This story had potential, but the writing needs to be fleshed out and the plot needs to be taken seriously. Subjects like incest or rape should not be joked around with in any story, especially one that looks like it's attempting to be serious.
I'll never understand why people would like something like this. This is a typical repugnant OOC bullshit story that's trying to be funny/serious and failing at both. How could anyone take this seriously? Good fanfics seem plausible in the canon, while terrible ones (like this one) are just a cry for help/attention. And yes, there is a way to make a gore story plausible in the FiM canon. They live next to Tartarus for crying out loud.
It doesn't help that it's written by someone that's inept, either.
The grammar is terrible, the dialog isn't fleshed out, the plot is ridiculous, pretty much everyone is out of character, it's just bad.
On the other hand, even if you did fix everything, the story would still suck. You can only polish a turd so much until it becomes stained into the cloth.
While I am fascinated by a crazed Twilight Sparkle, like from Lesson Zero, I am afraid I cannot take incest seriously.
...
This is like and rolled into a crazed Twilight Sparkle from Lesson Zero. Incest cut the line there. Grammar errors are numerous, and the plot... makes no sense to me. Is this what they mean by "a sibling's love"?
Sorry. While this concept is interesting, I can't take any story seriously with incest in it. So, while it's interesting in concept, Twilight is far too OOC for me to take anything like this seriously.
oh hell the voice in my head is back atleast its in someone elses head... wait nm mines more wrathful and demented this one is lustful, loud and cunningly crazy kikikkikikikikikikikiki im sure she will love the asylum when this is all over and shes brang there after rapeing armour and killing shinings wife.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/299/702/37e.jpg
Prepare for shitcane Twilight Sparkle!
This story had potential, but the writing needs to be fleshed out and the plot needs to be taken seriously. Subjects like incest or rape should not be joked around with in any story, especially one that looks like it's attempting to be serious.
OH LAWDY
HE WILL KILL HER AND SHE WILL LOVE IT AND ANGRY SEX WILL ENSUE. RIght?
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t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUa7gBRu-6Qt4P0_4IWM5iNzCipHTNof1glvVhRpByFJ1KPwoy5w
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Now on a more serious note. May I ask what inspired you to write this story?
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914879 I wish I knew....
i.imgur.com/X5Jn6.png
What. The. EFFITY-JEFFITY?!
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While were all posting memes of some sort.
i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/Jared631/dafuq.jpg
914879
Thoughts of incest by a purple pony.
Get one with it!!!!
dl.dropbox.com/u/12875849/reactions/1329030999203.jpg
I'll never understand why people would like something like this. This is a typical repugnant OOC bullshit story that's trying to be funny/serious and failing at both. How could anyone take this seriously? Good fanfics seem plausible in the canon, while terrible ones (like this one) are just a cry for help/attention. And yes, there is a way to make a gore story plausible in the FiM canon. They live next to Tartarus for crying out loud.
It doesn't help that it's written by someone that's inept, either.
The grammar is terrible, the dialog isn't fleshed out, the plot is ridiculous, pretty much everyone is out of character, it's just bad.
On the other hand, even if you did fix everything, the story would still suck. You can only polish a turd so much until it becomes stained into the cloth.
915103 Remember; this is the internet after all, never question it's sanity.
914879
Beauty.
In its purest form.
915222
Hah.
...
While I am fascinated by a crazed Twilight Sparkle, like from Lesson Zero, I am afraid I cannot take incest seriously.
...
This is like and rolled into a crazed Twilight Sparkle from Lesson Zero. Incest cut the line there. Grammar errors are numerous, and the plot... makes no sense to me. Is this what they mean by "a sibling's love"?
Sorry. While this concept is interesting, I can't take any story seriously with incest in it. So, while it's interesting in concept, Twilight is far too OOC for me to take anything like this seriously.
why do I like incest so much?('');
914959I announce this as wincest officially
915072 YES, GET ON WITH IT!
evilengineering.com/gallery/d/38658-1/mother-of-god-super-troopers.jpg
oh hell the voice in my head is back atleast its in someone elses head...
wait nm mines more wrathful and demented this one is lustful, loud and cunningly crazy
kikikkikikikikikikikiki im sure she will love the asylum when this is all over and shes brang there after rapeing armour and killing shinings wife.