Twinkle/TOCP's Thirty Minute Ponies Stories

by Twinkletail

Prompt #22: The Swarthy Sea Stories of Captain Pinkbeard and First Mate Flutters

The prompt: Pinkie Pie becomes a pirate. Who is her first mate, and whom do they plunder?

"Yarrr!" Pinkie growled, waving her cardboard sword in the air. She realized shortly after this expulsion that she may have been just a teensy-weensy bit too loud, as was made evident by her first mate ducking for cover under the closest desk.

"Whoops! Sorry, First Mate Flutters!" Pinkie said with a smile. "Oh wait! I'm a pirate! I'm not supposed to be nice! Ooh, but I can't be mean to you, Flutters! You're too nice and sweet and NOPONY could be mean to you! I'll have to be a two-face pirate or something, where I'm nice to my first mate but mean to everypony else! Ooh, but I dunno if I can really be that mean...I'll just be slightly rude! I'm Pinkbeard, the slightly-rude pirate! Eeeheeheeee, this is already so much fun!"

Fluttershy slowly poked her head out from behind the desk to get a good look at Pinkie. Pinkie was standing about 5 feet away from the desk. She was wearing a tri-cornered cap, an eyepatch, and a big puffy pink beard. Out of other ponies, this might have been peculiar, but Pinkie had costumes for pretty much everything.

"Umm..what are you doing, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked, everything below her eyes still obstructed by the desk. Pinkie responded by plunking a pirate hat on Fluttershy's head, eliciting a timid "Eep" from her.

"We're being pirates!!" Pinkie exclaimed giddily. "I'm Captain Pinkbeard, the most thought-of-as-rude pirate to ever scourge the streets of Ponyville! And you're First Mate Flutters, because I think it'd be fun to do this together and because you look really cute in that hat!" Fluttershy blushed, hiding behind her mane. She did kind of like the hat.

"What exactly are we doing as pirates?" Fluttershy queried, glancing up at the one corner of the hat that she could see and blowing her mane out from in front of her face.

"Yarr! We be going to the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse!" Pinkie said, diving behind the desk and slipping under Fluttershy. Fluttershy blinked a few times from her new position on Pinkie's back. She tried to ask more questions, but Pinkie gave her no time, whisking her quickly outside. Their ride was waiting for them; a red wagon with planks of wood glued to the sides.

"How do you like our ship?" Pinkie asked, not even waiting for an answer. "The S.S. Yay We're Pirates And This Is Our Awesome Ship And We're Gonna Go Pirating!" Fluttershy glanced at it. Pinkie had painted the name onto the "ship", and it wrapped around the entire thing. Pinkie deposited her first mate into the ship and took the reins. "A good captain steers their ship with an unmatched skill! Off we go!!!" Fluttershy again tried to get a word in, but her question was replaced by a startled yelp as the pink pony took off, pulling the "ship" down the road.

------

"Now remember, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said as they arrived at the clubhouse. "We're going to go in there, and you're going to demand that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle sing us a song!"

"A song?" Fluttershy asked, looking quite confused. "Why a song?" Pinkie didn't answer. Instead, she burst into the clubhouse.

"YARRR!" Pinkie shouted. "WE BE PIRATES!"

"Um...yes," Fluttershy said, trotting in after Pinkie. "Pirates."

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had been drawing before this interruption. They looked at the two adult ponies as if they each had two heads.

"Uh...what're ya doin'?" Bloom asked. Pinkie nudged Fluttershy, who nodded and stepped forward.

"Um..." Fluttershy started. "...Do you think you could please sing us a song? Um...if that's okay...if you want to..."

"Not like that, First Mate Flutters!" Pinkie said. "We're pirates! We take what we want! We don't ask!" Pinkie bounced up to Bloom and pointed her cardboard sword at her and her friends. "Yarr! Ye be singing us a fine sea chantey, or ye be walking the plank!" Bloom looked at Scootaloo, who looked at Sweetie Belle, who looked back at Bloom.

"Whaddaya say, girls?" Bloom asked.

"Playing pirates is a lot more fun than the drawing we were doing!" Scootaloo responded. Sweetie nodded in approval. With that, Bloom turned back and put on a look of mock terror.

"Yes sir, ma'am, sir!" Bloom said quickly. "Whatever ya say! Jus' don't make us walk the plank!!" Pinkie smiled and sat down on the floor, pulling Fluttershy into a sitting position next to her. The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other with a smile, then went into the only song they all knew as a group.

"Look, here, are three little ponies!" Scootaloo sang, as the other two began to dance. "Ready to sing for this crowd! Listen up, cause here's our story! I'm gonna sing it..."

"VERY LOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUD!!!" the three little ponies sang together.

------

A few minutes later, Captain Pinkbeard and First Mate Flutters exited the clubhouse, having got what they apparently wanted. Pinkie trotted happily back to the ship, singing the Cutie Mark Crusaders' song as she did so. Fluttershy remained quiet for a bit. She had so many questions, but she didn't want to be rude and interrupt Pinkie's singing.

"Great job, First Mate Flutters!" Pinkie said as she finished singing and stood in front of the "ship." Fluttershy waited a moment to see if Pinkie would go on, and, when she was convinced that she was not, spoke up.

"Um...I don't mean to question you, Pinkie," Fluttershy said. "But what was the point of all that? We didn't even take anything from them...um, not that I wanted to take anything from them...they're such nice little fillies...but still, I thought that was what pirates did?" Pinkie laughed a hearty laugh.

"Of course we took something!" Pinkie said, bouncing. "They sang for us, and I just sang their song!"

"...What does that mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"We're pirating music!" Pinkie answered, giggling. Fluttershy tilted her head.

"Um..." the pegasus whispered. "I don't think that's what pirating music means..." Pinkie looked confused for a moment.

"...Oh well!" Pinkie said. "It was still fun! Now, where do you keep your black jumpsuits? We're gonna be ninjas tomorrow!"

Comments

[Makokam]

Haha. Did not see that joke coming
I like the idea od Fluttershy being the first mate. It provides a nice subject dissonence. And is also the only pony Pinkie could drag along on this. Rainbow would have gone along with it, but not without getting some questions answered first, thereby ruining the joke.