Twinkle/TOCP's Thirty Minute Ponies Stories

by Twinkletail

Prompt #45-B: In Which Typicalmod is an Idiot and Makes A Bad Joke

(I decided to write two stories for this prompt, because Applejack is best pony)

The Prompt: Everypony loves Applejack.

Applejack dragged her hooves into the house. Today was a very long day for her, as it often was. After all, it was a tough job being a sportswriter in Ponyville. Not a lot of ponies took much interest in the local hoofball team, but still, Applejack worked hard to make every single article she wrote a big one. Today, though, had been especially tiring. She had nearly been knocked off of her hooves by a big burly hoofball player while standing on the sidelines during their practice and interviewing the coach. All she wanted to do now that she was home and not crippled was sit on the couch and watch TV.

"Applejack!" Twilight said, trotting into the room and looking generally harried. "Where have you been? You're a half hour late getting home from work, and I've been stuck in the house all day taking care of the kids!" Before AJ could even say a word, Apple Bloom ran down the stairs.

"Mooooom! The twins won't stop throwing things at me!" Bloom whined, stomping her hooves. AJ turned around to respond to this, but was met by a wadded-up paper ball to the face. She stared at Pound and Pumpkin Cake, who were already loaded up with more ammo.

"Alright, you two," AJ said. "That's enough! Y'all stop throwin' things at yer sister an' Ah!" The twins giggled and ran back upstairs.

"Thanks, mommy," Bloom said, then turned tail and headed upstairs.

"See, Twi?" AJ said. "Now THAT is good parentin'! Why couldn't you do that?" Twilight rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Do you want to know what I did today?" Twilight asked, calmly and evenly. AJ braced for impact.

"...A lot, because you're a fantastic wife and mother?" AJ asked, hoping this would quell the savage beast brewing within Twilight.

"I woke up to the twins jumping on me," Twilight said. "You'd already left because you had to be up and out for your biiiiig interview. I made breakfast, then I had to clean breakfast off of the floor because the kids thought it would be funny to hurl their food at each other instead of eating it. Then Bloom was busy complaining that her bow was old and that all the other fillies had much newer, nicer bows, so I had to take her out to get a new bow. We went to SIX DIFFERENT STORES before she was satisfied, and the bow cost twenty bits! So I very calmly suggested that maybe she get a less expensive bow. She told me she hated me, so I bought it anyway out of guilt. Then I got home to see that your dear mother had let the twins have candy before lunchtime, so I had to try my hardest to calm down two rampaging sugar-high two year olds while also keeping the house nice and tidy AND dealing with your mother. Who, by the way, is coming over with your father and brother for dinner; a bit of knowledge that I did not know until she told me that YOU had said it was okay! So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a bit too exhausted to stop the twin S.S. Paperbombs from attempting to sink the Bloom Boat!" Twilight breathed heavily as she finished. AJ just stood there, trying to take it all in.

"...Did you say mah family's comin' over fer dinner?" AJ asked weakly. Before Twilight could answer, the door swung open.

"Applejack!" Rarity gushed happily. "Thank you so much for inviting us for dinner tonight."

"Yeah, dinner, right," Rainbow Dash said, walking past the group. She sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. "I'll eat at halftime."

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity said. "Your daughter invited us over for dinner, not to watch television! You could have watched television at home!"

"I tried!" Rainbow responded. "You wouldn't let me!" AJ just shook her head.

"Where's Big Mac?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, he's bringing the food over," Rarity said, as Big Mac trudged into the house, carrying trays of food on his back.

"...Ya came over fer dinner, but ya made dinner yerself?" AJ asked, confused.

"Oh of course, darling!" Rarity said. She turned to Twilight and smiled. "I know my daughter prefers my cooking."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Twilight said, grinding her teeth. Rarity shrugged innocently.

"Oh, it's nothing against your cooking, Twilight," Rarity answered. "I just know what Applejack likes." Twilight clenched her teeth and looked at Applejack with a death glare.

"Are you going to let your mother talk to me like that?" Twilight asked, venom in her tone.

"You should see how she talks to me!" Rainbow quipped from the couch.

"I have to treat my wonderful child well!" Rarity said, pinching AJ's cheek and smiling.

"Ah have ta treat mah wonderful child well," Big Macintosh echoed in a deep, mocking voice.

"Oh hush, Big Macintosh," Rarity said. "You know I treat you well also." Big Mac stared at Rarity for a moment. Rainbow Dash laughed from the couch.

"When Applejack turned 18," Big Macintosh said, "Ya gave her a car. When Ah turned 18, ya gave me cab fare." Rainbow laughed even louder from the couch.

"Oh, stop it," Rarity said. "Let's all just sit down like a big, happy family and eat."

"Who's happy?!" Rainbow called. Rarity disregarded this and helped Big Mac set the table. She deliberately placed an empty dish in front of Rainbow.

"You can have your food when you join the family," Rarity said as she returned to the table.

"If I eat your dinner now, I won't survive to halftime!" Rainbow said, before turning her attention back to the game. Applejack sat down at the table, still being stared at by Twilight.

"I can't believe you," Twilight said.

"But ya still love me?" Applejack asked, smiling.

"Everypony loves Applejack," Big Macintosh droned with a roll of his eyes.

Comments

[Makokam]

I can count the number of times I've seen this show on one hand and that was exactly how I remember it. The use of Rarity and Rainbow Dash as AJ's parents doesn't make any sense from a logical point of view...or maybe it does, because... whatever. They were all perfectly cast. 20x better than the other one you did for this prompt.