Much Ado About Friendship Part 1: The Mare in our Moon
ACT 1
PROLOGUE
CELESTIA
Two sisters, both alike in royalty,
In fair Equestria, where lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where sister’s strife makes sisters hooves unclean.
One blessed us with day, that most revered
Of times, so she too fain in thought was kept;
One blessed us with night ponies so feared,
for this the younger sister nightly wept.
Resentful then became she, so she did
Deny her duty and refuse her name;
Her sister's words unheeded, true self hid,
Through “Nightmare Moon” she cursed pitious fame!
Eclipsed was dawn and day to draw, yet our
Celestia, choice made reluctantly,
Took arms with things that ponies say held power,
Harnessed, “The Elements of Harmony!”
Thence twas that “Nightmare” locked long in her own
fair moon, lost permanently royal post,
And ponies seldom even make a moan
Of her among the daily horde or host.
“What then became of her position?” ask.
The eldest, rightful on the throne and right
To bring about the sun, took up the task
Of raising her lost sister’s moon at night.
TWILIGHT
Hark, tis familiar, yet I do not know
Where, by curiosity, I shall go…
SCENE 1, A Bridge
Enter TWILIGHT right, TWINKLESHINE, LEMON HEARTS, and MINUETTE left
TWINKLESHINE
There you are, Twilight! We pray you to join
Moon Dancer and ourselves in the courtyard.
A get together, nothing more. Prithy come?
TWILIGHT
Oh, sorry, girls... I have a lot of care
To give to these, my studies mine, forsooth.
[Aside] “The Elements of Harmony” I know...
Exit TWILIGHT
TWINKLESHINE
Lo, tis a common scene. For her intents
In going back to school in her tower,
It is most retrograde to her friendships.
Exeunt
SCENE 2, Twilight’s Tower
Exit SPIKE, with a present. Enter TWILIGHT, cutting the exit of SPIKE, slamming the door in his face.
TWILIGHT
Oh, Spike! Where art thou Spike? Oh, there thou art.
Make haste at once! Predictions and Prophecies
Is just the thing I need and you must find...
Prithy, that box?
SPIKE
A gift. At least, it was.
TWILIGHT
Oh, Spike! Our hours are best not spent on frills.
SPIKE
But we are said to be at rest!
TWILIGHT
She shuffles through the books
Nothing.
Nothing! Nothing. Nothing will come of nothing!
Ugh, Spike!
SPIKE
Merry, tis o’er here!
TWILIGHT
Ah, Elements…
Aha! The Elements of Harmony!
“Thou seeketh ‘Mare in our Moon’, scholar!” The same?
SPIKE
The Mare in our Moon? That old pony’s tale?
TWILIGHT
Aha! The Mare in our Moon, eureka!
To quote the book:
“The Mare in our Moon
Is a myth of times long since past,
A pony of great and terrible powers
Whose intent on empire was
For not, for she was bested by the
Elements of Harmony. The moon
Was made her prison, yet on the
Day most lasting of the year
Fifty score hence, the mare will
Be loosed of her bridle, and her
Time nocturnal will be made
Perpetual. The stars will aid
in her escape, and she will bring about
an everlasting night.”
My Spike, you know the rub?
SPIKE
Not I, lady.
TWILIGHT
Then scribe my words as I do dictate them.
To her, our princess, this note goes.
SPIKE
Ready!
TWILIGHT
My dearest teacher, studies continued
And knowledge sought have led me to a dire
Discovery. To this precipice, toward
Disaster, we-
SPIKE
Nay, hold! Preci-?
TWILIGHT
Threshold?
SPIKE
Thresh-
TWILIGHT
Brink?
Simply... that something wicked this way comes!
In truth, “The Mare in our Moon” masks the name
Nightmare Moon, who is prophesied to bring
Night to no end. To action, I plead, make haste
To make assured this terror goes undone!
Thy quick response is my humble request.
Thy faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Spike,
yet finished?
SPIKE
“Twilight Sparkle”… finished ma’am!
TWILIGHT
Tis well! Away with it!
SPIKE
At once?
TWILIGHT
Of course!
SPIKE
I dare not, Twilight! Princess Celestia
Makes preparations for the Summer Sun
Hours of Merriment. The days are twain.
TWILIGHT
Ay, there’s the rub! The days are twain and so
The years are counted at one-thousand all!
It is imperative she know at once!
SPIKE
Imper… imper…
TWILIGHT
Important!
SPIKE
Oh! Fair.
It is sent. Hold not thy breath long.
TWILIGHT
No doubt!
No doubt have I for my princess, nor her
For me. Our faith is undeterred.
How now? Has she replied so soon? What haste!
SPIKE
Huh. Quote the princess: “My most dear student,
Twilight, my dusk, my dawn, my faithful one,
I prize thy diligence, my trust complete,
But those old books corrupt thy reasoning.”
Exeunt
ACT 2
SCENE 1, Ponyville
Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and two charioteers, with a chariot
SPIKE
“My dear Twilight, thou need to know my thought:
A young pony’s hours are precious gems.
Thou cast too many at swine o’er studying.
Thou fail to rest, then be my agent, yet,
Though thy task is preparation made
For Summer Sun day yet to come, instead,
Consider thee thy mission to be thus:
That Ponyville is thy ends, go make friends!”
Her royal highness, et cetera, end.
Take brighter view, Twi. Thank Celestia,
Thy living space shall be a library.
May thou be mirthful?
TWILIGHT
Yea, I may. And why?
Because I’m right! The preparations swift
Shall be done, then the library with haste
To find some proof of Nightmare Moon’s return.
SPIKE
Prithy... and making friends?
TWILIGHT
Duty only.
These preparations need check from me,
Celestia’s student I am, yet this
Consideration over making friends
Holds not Equestria in sway of fate.
[To the charioteers] O, farewell, honest souldiers, duty done.
Exit soldiers, Enter PINKIE
SPIKE
[To TWILIGHT] Perchance these ponies speaketh well.
TWILIGHT
[To PINKIE] Um… hail?
Exit PINKIE with a gasp
TWILIGHT
Tis diverting for certain well enough.
Exeunt
SCENE 2, in Sweet Apple Acres
Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE
SPIKE
Our Summer Sun Day letter of request
At once requires a trip to make notice
Of Sweet Apple Acres banquet prepared.
Enter APPLEJACK
APPLEJACK
Hey, nonny nonny!
TWILIGHT
[Aside] O, Mercy, may this be most brief… Good day,
And you may give my name as Twilight Spar-
APPLEJACK
Well, hail and good morrow, Maid Twilight!
Tis a jolly acquaintance made!
I am Applejack, sincerely yours!
Not only I, but each of us at this
Sweet Apple Acres are anxious to become friends.
TWILIGHT
My friend? To this I am most contrary-
APPLEJACK
What ask you of I, your humble servant?
TWILIGHT
Well, I am fairly here to ensure your
Readiness made for Celebration hence,
Of Summer Sun, to be on mark as well.
And you are charged to ready food, Maiden?
APPLEJACK
No less than truth, as sugar’s sweet.
And sugary sweets are our provision
Which will prove it to be true, and no less.
We could lick our own hooves,
Or give you some to judge yourself!
TWILIGHT
May Brevity invited be, tis well…
APPLEJACK
Everypony, come in from thy labors!
For festive treats in festive flavors!
Enter BIG MACINTOSH, APPLE BLOOM, GRANNY SMITH, and assorted apple family members
It is my honor and custom to introduce
My kinsmares to thee. Tis well I do, savy?
TWILIGHT
My thanks, and yet for haste necessar-
APPLEJACK
May I present: Apple Fritter. Apple Bumpkin.
Red Gala. Red Delicious, Golden Delicious,
Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart,
Baked Apples, Apple Brioche, Apple Cinnamon Crisp...
[Aside] I catch my breath, but these three you must know….
Big MacIntosh, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith.
Rise from thy slumber, Granny Smith,
And break thy fast with these strange folks we host.
GRANNY
What? Supper this hour? I draw near to take my place…
APPLEJACK
Stranger though thou be, thou are as kin already!
TWILIGHT
Alright, tis well, the realm of food is fair,
Tis best that we should journey on our way.
BLOOM
Prithy, thou will not stay to eat?
TWILIGHT
Oh, sorry, yet our labors beckon us...
[Aside] What mournful cry they make… oh fine, we stay!
Exeunt
SCENE 3, Ponyville
Enter TWILIGHT and SPIKE
SPIKE
Food is readied, then next is storm.
TWILIGHT
Oh, pain!
That pie should go from sweet to sow despair…
SPIKE
A pegasus pony, Maid Rainbow Dash,
Is said to cast away the clouds.
TWILIGHT
‘Tis said,
And yet I see these vapor puffs of white
That do corrupt the air; how banished they?
Enter RAINBOW, colliding with TWILIGHT
RAINBOW
[Laughing] Uh, kindly pardon me? Too late for that?
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Though I am coated with this mud, I feel
So strangely lighter than I was before.
RAINBOW
So how about you let me help.
SPIKE
[Aside] Observe!
She pours forth rain from out a cloud.
RAINBOW
[Laughing] Now wet? I over showered you, it seems.
No worry! I shall string you up with my
Own “Rain-Clothes-Line.”
She causes a tornado over Twilight
No thanks do I desire.
‘Tis well. Oh, any time would I… your hair… [Laughter]
TWILIGHT
I do presume to address Rainbow Dash.
RAINBOW
The same. And me so much renowned to you?
TWILIGHT
“Renowned” for task assigned to clear the sky.
Renowned is she the Princess, by her reign
I, Twilight Sparkle, oversee your work.
RAINBOW
Simplicity itself. A moments work.
For now, I practice.
TWILIGHT
Practice? Why? What for?
RAINBOW
The Wonderbolts! I mean to impress them
During the Celebration soon to come.
TWILIGHT
The Wonderbolts?
RAINBOW
The same!
TWILIGHT
Equestria’s
Most skilled of all who fly in t’air?
RAINBOW
The same!
TWILIGHT
I scoff at this! Your work remains undone.
They can not trust the greatest work to one
Who fails to even clear the sky all day.
RAINBOW
Let turn the minute glass! Let fall the grains!
You mark when one of six have fallen down.
The sky at then is cleared!
TWILIGHT
You say, then act.
RAINBOW
She clears the sky
With ease, I cast away these clouds from sky!
The time I gave myself sufficed in flat.
Deny I Ponyville its light? Never.
Your face is struck with awe, Twilight Sparkle.
What jest! Your company I’ll ever enjoy.
Exit RAINBOW
SPIKE
I will admit to awe.
TWILIGHT
[Aside] “I will admit?”
He has no qualm!
SPIKE
Hold fast, thy hair looks well!
Exhuant
SCENE 4, Town Hall
Enter RARITY, then TWILIGHT and SPIKE
SPIKE
Such decorations found! Beauty…
TWILIGHT
Indeed,
The decking carries on surpassing well.
Assuredly this will be done in brief.
So done, we take our leave to library.
Beauty indeed.
SPIKE
The decking? No! ‘Tis her!
RARITY
She examines fabric.
[To herself] With neither this, nor that, oh goodness no.
SPIKE
[To TWILIGHT] My spines had best be straight. Are they?
TWILIGHT
[To RARITY] Good day-
RARITY
A moment, prithy, as I do my work!
I am astray within the task at hand.
[To herself] Eureka! Sparkle always does the trick.
Not so? Oh, Rarity, a talent thee!
[To TWILIGHT] May, now, I help you- Fie! Oh stars, Darling!
Whatever happened that thy locks are so?
TWILIGHT
My mane? You might prefer I hold my tongue.
I’m merely here to look upon your work.
I’ll play the bat but briefly in your hair.
RARITY
A bat set on my hair, yet look at thine!
TWILIGHT
Nay, hold! Where do you shove me toward? Nay, help!
Exeunt
SCENE 5, Carousel Boutique
Enter RARITY, TWILIGHT, and SPIKE
RARITY
I’ll try to find the dress that suits thee best,
Yet each, it seems, carries some flaw against.
Too green, too gold, too puffed, too flat, too frilled.
Even thy name betrays this shininess…
Continue, dear. From whence came thee, prithee?
TWILIGHT
[Gasping for breath] I have been sent to here from Canterlot.
RARITY
Huh? Canterlot!? I sway with envy, dear!
What great allure, what cultural impart!
I lay my head to sleep and I am there!
We two shall be the best of friends indeed…
What? Emeralds? That will not do. Rubies!
Exit RARITY
TWILIGHT
Let us depart, before she paints my coat
In unfamiliar hues against my want!
Exeunt
SCENE 6, A Wood
Enter SPIKE and TWILIGHT happening upon FLUTTERSHY
SPIKE
I burn, I pine, I perish...
TWILIGHT
Romeo,
Prithee lose thyself in work as well.
What next have we to do?
SPIKE
Last is… music.
FLUTTERSHY
She conducts the birds
[To the birds] Oh my. Prithee, halt thy musings. Pardon me?
I don’t pursue injury on thy pride, but
Thy rhythm, by a hair's small width, is off, sir.
Onward, prithee to play to my instruction.
On count of one, of two, of one and two and-
TWILIGHT
Hello! Pardon the fright I gave your birds.
I am to judge your music, lovely sound.
I’m Twilight Sparkle. And your name is which?
FLUTTERSHY
I go by name of Fluttershy, my lady.
[Aside] Oh, no. I am too soft of voice. She’ll ask more…
TWILIGHT
Sorry, I heard you not. What was the name?
FLUTTERSHY
My lady, call me Fluttershy the pony.
[Aside] It is most retrograde to end our speech, yet
I can not summon strength to speak more loudly.
TWILIGHT
I do not catch your gab, I fear. Again?
[Aside] Oh, what a suttle shriek she maketh now.
I right shall say some parting words and leave.
Your birds return, so all is well for me.
Your work maintain and worries part for us.
[To SPIKE] Most well, ‘twas simple task for once at least.
FLUTTERSHY
Oh, do my eyes behold a baby dragon?
In all my life I never saw such sweetness!
SPIKE
What flattery...
FLUTTERSHY
Oh my, he speaks? I knew not
That dragons had the gift of speech. What wonder!
My words evade their use at this juncture.
TWILIGHT
‘Tis for the better that we do depart.
FLUTTERSHY
Less haste! What, may I ask, is his name given?
SPIKE
I’m Spike.
FLUTTERSHY
Hail Spike, I’m Fluttershy. Amazing!
How do dragons their words employ?
SPIKE
What questions
Might be desired to know?
FLUTTERSHY
All things absolute.
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Oh fie, this story too familiar is!
SPIKE
At first I was a green and purple egg…
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Oh let us close this act before that tale.
Exeunt
ACT 3
SCENE 1, A Library in a Tree
Enter TWILIGHT, SPIKE, and FLUTTERSHY
SPIKE
…And thus concludes the story of my life.
That is except today. Hear of today?
FLUTTERSHY
Oh yea, a pleasure it would be for certain
TWILIGHT
What pitiable luck: have we arrived?
This is my final stop, my dwelling now
And so my baby dragon’s resting place.
SPIKE
I tire not-- whoa!
Twilight subtlety knocks him over
TWILIGHT
Oh look, how sleepy he
Can not so much as stand on little feet.
FLUTTERSHY
Poor thing, he simply must be cast to cradle…
TWILIGHT
I shall accept your sage advice at once.
Goodnight!
Exit FLUTTERSHY
SPIKE
Huh. Rude performance, right?
TWILIGHT
Sorry,
And yet I need convince the Princess soon
That Nightmare Moon anon makes her return.
I need to be alone to study with
No interruption. Maddened ponies sue
For friendship, yet there is no time for that.
Prithee, the lights? This room is dark as pitch.
These words I say in confidence might be
Absorbed by sponges of the library,
But surely these few lights are from our eyes
And each for t’other. Where is light?
Enter PINKIE and a host of ponies hiding in the shadows
PONIES and PINKIE
Suprise!
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Oh fade to black again for mercy’s sake.
PINKIE
Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! I brought this party
About just for you! Surprised? You are, huh?
Were you? Where you? Won’t you tell me so, huh?
TWILIGHT
Surprised, yea… libraries are quiet, true?
PINKIE
Well, that’s foolish! It’s a sorry party
With no ruckus and revelry. Bo-ring!
See, I saw you when you first arrived here,
Remember? You said “Um… hail?” I let a
Gasp, you remember? You see, I never
Saw you before. If I never saw you
Before then you’re surely new, because I
Know fain everypony Ponyville holds.
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Among such ponies these, I take to cups.
PINKIE
If you’re new, that meant you hadn’t met a
Soul quite yet, and if thus, faithfully, then
Loneliness you carry with you only,
So I much distressed was to think of,
So instead I had a thought that made me
Gasp, a great idea whose results you
See! A stately pleasure-dome decreed I,
Welcoming you alongside all ponies
Now made neighbor to you. Shall you witness?
Now you are possessed of friends, oh many!
Enter APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Oh cruel bottle, thy taste is hot as fire!
APPLEJACK
Are you well, lady?
Exit TWILIGHT, full-steamed
PINKIE
In her joy, mistaken tears she let fall!
SPIKE
Mistaken she was, having drunk hot sauce.
Pinkie Pie eats the hot sauce on a cupcake
PINKIE
No objections shall I hear. ‘Tis good food!
SCENE 2, A bedroom
Enter TWILIGHT, half-enter SPIKE hovering in the entrance
SPIKE
Twilight, that pony Pinkie Pie has called
A game of “tails return to pony.” Play?
TWILIGHT
Nay! All the ponies living here are mad!
You know what hour it is, or do you not?
SPIKE
It is the Celebrations eve, Twilight.
We stay awake to watch the sun arise
With Princess guiding it, those resting miss.
Raise not thy ire so, Twilight. ‘Tis a fair!
Exit SPIKE
TWILIGHT
Ugh, here believed I that I would have time
To learn the Elements of Harmony’s
Significance, yet, fool I was, I found
The insignificance of friends acquired.
“The stars will aid in her escape, and she
Will bring about an everlasting night.”
I pray the Princess had the right idea.
I pray I am a fool to think it true.
Enter SPIKE
Onward, Twilight, the time has come to watch
The sun as it is made to rise today!
Exeunt
SCENE 3, A Town Hall
Enter crowd of ponies, including TWILIGHT, SPIKE, APPLEJACK, RAINBOW, RARITY, FLUTTERSHY, PINKIE, and MAYOR
PINKIE
Isn’t this exciting? Be you roused, for
Cause I am fain roused, I’ve never been
Just so excited, save that hour you
Entered into town and let I one gasp,
Truly, though, what claim could be the greater?
MAYOR
Fillies and gentlecolts, lend me your ears!
Fair Ponyville, I am thy mayor proud!
It is my pleasure great to declare start
To Celebration of the Summer Sun!
Our town shall witness sunrise, magic’s work,
And celebrate the longest day this year!
And now, it honors me to introduce
The ruler of our land, so good and wise,
The sun and moon her gifts to us each day,
The bringer of the harmony to all
Who live in peace in great Equestria…
FLUTTERSHY
[To the birds] Prepare thy song, my lovely ones, for here’s she.
MAYOR
Our Princess Celestia! [To an empty stage] Princess, your cue…
TWILIGHT
[Aside] Oh surely some misfortune hath befell.
MAYOR
Be not alarmed, everypony, for sure
It is to be reasoned and short explained!
PINKIE
Make a guess then? Does she hide in playing?
RARITY
Darlings, I fear she is simply gone.
PINKIE
Playing with such skill as that impresses.
Enter Nightmare Moon, at which all ponies gasp in fear
TWILIGHT
[Aside] ‘Tis Nightmare Moon! ‘Tis what I had so feared!
NIGHTMARE
Oh, my beloved subjects. Too long we have
Been kept apart, you who so loved the sun.
RAINBOW
What have you done? Our Princess make return!
APPLEJACK
Be restrained! My mouth I may employ
To hold thee back. It does no good to charge
Straight toward such wicked fate.
NIGHTMARE
I am not thought to be as royal? You’re
Too ignorant to know who I may be?
PINKIE
Make a guess again! How’s “Cleopatra”?
Cross that... try “Queen Mab”! Again not rightly?
Oh, right! “Titania”, “Titania”!
NIGHTMARE
These thousand years have tarnished black my crown?
You did not know the legend? Did you not see
The signs of who I am and what I’ll do?
TWILIGHT
I did. I know you are the Mare in our
The Moon. What’s more, you are the Nightmare Moon.
NIGHTMARE
Somepony who remembers well my name.
You must then know my cause in being here?
TWILIGHT
[Aside] I know, but speech has failed me at this time.
NIGHTMARE
Remember today, little ponies, well,
For ‘twas your last. From now until the end,
The sky turns not to day, the night shall stay!
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MLP and the Bard? Downloaded.
GODLIKE WRITING
Applejack was the best part!
THE BARD! YES! MOARE!
I like it!
This is amazing!
This is awesome! My favorite line was: [Aside] Among such ponies these, I take to cups. It just cracked me up.
Shakes a spear at the writer
Thanks for the nice feedback so far, all. Also, if anyone knows of any groups they think this would gain traction in, feel free to tell me about them. That seems to be how people usually find stories on this site, but I was not able to find a group that seemed to fit with this concept.
I love it, but you're way behind quota for random knob and fart jokes for the bard.
This was bizarrely creative. I especially loved Rainbow's introduction. I'm not quite sure I've ever seen something like this on the site. I logged on for the first time in a year just to comment on it. Favorited. And I think you should continue to add chapters to this story if you're only doing a run-through of the episodes. I feel like the story feed could get cluttered with categorically all too similar content otherwise. That being said, I could imagine an original fanfic, and ignore the oxymoron – I mean a story that isn't based on an episode, being written like this, provided you're conceptually smart and play your cards right.
I think wrong apostrophe, unless there's something about the poetic tradition I don't know about, which is also possible.
8217813
Thank you for the high praise! Also, I’m glad you caught that “it’s.” I get annoyed seeing that mistake myself. Fixed!
8217877
Don't mention it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think you deserved it. When I saw the description, I thought it sounded a bit... gimmicky, to be honest. It seemed far-fetched that anyone would actually put down all the effort needed to rewrite the entire first episode in verse, mimicking Shakespeare, but do it with actual poetic integrity to boot, which is what this story concept needed to succeed. You were soon vindicated though. I hope others didn't have the same reaction I did when they saw the description.
Among such ponies these, I take to cups.
I see what you did there. Just found this, and I'm very glad I did! I hope you continue it someday.