaped my cap.

She stood stock still, body frozen and eyes wide. I could see her wings spread out wide and she looked ready to say something, but she didn’t.

Neither of us did anything, or said anything for a good few minutes.

Everything in my body burned like hellfire, and I knew the virus was slowly closing in on completely eradicating any semblance of my humanity.

I could feel it, deep in my soul as it began to fade.

“D-Dee...”

“N-no.” I growled out. I held a hand against my face, and it felt cold to the touch. “Stay b-back.”

“J-just… come on! We gott-”

The loud clap of my handgun drowned out whatever it is she was trying to say.

Rainbow still stood, her eyes wide as a trail of blood trail down from her cheek.

I grazed it, whether on purpose or by accident, I didn’t know, I…

I shot her.

That cold realization as the only thing on my mind. I just shot Rainbow Dash, I missed entirely but…

She slowly backed away, her wings were spread.

“W-wait, Rainbow I didn’t-”

She kicked off of the roof and gave one hard flap of her wings before propelling herself up into the air, through the rain. She disappeared into the storm, leaving me behind on the rooftop of the station.

She can fly again.

I was halfway to standing, and I collapsed back onto my knees.

“Aahhhhhhhh!” I slammed my fist into the roof. I was so numb I didn’t even register the pain.

The thunder rolled and clouds loomed over the city like thick blankets, covering the city in a torrential downpour of bone chilling rain. The street lights flickered and buzzed around me from previous damage from car crashes—somewhere a fuse box exploded in a flash of light and sparks, briefly lighting up the roof and what lay in front of me. Lightning struck somewhere-a metal tower most likely and sending sparks flying.

I just sat on my knees after the fight. My clothes and armor were soaked from the downpour and weighing me down, it felt so overwhelming to be like this, but it wasn't just the clothes weighing me down, it was everything else in my life that decided on coming back like a flood; the dam of emotions I kept locked down was finally starting to break apart, piece by piece.

And all I could do was stare at the gun in my hands, the loaded Beretta I had found a while back.

It was heavy in my hands—heavier than before, but that meant it was ready for whatever; killing an undead and the others behind him, taking down an armed assailant with a powerful shot.

Or maybe something a little more friendly.

I felt another part of me come crashing down like a tower—I felt the pain of my past failures flooding through, everything that had beaten me down; the weight of my sins and promises; the burning fires of rejection; the hollow feeling of loss.

I wanted to throw up, but I couldn’t.

I don’t know how long I had sat there, everything whirling around inside of my head like a whirlwind. I felt dizzy and could barely focus, I felt sick to my stomach and wondered how much longer I had until the virus took over completely.

After a while, I heard a helicopter take off from nearby, and the sound of the blades cutting through the storm passed overhead before I saw it; the police helicopter everyone was on, the captain and the others must have gotten it started and grabbed who they could to evacuate. I saw them fly out towards the southeast portion out of the city. I could see a few souls giving me a passing glance as they made a circle around the building.

Many of them were hurt, suffering from either bite wounds, bullet holes, or the loss of friends and family.

But no one looked quite like the magenta eyed mare who flew next to the chopper.

She looked the most hurt out of all of them as she flew alongside them, leaving the city and me behind.

Another dizzying few minutes and the chopper was out of sight, flying away from the station as the horde of undead crashed against it like a tidal wave.

We only had one way out of this place and there was no hope for a stand-off with the horde of undead below. Irons made sure we didn’t have any chance of survival with those bombs of his, and with me saving those people at main street, I got even more people killed as a result, another failure of mine to chuck onto the pile. I was too blinded by the adrenaline, too overconfident in my abilities to lead people and get them to safety.

I thought if I knew what was going to happen, I could change things, but I made things even worse somehow.

I failed them and I could barely stomach it. Everything was starting to crash down on top of me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I cracked completely and fell apart.

I didn't deserve to survive this long while so many others died horrific deaths.

I've been running off of an incomprehensible amount of luck this entire time, sapping it from others to keep myself and Rainbow going, that was the only explanation I had for my still being alive. How else could I have survived being thrown from a chopper when it blew up, or jumping across a horde of undead and managing to keep myself from getting bit, or falling from a second story window!?

In my chest I felt it... the icy fingers clawing up to grab at my heart, to try and squeeze it. There was nothing I could do to actually stop it. My skin prickled inch by inch, my eyes burned, god my heart hurt so bad, every throb sending a pulse of pain through my being.

Rainbow.

I hurt her... I hurt her so many times and I could never forgive myself for that.

i was so goddamn stupid, I was always stupid and this time my stupidity got the better of me until I actually hurt one of the closest people to me in this godforsaken hellscape. I protected her and she protected me, I wanted to keep her safe, I wanted to see her smile, I wanted to get her out of here and away from this fucking nightmare!

I had the gall to snap at her like a damned fool, to lose my senses and attack her like a bastard.

I called her a coward... a coward for running away.

Why was I any better?

I hung my head and brought up my hand, and the cold bite of metal touched my forehead. I opened an eye and saw the top of the beretta.

Maybe this was a sign or something.

Maybe I was meant to come here, to Raccoon City, meant to come here and suffer for my sins.

Maybe this was my own personal hell.

The hammer pulled back, and locked into place with a click.

What was I going to shoot?

The body of Police Chief Irons lay a few feet from me, his head blown off after I had executed him. Dumb bastard deserved a slower death for what he wanted to do, the only other regret I had was that I didn't make him suffer for what he had planned, not just for the station but for those inside of it.

I hated a lot of things.

But I hated dirty cops even more.

I felt the cold and wet metal slide across to my temple, moving the end of it up and down as the gun nut in me screamed that this was a bad idea, and yet, I couldn't bring myself to listen very well.

I trembled. The gun shook in my hand as the sounds grew louder all around me, every drop of water, every crack of lightning, scream, gunshot, moans of the undead, the shrieking of monsters.

"Don't give up, not now!"

I could feel it in my heart, growing more hollow and empty by the second.

Everything grew hazy to the point I couldn't...

I just couldn't focus on anything.

"Please... don't..."

Off in the distance, I heard that voice, soft like a whisper...

Begging and pleading with me.

I felt something against my temple, flat and pressing against it.

My finger barely grazed the trigger.

And then.

"NO!"

I pulled.

BOOM

Author's Note:

"Maybe... I should just do it."

"Nobody will miss me..."

"I'm sorry, Rainbow."